Why does it seem like God abandoned me?

[Is Antipas taken?97]

I hope this is the last time I ask these kinds of questions here, as I've not really contributed back anything, I just need help discerning my circumstances. Long story short, I was convicted to leave my school, I'm guessing it had something to do with idolatry but I was really against the idea, but the unction wouldn't leave and I got hit with depression (which I never experience nor have in my life till then), I was also hungry for God and decided eventually to quit despite everyone in my life discouraging me because I kept praying for confirmation and trying to reject it, every time I received it. But I cowered last second and asked the school to give me a gap year instead as a safety measure, incase I needed to go back, but I continued to get prodding to trust God and take a leap of faith so I fully commited to quitting, doing what at the time felt and looked like my life ruined.

I didn't expect a cakewalk after this, but I thought at the least once I got this idol out of the way I'd be free like what usually happens when I obey God, and I'd be able to get into deeper communion with him, and serve him more. That isn't really what happened, in fact looking back, whilst I didn't notice due to the depression and constant spiritual attacks, I see now Christ was living in me at the time, I was depressed but I still had joy, I wanted to serve God 24/7, when I prayed I'd usually get an answer, and I wanted and got joy out of giving and loving others. Now I'm practically dead, my faith is weak, I have no joy, and lack love for others. I don't understand this, why was God so clearly with me when I was having difficulty letting go and obeying him, essentially rebelling, but now that I went through with trusting him and taking a leap of faith I can't even tell if he hears me anymore, did I mishear and disobey him? I can't even sense things in my spirit anymore, its like I've gotten further rather than closer, though I cleared the road, so he could come through. I'm worried that I got tricked or discerned wrong, and don't know how to get back to where I was. I've prayed, I've tried obeying, and am continuing to seek, but I'm usually hit with episodes of exasperation where I barely pray. I feel very fake, and want a real relationship with christ, not just a thing where I pretend I have one. Sorry to mope, I just want to sort this problem out quickly.

 

[Sketcher]

God isn't always going to answer you quickly.
God isn't always going to make himself known through feelings or circumstances.
God still exists, and is still worthy of your devotion and service. He still rescued you from damnation. His his ways are still good, as are his instructions for how we are to live. And he still created the Earth, the Universe, and every created thing beyond.

Believing in that takes real faith. The circumstances and feelings that happen when we are new believers can be considered training wheels. Eventually, we need to grow up and really ride the bike without them. That takes the faith he is looking for. If you don't have that faith now, how would you have that faith when under real persecution?

 

[eleos1954]

I hope this is the last time I ask these kinds of questions here, as I've not really contributed back anything, I just need help discerning my circumstances. Long story short, I was convicted to leave my school, I'm guessing it had something to do with idolatry but I was really against the idea, but the unction wouldn't leave and I got hit with depression (which I never experience nor have in my life till then), I was also hungry for God and decided eventually to quit despite everyone in my life discouraging me because I kept praying for confirmation and trying to reject it, every time I received it. But I cowered last second and asked the school to give me a gap year instead as a safety measure, incase I needed to go back, but I continued to get prodding to trust God and take a leap of faith so I fully commited to quitting, doing what at the time felt and looked like my life ruined.

I didn't expect a cakewalk after this, but I thought at the least once I got this idol out of the way I'd be free like what usually happens when I obey God, and I'd be able to get into deeper communion with him, and serve him more. That isn't really what happened, in fact looking back, whilst I didn't notice due to the depression and constant spiritual attacks, I see now Christ was living in me at the time, I was depressed but I still had joy, I wanted to serve God 24/7, when I prayed I'd usually get an answer, and I wanted and got joy out of giving and loving others. Now I'm practically dead, my faith is weak, I have no joy, and lack love for others. I don't understand this, why was God so clearly with me when I was having difficulty letting go and obeying him, essentially rebelling, but now that I went through with trusting him and taking a leap of faith I can't even tell if he hears me anymore, did I mishear and disobey him? I can't even sense things in my spirit anymore, its like I've gotten further rather than closer, though I cleared the road, so he could come through. I'm worried that I got tricked or discerned wrong, and don't know how to get back to where I was. I've prayed, I've tried obeying, and am continuing to seek, but I'm usually hit with episodes of exasperation where I barely pray. I feel very fake, and want a real relationship with christ, not just a thing where I pretend I have one. Sorry to mope, I just want to sort this problem out quickly.

What did you decide to do, or what have you been doing since you dumped the school idea (instead of)?

 

[Pavel Mosko]

Sorry to mope, I just want to sort this problem out quickly.

What your describing is a classic case of "The Dark Night of the Soul".

 

[Is Antipas taken?97]

What did you decide to do, or what have you been doing since you dumped the school idea (instead of)?

I've been working basically

 

[FutureAndAHope]

I want to share with you some of my experience as a Christian, when I came back to the LORD I had a strong desire to hear from God, and I would spend a lot of my time trying to hear from Him. The fact was that a lot of the stuff I thought was God was not. We can get very strong feelings, that we think are God, but often they are not God. I don't know in your situation if what you heard was God or not. But what I want to do is share with you some scripture. The bible tells us:

Ecc 11:9-10 Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth. Walk in the ways of your heart and the sight of your eyes. But know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment. Remove vexation from your heart, and put away pain from your body, for youth and the dawn of life are vanity.

As a Christian, we should feel uninhibited, and free to make choices regarding the direction for our lives. God actually tells us in scripture to do that. If your heart is set on study, don't deny your heart. But just involve God in the process. If you still feel strongly that study is not for you, then maybe consider a different type of course, some courses just waste our time, and don't lead to work. But I would say don't hinder your future by ruling out study.

 

[Is Antipas taken?97]

What your describing is a classic case of "The Dark Night of the Soul".

This was very informative, I thought I'd already been through this before but seeing there's 3 forms maybe I'm not, I'll look into it with prayer to see if it's the case, thank you for the input, God bless

 

[Is Antipas taken?97]

God isn't always going to answer you quickly.
God isn't always going to make himself known through feelings or circumstances.
God still exists, and is still worthy of your devotion and service. He still rescued you from damnation. His his ways are still good, as are his instructions for how we are to live. And he still created the Earth, the Universe, and every created thing beyond.

Believing in that takes real faith. The circumstances and feelings that happen when we are new believers can be considered training wheels. Eventually, we need to grow up and really ride the bike without them. That takes the faith he is looking for. If you don't have that faith now, how would you have that faith when under real persecution?

I don't really hide I have weak faith, but if i have no communion with God I obviously can't develope a saving faith all on my own. I don't care about feelings I just want God...

 

[Sketcher]

I don't really hide I have weak faith, but if i have no communion with God I obviously can't develope a saving faith all on my own. I don't care about feelings I just want God...

Pray to God in the faith you have for greater faith. Recognize that he is there, and he is right, and ask to believe that more strongly also.

 

[Is Antipas taken?97]

I want to share with you some of my experience as a Christian, when I came back to the LORD I had a strong desire to hear from God, and I would spend a lot of my time trying to hear from Him. The fact was that a lot of the stuff I thought was God was not. We can get very strong feelings, that we think are God, but often they are not God. I don't know in your situation if what you heard was God or not. But what I want to do is share with you some scripture. The bible tells us:

Ecc 11:9-10 Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth. Walk in the ways of your heart and the sight of your eyes. But know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment. Remove vexation from your heart, and put away pain from your body, for youth and the dawn of life are vanity.

As a Christian, we should feel uninhibited, and free to make choices regarding the direction for our lives. God actually tells us in scripture to do that. If your heart is set on study, don't deny your heart. But just involve God in the process. If you still feel strongly that study is not for you, then maybe consider a different type of course, some courses just waste our time, and don't lead to work. But I would say don't hinder your future by ruling out study.

I already left, and have nothing else in life Is aspire to do, I've been given that verse before but always question if it means what I think

 

[eleos1954]

I've been working basically

well ... give it some time ... usually when the Lord shuts a door he opens a window ;o)

 

[Is Antipas taken?97]

well ... give it some time ... usually when the Lord shuts a door he opens a window ;o)

Its been about a year though, and whilst I thought I just needed to wait I've been falling back spiritually

 

[Willing-heart]

For me, the Sovereignty of God is the most comforting doctrine in the Scripture. Although I may be prone to wander and prone to stumble, I know that God is overruling, that God is the one who is in charge of all, that God is reconciling all things to himself, that God is working ceaselessly and purposefully in all areas of my lives to weave out a beautiful and magnificent tapestry. I know that before the throne of God above, I have a strong and perfect plea. I know that God’s mercy is so great that he looks beyond my weaknesses and He finds purest gold in miry clay.

Perhaps there is no greater book about pain, suffering, unfairness, and injustice than the book of Job. The book of Job is all about God not making sense to Job and everybody else. Job suffered like very few people ever suffered. But I want to submit to you that Job greatest pain was that God would not answer him for a long time. Throughout the book, Job looks up to heaven and asks, “Why?”

The sound of silence can be deafening. When God is silent, it is not because He is angry. I have learnt from the Word of God that there are several times when God is silent in our lives. When God is silent, it is probably because He is putting you through his practical training school. When God is silent, perhaps it is because He is trying to teach you something or some truth about yourself that you need to know in your relationship with Him. When God is silent, perhaps He wants to see how you can really trust His words and promises (not just when the sun is shining, but even when the rain is pouring). When God is silent, perhaps it is because He loves you so much, and that He wants you to rest confidently in His love. Sometimes, God waits until we become quiet, so He can speak or work on our behalf. And sometimes, we may never understand “Why” on this side of heaven.

Waiting on the Lord

 

[usexpat97]

I don't know more specifics of your situation, so all I can say is that I've been there, done that. In fact, that is where I waver the most: over whether God loves me or not. Of COURSE God exists. I have no struggle with that. I doubt whether He loves me. I had a short period where I knew I was going to Hell, and there was nothing I could do. So what do I do now? All I can say is, that period of doubt was short, and it came to an end. Not long after, He told me to move to another country, and He was with me every step of the way.

You would think that, even if you heard wrong, at least you were TRYING to follow God. Doesn't that count for something? I'm going through something similar right now, where I recently tithed, and what did God do? He took AWAY financial blessing. I tithed on Sunday, and that Monday I lose a key contract. And I don't doubt at all that God told us to tithe--and that He promised to bless us. It's right there in Scripture. Yet I get the opposite. What's up with that?

Frequently we like to rig the game so that God always wins. Like, "oh, that was just a blessing in disguise!" Oh really? How so? Or, "you need God to keep your marriage." Oh really? Then why is the divorce rate slightly higher for Christian couples? Let's not rig the game--call it for what it is. If Jesus promises, "I will never leave you," then that means, don't leave us. If He promises to bless us for following Him, then that means bless us. "Blessings in disguise" need to be just that, and not us just kidding ourselves.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

I already left, and have nothing else in life Is aspire to do,

The good thing with God is that as the bible tells us "with God all things are possible", and "all things work together for good for those who love God".

It does not matter if you make a mistake in life, God is able to turn it around for something good. And when he says good he mean good for you, not just some good for the divine purpose.

I've been given that verse before but always question if it means what I think

Some times God uses repetition to get our attention. As the bible says "In the multitude of counsellors is wisdom".