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Why so much emphasis on the "unequally yoked" verse?

Discussion in 'Courting Couples' started by leftrightleftrightleft, Jul 6, 2010.

  1. leftrightleftrightleft

    leftrightleftrightleft Well-Known Member

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    Are there any other Christian reasons for not dating/marrying a non-Christian other than the "unequally yoked" verse? (2 Corinthians 6: 14-18)

    That's pretty much the only verse I ever hear quoted. It seems strange to have this one verse place so much emphasis on this subject when there are many verses in the Bible which do not get nearly as much emphasis and are swept under the rug like:

    "Whoever does any work on [the Sabbath] must be put to death." Exodus 35:2
    "If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death" Leviticus 20:9.

    I'm not saying this to offend, I'm genuinely curious.

    And I'm not even saying I disagree with not dating a non-Christian. I'm dating a Christian myself and love having God present in the relationship. I'm just wondering, why not sweep the unequally yoked verse under the rug and say its okay to marry non-Christians. I mean, after all, we don't kill people who work on the Sabbath, right?

    I also don't know if this is in the right forum...
     
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  2. Nienna_Lady_of_Tears

    Nienna_Lady_of_Tears Veteran

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    If you want other references, this is a carry over from the OT where the Jews were told not to intermarry with the other peoples around them. The prohibition there was not based on their race, but rather their religion. Rahab the Harlot professed belief in YHWH so she and her family were saved, and she ended up being one of the forerunners of Christ. Because of her faith, she was counted as an Israelite, not as a Canaanite.

    In the same way, we may marry those of other races, but not those who are outside of the faith.
     
  3. moreruthlessjezebel

    moreruthlessjezebel More Ruth & a mp; amp;

    57
    +2
    Pentecostal
    In Relationship
    When it comes to entering into new relationships, particularly one like marriage, being "equally yolked" in faith is excessively important, from a practical, Spiritual perspective.

    First, let's look at the context:

    2 Corinthians 6:14-18
    Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."
    "Therefore come out from them
    and be separate, says the Lord.
    Touch no unclean thing,
    and I will receive you."
    "I will be a Father to you,
    and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."


    All of your answer is right there. Marriage and relationships as a whole are about compromise - give and take. There are less important things that would break a couple apart, like having a television in the bedroom, who left the toilet seat down for the umpteenth time, spending time together and not -- going into a relationship where there is a dispute over gods (or even the lack of God) would be a very large mistake. "You shall have no other god's before me." is the first commandment - the 'before' could be replaced with 'besides'. Paul wrote this to the church of Corinth, Greece, surrounded by pagans - what place does another god have in the home of the Living God? How could you compromise your faith for flesh?

    Marriage is a covenant relationship - greater than any contract, it's a commitment before God to God. Choosing a spouse is the second most important decision you would make in your life, second to accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. When you are married before God, two become one flesh, your body no longer belongs to yourself. As one flesh, you've taken on their gods and a disbelief in the truth and the light.

    Now, for those who were married before converting or otherwise have an unbelieving spouse, we aren't to leave them but to show them the love of God through our roles as husband and wife. 1 Corinthians 7, if you're interested on knowing more about that.

    Personally, my relationship with God is more important than being married and giving an inch of my faith away to compromise with a spouse who'd despise it. Fortunately, I don't really have to worry about that, since we're both pretty devoted.

    And on the Sabbath...

    Matthew 12:9-14
    Going on from that place, he went into their synagogue, and a man with a shriveled hand was there. Looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, they asked him, "Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath?"
    He said to them, "If any of you has a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out? How much more valuable is a man than a sheep! Therefore it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath."
    Then he said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." So he stretched it out and it was completely restored, just as sound as the other. But the Pharisees went out and plotted how they might kill Jesus.

    Keep the Sabbath day holy. More than just getting a forty-five minute sermon then blazing out the door or standing around to gossip, get road rage on the way to your favorite restaurant, or well... doing a lot of different things could make it less holy... would be worse than working when you absolutely have to and keeping God at the foreground throughout the day - hey, you could even witness to coworkers if you feel so moved.
     
  4. leftrightleftrightleft

    leftrightleftrightleft Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the replies. Clears things up! :)
     
  5. Johnnz

    Johnnz Senior Veteran Supporter

    +890
    Christian
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    Interestingly, that passage is about religious syncretism, mixing Christian and pagan practices. It is not about marriage at all.

    But with our deepest beliefs and values so important for our relationship it makes a lot of sense to marry someone with a similar basis to their lives.

    John
    NZ
     
  6. Luther073082

    Luther073082 κύριε ἐλέησον χριστὲ ἐλέησον

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    If God is the most important thing in your life, how can you marry someone who doesn't even belive in the most important thing in your life?

    As a Christian, God should be the most important thing in your life, and then your spouse. Its very difficult to have a marriage where your spouse doesn't even believe in the most important thing in your life.

    Shoot I can tell you from a practical prospective its sometimes hard to have parents that arn't believers. My mother has found it very upsetting the importance I place on my faith. It upsets her that my faith is more important to me then her.

    Thats like an avid hunter marrying someone who think's hunting is evil.
     
  7. gzt

    gzt The age of the Earth is 4.54 ± 0.07 billion years

    +1,743
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Private
    I don't put much emphasis on the "unequally yoked" verse. But I still believe Christians ought not to marry non-Christians. In fact, in the Orthodox Church, it is impossible for a Christian to marry a non-Christian in the Church. If you look at the content of the wedding service, you will see why.
     
  8. mattybartholomew

    mattybartholomew Member

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    As to marrying/dating someone who is not a born again Christian (who is walking the walk), it is essential!

    IF you take your faith seriously and marry a non-believer, you are divided at your very core.

    Wouldn't you rather have God as the core of your relationship?

    And it's not enough for me that a girl goes to church on a regular basis either.

    Before I rededicated my life to Christ, I date many church going girls. Many of them are no different than club hopping chicks.
     
  9. Bootstrap

    Bootstrap Regular Member

    +187
    Anabaptist
    In Relationship
    If Jesus is the center of your life, and your spouse is pulling in a different direction, it's hard to find common ground where it matters the most.
     
  10. Light_Bearer

    Light_Bearer Searching For God

    25
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    1 Corinthians 7 : 12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

    so in my opinion i think it is great if you choose to marry an unbeliever infact God asked me to Find a wife that was an unbeliever so i could bring one of his children back to him.

    Peace and love
     
  11. Luther073082

    Luther073082 κύριε ἐλέησον χριστὲ ἐλέησον

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    If you let scripture interprete scripture you will understand this verse talks about someone who is converted after being married while their spouse remains unconverted.

    Basically if you get married and then convert, but your spouse doesn't. . . you should not divorce them unless they abandon you.

    Marrying an unbeliever is counter to scripture and God would not ask you to do something counter to scripture.

    The idea of dating or marrying to try to convert someone is a bad idea. You will not be united and of one flesh with someone who doesn't share the most important aspect of your life. And you should never marry or date someone with the idea that you are going to change them.

    Bringing the word to people can be done without forming a romantic relationship with them.
     
  12. janman345

    janman345 Active Member

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    People like to emphisize scripture that lines up with some agenda they might have, most of the time they have to take a scripture out of context or make it mean something it does not in order to accomplish this. These people usually thrive in drama and if everyone in the church is getting alone in peace they like to disrupt the unity and peace to gossip and nit pick. There are a hand full of gray area behaviors that they like to exploit (sex without a piece of paper although in a commited relationship, porn, rated R movies, having a few beers, generes of music, etc). Have not heard of too much regarding unequally yolked but that sounds like an easy one to brow beat someone with, of course that would mean you would be going to church by yourself and someone finds out your married but she does not beleive, of course being unequally yolked is not a sin its just not recommended.

    It is a daunting proposition for churchs to be involved with an individuals dating/relationship life because it will likely end in a loosing proposition where the church imposes so many restrictions on top of your own requirements that no one will ever measure up, just try finding a good christian virgin who agrees to be a freak in the sheets upon marriage, looks good and is avalible you will be waiting until you are dead unless you marry when you are 18 or something.
     
  13. Tangi

    Tangi Senior Contributor

    +4,067
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    US-Democrat
    Im have been dating an non-born-again guy for the past 5 months now. We are plnning on getting married eventually! He has no problem coming to church but He has just not given his life to Christ...it is a big deal to me yes, that i want us to have a better look at life ...through Christ but I also dont want to push him.

    Perhaps i need more advices.
     
  14. Luther073082

    Luther073082 κύριε ἐλέησον χριστὲ ἐλέησον

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    Can you explain further. Is he a non-Christian or not what you would define as a "born again Christian"?

    The reason I ask is I find A LOT of Christians who try to add on requirements on what someone needs to be a "real Christian" by using the terms such as "born again"

    It is not uncommon for people to belive that you must have a singular "conversion experience" in which you can point to in order to say that you became a Christian on that day.

    Others say that you have to have some sort of testimony or some other nonsense like that.

    Now as for if he's not a Christian. I would definatly not marry him and I think its a bad idea to date him. You can't date him or marry him expecting that he will change.
     
  15. Tangi

    Tangi Senior Contributor

    +4,067
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    He is Christian - Lutheran that is...i will marry him either really!
     
  16. PixieSunbelle

    PixieSunbelle formerly xladyfayre

    626
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    Because I know we're right for each other. I believe that much that he is the once for me. I don't think we have to believe the same things to come to practical decisions in our relationship. For example, we won't ever have conflicts over raising children because we're not having any.
    He may not believe in God but he respects the fact that I do.
     
  17. Melethiel

    Melethiel Miserere mei, Domine Supporter

    +829
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    Why theen do you say that he is not born again? Being born again is not a matter of some emotional conversion experience; rather, it is GOD accepting us for his own through the waters of baptism. If he believes in God, attends church on a regular basis, and tries to live his life for Christ, id say that's good evidence that he's born again.
     
  18. Luther073082

    Luther073082 κύριε ἐλέησον χριστὲ ἐλέησον

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    So will you be giving a portion of your income to the church? Because thats his money too and maybe being an unbeliver he doesn't want to give away his money to a group that he disagrees with?

    You are correct, however perhaps growing up in a nation where the primary church is Lutheran you probably are unaware of the beliefs of a lot of other Christian denominations.

    In the USA there are a lot of Christian denominations and the largest group is baptists. These denominations tend to see being "born again" as having some sort of emotional conversion experience. And in their mind you have to have that in order to be a true Christian.
     
  19. Melethiel

    Melethiel Miserere mei, Domine Supporter

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    Luther, I grew up in florida, and baptist. I'm quite aware of that ;) (and btw, ukraine is primarily Orthodox, although most of my extended family is either baptist or JW)
     
  20. Avniel

    Avniel Doing my part each day by being the best me

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    You know what though in the Bible times marriages were setup. There is no way 2 people that just met are equally yoked.
     
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