I quit our church's Praise and Worship band after 3 1/2 years for one simple reason: I got sick and tired of dealing with egotistical worship leaders.
Yep, there is such a thing in this world. Plenty has been written about it too. Egos, young or old, have NO place in worship teams.
Shortly before my wife and I were married (we both had been divorced many years) we attend prenuptual counseling sessions with the pastor who was going to marry us. We both decided to attend her church as she had a long and wonderful history with her church. I was delighted to finally find a church home.
During the counseling sessions our pastor found out I was a semi-professional drummer with a day job but played drums on the side with several bands. I played begining in 6th grade - 12th grade plus a season with a drum line/marching band in college. Plus plenty of pickup and garage bands. I play rock, blues, r & b, country, jazz, classical, etc. I've played on several local CDs, etc.
He was delighted as the praise band needed a full-time drummer for Sunday morning worship services and he almost begged me to join the band. After some thought, I decided to volunteer (it wasn't a paid gig, I was donating my talents).
For almost 4 years I played in the P and W band and rarely missed a Sunday or rehearsal. When I did, it was usually a work or family event that I needt to tend to.
We had a great band and we got many compliments. I enjoyed playing with musicians who were better than I was. It's one of the ways you grow as a musician. More importantly, everyone worked well together to enhance the worship service and we all understood our roles. Our music wasn't the message. The sermon was the message.
Late last year, our wonderful worship leader took a job at another church and left a vacancy that we needed to fill.
Without the church or the band getting the opportunity to vote, we were presented with our new leader. Oh boy! Trouble almost from the very start. Arrogant, egotistical, demanding, a speech "his way or the highway", etc.
It didn't matter that most of the band members were much older and had years of experience over him. It was clearly * his * band and if you didn't agree with him, there were consequences....
After some rumblings and words of concern from other band members, twice a church elder pulled the band and audio team aside and told us to put OUR egos aside and give it a chance to work. Realistically I wasn't aware we HAD egos. I certainly didn't notice any egotism from the other band members or audio crew. Aparently, someone forgot to tell that to our new leader. In fact I was surprised he could fit his massive ego inside the sanctuary, to be honest.
After several "almost" clashes over style, song arrangement, technique, etc. I decided I'd had enough. Where once there was wonderful collaboration, improvisation and free flowing ideas under our old worship leader, under our new leader all that was gone. Like he said in his first rehearsal, it's "his way or the highway".
I came home from one rehearsal one evening totally mad. That next morning I woke still mad at the guy and decided right then and there to quit. Life is too short to deal with egotistical jerks. Playing music is supposed to be fun and enjoyable. Under the new leader, I wasn't having any fun, much less getting any enjoyment from it. I felt my creativity was stiffled and I was being micro-managed.
I told several church elders the real reason I was quitting and was asked to reconsider. I told them I had to quit immediately for fear of saying something or doing something I would later regret. Seriously.
This nonsense is the 2nd time something like this has happened to me while playing for a church. Years ago I was attending a church and playing in the praise band for 7 months. I auditioned and got the gig after seeing an advertisement for a church needing a drummer. It fit my situation perfectly. I was wanting to find a church to attend and play music. The worship leader who brought me on was a wonderful man who led from the piano. Very smart and kind and he was a genious when it came to music. Unfortunately his job required him to move. His replacement? A cocky, egotistical hippie dude left over from the 60's. All he knew was 60's rock and roll guitar and tried to pretend he knew praise and worship music and tried hard to pretend he knew how to lead a band. When he found out I had more education that he did, had a better job than he did, made more money than he did, had a wider musical background than he did, he petitioned the pastor to allow him to bring in his own drummer from another band. A friend of his. Apparently I intimidated him. Both he and the pastor didn't have the guts to tell me they were replacing me; they got another praise band member to tell me. And it was never told to me "why" I was being replaced. My friend and fellow bandmate who told me the bad news claimed he didn't know either. He was shocked himself. The "worship leader" and the pastor were too chicken to talk to me and tell me themselves, or even explain their reasoning. They got someone else to do their dirty work.
My story is not unique by any streach of the imagination. I have plenty of musician friends who have experienced the same thing. Some young, cocky, egotistical kid right out of school several years comes along and thinks he knows everything about everything and has the attitude to go along with it.
This will probably be the last church praise and worship band I play in, unless we move churches (can't see that happening), or our worship leader situation changes.
I'm in my 50's now and simply will not put up with egos of any kind anymore. Music or otherwise.
Cheers!
Yep, there is such a thing in this world. Plenty has been written about it too. Egos, young or old, have NO place in worship teams.
Shortly before my wife and I were married (we both had been divorced many years) we attend prenuptual counseling sessions with the pastor who was going to marry us. We both decided to attend her church as she had a long and wonderful history with her church. I was delighted to finally find a church home.
During the counseling sessions our pastor found out I was a semi-professional drummer with a day job but played drums on the side with several bands. I played begining in 6th grade - 12th grade plus a season with a drum line/marching band in college. Plus plenty of pickup and garage bands. I play rock, blues, r & b, country, jazz, classical, etc. I've played on several local CDs, etc.
He was delighted as the praise band needed a full-time drummer for Sunday morning worship services and he almost begged me to join the band. After some thought, I decided to volunteer (it wasn't a paid gig, I was donating my talents).
For almost 4 years I played in the P and W band and rarely missed a Sunday or rehearsal. When I did, it was usually a work or family event that I needt to tend to.
We had a great band and we got many compliments. I enjoyed playing with musicians who were better than I was. It's one of the ways you grow as a musician. More importantly, everyone worked well together to enhance the worship service and we all understood our roles. Our music wasn't the message. The sermon was the message.
Late last year, our wonderful worship leader took a job at another church and left a vacancy that we needed to fill.
Without the church or the band getting the opportunity to vote, we were presented with our new leader. Oh boy! Trouble almost from the very start. Arrogant, egotistical, demanding, a speech "his way or the highway", etc.
It didn't matter that most of the band members were much older and had years of experience over him. It was clearly * his * band and if you didn't agree with him, there were consequences....
After some rumblings and words of concern from other band members, twice a church elder pulled the band and audio team aside and told us to put OUR egos aside and give it a chance to work. Realistically I wasn't aware we HAD egos. I certainly didn't notice any egotism from the other band members or audio crew. Aparently, someone forgot to tell that to our new leader. In fact I was surprised he could fit his massive ego inside the sanctuary, to be honest.
After several "almost" clashes over style, song arrangement, technique, etc. I decided I'd had enough. Where once there was wonderful collaboration, improvisation and free flowing ideas under our old worship leader, under our new leader all that was gone. Like he said in his first rehearsal, it's "his way or the highway".
I came home from one rehearsal one evening totally mad. That next morning I woke still mad at the guy and decided right then and there to quit. Life is too short to deal with egotistical jerks. Playing music is supposed to be fun and enjoyable. Under the new leader, I wasn't having any fun, much less getting any enjoyment from it. I felt my creativity was stiffled and I was being micro-managed.
I told several church elders the real reason I was quitting and was asked to reconsider. I told them I had to quit immediately for fear of saying something or doing something I would later regret. Seriously.
This nonsense is the 2nd time something like this has happened to me while playing for a church. Years ago I was attending a church and playing in the praise band for 7 months. I auditioned and got the gig after seeing an advertisement for a church needing a drummer. It fit my situation perfectly. I was wanting to find a church to attend and play music. The worship leader who brought me on was a wonderful man who led from the piano. Very smart and kind and he was a genious when it came to music. Unfortunately his job required him to move. His replacement? A cocky, egotistical hippie dude left over from the 60's. All he knew was 60's rock and roll guitar and tried to pretend he knew praise and worship music and tried hard to pretend he knew how to lead a band. When he found out I had more education that he did, had a better job than he did, made more money than he did, had a wider musical background than he did, he petitioned the pastor to allow him to bring in his own drummer from another band. A friend of his. Apparently I intimidated him. Both he and the pastor didn't have the guts to tell me they were replacing me; they got another praise band member to tell me. And it was never told to me "why" I was being replaced. My friend and fellow bandmate who told me the bad news claimed he didn't know either. He was shocked himself. The "worship leader" and the pastor were too chicken to talk to me and tell me themselves, or even explain their reasoning. They got someone else to do their dirty work.
My story is not unique by any streach of the imagination. I have plenty of musician friends who have experienced the same thing. Some young, cocky, egotistical kid right out of school several years comes along and thinks he knows everything about everything and has the attitude to go along with it.
This will probably be the last church praise and worship band I play in, unless we move churches (can't see that happening), or our worship leader situation changes.
I'm in my 50's now and simply will not put up with egos of any kind anymore. Music or otherwise.
Cheers!
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