WHY is pre marital sex a sin?

[AmericanChristian91]

It's sin because it's based on selfishness with no commitment.

So are you saying all pre-martial sex is based on selfishness?

I would agree it would if your referring to one night stands (and other kinds of sex where there is little or lack of actual love between those doing it).

But sex between two people who have a long maintained a committed relationship (they do love each other, have not cheated, etc) but happen to not be married, could also be considered "pre-martial sex". But is it really right to say even in that context, this sex is happening just because of selfishness and no commitment?

 

[Rhamiel]

So are you saying all pre-martial sex is based on selfishness?

I would agree it would if your referring to one night stands (and other kinds of sex where there is little or lack of actual love between those doing it).

But sex between two people who have a long maintained a committed relationship (they do love each other, have not cheated, etc) but happen to not be married, could also be considered "pre-martial sex". But is it really right to say even in that context, this sex is happening just because of selfishness and no commitment?

I think the idea of a "committed sexual relationship" is kind of a myth

a "committed sexual relationship" is "marriage"
so if people want that without wanting to get married, it is not really honest on their part

I would not say that it is "just selfishness"
sex is something good and a lot of people are confused about the evils of pre-marital sex

 

[rockytopva]

Matthew 5:29
And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

Or at least take a cold shower!

 

[rockytopva]

Hebrews 12:15-17

15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

16 Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.

17 For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.

 

[Gnarwhal]

I think the idea of a "committed sexual relationship" is kind of a myth

a "committed sexual relationship" is "marriage"
so if people want that without wanting to get married, it is not really honest on their part

I would not say that it is "just selfishness"
sex is something good and a lot of people are confused about the evils of pre-marital sex

Well, to be fair he didn't really call it a "committed sexual relationship", but simply a "committed relationship". To me this implies the relationship has the depth and breadth of a marriage and it's not centered around sex. I've known people before who had objections to the institution of marriage but their relationship was just as good—and in some cases better—than most marriages I've seen.

That's not to say I agree with the aforementioned "objections", but I didn't question their commitment to each other any more than I would that of a couple in a healthy marriage.

I guess what I'm saying is what some would consider "pre-marital sex" could in fact be similar in every way to that what a married couple feel and experience.

Food for thought.

 

[Rhamiel]

Well, to be fair he didn't really call it a "committed sexual relationship", but simply a "committed relationship". To me this implies the relationship has the depth and breadth of a marriage and it's not centered around sex. I've known people before who had objections to the institution of marriage but their relationship was just as good—and in some cases better—than most marriages I've seen.

That's not to say I agree with the aforementioned "objections", but I didn't question their commitment to each other any more than I would that of a couple in a healthy marriage.

I guess what I'm saying is what some would consider "pre-marital sex" could in fact be similar in every way to that what a married couple feel and experience.

Food for thought.

I think that my its very nature, a relationship between two unmarried people will not be the same as the relationship between two married people

(for the sake of argument I am assuming all parties in both scenarios are Christians)

Marriage is a Sacrament, God gives His grace to married couples

and people are not really "committed" if they are not married
marriage IS the commitment

 

[Sayre]

Marriage is a Sacrament, God gives His grace to married couples

and people are not really "committed" if they are not married
marriage IS the commitment

Right - so if people commit, regardless of whether it is done formally or informally, in full view of their church, family and society, then I consider them married.

At what point does God give grace to those married? When is the sacrament applied? There was no ceremony for A&E, so when did they become married and thus blessed through that sacrament?

Blessings

 

[Rhamiel]

Right - so if people commit, regardless of whether it is done formally or informally, in full view of their church, family and society, then I consider them married.

At what point does God give grace to those married? When is the sacrament applied? There was no ceremony for A&E, so when did they become married and thus blessed through that sacrament?

Blessings

well I do not think Adam and Eve had a Sacramental Marriage, that was only after Christianity started
they had a natural marriage

I hate to make you go back, but my first comment on this thread, a few pages back, was a lot more in-depth

 

[Radagast]

Right - so if people commit, regardless of whether it is done formally or informally

An "informal commitment" is like an unsigned contract; it is no commitment at all. Both parties know the arrangement can be terminated at any time without penalty.

 

[Sayre]

An "informal commitment" is like an unsigned contract; it is no commitment at all. Both parties know the arrangement can be terminated at any time without penalty.

I don't agree - I've seen many couples live in a relationship their entire lives without marriage, and their commitment is very much real.

You don't need a piece of paper from the government to have commitment. You don't need to throw a morning tea at church either. You just need commitment, in public and in private.

 

[rockytopva]

13 Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.

14 And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power.

15 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.

16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.

17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.

18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. - 1 Cor 6

1 Corinthians 3:17
If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.

 

[Radagast]

I don't agree - I've seen many couples live in a relationship their entire lives without marriage, and their commitment is very much real.

You don't need a piece of paper from the government to have commitment. You don't need to throw a morning tea at church either. You just need commitment, in public and in private.

First, marriage is the institution set up by God in which sex is supposed to take place.

Second, a "private commitment" is not a commitment, just as an unsigned contract is not a contract. Making promises in front of witnesses is a commitment.

Third, why do you (a Catholic) reject Catholic teachings on this subject?

Fourth, you know very well what marriage in church involves. It is not about "a piece of paper from the government" or "a morning tea." I don't think you're being honest with yourself here.

 

[Sayre]

First, marriage is the institution set up by God in which sex is supposed to take place.

Second, a "private commitment" is not a commitment, just as an unsigned contract is not a contract. Making promises in front of witnesses is a commitment.

Third, why do you (a Catholic) reject Catholic teachings on this subject?

Fourth, you know very well what marriage in church involves. It is not about "a piece of paper from the government" or "a morning tea." I don't think you're being honest with yourself here.

Hi Radagast,

1 - agree, I'm just not sure it is a government approved marriage that God speaks of.

2 - I did mention that this commitment had to be public, so it would be in front of many witnesses.

3 & 4 - I feel liberty to question. It is the heart of being honest with myself. If I don't know why something is declared sinful, I ask why rather than shutting my lips and pretending all is well. I feel many couples, married in the eyes of the government, are divorced in the eyes of God and have foresaken their spouse. I take the reverse just as seriously.

God bless

 

[Gnarwhal]

well I do not think Adam and Eve had a Sacramental Marriage, that was only after Christianity started
they had a natural marriage

I hate to make you go back, but my first comment on this thread, a few pages back, was a lot more in-depth

Just for the sake of discussion, let's imagine a scenario similar to the TV show Lost. If I were stranded on an island and a woman and I got to know each other and then fell in love but there was no pastor/priest to perform a marriage ceremony, yet we expressed every commitment to each other that essentially summed up to a marriage, would we be married?

I'm just kind of curious how that would apply for people who don't have access to the sacrament in a literal, tangible sense.

 

[Messy]

I read that people in Israel can't have a civil marriage when they're not Jewish. Yet we can marry and most christians in Holland don't want to and search for excuses, except for the homosexuals. They want to marry.
Oh one thing, Paul tells them to marry, every man have his own wife to flee fornication and the excuse comes: yes, but what is marriage? Well Jesus was on a wedding, so it was not two people living together. They had a document and it was in public.

 

[Messy]

The guy I was dating said it's not a sin in the Torah and that sounded very good, hey, you don't have to control your flesh, we're going to marry anyway. Now it's: I don't want to marry, I just want to see you in the weekends, but we're married. Yeah sure, it sucks, I'm still praying he will convert and otherwise I can't ever see him again.

 

[Messy]

1968 Prophecy by 90 Year Old Woman in Norway
3. "There will be a moral disintegration that old Norway has never experienced the likes of. People will live together like married without being married. (I do not believe the concept ‘co-habitor’? existed in 1968 - E. Minos.) Much uncleanness before marriage, and much infidelity in marriage will become the natural (the common), and it will be justified from every angle. It will even enter Christian circles and we pet it - even sin against nature. Just before Jesus return there will be TV- programs like we have never experienced. (TV had just arrived in Norway in 1968. E. Minos)

 

[seeingeyes]

The guy I was dating said it's not a sin in the Torah and that sounded very good, hey, you don't have to control your flesh, we're going to marry anyway. Now it's: I don't want to marry, I just want to see you in the weekends, but we're married. Yeah sure, it sucks, I'm still praying he will convert and otherwise I can't ever see him again.

Anyone who claims that having a sexual relationship means "not having to control your flesh" is out of his damn mind.

Let him go, sister. The Lord has much better things in store than this.

God bless

 

[maco]

For those who believe that pre marital sex is a sin - can you please explain why?

I don't need verses claiming it is sinful - I want to know why it is sin. For example - is it sin because it harms someone in a very specific way? How is it inethical? Specifics required.

Actually, many people today have been led to believe that the wedding ceremony is the end all of the marriage covenant but this is not true. The biggest and most important part of consummating the marriage covenant is when the two become one in sexual intercourse. So technically when a person has a sexual relationship with one of the opposite sex they are actually becoming one so when you leave one partner for another you are actually getting a divorce each time.

 

[Optimax]

Hi Radagast,

1 - agree, I'm just not sure it is a government approved marriage that God speaks of.

2 - I did mention that this commitment had to be public, so it would be in front of many witnesses.

3 & 4 - I feel liberty to question. It is the heart of being honest with myself. If I don't know why something is declared sinful, I ask why rather than shutting my lips and pretending all is well. I feel many couples, married in the eyes of the government, are divorced in the eyes of God and have foresaken their spouse. I take the reverse just as seriously.

God bless

Sounds like your wanting the benefits without the real commitment that marriage brings.

Once married one can not just up and leave without the consequences.