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Women offline vs. online

Discussion in 'Singles (Only*)' started by MacFall, Jul 5, 2010.

  1. Blank123

    Blank123 Legend

    +3,447
    Catholic
    Married

    well we picked NC because we had three CFers living in roughly the same area, so it seemed like the logical choice. but then things happened and two have moved/are moving. so the plans fell apart.

    I'd be all for it though if someone else wanted to set one up. but it might be better to plan for next winter or spring so everybody has time to plan ahead and save up and everything.
     
  2. CoachR64

    CoachR64 Awesome, with a side order of amazing

    +632
    Christian
    Married
    US-Republican
    One thing I have learned is that online, specifically with Christian women, there is a big time tendency to give the "Sunday School" answer and claim a lot of thing they feel are the Christian answer. I am not saying many of them are not being truthful, but a lot of it is often exaggerated when held to the fire.

    It is popular among Christian circles to claim that outward appearance doesn't matter and the only beauty that does is internal. When that gets put to the test, it is often not true in the extreme form in which it is claimed.

    It is easy for us all to say and claim things online because there is no risk of actually having to live up to them in the real world. So, women online can tell you a bunch of things to make you happy or appease what you want to hear, with no risk of having to follow it with actions offline.

    *I am not saying this is exclusive to women, I am simply addressing the topic in reference to women due to the OP.

    Coach
     
  3. jameseb

    jameseb Smite me, O Mighty Smiter!

    +2,183
    United States
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    US-Others

    *whispers* Psst! Hey, I agree with you... just not saying it out loud - don't want to get my eyes scratched out. :sorry:
     
  4. AuburnMeg

    AuburnMeg Contributor

    +516
    Christian
    Private
    I try to represent myself online just like I would offline. There are, of course, some differences. I'm shy at first in person, and I don't really hold back on here. That said though, I don't say things that I think will make me look like a better person/more appealing or whatever. I don't really care. You like me or you don't, and that is a philosophy that is true for me in real life as well. I'm not a people pleaser by any stretch of the imagination, and I don't pretend to be on here either.
     
  5. septemberskies

    septemberskies You can find me on cloud no.9

    +322
    Christian
    US-Democrat
    I have to agree with you totally... i've noticed a lot of Christians online and in the church give the "bible answers" for appearances sake. You could ask: "Hey Sue, would you like to go for a cup of coffee today?". More than likely Sue will respond "Sure, I mean God willing..." Seriously? We are talking coffee here!

    I'm a little leary of statements like this now because in my experience people were hiding who they really were.
     
  6. Rhye

    Rhye Legend

    +4,109
    Oriental Orthodox
    Single
    I have to agree with this.

    Though I am a little bit of a people pleaser (very much offline-its just my nature. It stinks but its true).

    I am also extremely shy at first, but then warm up and am exactly how I am here. My reactions, and thoughts are the same I would have in person. Its just edited (well, sometimes-when I make typos---okkkayy typos all the time :D).

    For instance, even here I don't like talking about politics though I have really strong opinions on it, and I don't even do it IRL.
    And did I mention I talk with my hands?
    Yeah. A lot. Extremely animated in that sense.
    So, if I hit you in the face while talking....sorry.^_^

    Just letting you know, cause I've done it before by accident. :234:
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2010
  7. broken_one

    broken_one Fear is but something to be overcome.

    +764
    Methodist
    Single
    Online I'm more like this:
    [​IMG]

    IRL I'm more like this:
    [​IMG]

    Though I may enjoy a victory cigar or two. :p Yay for easy explanations thanks to the A-Team, lol.
     
  8. Rory

    Rory The Dude abides...

    +557
    Christian
    Single
    I hear ya bro, offline I've never been complimented yet online I've gotten a few. My cynicism tends to blow them off in my mind as "yeah easy to say from thousands of miles away and 99% chance you'll never have to say it to my face" but at the same time I don't consider the women here liars so my inner thoughts are quite conflicted lol

    There does seem to be a bit of a difference online and off though. Not that I've tried dating offline recently, but from past experience even the women I've dated never seemed that into me. I always feel like more of someone to pass time with till someone better comes along for them. Yet online I've had many beautiful women say nice things about me.

    I'd probably agree mostly with Vicki's first reply, I think it has mostly to do with the fact that on here we have a select group, a bunch of christian ladies that aren't really hung up on wanting that perfect brad pitt or whatever type. They look at who you are not just what you look like, and then base it off both.

    I could be wrong of course. Just guessing.
     
  9. Rhye

    Rhye Legend

    +4,109
    Oriental Orthodox
    Single
    Ugh. Brad Pitt.

    *shrug*
    The man annoys me.
     
  10. Rory

    Rory The Dude abides...

    +557
    Christian
    Single
    I have the dvd for twelve monkeys next to me so he was first person to come to mind lol sorry
     
  11. MacFall

    MacFall Agorist

    +997
    Christian
    Single
    US-Others
    12 Monkeys. Good movie.
     
  12. ~Beauty_from_Pain~

    ~Beauty_from_Pain~ By His grace, For His glory

    +623
    Non-Denom
    Private
    US-Republican
    We're just more desparate. :p
     
  13. Wren

    Wren Well-Known Member

    +2,194
    United States
    Presbyterian
    Married
    I doubt I'm your typical Christian woman online for a bunch of reasons (I'm a political progressive, don't use Christian catch phrases, etc), but I will admit that I'm a touch more diplomatic online. I do not lie or mislead, though. If I say that I think you are good looking (or that I think you look like Val Kilmer) I mean it. If I don't have something nice to say, I say nothing and do not just compliment to be nice.

    I do think I come across as a little bit nicer online because it seems wiser to be somewhat careful with your words when there is no tone of voice or body language. Offline I'm louder, much more animated (in tone, volume, and with my body), and tend to be a bit more blunt. I say stuff offline that I'm hesitant to say here because I think it may be taken the wrong way or I don't trust that the person I would say something to wouldn't just fight with me. I like discussions. I'm not interested in fighting with anyone.

    I agree with those who say that you are typically going to find different people offline than online. Offline, it is difficult for me to find people who read for fun. Here, however, most people seem to read for fun, when they have time. I agree that most women offline, that I talk to, generally are not as excited about intelligence in a man. Most women (and men), that I know offline, aren't interested in intellectual conversations. I love to read for fun and intelligence is incredibly sexy to me. But that's one reason I'm here so often. I don't get the intellectual convos and fun (my kind of fun) people offline that I do here.
     
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2010
  14. broken_one

    broken_one Fear is but something to be overcome.

    +764
    Methodist
    Single
    Somehow I think this reference to a washed-up actor was meant for me. :p

    But thanks.
     
  15. Wren

    Wren Well-Known Member

    +2,194
    United States
    Presbyterian
    Married
    Yes. :D It was an example of a comment I made that was said in honesty, not pity or anything like that.

    You're welcome.
     
  16. Themistocles

    Themistocles Newbie

    434
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    Of course there are plenty of smart people IRL. I'm talking statistics though not anecdotes. There have been demographic profiles of those who frequent online communities. They are, as a group, pretty much exactly as I described. Of course the very smartest people may not spend time on forums- they no doubt have better things to do. But, if you're comparing to an equivalent RL group- for instance, serious Christians who frequent message boards like CF vs serious Christians who don't, you'll almost certainly see something like those differences.
     
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2010
  17. Wren

    Wren Well-Known Member

    +2,194
    United States
    Presbyterian
    Married
    I looked at this thread again and realized that I must have originally skipped the 2nd page for whatever reason. But now that I've seen the quoted, I need to respond. I have met 4 CFers. They were all pretty much how they are online. And I asked Kevin if I was different offline and he said that I wasn't. I didn't ask Miles, that I can recall, but obviously I'm not too different because he liked me both online and offline.
     
  18. Blank123

    Blank123 Legend

    +3,447
    Catholic
    Married
    yep. I've met two CFers so far and we got along just as well offline as online. One of them is still such a good friend of mine after 4 years that I call her my twin :D

    I do think I trust most people here to be representing themselves as truthfully as they can, but ulu is right there probably are differences. Some of you may be shocked, if you ever meet me IRL, to find that I actually am rather quiet and soft-spoken IRL :p how I come across online is still my real personality, but usually only those close to me get to see that side of me IRL.
     
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