the last child

This. this is my right eye—no left eye. sorry. Lol
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One of my best friend's sister-in-law had a successful career. Her husband was 70 and she was 50. She decided she wanted a baby. So they went to a clinic, and she got pregnant with twins. One died midterm. The other was born healthy. I was really disturbed about this because of her age. And the age of her husband. But then I began researching this, and found that actually there is a big wave of women who have just now reached their 50s and even 60s, have had successful careers, and long for children. And due to the miracles of science, the wealthy are able to have them. What do you think about this?

These babies will graduate high school when their parents are reaching their 70s and 80s. Some of their parents will die before they graduate. Many of them will not live to see their grandkids. These women went into the work force and traded a family life for a successful career. Then their maternal instincts kicked in and they faced regrets and longing for children. There's nothing wrong with women having successful careers. But is it fair to these children? What are your thoughts?
 
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Tolworth John

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That it is totaly selfish.
If they wanted children they should have had them when they were young, fit and healthy so they could be there for there children as they left school and started there own families.

The whole divorce, single parent and late parent issue is not concerned for the well being of the child but only with the wants, feelings of the parents and principaly only with the mother.
 
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Rescued One

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If God wanted old people to have children, why do women go through menopause? Will those children have normal lives? Will there be a sibling? Does the child end up caring for elderly parents before he/she graduates from high school? My husband's parents were the ages of my grandparents; his mother was 37 when he was born. His father was 45. I can't imagine a fifty-year-old woman becoming a mother for the first time.

Psalm 127
3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

Sarah was old when she had Isaac, but she lived to be 127.

Genesis 18
9 And they said unto him, Where is Sarah thy wife? And he said, Behold, in the tent. 10 And he said, I will certainly return unto thee according to the time of life; and, lo, Sarah thy wife shall have a son. And Sarah heard it in the tent door, which was behind him. 11 Now Abraham and Sarah were old and well stricken in age; and it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women. 12 Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also? 13 And the LORD said unto Abraham, Wherefore did Sarah laugh, saying, Shall I of a surety bear a child, which am old? 14Is any thing too hard for the LORD? At the time appointed I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son. 15 Then Sarah denied, saying, I laughed not; for she was afraid. And he said, Nay; but thou didst laugh.

Genesis 21
1 And the LORD visited Sarah as he had said, and the LORD did unto Sarah as he had spoken. 2 For Sarah conceived, and bare Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which God had spoken to him. 3 And Abraham called the name of his son that was born unto him, whom Sarah bare to him, Isaac. 4 And Abraham circumcised his son Isaac being eight days old, as God had commanded him. 5 And Abraham was an hundred years old, when his son Isaac was born unto him. 6 And Sarah said, God hath made me to laugh, so that all that hear will laugh with me. 7 And she said, Who would have said unto Abraham, that Sarah should have given children suck? for I have born him a son in his old age.

Genesis 23
1 And Sarah was an hundred and seven and twenty years old: these were the years of the life of Sarah. 2 And Sarah died in Kirjatharba; the same is Hebron in the land of Canaan: and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her.

Genesis 24
1 And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age: and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things. 2 And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh: 3 And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell: 4 But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac. 5 And the servant said unto him, Peradventure the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land: must I needs bring thy son again unto the land from whence thou camest? 6 And Abraham said unto him, Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again. 7 The LORD God of heaven, which took me from my father's house, and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence. 8 And if the woman will not be willing to follow thee, then thou shalt be clear from this my oath: only bring not my son thither again. 9 And the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and sware to him concerning that matter.

62 And Isaac came from the way of the well Lahairoi; for he dwelt in the south country. 63 And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming. 64And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel. 65For she had said unto the servant, What man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a vail, and covered herself. 66And the servant told Isaac all things that he had done. 67 And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.
 
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Aussie Pete

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One of my best friend's sister-in-law had a successful career. Her husband was 70 and she was 50. She decided she wanted a baby. So they went to a clinic, and she got pregnant with twins. One died midterm. The other was born healthy. I was really disturbed about this because of her age. And the age of her husband. But then I began researching this, and found that actually there is a big wave of women who have just now reached their 50s and even 60s, have had successful careers, and long for children. And due to the miracles of science, the wealthy are able to have them. What do you think about this?

These babies will graduate high school when their parents are reaching their 80s and 90s. Some of their parents will die before they graduate. Many of them will not live to see their grandkids. These women went into the work force and traded a family life for a successful career. Then their maternal instincts kicked in and they faced regrets and longing for children. There's nothing wrong with women having successful careers. But is it fair to these children? What are your thoughts?
It's hard to see how it is fair on the child. It used to be the reverse, have a family then work towards a good retirement. My parents did exactly that, retired in comfort and had grandchildren to enjoy. It's a better option when you get a bit older. When the kids have worn you out, give them back to the parents!
 
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Heavenhome

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I think this is very selfish bit that seems to be what is encouraged in society now.
"I want"......when I want and do anything to get it.
There is so much emphasis that is put on women being able to have it all but its not true and it is to the detriment of the family unit as a whole.
I do believe that to have children at that age is wrong.
Note that they had to go to a clinic for it, as said previously there is a reason for all things and menopause is one that tells us that our childbearing years ( naturally) are behind us.
I feel very sorry for the children of these older couples as they won't have a long life with their parents in it.
 
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Dave-W

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I am 64. I would not want to try to keep up with a small child or even a teen ager at my age. I am not sure I could even do it.

That said, my best friend (born a 2 months after me in 1955) had a dad in his 50s when he was born. He was the only WW1 vet I ever met.
 
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mama2one

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we met a family through an adoption group after we adopted our child
we both had one child at the group meeting

however, they have continued to keep adopting and have just adopted their 5th child

to me it seems they are past the age to adopt & surprised they keep getting approved
 
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the last child

This. this is my right eye—no left eye. sorry. Lol
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One of my best friend's sister-in-law had a successful career. Her husband was 70 and she was 50. She decided she wanted a baby. So they went to a clinic, and she got pregnant with twins. One died midterm. The other was born healthy. I was really disturbed about this because of her age. And the age of her husband. But then I began researching this, and found that actually there is a big wave of women who have just now reached their 50s and even 60s, have had successful careers, and long for children. And due to the miracles of science, the wealthy are able to have them. What do you think about this?

These babies will graduate high school when their parents are reaching their 80s and 90s. Some of their parents will die before they graduate. Many of them will not live to see their grandkids. These women went into the work force and traded a family life for a successful career. Then their maternal instincts kicked in and they faced regrets and longing for children. There's nothing wrong with women having successful careers. But is it fair to these children? What are your thoughts?

So if you had an older female friend who was wanting to have children, what would you say to her? The female maternal instinct is very strong, and the emotions that come with it can be devastating. When I had my son, I had to have a C-section because he was so big, and I was so small. The pregnancy had been very long (10 months) and painful (the last 4 months in bed), and the doctor recommended getting my tubes tied during the surgery. I was in so much pain the thought of getting them tied was like a gold medal waiting an exhausted Olympic champion runner.

About three months later, it hit me that I could no longer have babies. And suddenly I felt like a part of me was gone. When they “tied” my tubes they actually cut them and then cauterized the ends. There would be no more babies. The emotional pain of this realization and the sudden desire to undo my decision so that I could be whole again, and be able to have another child, was more painful to me than what I had felt when I begged the doctor to tie my tubes. I cried like a baby for weeks.

I only share this because I can empathize with how strong and painful the desire to have children can be when it washes over you. I believe God created us this way so that we would, well, want to have those snot nosed little brats—I mean beautiful little angels.

Which kinda brings me to a slightly off topic but related rabbit trail—single women who never get married (i.e. never meet the right guy or don’t want to marry) but want to have children. They too have a significant life limitation or untraditional circumstance. What do you think about this? What would you say to her?
 
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the last child

This. this is my right eye—no left eye. sorry. Lol
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we met a family through an adoption group after we adopted our child
we both had one child at the group meeting

however, they have continued to keep adopting and have just adopted their 5th child

to me it seems they are past the age to adopt & surprised they keep getting approved
we met a family through an adoption group after we adopted our child
we both had one child at the group meeting

however, they have continued to keep adopting and have just adopted their 5th child

to me it seems they are past the age to adopt & surprised they keep getting approved
we met a family through an adoption group after we adopted our child
we both had one child at the group meeting

however, they have continued to keep adopting and have just adopted their 5th child

to me it seems they are past the age to adopt & surprised they keep getting approved
we met a family through an adoption group after we adopted our child
we both had one child at the group meeting

however, they have continued to keep adopting and have just adopted their 5th child

to me it seems they are past the age to adopt & surprised they keep getting approved
we met a family through an adoption group after we adopted our child
we both had one child at the group meeting

however, they have continued to keep adopting and have just adopted their 5th child

to me it seems they are past the age to adopt & surprised they keep getting approved

That’s interesting. I wonder what the policy is for adoption agencies with regards to the adopter’s age, and if it is regulated by any state laws or federal laws or if it varies by agency. And if it is up to the agency, I wonder what their criteria is for making their age limit.
 
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the last child

This. this is my right eye—no left eye. sorry. Lol
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I am 64. I would not want to try to keep up with a small child or even a teen ager at my age. I am not sure I could even do it.

That said, my best friend (born a 2 months after me in 1955) had a dad in his 50s when he was born. He was the only WW1 vet I ever met.

I’m not good at math, but I’m assuming his father is dead? How old was he when he died? The loss of a parent for those 20-30 years that children who are conceived at a relatively young age traditionally have with their parents would be significant.
 
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mama2one

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we have several family members who gave birth at age 40 or older
most were "blessed surprises" and occurred several years after the previous child


heard in the news of a woman in her 50's giving birth & had no medical intervention to become pregnant
that of course is very rare!

believe one of the U.S. adoption agencies was started by a couple who adopted several children internationally
pretty sure they were in their 50s
 
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Dave-W

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I’m not good at math, but I’m assuming his father is dead? How old was he when he died? The loss of a parent for those 20-30 years that children who are conceived at a relatively young age traditionally have with their parents would be significant.
I was 22 when I married and Dave my friend was in the wedding party. His parents (who were like a 2nd set of parents to me) were not in attendance as his dad was gravely ill. That was in Sept of 1977. The next month I was a pall bearer at his dad's funeral. I believe he was in his early 80s.
 
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the last child

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I was 22 when I married and Dave my friend was in the wedding party. His parents (who were like a 2nd set of parents to me) were not in attendance as his dad was gravely ill. That was in Sept of 1977. The next month I was a pall bearer at his dad's funeral. I believe he was in his early 80s.

Wow. I’m glad he lived long enough to see your wedding! That must have been hard.
 
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the last child

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we have several family members who gave birth at age 40 or older
most were "blessed surprises" and occurred several years after the previous child


heard in the news of a woman in her 50's giving birth & had no medical intervention to become pregnant
that of course is very rare!

believe one of the U.S. adoption agencies was started by a couple who adopted several children internationally
pretty sure they were in their 50s

How old were the children?
 
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Dave-W

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Wow. I’m glad he lived long enough to see your wedding! That must have been hard.
No he did not get to see it. He was hospitalized.

Yes it was hard. He was one of the most honest men I ever met, and he was a lawyer. Never lost a case, and argued his last one in 1959 before the Supreme Court.
 
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tturt

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Know this is a variation of your concern. But we're seeing more and more grandparents raising their grandchildren. Some have legally adopted them. Some are still working while others have to get a job to handle their expenses.
 
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*LILAC

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Society is so messed up and backwards! Women who are old enough to be grandmas want to start being a mom because now they feel they have the "time". Well, all I can say is don't expect any "me time" after you've had the child because you already had that for 30 years prior! JMO. Totally unfair to the child.
 
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bekkilyn

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I've never had even a tiny iota of maternal instinct, so I don't really comprehend it myself, but I definitely don't know why it would suddenly "kick in" at 50+ if it wasn't already there before, and if it was there before, why didn't people have their babies earlier? While I can't say I'm against the idea of a 50+ mother or father in all cases, I don't view it as particularly healthy either. The parents will die off soon after the child reaches maturity, and the child may never have opportunity to meet grandparents. They'll likely be the youngest in their who crowd of first cousins and not have opportunity to become really close to family members because of age differences.

If a person just happens to get pregnant at 50+, then sure, that's fine, but to go out of their way to make it happen at 50+?

Why not go work in a preschool or some other place with young children or find work as a nanny?

Just because a person *can* have a child doesn't mean it *should* happen. What's the point of having children so late?

(Note that I feel the same about men having children at 50+ as well as women. The children should be able to have a few good years with their father as well as mother.)
 
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