I just had to write you Ash. Wow! I've SOOOOO been in your situation before. I can feel your pain.
But let me explain some ideas to you the way a Hebrew/Greek teacher showed me.
God has three ways to answer us.
1. Yes.
2. No.
3. Wait.
The first is easy. It comes fairly quickly--maybe in a week or at most a month.
The second is frustrating. Man, I hate it when the Lord tells me "no." In fact, I've spent a great share of my life saying, "Yep, I know I can figure this out better than You, Lord. And anyway, I think it looks good, and I really think, since it looks so good and all good things come from God, so it seems to me that you really meant to say yes." OHHHHHHHHH, have I created problems for myself in this.
The third way is this:
Wait. Just wait until I get it to you says the Lord.
Daniel 10: 12 Then he continued, Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. 13 But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia.
Now you see, sometimes the angels who are bringing you something (even something as simple as a message) can't quite get there in your timing. So we have to wait upon the Lord.
Sometimes someone has to find something out before you can get your blessing (like your future wife needs to learn something).
Numbers 9: 8 Moses answered them, Wait until I find out what the LORD commands concerning you.
Maybe you need to learn to be strong and patient (women will try your soul--just ask an older married man.)
Wha does David, a man after God's own heart, tell you to do in Psalm 27: 14 Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
Just as a side note, David, you know? The guy who didn't wait on the Lord and stole Bathsheba from her husband and then killed her husband and lost his kingdom for a while? Yep, that David!
But the Lord will answer. He always does.
Ps 38:15 LORD, I wait for you;
you will answer, Lord my God.
...and He will hear your cry.
Ps 40: 1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry
If you don't wait, there are consequences:
Ps 106: 13 But they soon forgot what he had done
and did not wait for his plan to unfold.
14 In the desert they gave in to their craving;
in the wilderness they put God to the test.
15 So he gave them what they asked for,
but sent a wasting disease among them.
I don't think I would want whatever it is with a "wasting disease." I think I'd rather wait on the Lord.
Ps 130: 5 I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
Sometimes, the Lord seems to be hiding His face. But He will answer.
Isaiah 8: 17 I will wait for the LORD,
who is hiding his face from the descendants of Jacob.
I will put my trust in him.
The Lord wants very much to make you happy. But in being happy, you have to consider what is happening to the woman you will marry. Is she ready for you? Are you praying for her several times a day? What problems does she have that would make it hard for you and her to stay together? Would you rather have her today or be blessed when she comes?
Isaiah 30: 18 Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him.
Nobody has ever heard that God let them down. Nobody.
Isaiah 64: 4 Since ancient times no one has heard,
no ear has perceived,
no eye has seen any God besides you,
who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.
So is it time to make God your portion instead of a woman (that isn't ready for you yet?)
Lamentations 3: 24 I say to myself, The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.
25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
Maybe you need to try to seek the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will direct your paths to the woman of your dreams.
Hoseh 12: 6 But you must return to your God;
maintain love and justice,
and wait for your God always.
Your God will hear you and respond!
Micah 7: 7 But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD,
I wait for God my Savior;
my God will hear me.
But you have to have faith to get what you want.
Hebrews 11: Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. 2 This is what the ancients were commended for.
...and you need to wait on the Lord.
Romans 8: 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
Now if you've read this far, I will give you a very key verse that will help speed up the answer.
Ps 50: 23 Whoever offers praise glorifies Me;
And to him who orders his conduct aright
I will show the salvation of God.
This will open doors for you. Any time you have a request, give it, then start thanking the Lord for the answer. Do it times and times a day. It works!
And then, I prayed the prayer of Jabez: I Chronicles 4: 10 And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain! So God granted him what he requested.
I prayed this with another person, and I was meeting my future husband within a matter of months.
But I should have waited on the Lord. It has taken me nearly ten years to get him to follow the Lord. He is just beginning to do it. Without my interference, he might have come to the Lord before I met him, and I might have not had to fight so hard to get him there. Trust me, I wish I'd waited and let the Lord prepare him instead of thinking I could do it and NOT!
So my advice to you: Wait upon the Lord. Keep your eyes and ears open, and wait on the Lord.
I recently read, on CF, a couple of posts by two women, either in their late 20s or early 30s, that were also waiting on the Lord. They were both virgins, and they felt the same way that you do. They felt like they were never going to meet that special man. I also read a post by a younger "virgin" who had let her boyfriend play around with her until she was nearly played out and she felt spoiled by him. Very sad. Don't go that direction. It soils your soul.
You can either wait, or go ahead and mess it all up. Which would you rather do?