Wierdest double standard

[EnemyPartyII]

I've come to notice a very odd double standard operating in the perceptions of people regarding homosexuality...

Why is it that when I ask why some people have a problem with homosexuality, one of the recurring themes is "I don't want to be hit on by someone of the same sex". In fact, I think it has always been a male saying "I don't want to be hit on by a guy", but it is possible there are some women out there who feel as strongly about being hit on by a woman. Sometime this is expressed in terms of utter disgust, or even violence, "if some guy hit on my, I'd smash him!", as though the violence is a perfectly reasonable response to what is, essentially, a compliment. We aren't talking about forcing yourself on an unwilling partner here, we're just talking about someone complimenting you on your eyes and asking you out on a date, right?

So why is it, that when I, a homosexual, am asked out by a straight guy, I don't feel the same desire to smash his face in? I've also known some homosexual men asked out by straight women, some incredibly directly, and they too, report no wish to beat anyone with a steel pipe. The most facinating thing, I have found, is that in forums and discussions such as those here, we can get such behaviour from the same person! In other threads, I have, within relatively few posts, seen people saying their automatic response to being hit on by a guy would be to stomp his face, and then, compliment my photo, and say I should try being hetero for a night, they'd be will ing to show me how its done.

So why is that? Why is it reasonable for a hetero hit on by a homosexual to get violent, rather than politely decline, yet homosexuals hit on by heterosexuals treat it like any other unwanted advance, usually by politely declining and forgetting about it.

Anyone?

 

[Zaac]

I've come to notice a very odd double standard operating in the perceptions of people regarding homosexuality...

Why is it that when I ask why some people have a problem with homosexuality, one of the recurring themes is "I don't want to be hit on by someone of the same sex". In fact, I think it has always been a male saying "I don't want to be hit on by a guy", but it is possible there are some women out there who feel as strongly about being hit on by a woman. Sometime this is expressed in terms of utter disgust, or even violence, "if some guy hit on my, I'd smash him!", as though the violence is a perfectly reasonable response to what is, essentially, a compliment. We aren't talking about forcing yourself on an unwilling partner here, we're just talking about someone complimenting you on your eyes and asking you out on a date, right?

So why is it, that when I, a homosexual, am asked out by a straight guy, I don't feel the same desire to smash his face in? I've also known some homosexual men asked out by straight women, some incredibly directly, and they too, report no wish to beat anyone with a steel pipe. The most facinating thing, I have found, is that in forums and discussions such as those here, we can get such behaviour from the same person! In other threads, I have, within relatively few posts, seen people saying their automatic response to being hit on by a guy would be to stomp his face, and then, compliment my photo, and say I should try being hetero for a night, they'd be will ing to show me how its done.

So why is that? Why is it reasonable for a hetero hit on by a homosexual to get violent, rather than politely decline, yet homosexuals hit on by heterosexuals treat it like any other unwanted advance, usually by politely declining and forgetting about it.

Anyone?

I was talking to my Sunday School class of 11th grade boys about this a few weeks ago. Somebody made a joke and I told them we don't do that in this class because you don't know who is struggling with something.

Somebody else made a comment about being a homophobe and just being uncomfortable around gay people because they didn't want the guys trying to hit on them. In unison two other folks went "ewww, that's gross."

I'm standing there thinking they have just really sidetracked my lesson, but apparently God needs them to be schooled in something else this morning.

For the "eww that's gross" crew, I challenged them to find anywhere in God's Word where He shows the sin of the homosexual to be worse or nastier than the sin of the heterosexual. I'm still waiting.

For the guy who didn't want gay guys attempting to hit on him, I asked him if he thought girls feel that way about him? Also told him to consider it a compliment that even guys can look at ya and know you look good. Just let them know you're not interested and go on about your business just like the girls do when they tell you they aren't interested.

I had to then explain to my dear sweet class that gay guys are just like straight guys. They aren't looking to jump every guy just like straight guys aren't looking to jump every girl.

Naturally, we took everything back to Scripture. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Phil. 2:3

None of us have any cause to think that someone is worse off than we are because of a particular sin.

I think you get this dynamic of folks thinking they are gonna get hit on by gay people because they know that's what they do as straight people.

 

[littlebird]

I think you mostly hear that from guys ...who are homophobic ...the "phobic" means afraid of ...when men are afraid it's fight or flight. I do think it's ironic that now adays the "new" gay type is body builder "built like a gay guy" maybe that will discourage gay bashing.

The only response ever called for is love ..Jesus calls us to love ...love isn't always just going along with someone ...sometimes it's telling them when you think they are off track ( but you better be willing to hear about how your off track too! )

 

[Texas Lynn]

I didn't answer the poll because it would depend on the specifics.

But we know as in the cases of people who murder gays the "gay panic" defense is employed sometimes by their defense attorneys (basically saying they reacted to an unwanted advance with murder because it sooo disturbing to them) and sometimes it works.

 

[EnemyPartyII]

"what to do when we make passes at you? Hate us? Show interest in us? Secretly have passions for us?"

False dichotomy. Politely declining and moving on (you know, the same way a heterosexual woman usually responds when taking a pass from a heterosexual man she is unattracted to does) is a perfectly valid response, is it not?

 

[FaithLikeARock]

In regards to the post, straight men feel that way because homosexual men are tied to femininity. And straight men feel very close to their masculinity. When other men hit on them, it can strike them as a dangerous jab towards their masculinity. Does it make it right? No. But there is a psychological perspective. Women have the same reason though it's less common since women are less connected with their femininity, especially in today's society when it's perfectly acceptable for a girl to be a "tomboy".

 

[dayhiker]

I think its wrong for a hetero person to get violent when getting a homo hit. I've got two in my life and one time I got to witness to the guy. The one being hit on should say I'm hetero and have no interest in what your offering. What's the big deal!

dayhiker

 

[Apollo Celestio]

I don't want to be hit on at all. I wouldn't react violently unless they start the violence. Chances are I'll never have to deal with it.

 

[STevensSA]

I think you mostly hear that from guys ...who are homophobic ...the "phobic" means afraid of ...when men are afraid it's fight or flight.

a bit of a sweeping generalization, is it not?

On a side note, does anyone else find this entire thread to be as ridiculous as I do? I mean, "when is violence an acceptable response?". with the limitations of the pole are you not weighting the results in the favor of your arguement? How about the option that "VIOLENCE IS NEVER AN ACCEPTABLE RESPONCE TO ANY SITUATION IMAGINABLE". As we look at our culture of violence I think we can find invest some time and effort looking at some more prevalent issues than the all important "sexual advance".

 

[Inviolable]

as though the violence is a perfectly reasonable response to what is, essentially, a compliment. We aren't talking about forcing yourself on an unwilling partner here, we're just talking about someone complimenting you on your eyes and asking you out on a date, right?

This entire post shows how ignorant homosexuals are or want to be.

It's not about anything other then trusting the state of mind a person is in.

If homosexuals can not understand how disturbing the act itself is then how can they understand that heterosexuals simply don't want any part of it?

And for the love of Pete. PLEASE DON'T DANCE AROUND THIS.

It is the ENTIRE issue, it is the answer to the overwhelmingly ignorant questions homosexuals ask over and over again.


IT'S NOT PREJUDICE, IT'S NOT DISCRIMINATION!

It's simply because homosexuals literally have no idea and refuse to acknowledge what is being said.

If you had no problems with what a pyromaniac was saying, would you invite him over for a bar b que?

It's the frame of mind heterosexuals believe homosexuals are in, nothing more.
Please please please be ignorant enough to tell me homosexuals are not mentally ill, because I am not even remotely talking about that.

All that will do is make my point.
Like not being married? Repeat something ignorant and it will stay that way.
Especially as overwhelmingly ignorant as what I ALWAYS see on these forums.

 

[EnemyPartyII]

Inviolable, you still havn't explained why there is any difference between being hit on by a person of the same orientation as you and someone of the opposite orientation than you.

If a guy hits on me, I'll politely decline. If a guy hits on another guy, whats the difference? I'd say the two experiences are utterly the same, yet I see no justification to violence. Can you please explain it to me?

 

[Inviolable]

Inviolable, you still havn't explained why there is any difference between being hit on by a person of the same orientation as you and someone of the opposite orientation than you.

Yes I have, you just can't get it. Or fail to understand it because you like the colors you see now.

If a guy hits on me, I'll politely decline. If a guy hits on another guy, whats the difference? I'd say the two experiences are utterly the same, yet I see no justification to violence. Can you please explain it to me?

I don't see any justification for violence either, but I do understand it and no..
I have explained it to you in the past and you will not respond to it.

I don't know why you wont respond, but you wont. So I wont waiste the time.

The posters who do and choose to understand have gotten the benefit from it that you will never get, that I meant to pass along.

 

[EnemyPartyII]

Yes I have, you just can't get it. Or fail to understand it because you like the colors you see now.

I don't see any justification for violence either, but I do understand it and no..
I have explained it to you in the past and you will not respond to it.

I don't know why you wont respond, but you wont. So I wont waiste the time.

The posters who do and choose to understand have gotten the benefit from it that you will never get, that I meant to pass along.

Humour me... if there is something you specifically want me to respond to, specify an actual question or comment in bold, and I promise I will respond directly.

Can't say fairer than that, can I?

 

[Inviolable]

Humour me... if there is something you specifically want me to respond to, specify an actual question or comment in bold, and I promise I will respond directly.

Can't say fairer than that, can I?

I will then, but let me say first before I say anything else.

You cant change it if you dont understand it and I honestly truly believe you don't want to understand it.

But here goes.

What about the sentence below don't you understand? "and I'm half expecting the common very drawn out answer from you."
Certainly expecting to be disappointed.

"If homosexuals can not understand how disturbing the act itself is then how can they understand that heterosexuals simply don't want any part of it?"

 

[EnemyPartyII]

If homosexuals can not understand how disturbing the act itself is then how can they understand that heterosexuals simply don't want any part of it?"

Trying to give you a direct honest answer...

Honestly, its impossible for a person to fully understand what anyone else is feeling.

But we can TRY to understand, and thats what I'm TRYING to do.

So, now I've tried to answer yours, will you try to answer mine?

"why is it OK for a heterosexual to hit on a homosexual, but utterly wrong for a homosexual to hit on a heterosexual? Shouldn't homosexuals find the prospect of heterosexual intimacy as disturning as a heterosexual finds homosexual intimacy? whats the difference?"

 

[Inviolable]

Trying to give you a direct honest answer...

I don't believe you. I believe out of the two of us I'm the only one honestly trying.

Honestly, its impossible for a person to fully understand what anyone else is feeling.

But we can TRY to understand, and thats what I'm TRYING to do.

But you can because we all share the same emotions.
We all love, hate, cry, laugh... Giving me this answer in my opinion is the exact same thing as a cop out.

"why is it OK for a heterosexual to hit on a homosexual, but utterly wrong for a homosexual to hit on a heterosexual? Shouldn't homosexuals find the prospect of heterosexual intimacy as disturning as a heterosexual finds homosexual intimacy? whats the difference?"

Are you talking about a heterosexual male hitting on a homosexual female?
Actually, I've had this conversation with you before in great detail and we got no where.

It's just frustrating and it's going to be long and drawn out because it's frustrating. I don't trust you to want to comprehend any of it.

I'm not going down that path again.

 

[EnemyPartyII]

Are you talking about a heterosexual male hitting on a homosexual female?

or a heterosexual female hitting on a homosexual male. Both happen, and in both cases, the homosexual doesn't seem terribly bothered by it.

I don't trust you to want to comprehend any of it.

Well, sorry. I don't know what else to tell you. I don't understand your position and I'm trying to understand it. If you don't believe me, well, don't then, I guess. Not much I can do about that.

 

[OllieFranz]

EPII--

I've been reading Inviolable's responses carefully, and I really believe that to him "gay panic" is not just a legal ploy after the fact to escape responsibility for violence.

I do believe that he is honestly panicked by the thought of some man coming on to him. He does not sound like the kind of person prone to violence, so his panic would probably manifest in some other way.

The reason he could not explain himself any better was because we were looking at his responses as merely an "ick factor" when he is genuinely panicked. And like most things that bring on panic, there is no reasonable or rational explanation why it triggers these panic attacks

-----

Inviolable --

I wonder if you will consider looking into finding someone with experience in desensitizing panic-prone people. Fortunately, your panic trigger is something you will probably not experience too often, but the chances of never experiencing it is very small. And it is possible that if you ignore it, it will spread and other innoccuous events will trigger a panic attack.

 

[Inviolable]

EPII--

I've been reading Inviolable's responses carefully, and I really believe that to him "gay panic" is not just a legal ploy after the fact to escape responsibility for violence.

I do believe that he is honestly panicked by the thought of some man coming on to him. He does not sound like the kind of person prone to violence, so his panic would probably manifest in some other way.

The reason he could not explain himself any better was because we were looking at his responses as merely an "ick factor" when he is genuinely panicked. And like most things that bring on panic, there is no reasonable or rational explanation why it triggers these panic attacks

-----

Inviolable --

I wonder if you will consider looking into finding someone with experience in desensitizing panic-prone people. Fortunately, your panic trigger is something you will probably not experience too often, but the chances of never experiencing it is very small. And it is possible that if you ignore it, it will spread and other innoccuous events will trigger a panic attack.

When you say "panic" what kind of panic are you talking about?

Where do you get this stuff?

Aren't you like a 50 year old gay dude? Shouldn't you understand plain English by now?

Let me ask you a question. If you were sitting on a park bench and a homeless man came and sat down next to you and then started arguing with Richard Nixon, what would your response be and why?

My reaction would be to move, because the guy is talking to himself and I'm not quite sure what he'd do next.

Now if a homeless guy sat down next to me and admired the view as I was I wouldn't move. Might even spark up a conversation with him.

I have the same exact responses to a homosexual.
If we're sitting there chatting all is fine. If he tells me my eyes are a lovely hazel color and my eyelashes accent the color. I'd "get up and move."

Now I'd imagine someone with a violent nature would react violently for the same reasons, I "got up and left."

This doesn't mean that I have worried about suffering a horrible homosexual related death. Hence, no homophobia.
It just means that there are times I don't trust the state of mind a homosexual is in. Any given time any given homosexual.

 

[OllieFranz]

And why would you "get up and move" if someone was talking about how the color of your shirt complemented the color of your eyes, when you would probably strike up a conversation with someone who said the color of the clouds at sunset complemented the color of the autumn trees? If not fear, then why? And if fear, on what rational basis? Fear without rational basis is panic. Especially when that fear causes you to change your behavior.

There is a rational basis in the case of the homeless man arguing with Nixon. There is a provable statistical correlation between being delusional in that sort of manner and unpredictable, often violent, outbursts.

But neither artistically inclined people nor gays have any more likelihood of turning out to be violent rapists than any other random person who might happen to sit down next to you.

Aren't you like a 50 year old gay dude?

While I am in my 50's, and have at times posted something to that effect, you are jumping to conclusions about the other.

Not everyone is gay who understands that gays are simply human beings like anyone else and who understands the "anti-gay" verses in the Bible to be talking about things that are sins whether the partner is the same sex or opposite sex -- things like rape, pagan religious practices, prostitution, sexual slavery, and adultery.

I have never discussed my orientation on these forums because it does not not affect the truth or error of my statements here. And as a life-long celibate (and yes, I am a virgin, to whatever extent that word can be applied to a male), it has hardly any more relevance to my offline life