• Welcome to Christian Forums
  1. Welcome to Christian Forums, a forum to discuss Christianity in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

  2. The forums in the Christian Congregations category are now open only to Christian members. Please review our current Faith Groups list for information on which faith groups are considered to be Christian faiths. Christian members please remember to read the Statement of Purpose threads for each forum within Christian Congregations before posting in the forum.
  3. Please note there is a new rule regarding the posting of videos. It reads, "Post a summary of the videos you post . An exception can be made for music videos.". Unless you are simply sharing music, please post a summary, or the gist, of the video you wish to share.
  4. There have been some changes in the Life Stages section involving the following forums: Roaring 20s, Terrific Thirties, Fabulous Forties, and Golden Eagles. They are changed to Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, and Golden Eagles will have a slight change.
  5. CF Staff, Angels and Ambassadors; ask that you join us in praying for the world in this difficult time, asking our Holy Father to stop the spread of the virus, and for healing of all affected.

Will I ever find someone?

Discussion in 'Singles (Only*)' started by DancingPenguins, Sep 29, 2020.

  1. DancingPenguins

    DancingPenguins New Member

    45
    +41
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    I’m already 30 years old and am not even dating. I finally got a job and graduated college only last year. I live in San Francisco and it is hard to find Christian men my age. When I was trying online dating I got a lot of likes but not many from Christian men. Of the Christians that did message me most of them were already divorced and or had kids. I only met two Christian men in person from online dating, one said he didn’t believe in marriage and the other one wouldn’t go on a second date that didn’t involve staying overnight with him somewhere. There were a few Christian men that weren’t just interested in sex but the conversations just ended. I swear I didn’t say anything weird.

    There was one cute guy that I messaged for several days but because I didn’t express immediate interest in moving to another state the conversation died. I couldn’t leave my job anytime soon I need at least two years of work experience before moving and I had literally just started working.

    At this point I want to move to another state too. I’m pretty sure I’ll move to Minnesota because that is where my sister is. I heard that Indiana is a nice place but I want to be near family. My plan is to get five To seven years of experience working and then moving out of California with my brother. We just don’t fit in here.

    But I’m frustrated because by then I’ll be almost 40. I’m not pretty now and I won’t be any better looking at 40. I gave up on online dating. I can’t even use christianmingle because someone else used my photo when I wasn’t even active on the website and got me banned. They won’t let me on unless I give them my drivers license but I don’t want that on the internet because of identity theft.

    I don’t want to have kids either because I don’t want to pass on my disability and also because Everyday is a massive struggle for me even without kids. I’m not looking for someone right now and by the time I start looking after moving out of state no one will want me. I feel so frustrated.
     
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) <><

    +6,225
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    "and by the time I start looking after moving out of state no one will want me."

    "I feel so frustrated."

    "I'm not pretty now."

    I picked out the above-quoted sentences you typed not to call you out but to encourage you to renew the spirit of your mind on them. they either are not true or things you need to turn on their heads and correct. you really sound as if you might have a sober and godly mind about things in your life. it's good to know our weaknesses and limitations too. but what it ultimately comes down to when pertaining to if you will find somebody is if you are going to carry on in faith or not. my exhortation to you is to continue to delight yourself in God. you know what He's promised you along with that positive command. who knows. you could find Mr. right sooner than you think. why not?
     
  3. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

    +6,504
    Non-Denom
    Single
    US-Republican
    The answer to that question for single people is always "maybe."
     
  4. DancingPenguins

    DancingPenguins New Member

    45
    +41
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    thanks yeah everyone tells me I’m too hard on myself. I’ve already decided to carry on in faith with or without a spouse.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  5. DancingPenguins

    DancingPenguins New Member

    45
    +41
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    true. I’m just thinking it will only get harder as time progresses. Everyone will already be married.
     
  6. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) <><

    +6,225
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Good for you. But I already knew that. The question isn't whether you are going to continue walking with the Lord if He does or doesn't provide you a spouse. That's obviously already been settled in your heart. I was referring to 1. discerning if it's God's will for you to have a husband. And 2. staying on course with that promise in your heart. Once you've gotten an answer to that first question, that's all that matters. sure, the world, your flesh, and the enemy will try to dissuade you from believing but without faith it's impossible to please Him. for he/she that comes to God must believe that He is and is a rewarder of those that earnestly seek Him.
     
  7. .Mikha'el.

    .Mikha'el. 7x13=28 Staff Member Supervisor Supporter

    +3,584
    Canada
    Messianic
    Single
    I can't advise you. Some people find someone easily, and others don't. That's just the way life is, as unfair as it can be sometimes. I will give you a few :hug::hug::hug:
     
  8. DancingPenguins

    DancingPenguins New Member

    45
    +41
    United States
    Christian
    Single

    I had a dream where I thought God might be talking to me. He asked me what I wanted. I said I just want to die and go to heaven. He told me I didn’t know what I was asking for that my family loved me very much. I asked about a couple of other things. I then said I wanted to find a husband. He then asked me how badly I wanted one. I said it changes with the day sometimes I really want one and other days I don’t care. He then said I’d be better off not getting married. There was more to the conversation but that is the relevant part. Most of the time I’m ok with being perpetually single but then I have days like today where I’m really emo about it
     
  9. Lost4words

    Lost4words Jesus I Trust In You Supporter

    +7,544
    United Kingdom
    Catholic
    Single
    Trust in Jesus. Let God's will be done.

    Enjoy your life with God at the heart of it.

    You never know, the next corner you turn could be the one with 'Mr right' coming the other way!

    God bless you
     
  10. DancingPenguins

    DancingPenguins New Member

    45
    +41
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    thanks for the hugs Mikha’el:)
     
  11. DancingPenguins

    DancingPenguins New Member

    45
    +41
    United States
    Christian
    Single

    Thanks and God bless you too
     
  12. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) <><

    +6,225
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    "then I have days like today where I'm really emo about it."

    LOL. Fair enough. God knows best.
     
  13. Bèlla

    Bèlla His will ❤️ my fate Supporter

    +9,347
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    The first qualities you should focus on outside of spiritual compatibility are:
    • Empathy and a demonstrated regard for disabled or vulnerable populations. You should discern if they've supported loved ones or volunteered with similar groups. If this is a permanent condition its paramount you meet someone who's up for the challenge and won't grow resentful if your health deteriorates down the road.

    • Someone who shares your stance on a childless relationship or is willing to adopt or use a surrogate if you opt to do so later on.
    Given the cost of living in California few are looking to move there. You need a prospect open to a long distance relationship who resides in an area you're willing to move to. If you secure the first two you may need to compromise on this one. But it's a small price to pay if you're happy.

    Meetings are an outgrowth of good conversation and viable compatibility. This should be covered in your discourse. If the goal is marriage, meeting someone who feels differently is pointless. Don't believe you'll change his mind. Find someone who desires the same.

    Men who use dating sites aren't looking for pen pals. They're vetting prospects. While conversations may continue its a mixed bag. Some do in the hope you'll have a change of heart. It's better to develop acquaintances outside of that setting. :)

    Yours in His Service,

    ~Bella
     
  14. DancingPenguins

    DancingPenguins New Member

    45
    +41
    United States
    Christian
    Single

    Yeah you’re right I had forgotten that my health could deteriorate. Maybe it’s better if I don’t marry for the sake of whoever i would potentially marry. Men that meet the first two conditions are probably busy saving the world and helping others or are monks or something. I had forgotten that they might have to act like caretakers if my meds stop working. It’s something I try not to think about. The cost of living here is terrible it is a part of the reason I want to move. Small condos easily go for 400k.
     
  15. Bèlla

    Bèlla His will ❤️ my fate Supporter

    +9,347
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    DP,

    You needn't take marriage off the table. :)

    But that doesn't dismiss the necessity of being practical. You want a companion who earnestly desires your and doesn't see you disability as an impediment or chore. They exist but you can miss them by focusing on the wrong things.

    What the majority are doing is immaterial. You only need one. Narrowing your focus is a must. Throwing darts on the wall leads to dashed hopes and hurt feelings. Quality matters most.

    Yours in His Service,

    ~Bella
     
  16. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

    +6,504
    Non-Denom
    Single
    US-Republican
    True. Some for better, some for worse. You don't know what it would be for you.
     
  17. DancingPenguins

    DancingPenguins New Member

    45
    +41
    United States
    Christian
    Single

    That’s true
     
  18. venksta

    venksta Jesus is humanity's most successful rebel.

    127
    +167
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    Hi DancingPenguins,

    Do you have a church you go to? That might be a better place to meet other singles. Especially if you can find a church which has a young adults ministry or bible study. The great thing about these, is you don't have to attend the specific church as a member. For instance, I attend a second church, which is much larger, and has a young adults group there, where all are welcome from any church.
     
  19. DancingPenguins

    DancingPenguins New Member

    45
    +41
    United States
    Christian
    Single

    I did start attending a church a couple of years ago with my parents. However it is a very small church and almost everyone there are grandparents. My mom told me that they said I should find a younger church. I took that as rejection and don’t want to go trying another church right now
     
  20. Bèlla

    Bèlla His will ❤️ my fate Supporter

    +9,347
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    DP,

    What do you believe they were rejecting?

    Yours in His Service,

    ~Bella
     
Loading...