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Will lust ever go away?

livingword26

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After a lifetime of inappropriate contentography and sexual sin, I made my last fall (I hope) 2 years ago. Since then I have been free of any inappropriate contentography or immorral sexual acts. I have struggled intensly at times with my eyes and with lust in general. My wife, although hurt at my fall, became my accountability partner and my support for these 2 years. Recently she started going through something that she will not explain to me. She says she is grieving, I think about my fall and struggle with lust. She changed almost over night. I feel deserted and alone. I don't know if it is some kind of delayed reaction or a present feeling of hurt that I still struggle with lust. I cannot make it go away. It is destroying me and my marriage and I can't do anything about it. Please pray for us both.
 
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livingword26 said:
After a lifetime of inappropriate contentography and sexual sin, I made my last fall (I hope) 2 years ago. Since then I have been free of any inappropriate contentography or immorral sexual acts. I have struggled intensly at times with my eyes and with lust in general. My wife, although hurt at my fall, became my accountability partner and my support for these 2 years. Recently she started going through something that she will not explain to me. She says she is grieving, I think about my fall and struggle with lust. She changed almost over night. I feel deserted and alone. I don't know if it is some kind of delayed reaction or a present feeling of hurt that I still struggle with lust. I cannot make it go away. It is destroying me and my marriage and I can't do anything about it. Please pray for us both.

Hello to you and God Bless You.. I am sorry that the enemy was able to come in and cause this division between you and your wife. You ask, will lust ever go away? That is the flesh. The bible says in Romans ch 8 vs 1. There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the Flesh, but walk according to the spirit.
vs 5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.
vs 12 Therefore, brethren, we are debtors not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out,"Abba Father."

My dear friend, the flesh will always try to work against the Spirit. We are flesh, but if we walk in God's will for our lives, we allow the spirit to lead us. The devil goes around like a roaring lion, seeking who he may devour. You just trust God and ask Him to deliver you from this bondage. It can go away and it will with the help of our wonderful Savior, Jesus Christ. It will go away. You both are in my prayers..:prayer: :prayer:
 
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Just4Jesus

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livingword26 said:
After a lifetime of inappropriate contentography and sexual sin, I made my last fall (I hope) 2 years ago. Since then I have been free of any inappropriate contentography or immorral sexual acts. I have struggled intensly at times with my eyes and with lust in general. My wife, although hurt at my fall, became my accountability partner and my support for these 2 years. Recently she started going through something that she will not explain to me. She says she is grieving, I think about my fall and struggle with lust. She changed almost over night. I feel deserted and alone. I don't know if it is some kind of delayed reaction or a present feeling of hurt that I still struggle with lust. I cannot make it go away. It is destroying me and my marriage and I can't do anything about it. Please pray for us both.
sorry posted twice
 
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livingword26 said:
I cannot make it go away. It is destroying me and my marriage and I can't do anything about it. Please pray for us both.


You are absolutely correct, but there is someone who did something about it. He cried out to his father, "It is done" and by so said, Look your children can be free and will not longer be shackled by sin. When you are tempted, speak outloud and tell the devil - Look you have no authority here. I have repented and asked God for forgiveness and put this under the blood of Jesus.

inappropriate contentography is devestating to most women, particularly if they've born children and are no longer twenty one years old. It's hard to shake the feeling that you are a conveneince, second best and not really what your spouse wants. I don't know that men really "get" what that does to her heart ans spirit. One has to live with the fact that the one who swore to be faithful has lusted after others and has a headful of mental images of other women.

Continue to reach out to her. Perhaps after two years, it's time for you to start building her up in this area instead of vice versa? Two years is a very long time to deal with something so difficult.
 
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tapero

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livingword26 said:
After a lifetime of inappropriate contentography and sexual sin, I made my last fall (I hope) 2 years ago. Since then I have been free of any inappropriate contentography or immorral sexual acts. I have struggled intensly at times with my eyes and with lust in general. My wife, although hurt at my fall, became my accountability partner and my support for these 2 years. Recently she started going through something that she will not explain to me. She says she is grieving, I think about my fall and struggle with lust. She changed almost over night. I feel deserted and alone. I don't know if it is some kind of delayed reaction or a present feeling of hurt that I still struggle with lust. I cannot make it go away. It is destroying me and my marriage and I can't do anything about it. Please pray for us both.

Dear Lord, I pray for this couple that you would renew their relationship. I pray they would both remember they are new creations in Christ, and that every day your mercies are new. I pray that lust would rarely raise it's ugly head in this family, and when it does that it would be made obedient to Christ, by having the thought brought to you. I pray for the wife that she may forgive if she is holding something against; that she would just trust you for their lives. Thank you so much Lord. In Jesus name I pray. Amen
 
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livingword26 said:
After a lifetime of inappropriate contentography and sexual sin, I made my last fall (I hope) 2 years ago. Since then I have been free of any inappropriate contentography or immorral sexual acts. I have struggled intensly at times with my eyes and with lust in general. My wife, although hurt at my fall, became my accountability partner and my support for these 2 years. Recently she started going through something that she will not explain to me. She says she is grieving, I think about my fall and struggle with lust. She changed almost over night. I feel deserted and alone. I don't know if it is some kind of delayed reaction or a present feeling of hurt that I still struggle with lust. I cannot make it go away. It is destroying me and my marriage and I can't do anything about it. Please pray for us both.

MY DEAR BROTHER IN CHRIST,

i have no answers for you, but perhaps a couple of observations:
In my opinion, struggling with lust is a life-long process. i don't think it is ever COMPLETELY extinguished--except, of course, if the Lord chooses to accomplish that for us. Given that you have struggled against this sin for 2 plus years, and appear to have been largely successful, i would suggest that you continue the "good fight" with no misgivings, given that God expects and respects our struggles on behalf of righteousness. i am reminded of the "thorn" in Paul's flesh. Might i share a couple of quotes?:

" 'I was before a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and injurious; howbeit I obtained mercy, because I did it ignorantly in unbelief . . . Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief' (1 Timothy 1:13, 15). God's grace had saved him; God remembered his sins no more for ever; but never, never could he forget how terribly he had sinned. The more he rejoiced in God's salvation, and the more his experience of God's grace filled him with joy unspeakable, the clearer was his consciousness that he was a saved sinner, and that salvation had no meaning or sweetness except as the sense of his being a sinner made it precious and real to him. Never for a moment could he forget that it was a sinner God had taken up in His arms and crowned with His love."

"Lest Paul should exalt himself, by reason of the exceeding greatness of the revelations given him, a thorn in the flesh was sent him to keep him humble. Paul's first desire was to have it removed, and he besought the Lord thrice that it might depart. The answer came that the trial was a blessing; that, in the weakness and humiliation it brought, the grace and strength of the Lord could be the better manifested. Paul at once entered upon a new stage in his relation to the trial: instead of simply enduring it, he most gladly gloried in it. Instead of asking for deliverance, he took pleasure in it. He had learnt that the place of humiliation is the place of blessing, of power, of joy."


--from HUMILITY
by Andrew Murray
(A free download of the whole book is available at: http://www.worldinvisible.com/library/murray/5f00.0565/5f00.0565.c.htm

Perhaps the above fits in your case as it appears to in mine. i think it perhaps explains the linguring lust those of us who were once into inappropriate contentography, sinful sex, etc. continue to experience. JUST BE SURE TO REPENT AND ASK FORGIVENESS WHEN THE EYES AND MIND WANDER!

Regarding what your wife is going through--Do you have a Pastor or Christian Counselor you two can go to in order to work whatever is going on out? Often the feelings of grief your wife describes are in reaction to the start of menopause or the expectation thereof. i can't see it as a "delayed reaction" to your struggles as, being your accountability partner, she knows that your struggles have been mostly successful. However, if this is the case, your Pastor or Christian Counselor could perhaps help her work through the fact that you haven't been "cured" and that God has perhaps allowed the memories to persist--in a non-sinful form--to, like Paul's thorn, keep you humble in your walk before Him--and before your wife.
MAY GOD BLESS YOU BOTH, HEAL WHATEVER IS HAPPENING WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP, AND BLESS YOU FOR YOUR VALIENT STRUGGLE AGAINST THE ALLUREMENTS OF THE EVIL ONE!

MUCH LOVE TO BOTH OF YOU IN CHRIST,
ephraim
 
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Maby the inappropriate contentography ,lust won't go away. However you can try to 'reduce' it as much as possible, and i believe you have done that , and i think its wonderfull your managing, its hard tho. Anyway partners shouldn't have secrets for eachother, your wife has gone thru a lot, and i have a feeling it was more then she could bare. Therefore i think its time for you to spend quality time with your wife, do wonderfull things together, and communicate intensely with eachother to get to know what has been bothering her mind. I would do it quickly before you find out it might be something severe, and before its too late to fix. I think this is a time when your wife NEEDS you, and therefore that its important that you will be there for her at this moment for her struggles in life.
 
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Nachtjager

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It's man's nature to lust, I'm afraid most of us are wired up that way. If there's a man out there who hasn't struggled with inappropriate contentography, then I'd like to meet him, because I don't know any. A very dear relative of mine, who I always deemed as one of the most spiritual men I've known, a devoted husband, sunday school teacher, deacon, you name it, passed away about eight years ago. I went to help clean out his house for his elderly widow and, surprise, I found a stash of nudie magazines from the 1960's and a box full of old 8mm stag films! The vintage of the films and their location in the closest made it obvious that his wife had known about them and I assume they likely watched them together; I was shocked, but I felt better about my problems with this in the past. I stay away from it as much as possible, because as you know, it does weaken the spirit and definitely puts some space between ourselves and the Holy Spirit. I don't think it ever goes away though, it's just something a lot of us struggle with. As for your wife, I'd be surprised if a past problem with this is what's bothering her. Women are wonderfully complicated things (love ya'll gals!) and God never intended for mortal man to figure them out :scratch: (or vice versa). If she's shut down and gone underground from you, so to speak, look for something else and get that woman talking. It may take some doing, but open conversation will lead to the root of the problem. You have my prayers, :crossrc: trust in the Lord, and fight the good fight. You may not win all the battles, but it's winning the overall war that counts. Take care and God bless! :thumbsup:
 
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ElijahSK

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Let me start off by saying, stopping looking at inappropriate content is a step in the right direction. Ceasing from the sexual acts is also another good step to take. Now you're on that final step. You see Jesus says if you even look on a woman with lust it is sin. Let me preface what I am about to tell you by saying, you probably haven't experienced what I'm about to tell you because you must believe it before you experience it. Now let me encourage you. When you came to Christ your old man (flesh) was crucified with Christ that the body of sin might be destroyed. In that as Christ died once He died unto sin, and in that He lives, He lives unto God. Likewise, consider it to be so for you. Your flesh died once, and now you are living unto God for the rest of your life. He that is dead is freed from sin. A women can run naked across a semetary and none of the dead man will lust after her. Consider yourself to be as good as dead to all sin. Lust when it conceives brings forth sin. At the first thought, remind yourself you've died and now your life is hid with Christ. And sin will not have dominion over you any longer. The law of the Spirit of life in Jesus Christ will set you free from that law of sin and death reigning in your body. What you can't do because of the weakness of your flesh, Christ will accomplish by killing your body of flesh and raising you again in the likeness of His resurrection. Keep faith in what God says, believe Him when He says your dead. Hold hope till your end, that Christ is able to accomplish it and so it will be accomplished. Most of all keep love in sight, hopefully your wife will learn what forgiveness is, but until then let your renewed mind and heart prove to her she needs to forgive because God has already forgave and set you free. Let me reitterate. You are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, that is if the Spirit of God dwells in you. So don't make that new man sin, you're old man can't cause he is dead. Once you believe this, truly the struggle with sin is over. Your faith in our Lord Christ Jesus has overcome the world. Then every divers temptation that comes your way you can count all joy and overcome. Each time gaining more patience and getting closer to being perfect and complete. You will be blessed when you endure temptation, for when you are tried you will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.
You will consider your manifold temptations to be not worthy to be compared with the glory and honor you will receive for overcoming them at the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ.
 
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We all want good things to happen in our lives but too often we want it now...not later. And when it doesn't happen that way, we are tempted to ask, "When, God, when?" Most of us need to grow in the area of trusting God instead of focusing on the when question. If you're missing joy and peace, you're not trusting in God. If your mind feels worn out all the time, you're not trusting God. The tendency to want to know about everything that's going on can be a detriment to your Christian walk. Sometimes knowing everything can be uncomfortable and can even hurt you. I spent a large part of my life impatient, frustrated, and disappointed because there were things I didn't know. God had to teach me to leave things alone to quit feeling that I needed to know everything. I finally learned to trust the One Who knows all things and to accept that some questions may never be answered. We prove that we trust God when we refuse to worry.
God wants us to live by discernment—revelation knowledge, not head knowledge. It's difficult to get discernment if you're always trying to figure out everything. But when you're willing to say, "God, I can't figure this out, so I'm going to trust You to give me revelation that will set me free," then you can be comfortable in spite of not knowing. Trusting God often requires not knowing how God is going to accomplish what needs to be done and not knowing when He will do it. We often say, God is never late, but generally He isn't early either. Why? Because He uses times of waiting to stretch our faith in Him, and to bring about change and growth in our lives.
WAIT WITH PATIENCE
We spend a lot of time in our lives waiting because change is a process. Many people want change in their lives, but they don't want to go through the waiting process. But the truth is, waiting is a given—we are going to wait. The question is are we going to wait the wrong or right way? If we wait the wrong way, we'll be miserable. But if we decide to wait God's way, we can become patient and enjoy the wait. It takes practice but as we let God help us in each situation, we develop patience, which is one of the most important Christian virtues. Patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22). Patience is developed only under trial, so we must not run from difficult situations. But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing (James 1:4). As we develop patience, the Bible says we finally feel completely satisfied lacking nothing. Even our relationship with God involves progressive changes. My relationship with God is so much different now than it was in the early days of my Christian experience. It is not nearly as emotionally exciting...and yet it is better. Every change I've gone through has made me more mature, solid, and well-grounded. We learn to trust God by going through many experiences that require trust. By seeing God's faithfulness over and over, we let go of trusting ourselves, and gradually we place our trust in Him. Looking at it like this, it is easy to see how timing plays an important part in learning to trust God. If He did everything we asked for immediately, we would never grow and develop. Timing and trust work side by side.
ACCEPT GOD"S TIMING
God gives us hopes and dreams for certain things to happen in our lives, but He doesn't always allow us to see the exact timing of His plan. Although frustrating, not knowing the exact timing is often what keeps us in the program. There are times when we might give up if we knew how long it was going to take, but when we accept God's timing, we can learn to live in hope and enjoy our lives while God is working on our problems. We know that God's plan for our lives is good, and when we trust ourselves to Him, we can experience total peace and happiness. The book of Genesis tells the story of Joseph, who waited many years for the fulfillment of the dream God had given him. He was falsely accused and imprisoned before the time came for him to do what God had shown him he was to do. Exodus 13:17, 18 tells us that God led the Israelites the longer, harder way on their journey to the Promised Land because He knew they were not yet ready to go in. There had to be time for their training, and they had to go through some very trying situations. They wasted a lot of time wondering about God's timing, but God never failed to take care of them and show them what He wanted them to do. The same is true in our lives. It was many years after I received my call from God in February of 1976 before I finally began to see major fulfillment of what God had called me to do. God's training period simply requires us to do what He tells us to do when He tells us to do it...without questioning or trying to figure out everything.
LEARN TO RELY ON GOD
Proverbs 16:9 says, A man's mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure. Proverbs 20:24 says, Man's steps are ordered by the Lord. How then can a man understand his way? When God directs our paths, He sometimes leads us in ways that don't make sense to us so we're not always going to understand everything. If we try to reason out everything, we will experience struggle, confusion, and misery. But there is a better way. Proverbs 3:5,6 says, Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. This sounds so simple, yet too many people make the mistake of trying to figure out everything themselves. Most of us have spent our lives trying to take care of ourselves, but when we accept Christ as our Savior, we must learn to trust our lives to His care. When we do, we can say with the psalmist, ...I trusted in, relied on, and was confident in You, O Lord; I said, You are my God. My times are in Your hands...(Psalm 31:14,15). First Peter 5:5 tells us that ...God sets Himself against the proud (the insolent, the overbearing, the disdainful, the presumptuous, the boastful) [and He opposes, frustrates, and defeats them], but gives grace (favor, blessing) to the humble. Anyone who thinks they're a self-made man or woman has a rude awakening coming because Jesus said, ...apart from Me [cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing (John 15:5). Humility is a covering that draws the help of God into our lives to protect us. When we humble ourselves, saying, "God, I don't know what to do, but I'm trusting You," God gets in gear to help us. God won't allow us to succeed at anything unless we're leaning and relying on Him. But when we humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God, in due time He will exalt us (see 1 Peter 5:6). "Due time" is God's time when God knows we're ready, not when we think we're ready. The sooner we understand and accept that, the sooner God can work His plan in our lives.
FROM SEEDTIME TO HARVEST
Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us: To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven. This let's us know that we all don't live in the same season at the same time. You should never be jealous of someone who is enjoying harvest while you're still in the planting season. Remember, they had to go through a season of planting just as you are. Seeing the results they are enjoying should be an encouragement to you. Understand and trust that God is doing the very best for you in your present season. Seedtime represents learning the will of God. Each time I choose God's will instead of my own, I'm planting a good seed that will eventually bring a harvest in my life. If you want to be victorious, you cannot afford to get pulled into the world's system, doing what you feel like doing. James 1:21 tells us what we should do: ...get rid of all uncleanness and the rampant outgrowth of wickedness, and in a humble (gentle, modest) spirit receive and welcome the Word which implanted and rooted [in your hearts] contains the power to save your souls.
Your soul is your mind, your will, and your emotions, and when the Word gets in there and gets rooted and begins to change your mind, it begins to heal your emotions and turn your will away from self-will to doing the will of God. Living out of one's own soul is equivalent to staying in the wilderness. When my flesh is finally crucified and I get out of my soul and into doing the will of God, that's when I enter the promised land. The promised land is knowing who you are in Christ, knowing how to fellowship with Him, enjoying His presence, and having peace, contentment, and joy. Between seedtime and harvest comes a time of waiting. After a seed is planted, the heat, moisture, and pressure of the ground finally cause the outer hull to crack open. Then roots shoot down, digging their way through the ground. It takes time for this to happen and it takes place underground. Above the ground, you can't tell anything is happening. That's the way our lives are. After we plant seeds of obedience, we feel like nothing is happening, but all kinds of things are happening inside where we can't see. And like the seed that finally bursts through the ground with a beautiful green shoot, our seeds of obedience finally break forth into a beautiful manifestation of God in our lives. When harvest time comes, the desires of your heart begin to manifest-bondages fall off you and you see your dreams come to pass. You see your kids changing and your family getting saved. Prosperity, favor, promotion, honor, and all kinds of good things come out in the open where they can be seen. In harvest time, more than ever before, you hear from God, you enjoy His presence, and you're led by the Spirit. Blessings begin to chase you down the street, and joy and calm delight become your normal mood. Are you tired of waiting for harvest time in your life? Are you frustrated...crying out, "When, God, when?" Then you need to understand that God's timing is often a mystery. He doesn't do things on our timetable. Yet His Word promises that He will not be late, not one single day. But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day! (Habakkuk 2:3 TLB). God causes things to happen at exactly the right time! Your job is not to figure out when but to make up your mind that you won't give up until you cross the finish line and are living in the radical, outrageous blessings of God! The more you trust Jesus and keep your eyes focused on Him, the more life you'll have. Trusting God brings life. Believing brings rest. So stop trying to figure out everything, and let God be God in your life.
 
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Amin

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Hi,
Prayed for you already.
I"m not sure if we can forget something once it's been implanted in our minds or not.
I know we can learn to live without it thru discipline and prayer. It doesn't become as posessive of our thoughts.
I think there should be no secrets between you and your wife. Open honesty is always the best policy.:pray:
 
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FallingWaters

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After a lifetime of inappropriate contentography and sexual sin, I made my last fall (I hope) 2 years ago. Since then I have been free of any inappropriate contentography or immorral sexual acts. I have struggled intensly at times with my eyes and with lust in general. My wife, although hurt at my fall, became my accountability partner and my support for these 2 years. Recently she started going through something that she will not explain to me. She says she is grieving, I think about my fall and struggle with lust. She changed almost over night. I feel deserted and alone. I don't know if it is some kind of delayed reaction or a present feeling of hurt that I still struggle with lust. I cannot make it go away. It is destroying me and my marriage and I can't do anything about it. Please pray for us both.
Are you saying your lustful thoughts and feelings have returned after being gone for 2 years?
I was wondering why your wife was your accountability partner.
I would have thought a godly man would have been a better choice.
Perhaps your wife has crumbled under the weight of it.

It seems like a godly or wise counselor would be helpful with this. Do you have one?

The thing that popped into my head is this.
You're feeling deserted or abandoned.
Having feelings of abandonment are one of the reasons people seek to comfort themselves with earthly pleasures- sex being one of them.
You need to find a godly way of dealing with your bad feelings.

I hope and pray that God would show you both what are the right things to do.
 
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Romanseight2005

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i have had some of the complications as does the above, lust,inappropriate content,ect yah my mind wonder. so i must repent and as for fogivness and after that what keeps me away from what i dont want. any suggestions
There are threads in the mens corner that can probably help you. I also recommend Setting Captives Free. It is a website with free online courses that are biblical and deal with various addictions, and specifically inappropriate content.
 
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BigToe

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If this is harming your marriage, it might be worthwhile for you and your wife to find someone to talk to, a minister or therapist or someone. Outside parties can help us see ourselves when it can be hard to just look for ourselves, it's sort of like they hold up a mirror for us.
 
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2401 Penitent Tangent

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Talk to your wife and ask her what is wrong. She is your wife and open communication between you two is always good. In the future, it would be useful to have a time set up where you just talk to each other about your life and struggles especially since you are having troubles with purity.

I am struggling with purity too, and in fact, just came back to the Lord after a long period of sin. I can tell u from the other side that giving in to the devils temptations is not worth it. Remember, as a Christian, you are never alone. Your Lord and your fellowship are always with you, so rejoice brother, and do not fear or feel alone for the Lord is always there.
 
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