will this cost me my reward???

[notalone32]

hiya...i recently tried to recommit my life to God...i was advised to start all over again as a "newbie" to the faith . i became in Christian in 2006 and was delivered of many things including serious mental illness and abuse ande a lot of bitterness.....for the first time in my life i was able to accept maybe God loved me although i never got able to quit efeel safe in His presence....i was abused by a religious parent so spent my youth hating God....

a few months after i was saved i faced some difficulties agin with the abusive parent (long story) and a lot of doubts crept in again..but stil i belived i was on right path and clung on to Jesus majorly..bitterness and ill health were creeping in but i tried hard to fight them..i attempted to make Jesus Lord of every area of my life.....

then my doubts started to detsroy me...i was working through healing freom the abuse and working out how to relate to others which left me very vulnerable....still oi kept making Jesus first in my life....

in 2012 i moved at the age of 30 into my own place (being physically disabled had made it hard tyi find a place that was suitable) This helped me be free of my parents...but spiritually i began to spend less time with God...at first i think i was getting discouraged because it seeme3d that God wanted me to do some stuff that i couldnt do....

i got sick and voluntarily went for Paych treatment.. Dialectical Behaviour Therapy for Borderline personality disorder i know God didnt approve of me hsving it because of the New Age roots but i felt i had tried everything so i went for it.....

it helped me mentally but spiritually i had a great confloict...i knew i was in sin ande my fears about going to Hell came back....id alway sstruggled with fears that i cant truly be saved. but now because i was in sin they came back.....welli finishe dthe course of therapy, repented, and renounced what id learned....i made an effort to live for Him...

but im struggling in other ways now....i feel panicky when i try and pray \(been fdeeling like this since 2007) but nowi couldnt pray at all...i keep asking prophets to give me words on whether im really saved...if i do get good words i doubt them.....

then i was told by a prophet i had lost my salvation and had a Jezebel spirit and unless i repented i would burn in Hell....she told me she couldnt deliver me from the spirit herself....

well i kjept tryiung to repent and not manipulate or control people (this was difficulkt as it wasnt conscious behaviour anyway, but i tried)..

now i cannot pray for long without panic read my Bible i want to be saved and know Jesus so badly but i dont know how i am tormented witgh fear that im really a goat....i feel afraid of Judgement and Jesus coming back....


i been tormented witgh belief God angry with me and unless i get my life on track and start praying again i will go to Hell.....i know salvation isnt ablout what we do and when i lived by Grace teachings and Once Saved aLways Saved my spiritual life blossomed now i doubt Grace teachings and feel i shouldnt be following them....so im left with a coldness anger and fear towards God that i had before my conversion....it scares me...

another friend had a word for me that i didnt really know Jesus. she asked God if i knew Jesus and He told her no...

i am someone who has sin in her life - i have an eating disorder- gluttony or binge eating, whatever you call it and im a compulsive liar- i lie to avoid rejection- and although i havce confesed my sins to God and tried to repent i have been unable to make restitution to people ive lied to..i hopenot making restitution wont keep me out of Heaven......

so i made a decision...to go back to the basic Grace teachings that say if you belong to Jesus then as long as you try your best to live fir Him you will stay saved no matter how many mistakes you make....thats my decision.....

 

[AGTG]

First and foremost, please know that Jesus is full of compassion for you.

Matt 9:36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were bewildered and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

Secondarily, He also warned us about false prophets:

Matt 7:15 “Watch out for false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are voracious wolves.

Now I say this as one who believes in the moving of the Spiritual gifts, and also as one who understands that "once saved always saved" is not Biblical.

The apprehension you are experiencing when you try to go into prayer is from the enemy, not God. We can go "boldly" to Father God's throne of grace to receive mercy and enabling power in our time of need:

Heb 4:16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Like most Christians, you are in need of deliverance ministry. This will involve the breaking of off family curses in your bloodline, the healing of old wounds in your spirit and soul, and the removal of ungodly beliefs that do not line up with God's truth. When these three things are taken care of, the demonic oppression that's attacking your faith will be driven out of you.

Get plugged into a healthy pentecostal church, and don't take "words" from "prophets" with such weight. We hang our faith and hope on God's promises in the Bible, not the words of man.

Prophetic ministry should encourage and build the faith of others in the Body. Many people want to bludgeon others with a lot of condemnation and accusation. But that's not Father God's heart in these things. He knows your weakness, and He wants to make you strong. And He will.

Get into a healthy church that has deliverance ministry available and walk out your faith simply. Devote time every day to prayer, study of the Word, and encouraging others in the Lord. Don't focus on what you can't do, focus on what God can, and will do, in you. He is mighty!

 

[notalone32]

Bless you. Thanks so much. I will try and do what I can to find a church that does deliverance ministry near where I live. Bless you so much

 

[1watchman]

Did I miss something? I did not see anything in the original post about salvation in the Lord Jesus Christ ---only thoughts about believing there is a god. Believing in God, reading the Bible, going to church services, etc. is not salvation ---see John 14. That is where one can find God's blessings.

 

[joey_downunder]

Agree with 1watchman. Faith in Jesus Christ will save ALL who believe in HIM. No loopholes, fine print or conditions e.g. once Christian has sinned X number of sins, then no more chances for them, they're on their own .

http://www.sermonaudio.com/search.asp?currsection=sermonstopic&keyworddesc=Gospel&keyword=gospel
Recommend after listening to enough "gospel" sermons to believe with your heart -not just your mind -that the Gospel applies to you TOO, recommend www.sermonaudio.com John 3:16, Romans 8:1, Ephesians 2:8-10, 1 John 1:9.

For last verse, you make sure you look for sermons which focus on the second half especially OK?

 

[notalone32]

Thank you both. I really do believe in Him and want to be His child

 

[Albion]

Stay away from the self-described "prophets" and join a reputable church that doesn't specialize in mind control, guilt-tripping itd members, or any other cultic practices.

hiya...i recently tried to recommit my life to God...i was advised to start all over again as a "newbie" to the faith . i became in Christian in 2006 and was delivered of many things including serious mental illness and abuse ande a lot of bitterness.....for the first time in my life i was able to accept maybe God loved me although i never got able to quit efeel safe in His presence....i was abused by a religious parent so spent my youth hating God....

a few months after i was saved i faced some difficulties agin with the abusive parent (long story) and a lot of doubts crept in again..but stil i belived i was on right path and clung on to Jesus majorly..bitterness and ill health were creeping in but i tried hard to fight them..i attempted to make Jesus Lord of every area of my life.....

then my doubts started to detsroy me...i was working through healing freom the abuse and working out how to relate to others which left me very vulnerable....still oi kept making Jesus first in my life....

in 2012 i moved at the age of 30 into my own place (being physically disabled had made it hard tyi find a place that was suitable) This helped me be free of my parents...but spiritually i began to spend less time with God...at first i think i was getting discouraged because it seeme3d that God wanted me to do some stuff that i couldnt do....

i got sick and voluntarily went for Paych treatment.. Dialectical Behaviour Therapy for Borderline personality disorder i know God didnt approve of me hsving it because of the New Age roots but i felt i had tried everything so i went for it.....

it helped me mentally but spiritually i had a great confloict...i knew i was in sin ande my fears about going to Hell came back....id alway sstruggled with fears that i cant truly be saved. but now because i was in sin they came back.....welli finishe dthe course of therapy, repented, and renounced what id learned....i made an effort to live for Him...

but im struggling in other ways now....i feel panicky when i try and pray \(been fdeeling like this since 2007) but nowi couldnt pray at all...i keep asking prophets to give me words on whether im really saved...if i do get good words i doubt them.....

then i was told by a prophet i had lost my salvation and had a Jezebel spirit and unless i repented i would burn in Hell....she told me she couldnt deliver me from the spirit herself....

well i kjept tryiung to repent and not manipulate or control people (this was difficulkt as it wasnt conscious behaviour anyway, but i tried)..

now i cannot pray for long without panic read my Bible i want to be saved and know Jesus so badly but i dont know how i am tormented witgh fear that im really a goat....i feel afraid of Judgement and Jesus coming back....


i been tormented witgh belief God angry with me and unless i get my life on track and start praying again i will go to Hell.....i know salvation isnt ablout what we do and when i lived by Grace teachings and Once Saved aLways Saved my spiritual life blossomed now i doubt Grace teachings and feel i shouldnt be following them....so im left with a coldness anger and fear towards God that i had before my conversion....it scares me...

another friend had a word for me that i didnt really know Jesus. she asked God if i knew Jesus and He told her no...

i am someone who has sin in her life - i have an eating disorder- gluttony or binge eating, whatever you call it and im a compulsive liar- i lie to avoid rejection- and although i havce confesed my sins to God and tried to repent i have been unable to make restitution to people ive lied to..i hopenot making restitution wont keep me out of Heaven......

so i made a decision...to go back to the basic Grace teachings that say if you belong to Jesus then as long as you try your best to live fir Him you will stay saved no matter how many mistakes you make....thats my decision.....

 

[1watchman]

Albion is partly right, in saying one should watch out for apostates, and we even see them in some "reputable church" places perverting Bible truth. Just be sure you are seeking a Bible-only church group that places emphasis on Bible study and devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ. With the Lord Jesus as your Savior, best friend, and Lord of your life you can go on well. Look up always, and I will pray for you.

 

[notalone32]

I don't understand what Watchman1 said. I mean I believe in Him and I have tried to make Him my Lord and I believe in His blood saving my sin meaning I have positional righteousness and security in Him.
Isn't that the Gospel?

Now people been telling me have to do MORE than the above? What about having a guarantee of Eternal Life with Jesus? Surely I have done all I need to get to Heaven?

 

[notalone32]

So by telling me that I've lost my salvation the church is being apostate? So that means I'm saved after all? Great best news ivheard all day

 

[notalone32]

The church I'm at now tell me that because I want to go heaven and I seek God then I must still be saved. Which sounds ok to me. I can't read Bible or pray for more than a few mins at a time because I'm very ill with depression and anxiety but I'm sure God must understand that?

I mean can I go to Heaven even if my depression means I have trouble praying pr reading the word?

 

[Albion]

I don't understand what Watchman1 said. I mean I believe in Him and I have tried to make Him my Lord and I believe in His blood saving my sin meaning I have positional righteousness and security in Him.
Isn't that the Gospel?

Yes.

Watchman has his own standards and he promotes them here to anyone who asks about where to find a local church that will serve their needs. The point I was making was not to direct you to a church that meets MY needs and beliefs but to warn you against the "prophets" and other "out of the mainstream" religious types. There are many, many reputable churches that don't engage in the kind of domination, manipulative, extra-Biblical themes you have run into.

I hope you find one of them, because I think this will help you get back on track. Of course, they differ--Lutheran, Baptist, Catholic, Methodist, Pentecostal, whatever it may be--so you need to spend some time studying what their doctrines and practices are, each of the possible choices.

 

[Albion]

The church I'm at now tell me that because I want to go heaven and I seek God then I must still be saved. Which sounds ok to me. I can't read Bible or pray for more than a few mins at a time because I'm very ill with depression and anxiety but I'm sure God must understand that?

I mean can I go to Heaven even if my depression means I have trouble praying pr reading the word?

'Being saved' means simply making a commitment to follow Christ as your Lord and Savior. If you are still searching or uncertain, you're not doomed, tho. You are just not there yet. So if the church you are referring to is telling you to DO something in particular, I'd be wary; but if they are saying only that knowing about Jesus and wanting to do good isn't sufficient, that's correct theology.

 

[Albion]

So by telling me that I've lost my salvation the church is being apostate? So that means I'm saved after all? Great best news ivheard all day

I wouldn't go that far, but this church does sound like some kind of "fringe" religious society. Aren't there others you could attend?

 

[notalone32]

But hang on. In February I said a sinners prayer and made a decision to commit to Him every day which I AM doing. I always try to obey the 10 commandments

Why do you think I haven't made a commitment to Jesus?

 

[notalone32]

And why is my church apostate because they believe that simply by believing in Jesus and trying to obey Him is enough? Surely they are correct about positional righeousness through believing in Jesus and accepting His sacrifice where does the Bible say that isn't enough? Why do I need to do more? I have learning difficulties and severe mental illness so how can go to college and study Theology? I can't even work

 

[notalone32]

I have given up the person I loved for Jesus sake. I've given up hobbies I've loved. Much of my money. And Jesus is saying that isn't enough? I believe in Him so why am I not yet saved? Surely all who believe are saved

 

[notalone32]

I still don't understand why I have to leave my church just because they think that Romans 10 is enough for salvation

Pleasae answer my question: why isn't accepting salvayion and believing in Him enough to be saved? If I am unsaved why do I try so herd to obey the 10 commandments? A non believer doesn't care about the ten commandments. I do so therefore I must be saved

 

[notalone32]

So then to make it clear. Are you saying that choosing to believe in Jesus as Lord and Saviour and trying to obey Him and repenting of my sin isn't enough to go to Heaven?

So what else do need to do then? Romans 14 is unhelpful because don't have choice what day I worship on or what food I eat

 

[notalone32]

So then I can't be saved. If it means I have to do MORE than a sinners prayers and accepting Jesus and repenting of my sin?

Those three aren't enough? But I can't do any more. Those 3 things are my only options