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Woman

Discussion in 'Struggles by Non-Christians' started by Bob8102, Jan 21, 2020.

  1. Bob8102

    Bob8102 New Member

    84
    +45
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    As I have mentioned in other posts, I full time seek salvation. This means I don't work, and both not working and seeking salvation full time, means I have not been seeking a relationship with a woman, either.

    My seeking salvation full time means I don't have any hobbies or do anything for entertainment, such as watch movies or TV.

    There is a woman who is very attractive who periodically walks by the front of my house, down my street. I've said good morning to her numerous times and know her first name. One time, some weeks ago, I got bold and complimented her on her looks. But then I added, "But Jesus said to seek first the kingdom of heaven." She did not show up for a few weeks after that. I figured my statement had driven her off, and accepted that.

    Last Wednesday, while I was inside the house, looking out the window, I saw her walk by again. She looked a couple times in my direction, quite possibly seeing me in the window. I stared back out at her.

    For the first few hours after that, I controlled my feelings/reaction. I knew I needed to seek Christ, not her. But by the middle of the night, came a seismic reaction within me. I stayed awake the rest of the night, thinking. I decided I wanted to pursue her. I decided I would revamp my entire life, reorienting it around her. I decided I needed to get productive in worldly things, like trying to make money and being more responsible in general. I decided that in case I'm not saved, I'll just have to put working on that to the side, and do it only when I have spare time, outside of my productivity hours. The next day, at Bible study, I asked for prayer for her and our potential relationship.

    Sunday, I became sure I had given my life to Christ, again. This impression lasted through most of yesterday. But by today, I am questioning again. One thing I wonder, was my giving of my life to Christ on Sunday subconsciously motivated by the desire to get on with my life while seeking her, fooling myself into thinking I'm a Christian to clear the way for my newly planned productivity lifestyle?

    In general, and on Sunday in particular, I have been contemplating and praying about the potential conflict of interest between seeking this woman and seeking Jesus. I have thought about the concept of Adam choosing Eve over God, and eating the fruit. I have been going to God in prayer, saying things like, "If this potential relationship needs to be nipped in the bud, let it be nipped in the bud. I need to drop anything and everything You want me to drop. Jesus, You said that whoever does not forsake all that he has, cannot be Your disciple. Help me."

    Now I am wondering if, in spite of praying like that, I have subconsciously settled on seeking the lady over seeking God. If I wondered before about my sincerity in trying to give my life to Christ, I REALLY wonder about it, now.

    On Sunday, thought I really decided to let that relationship drop if God wants me to let it drop. And sincerely gave my life to Jesus. But, like I said, now I'm wondering about what is/has been going on in my subconscious, and if I fake seeking God and for real seek her.
     
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  2. Bob Carabbio

    Bob Carabbio Old guy -

    +446
    United States
    Charismatic
    Married
    US-Others
    How does one: "FULL TIME SEEK SALVATION"???

    Since you Can't come to Christ unless you're DRAWN BY GOD, what are you spending all your time doing??
     
  3. Bob8102

    Bob8102 New Member

    84
    +45
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    I believe God has been drawing me, but it's still up to me to respond.
     
  4. Bob Carabbio

    Bob Carabbio Old guy -

    +446
    United States
    Charismatic
    Married
    US-Others
    How do you propose to respond, and have FAITH (not just intellectual belief) in something that you apparently have no FAITH in?
     
  5. Bob8102

    Bob8102 New Member

    84
    +45
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    PS - you might say I am counting the cost.
     
  6. Bob8102

    Bob8102 New Member

    84
    +45
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Every time I think I give my life to Christ, I shortly (usually immediately) doubt that I did it for real. So, I seek towards doing it for real.
     
  7. PloverWing

    PloverWing Episcopalian

    +2,466
    United States
    Anglican
    Married
    Some thoughts:

    1. A monastic-style life, in which one's entire day is oriented around devotional activities, is the calling for some; but many other Christians find that their devotion to God is expressed through their everyday activities -- creating useful products at work, caring for their friends and family members, and so on. (In fact, many monks also farm, or teach, or create art, or engage in other everyday activities, and these activities are one expression of their devotion to God.)

    2. If you do want to pursue a relationship with this woman, perhaps try for an actual relationship. That is, next time you chat, ask her something about herself. "What kind of work do you do?", or "Did you grow up here? I'm from Cincinnati, myself", or "Walking is a nice form of exercise, isn't it? I like to walk down by the lake. Isn't it pretty this time of year? (etc)" For the record, if I were walking down the street and a strange man complimented me on my looks, I'd find it a little creepy-scary, maybe even scarier than having random Bible verses recited at me. I recommend trying a different conversation-opener.

    3. If you're seeing her as Eve the temptress, then maybe don't pursue the relationship. If your relationship with her works out, then it should be like Priscilla and Aquila, partners working together in service of the Lord. I'd want to be someone's Priscilla, not someone's Eve -- someone's partner, not someone's temptation.
     
  8. Tolworth John

    Tolworth John Well-Known Member

    +2,482
    United Kingdom
    Non-Denom
    Married
    Best advice I can give you is to find from the Christianity explored web site a church running this course and sign up.
    Heaven if the nearest isn't currently running one, start attending that church each week.
    If you want to become a baseball fan you attend baseball matches, in the same way you should be regular at a church talking to the members and questioning the preacher.

    As the Bible says, it is not good for a man to be on his own!
    If she is around invite her to attend church and the Christianity explored course etc etc.
     
  9. joshua 1 9

    joshua 1 9 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +3,524
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    The issue is if you got involved with her how much of your time would she want or expect from you. Once you start to talk to people them there are a lot of things you can ask them. Often they have their own agenda and they are the one to pursue you. I tend to let women be aggressive for various reasons. Sometimes we are a brother and sister in the lord and just friends. Although other people are going to think the relationship is more serious then it is in those situations. Being a Christian means being a part of a family. Brothers - sisters - sons - daughters - mothers - father and so on.
     
  10. Maria Billingsley

    Maria Billingsley Well-Known Member Supporter

    +1,738
    United States
    Christian
    In Relationship
    This is probably a good sign that you have not surrendered to Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Reorient your life with Jesus Christ of Nazareth, receive His Holy Spirit so that the Comforter can lead you in a more righteous life.
    Blessings
     
  11. yeshuaslavejeff

    yeshuaslavejeff simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua

    +10,598
    Anabaptist
    When the good seed is sown, and falls on degenerate soil, it doesn't grow.

    OnlyYahweh (God) is able to save any man. Jesus says this clearly.
    "with man it is impossible"
     
  12. Brianlear

    Brianlear Living life in the pacific NW

    239
    +55
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    You are feeling strongly attracted to her. Why not pursue it? Or at least get to know her a little bit to see if its even feasible. Like you haven't even mentioned if she is married or not, etc. Wouldn't that be essential information here?

    It's seems like you have an underlying assumption that pursuing a woman you find attractive is somehow incompatible with...faith? I think for a very small minority of people that might be true...but for most its just a gift God put here for us to enjoy, and is something that should be reinforcing to faith, not disruptive to it.
     
  13. KisKatte

    KisKatte New Member

    57
    +30
    Germany
    Eastern Orthodox
    In Relationship
    Do you really think God wants you to sit around lazy, risk your psychic health by doing nothing that your brain needs to be active???? That is not faith. If you want to give all your life to Jesus go to a monastery, but also there you will have to WORK besides prayer.... and also there your brain will need to be in a condition able to concentrate on joy and work.

    Stop doing nothing. Instead do everything. Joyfull and working. Work-Life-Balance. And pray morning and evening and in free time. Start exploring hobbies/activites that make joy. Like sport, walking.... art: like painting or digital art, education: like languages and christian movies...documentations, science, science is great and was given to us by God for our joy and comfort.

    You will not be saved by doing nothing. Also learn to relax actively and passively. By doing nothing you are at risks to fall into temptations. Your psychic condiction will go downwards....

    Instead think of if this woman is nice and worth contact with her. Ask her questions about her interests, her soul, her belief, her activites..... learn her soul. Learn to understand her, to love her, to respect her, to do her something good. Learn in generall to DO something for YOURSELF AND OTHER PEOPLE.

    You can't be saved even if you work 24 hours a day. But to assume that you will be saved by doing nothing is the false conclusion! You have to love yourself and other people and do something GREAT, small or big, to please God ;)

    And do not touch a woman who is a temptation for you. This is a lack of respect and love. She does deserve another better attitude towards her. Everything you do to another human God will see, either if it is bad or good. It is lot more important than doing nothing or anything! You harmed this woman because you complimented her on her look as a stranger to her. This is soooo superficial Then you scared her that God is more important than her for you. Do you think that is nice to treat women like this? Jesus had respect towards women. He is God. And you not.....
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2020
  14. KisKatte

    KisKatte New Member

    57
    +30
    Germany
    Eastern Orthodox
    In Relationship
    What if Saint Nicholas would not pray for us sinners, but instead, would say to himself: They are all sinners, surely God wants me to ignore them, because God is more important to me than other human beings? Get the point?
     
  15. KisKatte

    KisKatte New Member

    57
    +30
    Germany
    Eastern Orthodox
    In Relationship
    What if I would give you wrong advices because God is important for me, but not you? This would be a strange thinking of God's love and grace, wouldn't it be?
     
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