Wife makes more than me...
- Thread starter aaron3719
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makeitwork
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my husband is the bread winner even when i was working. i have no problem with this...i don't take advantage of our income, what's mine is his and what's his is mine.
when i did work outside the home i would pay for utility bills, vacations, and any birthdays, weddings, ect and his paycheck went towards the mortage and savings.
if your wife making more money is working for the two of you financially than the heck with everyone else.
when i did work outside the home i would pay for utility bills, vacations, and any birthdays, weddings, ect and his paycheck went towards the mortage and savings.
if your wife making more money is working for the two of you financially than the heck with everyone else.
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dallasapple
Well-Known Member
(((HUGS))))
Im a stay at home mom of 19 years ..I had contributed including I came into the marriage with lots of "funds" stuff I inherited and I had stocks..that "ran out" and I have been completely "non income contributing " for about 12 years now(out of 24)..Even though I worked hard and had actually contributed in fact was instrumental in my husband even havign a business(with money and labor he woudlnt have had it without me)..still once I had "no money or earned " no money" I began to feel the ...."your dependent" yoru "lesser" than vibe..to the point when I had to fill out "occupation " on a form I just wrote "free loader".
Whats really a joke is buying him a "present"..
You even say "its not liek I dont have a job"..I coudlnt even say that because raising children full tiem instead of wroking for pay AND comign home after that is the only way I coudl have said I have a "job" what I do it considered pure pampered luxury..So Im even "lower' than you ..Right NOT...
Try not to let them get to you ..not easy but at LEAST you earn money..Yoru WIFE has the right idea that all thats hers and all thats yors is both of ya'lls..everyone else can go STUFF IT!
((((HUGS))))
Dallas
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Thanks guys. Not every man can come home to a beautiful wife and dinner already cooked every single day. I need to let little stuff like this go. You're right, it's hard sometime especially when you're stressed out about something but I'll learn to pray and let go.
I will speak up next time and put them in their spot(in a nice way of course)
I was very angry at her nephew but felt it was out of my place to yell at him.
She was jokingly asking if she can get a haircut because we both understand that we have to communicate when it comes to our budget so she had no intention of hurting me.
FYI. We've been married 8 months.
I will speak up next time and put them in their spot(in a nice way of course)
I was very angry at her nephew but felt it was out of my place to yell at him.
She was jokingly asking if she can get a haircut because we both understand that we have to communicate when it comes to our budget so she had no intention of hurting me.
FYI. We've been married 8 months.
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Romanseight2005
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Ironically, even though I work, but make less than my husband, people still say things sometimes, when I mention that I need to talk to my husband first, about spending money. They act like you should never ever have to communicate with your spouse about spending money. I don't know, maybe if we were zillionaire's or something, but I think even then you could each spend too much if you didn't communicate, lol.
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- Jun 14, 2004
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We are by no measure rich or anything, but we have throughout my career seen steady increases in real income. The thing I have found to be true is that your spending (if not checked) will quickly come to match your income. I saw it with us, and I've seen it with friends. It's why even multi-millionaires one year can end up bankrupt the next.
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- Jun 23, 2011
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We don't make unilateral money decisions. If I need to spend money during the day, my wife knows it at dinner, and vice versa. If it's a major expenditure, we consult each other. Major being anything over $100 that's not a necessity. We pay all our credit cards in full every month, and only owe on our home and one car. It's so much simpler that way...
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SiyoNqoba
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Why do all these people know how much you earn? My family (and my husband's) don't know how much we earn. They know our earning potential, but not the actual figure. It may be a cultural thing, but it's considered rude where I live to ask how much someone earns. I know you can't erase their memories, but for the future, I just think not talking about it with everyone might help stop the comments.
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I can see why that would bother you. Eventually, you may move out of your 'wife's apartment'-- I'm assuming it was hers before marriage. That may do away with people calling it her apartment.
Why do her relatives know how much you make? Maybe you can get into a situation or line of work where people don't know how much you make. Or you could start a side business where people wouldn't be sure what your income is, and would feel stupid assuming your wife makes more than you. How much you make isn't your brother-in-law's business.
Some of the Christian financial adviser types on the radio suggest, if possible, trying to pay for basic living expenses off of the husband's salary and using the wife's salary for extra or for savings. It makes sense for a number of reasons if you can pull it off. You may have to adjust your standard of living to do this. A big advantage if you do this is if you have kids and the motherly instinct kicks in and your wife wants to be a SAHM, you have that option if you aren't dependent on her income.
You might also look into some kind of education or training or a side business to increase your own income so you can make enough to support everyone in the family.
Don't let anyone on here give you grief about your wife asking you if she can get her hair done. Since your wife's good looks benefit you more than anyone else, that makes a lot of sense. That's respect. Wives wouldn't like it if their husbands went out and just got their heads shaved or a tattoo without saying anything to their wives first.
Why do her relatives know how much you make? Maybe you can get into a situation or line of work where people don't know how much you make. Or you could start a side business where people wouldn't be sure what your income is, and would feel stupid assuming your wife makes more than you. How much you make isn't your brother-in-law's business.
Some of the Christian financial adviser types on the radio suggest, if possible, trying to pay for basic living expenses off of the husband's salary and using the wife's salary for extra or for savings. It makes sense for a number of reasons if you can pull it off. You may have to adjust your standard of living to do this. A big advantage if you do this is if you have kids and the motherly instinct kicks in and your wife wants to be a SAHM, you have that option if you aren't dependent on her income.
You might also look into some kind of education or training or a side business to increase your own income so you can make enough to support everyone in the family.
Don't let anyone on here give you grief about your wife asking you if she can get her hair done. Since your wife's good looks benefit you more than anyone else, that makes a lot of sense. That's respect. Wives wouldn't like it if their husbands went out and just got their heads shaved or a tattoo without saying anything to their wives first.
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re. the way your in-laws refer to your home, I think maybe you're being a bit over-sensitive about that. I've been married 8 years and my mother-in-law still refers to our home as DHs home. I pay the rent btw.
OTOH, I think the haircut comment was a bit uncalled for. In some families only one person keeps track of finance and budget, and the other will ask if it's ok to spend such and such - this is regardless of who is the main breadwinner. I know of several SAHMs who do the budget and their husbands ask them if it's ok to spend money.
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JaneFW
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Ah, so you are still newlyweds.
Congrats on your marriage. I wish you joy. At this point, I think you still have a lot of things to sort out, including interactions with in laws, but it sounds as though you are both on the right track, because you know to stick to a budget and check in with each other, and you have respect for her family - even though they are not showing you respect.
Please do talk to your wife about your feelings if you haven't already. For instance don't give a snappy comeback to a family member, without talking it over first. Being on the same page is so important, and it shows a united front to her family, and that will give them a definite message not to mess with you!
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LinkH - We moved into the Apt. at the same time right after marriage. I do have a website that brings in some income but not much.
Athene - The comment that her nephew made or her comment? I should correct him next time he says something like that.
Athene - The comment that her nephew made or her comment? I should correct him next time he says something like that.
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Romanseight2005
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You know what? It didn't even occur to me that his wife asking if she could get a haircut would be about anything other than spending money.
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You could also say stuff like, "You don't have any idea how much money I make from my job and my web business." when anyone makes a wise crack. They'll probably feel stupid for making the wise cracks and shut up eventually. Your wife would have to be on the same page. She'd have to be tight-lipped about finances to family.
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JaneFW
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That just sounds childish and like a challenge, and evidently they do know somehow, so it leaves them open to say "yeah, we do. You make $xxx" and that would probably make him feel even worse. Better to figure out with his wife - bearing in mind this is her family of birth - how best to tackle this issue. Or to let her handle it, because her handling it shows them that she is one with her husband, and that she will not let them be offensive to him.
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