My wife and I met in high school and have been together ever since for a total of about 11 years. We married out of high school. We have two kids together. We both smoked when we met. I have quit for almost seven years now. She has quit for 4.5 years. She has been saying for the past couple of months that she has wanted to smoke. I admitted of having the feeling from time to time, but understand that it's a natural thing for an ex smoker to want to do. She told me three days ago that she bought a pack. She told me she hadn't started, which I later confirmed yesterday by finding it unopened in her coat pocket.
I understand that addiction is dopamine related. She is not finding satisfaction with some aspect of her life. Smoking, she thinks, will fill that gap. I know there is an underlying cause, but she claims it's "just something she wants to do."
She is 29 years old. I expect her to be smart about this, and thought we were past this stage in our lives. She is trying to justify this left and right and is looking for a reason to start again. Obviously, if she thought it was alright, she would've sparked one up by now.
I don't want to start again, I don't want our children to be around it. I don't want to smell it every time I'm near her and am intimate with her. I don't want to taste it on her lips. I have already told her this will wedge a block between us whether either one of us likes it or not. It's going to have an effect. She claims she is an adult and she should be able to make her own decisions. She will unfortunately have to live with the consequences of those decisions. Not only that, she will be dragging her family into it as well. We will all have to deal with the consequences. I have the moral obligation to stand my ground on this as the head of my household. She has rampant heart disease in her family, as well as diabetes and Alzheimer's. As far as I'm concerned this will be her death wish.
Morbidity alert! - God ultimately has control over everything. But, all I can think about is in 15 years I will be by her bedside while she is in chemo. All of our finances drained away for hospital bills. She will pass on and I will be left heartbroken and have to live out the rest of my life lonely of my lifelong sweetheart, working til the day I get stuck in a nursing home and become a ward of the state. Everything I have sacrificed will be in vain because the state will seize it to pay for the nursing home I get stuck with; living the last years of my life staring at the wall with no visitors. - This is seriously a situation going on in my family right now. Every choice we make has consequences.
I thank God for God because I am so furious I am ready to kick her out. He is weighing on my conscience to not do that. He has laid out when that action is appropriate.
Can anyone give me some sound Christian advice on this situation? My anxiety is through the roof.
I understand that addiction is dopamine related. She is not finding satisfaction with some aspect of her life. Smoking, she thinks, will fill that gap. I know there is an underlying cause, but she claims it's "just something she wants to do."
She is 29 years old. I expect her to be smart about this, and thought we were past this stage in our lives. She is trying to justify this left and right and is looking for a reason to start again. Obviously, if she thought it was alright, she would've sparked one up by now.
I don't want to start again, I don't want our children to be around it. I don't want to smell it every time I'm near her and am intimate with her. I don't want to taste it on her lips. I have already told her this will wedge a block between us whether either one of us likes it or not. It's going to have an effect. She claims she is an adult and she should be able to make her own decisions. She will unfortunately have to live with the consequences of those decisions. Not only that, she will be dragging her family into it as well. We will all have to deal with the consequences. I have the moral obligation to stand my ground on this as the head of my household. She has rampant heart disease in her family, as well as diabetes and Alzheimer's. As far as I'm concerned this will be her death wish.
Morbidity alert! - God ultimately has control over everything. But, all I can think about is in 15 years I will be by her bedside while she is in chemo. All of our finances drained away for hospital bills. She will pass on and I will be left heartbroken and have to live out the rest of my life lonely of my lifelong sweetheart, working til the day I get stuck in a nursing home and become a ward of the state. Everything I have sacrificed will be in vain because the state will seize it to pay for the nursing home I get stuck with; living the last years of my life staring at the wall with no visitors. - This is seriously a situation going on in my family right now. Every choice we make has consequences.
I thank God for God because I am so furious I am ready to kick her out. He is weighing on my conscience to not do that. He has laid out when that action is appropriate.
Can anyone give me some sound Christian advice on this situation? My anxiety is through the roof.