Why does God want me single / celibate?

[TruthSeeker2012]

But it would be worth it just to see the M & M guy's face being pulled through an internet cable!

Yuck. Now you're doing the condemning.

 

[znr]

? ?

I had a question I had asked you, and I even told you that you didn't have to answer it if it was too personal a question. You even asked me why I had hoped you would answer it, and I told you why.

Are you going to answer my question ?

I'll pass. But will let you know if I change my mind.

 

[day time]

I'll pass. But will let you know if I change my mind.

Hmm ...

 

[MasterpieceMesias]

. . . man this thread really derailed didn't it

 

[znr]

. . . man this thread really derailed didn't it

I'm hoping Ash will swoop in and rescue it

 

[MasterpieceMesias]

that won't be necessary, I'm good with the derailing. . . this topic has been done to death as it is.

 

[MCab]

that won't be necessary, I'm good with the derailing. . . this topic has been done to death as it is.

Agree whole-heartedly.

 

[znr]

that won't be necessary, I'm good with the derailing. . . this topic has been done to death as it is.

We could discuss youtube's hideous new gray layout. Well, hey, at least it's not jail cell yellow.

 

[jimfish]

Having spent many past years in a Christian call center, just as many lonely marrieds called as did lonely singles. Neither life is heaven. Both have pluses; both have minuses.

And having spent a decade married and two single, it IS easier and better to be single, from a Christian perspective, though while single it seldom seems so, "the grass always looking greener...."

But there is also "a time for every season under the sun."

But then....(lol).

 

[candle glow]

Thank you for sharing that, jimfish. Being celebate, I have also experienced what you have shared here. There are plenty of times when the romantic aspect of relationship sounds/feels very appealing. However, I have ALSO heard what you expressed when saying that, even after experiencing marriage, you feel a single life for the sake of being more useful for God is still the preferable option.

I have some married friends who express something similar. They still would prefer to be married and they still love their spouses, but after experiencing marriage they realized that there really ARE disadvantages to it, especially in a missionary life.

Regarding the issue of romance and feelings, I look at it as an issue of being faithful to what we feel God is telling us to do, whether it is to stay single or faithful in a marriage.

 

[wayfaring man]

To many who are single the lure of sex is greater than sleep.

And to many who are married, the lure of sleep is greater than sex.

In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider: God also has set the one over against the other, to the end that man should find nothing after him. <-----> Ecclesiastes 7:14

...This I say, brethren, the time is short: it remains, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;
And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; <-----> 1st Corinthians 7:29+30

Nothing lasts forever but God and His Kingdom, therefore lasting satisfaction and fulfillment can only be found in Him & His Royal Realm !

May The Lord Be Magnified !

wm

 

[candle glow]

Nothing lasts forever but God and His Kingdom, therefore lasting satisfaction and fulfillment can only be found in Him & His Royal Realm !

Yes, I feel this is something that affects many of my motivations; it can apply to just about anything like relationships, finances and even dying. A vision for something that is greater than this life can help us to do A LOT that we would not normally feel comfortable doing.

However, I feel that there are also other motivations which can apply in a more practical way in everyday life. For example, part of the reason I see for celibacy is the freedom it gives one to go here or go there at a moments notice if God says to.

Particularly in a missionary situation where someone is preaching the gospel full time (in whatever various ways they have come up with to do it), the inspiration needed to STAY single comes from the necessity of the job itself.

But for people who do not have that motivation there appears to be not much reason to stay single, because they are not thinking about going at a moments notice etc...

On the other hand, where I see this relating to Christians in general, is the idea that we are all called to be missionaries, even if it's just in our own neighborhood. I see this idea of staying single for God as being an overlapping of wills where he wants us to choose what he knows is more efficient for us to get the job done (i.e. staying single so that we remain flexible) but at the same time understanding that not everyone has the will to do it that way.

 

[jimfish]

I believe a lot of what we're referencing here on single vs. married can be tied to what the Word states in Matthew 10 regarding Jesus' sword. He tells us our enemies will be those of our own household.

I was brought up in a fundamentalist church (still am such) where we were, I think incorrectly, taught that the above was referring to non-believer family members. I beg to differ. I assert that ANYONE, be it a spouse or whoever, with whom we have a relationship, has of course their own personal needs and desires, some of which they will look to us to fulfill. The problem is, their needs and desires will often differ from what God needs/wants from us at particular times. And because our flesh seeks to please the people in our lives more than it does God (after all, THEY are the ones we must face, or so it only seems at the time), we who have intimate relationships will more often fail God than if not so involved.

Bottom line: by remaining single and being without children, we have that many fewer people in our lives who we will from time to time choose to please over God. But of course since God is always testing us, always trying to bring to the surface those remaining idols of our heart, deficiencies of our soul, He will bring others besides spouse and children into our journey, to see who we will please, who we will serve.

"Those who attempt to live godly in Christ Jesus WILL suffer persecution," even in sheltered America, guaranteed.

But, on the other hand, "there is a time for every season under the sun...." (Lol)

 

[MCab]

This thread isn't worth this many posts. There have been good ones, but this whole thing seemed to be someone's attempt to find people to agree with him and make anyone look stupid who dared to disagree.

 

[day time]

This thread isn't worth this many posts. There have been good ones, but this whole thing seemed to be someone's attempt to find people to agree with him and make anyone look stupid who dared to disagree.

I've heard it said that every thread is begun with the idea of trolling in mind lol ...

 

[MCab]

I've heard it said that every thread is begun with the idea of trolling in mind lol ...

I'll be fair and just say "many."

 

[candle glow]

I assert that ANYONE, be it a spouse or whoever, with whom we have a relationship, has of course their own personal needs and desires, some of which they will look to us to fulfill. The problem is, their needs and desires will often differ from what God needs/wants from us at particular times. And because our flesh seeks to please the people in our lives more than it does God (after all, THEY are the ones we must face, or so it only seems at the time), we who have intimate relationships will more often fail God than if not so involved.

Brother jim has spoken my mind.

Bottom line: by remaining single and being without children, we have that many fewer people in our lives who we will from time to time choose to please over God. But of course since God is always testing us, always trying to bring to the surface those remaining idols of our heart, deficiencies of our soul, He will bring others besides spouse and children into our journey, to see who we will please, who we will serve.

Ah, thanks for bringing up the thing about children. I was kinda avoiding it 'cause it can become fairly emotional, but you are right that in the same way marriage adds a new dimension of emotional obstacle to life, so to does having children.

I think the one possible exception to that could be adoption of orphans. If a couple really, really wants children, adoption presents a very reasonable alternative. Although the emotional aspect will still be there, agreeing to take care of orphans not only gives the couple a child, but also helps another person who is already in the world.

I'm not saying it's wrong for a couple to have their own flesh/blood baby,byw, but just that adoption has a lot of merit and still conforms to the general spirit of being single for God.

 

[jimfish]

....

I think the one possible exception to that could be adoption of orphans. If a couple really, really wants children, adoption presents a very reasonable alternative....

IF, of course, the Spirit so leads, and He sometimes won't, and the self-deceitfulness of our heart makes it VERY difficult to know. (We don't want to hear what we don't want to hear.)

As example, I knew an extremely anointed worship leader, a single woman upon whom the Hand of God definitely rested, but her clock was ticking, she adopted an orphan, and her ministry--not to say at all in condemning judgment but strictly objectively--today is a very small fragment of what it had been and what it could've been.

I witnessed personally the same downfall regarding an anointed single female evangelist who then decided to marry. Very sad.

God is a jealous God. His name is Jealous.

 

[candle glow]

Yeah I agree that getting direction from God is very important. As good as good stuff is, it's still important to hear WHICH good stuff God wants us to do.

As example, I knew an extremely anointed worship leader, a single woman upon whom the Hand of God definitely rested, but her clock was ticking, she adopted an orphan, and her ministry--not to say at all in condemning judgment but strictly objectively--today is a very small fragment of what it had been and what it could've been.

I think it depends on her motives. It's so hard to know sometimes.

I'm not so sure that dwindling church attendance is necessarily a sign that she did something wrong, though. The thing about adopting orphans is that there is no command or even general teaching in the NT about the merits of having babies, but there is some fairly specific teaching about orphans. Even though it will create those complicated emotional issues mentioned earlier, orphans are already here in the world and SOMEONE needs to look after them.

I'd prefer it to be a Christian than some worldly institution. The best option would be for Christian couples considering having a baby, to forsake the desire to have their own personal flesh/blood baby and opt for adoption, but we can't always expect the best.

Generally speaking it'd be better for those who chose to stay single to not try for adoption as that kinda defeats the purpose of staying single, though I don't think it's totally black/white; I think there can be room for exceptions as the spirit flows.

 

[jimfish]

....
I think it depends on her motives. It's so hard to know sometimes.

BIG amen. [It's all about motive.]

...I'm not so sure that dwindling church attendance is necessarily a sign that she did something wrong, though....

Church attendance was not a factor. I was attempting to be as ambiguous as possible out of respect. I didn't even personally know her. It was something God used to teach me during my prep for ministry.

Same was true, or so i allege, concerning K, who on his last album b4 his premature death told his followers to "JUST GO" in to whatever their perceived mission, not waiting upon the Lord's timing. How does one spell that horn noise when a goal is made at a hockey game, used in the opposite sense during conversations?

Very, very sad. But we can and should learn from the errors of others.