Why does it seem Feminism,Lesbianism and Androphobia go hand in hand?

[Juan777]

More worried about my self esteem. But like you said it’s not my issue so I really can’t say what I would do.

Your self-esteem is based on female validation?

 

[BPPLEE]

Your self-esteem is based on female validation?

Not mine. It’s more about keeping some things to yourself. The incel thing seems kind of whiny to me.

 

[Juan777]

Not mine. It’s more about keeping some things to yourself. The incel thing seems kind of whiny to me.

How do you know (about your self-esteem not being based on female validaiton) if you haven't been single for an extended period of time? For something that you've admitted is not, or will ever be your issue, it's a bit rich to say it seems whiny.

 

[bèlla]

The relatability bias in society is getting ridiculous. We have different experiences and challenges. It isn’t necessary for someone to walk in your shoes to discuss a problem. The willingness to engage doesn’t warrant agreement. Listening doesn’t require them to take your side or see things from your perspective. Anger and shame won’t inspire it.

When you present a problem you need to acknowledge the outcome you desire beforehand. A person wanting sympathy will broach it differently from the one needing solutions. It’s a different headspace. That should frame your conversation and audience. Oftentimes they’re not the same.

We need a bit of both. People who comfort and encourage and those who challenge us. When there’s an absence of accountability in our connections it’s a never ending stasis that assails the mind and heart. And you can’t get out.

I respect the person who loves me enough to ask hard questions. The one who says you say you want this but you’re doing that. The person willing to admit I’m getting in my way or going about it wrong. That doesn’t minimize external factors. It shows me where I’m falling short so I can turn the tables and move forward.

We can’t surround ourselves with people who validate everything we think and feel. Sometimes we’re wrong and a different perspective is required. If we want to resolve our dilemmas we must be willing to hear hard truths. It’s easy to find others who agree but consider their plight in light of yours.

If no one solved the problem why do they have your ear? It’s no longer a problem but a way of being. You’ll wake up one day and realize you spent all your time discussing an issue and little on resolution.

~bella

 

[BPPLEE]

How do you know (about your self-esteem not being based on female validaiton) if you haven't been single for an extended period of time? For something that you've admitted is not, or will ever be your issue, it's a bit rich to say it seems whiny.

After being married for 23 years I was single for seven years. That’s an extended period of time

 

[bèlla]

Being classically stoic isn't "toxic masculinity.

My wife told me early in our marriage, 39 years ago, that if I showed too much emotionalism, it would frighten her. Just a few weeks ago, after a crisis with our daughter, she mentioned how much she has depended all these years on my calmness under pressure.

I value the same and I’m at my best when things hit the fan and I want him to keep his head. That doesn’t mean we don’t emote or share our burdens. But we don’t have Oprah moments or take turns coming undone. There’s dignity in restraint. Every thought and feeling doesn’t have to be expressed. Somethings are better left unsaid or addressed with Yah.

I think overt emotionalism in men does unnerve women, and every study and survey bears that out. Maybe it's because they worry subconsciously if a man can't control his sorrow or his angst...he might not be able to control his anger, either.

I don’t care for it in either sex. Self-control is a must and spiritual fruit. You can’t live in your head or feelings. It’s imbalanced.

But a man who can't control his negative emotions is a problem to women. He should be able to say, "I've got an issue, but I've also got a plan to handle it."

I agree. We have to move beyond emotion and look for solutions.

And if he does have to do some ugly crying, that's what his male friends are for. It's been noted as a modern problem that many men don't have male friends these days.

I’m probably in the minority when it comes to this in relation to my sex. I look for a healthy balance in logic and expression. Some of the worst advice I ever received came from women and the propensity for enabling is great when emotion’s the driver. God-centered levelheadedness is a must. Hive minds are common and they’re more likely to agree than say you’re wrong. You can’t ignore the bias and must forge connections that are supportive and edifying.

I saw a post elsewhere on NOI. Not sure if it was yours but if so you’re right. Especially in respect to the S and C. ;-)

~bella

 

[Larniavc]

Geniuses and prodigies that did not pass their genes. You cant run from the sick arguments you make.

Yeah, they do. What makes you think they don’t?

 

[Larniavc]

Of course there is no such thing as a loser women, just men right? Just listen to yourself. You have no problem attaching labels to guys but a woman can do no wrong. Feel bad for the guy who involved with you.

Of course there are loser women. Why would you think there wasn’t? What makes you think there is a guy involved with me?

 

[Larniavc]

Oh right you are so deluded and priviledged to think the laws apply equally to men and women and there is no such thing as divorce rape? How dare you trivialize other people's suffering like that. Its like saying that a woman who was abused and threatened with her life just had a bad relationship and should get over it. That is disgusting.

If the law isn’t fair then it’s the fault of the law. Blaming women isn’t going to do anything.

 

[Larniavc]

I had to look up what incels and MGTOW meant. It seems we have a name for everyone these days

Yeah, it’s even more stupid because THEY named themselves and have a cant with a raft of codes they use with each other e.g. various colours of ‘pills’ to identify their personal qualities.

It’s how they insulate themselves from reality.

 

[Larniavc]

Okay lets try Newton

Newton threatened to burn his mum and stepdad to death as a teen.

That’s right on message for an incel.

 

[Larniavc]

Your self-esteem is based on female validation?

Mines not based on it but compliments from ladies is really good for my self esteem. Same way as if I got props from a fella.

 

[Larniavc]

After being married for 23 years I was single for seven years. That’s an extended period of time

I had a similar dry phase in my late twenties. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you didn't turn into a stinky misanthrope?

 

[DaisyDay]

That is a cop out.

Why do you think that? The appearance and disappearance of genes in a population takes place over time. Evolution is about populations not individuals. What was said about socially inept men being removed from the gene pool was flippant.

And again, you originally said “no women” which means that if one, two or a bunch are there, then “no women” is false.

 

[DaisyDay]

But it does matter because that WAS the whole point. Genes getting weeded out.

I’m not the one who said that but I think it is more of a rude joke than perfectly serious.

 

[DaisyDay]

If I was an incel I don’t think I would tell anyone

But the camaraderie of complaining and blaming others perhaps takes the sting out of the admission.

 

[Miles]

Some women use feminism to justify their androphobia, but a fear of men isn't a feminist value. There are feminists who neither hate nor fear men. However, most women who fear or hate men seem to assume the feminist label. They're the ones who want to "stick it to the man" rather than the ones who simply want equality.

Lesbians prefer women, which might interpreted by some as fearing or hating men, but the two aren't necessarily related.

Why do you think that? The appearance and disappearance of genes in a population takes place over time. Evolution is about populations not individuals. What was said about socially inept men being removed from the gene pool was flippant.

True. If your relatives have children, "your" genes live on. Each of us inherits different combinations of single nucleotide pairs, and how those SNPs express under different environmental conditions varies. It's not like each of us represents a uniquely new and rare mutations that will only persist if every individual has kids. Also, after enough successive generations have passed, our direct descendants might not even share combinations unique to our family lines. It's pretty wild to think about.

 

[Desk trauma]

How do you know (about your self-esteem not being based on female validaiton) if you haven't been single for an extended period of time? For something that you've admitted is not, or will ever be your issue, it's a bit rich to say it seems whiny.

I was single and celibate for several years. Incels are whiny, at best.

 

[Juan777]

Yeah, they do. What makes you think they don’t?

Newton and Vivaldi did not.

 

[Juan777]

Of course there are loser women. Why would you think there wasn’t? What makes you think there is a guy involved with me?

It sounds like you are saying they are not. I thought you said you were in a relationship with a guy in a previous post. I'll review the previous posts again later.