Well I already accept the reality that I'll be needing divine help to get through life. It's hard enough to simply get up in the morning. Most people cannot imagine seeing the things I see every time I close my eyes. They wouldn't survive a minute of it without killing themselves. Combine that with the additional problems that life brings and the situation becomes completely unbearable when all hope is lost. However, I still don't trust God very much. It's not a matter of choice, that's just how it is. Maybe things will change a few years down the road but I don't know. I'll still be putting all my eggs in one basket. Fortunately, it's not easy to disprove God so I don't have to be forced to give up all hope.
I'd like to let you know that God is, that Jesus is in fact His Son, whom redeemed us from our sins, and yes Jesus also heals. I'd also like to let you know that God will reveal Himself to you. I have had a Dammascus road experience, I have seen the Lord in His Glory and yes if you look long you will go blind, at the same time He revealled His love to me, His Love is greater than our words are capable of saying, our words are to limited. God also Loves you with that love, you know how you see the world as evil and sinful, well without Jesus, God sees your sins.
If you want to hear from God, you are going to have to believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him, because without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6) Believe me I know that God is, I have had my Dammascus road experience, He has healed me, I have fellowship with Him. I am not telling you any of this to boast, simply telling you this that you can believe that God is. One time I desperatly needed to hear from God, I spent about 3 days in the most earnest of prayer, and the Lord spoke to me.
So please believe fully that He is, believe fully that Jesus paid the penalty in full for your sins, ask Jesus to forgive you and come into your heart, that you might see His love, and pray earnestly, He will answer you.
That suicide thought is from the devil, it is not from God, Jesus heals, He heals physically and He heals spiritually. Perhaps that is why He let me see His immense love when I was a child, and I pray you get to see it as well, to see His love. You are right the world is an evil place. I have a friend whos father commited suicide, well my friend commited suicide also, then 2 years later his brother commited suicide, that demon just hoped from one to the other, do you have family, do you have siblings, are they saved? I personally have two siblings that commited suicide, that creates a pain that
only God can fix, so think real hard about that, actually if you did something like that, then you have just put more evil and pain into the world.
Jesus can fix any problem that you have, but your going to have to go to Him in faith.
pm me if you'd like. I am praying for you, trust God.
