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Why do people still have so much hope for marriage?

Discussion in 'Singles (Only*)' started by leothelioness, Mar 20, 2011.

  1. Apollo Celestio

    Apollo Celestio Deal with it.

    +1,257
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    US-Green

    Christians believe when it's all said and done that's all there will ever be. Thus either we're the greatest of fools, or not.

    Idealization of marriage is probably like the idealization of becoming an adult. It's the next step of most people's lives and the culture or human nature has made people monogamous by nature.
     
  2. Supplanter

    Supplanter There is no charge for awesomeness.

    +311
    Word of Faith
    Married
    Ummmmm. It sort of seems like some people are not reading the posts here about Christian marriage or are dismissing what they are actually saying in order to propagate the view that Christian marriages aren't any different so we can just bash marriage in general.

    If you don't want to sign up for something as difficult as marriage then don't. Christian marriage may be even harder than a secular marriage because we are striving for something beyond ourselves and our own happiness, but the benefits are also greater in the end should we be able to stick it out.

    And it is very easy to throw around that the divorce rate is the "same" but so what if it is, it does not negate that a Godly marriage is different than others or that a Christian marriage should represent Christ and His Body. People fail. Not evyone will succeed at this sort of marriage, but if they don't then it is generally their own doing (not always).

    If you don't believe marriage works for you then don't pursue it, but it sounds like to me the issue is selfishness and bitterness and in order for people to try to avoid the fact that they are selfish and bitter when it comes to relationships, they instead blame the institution of mariiage.
     
  3. Sunset2009

    Sunset2009 Guest

    +0
    I told my SO last night that I want to love him in every single way I can. I don't believe I can do that (rightfully) unless I'm married to him. I can't serve him extensively unless I'm married to him, I can't show my love for him physically unless I'm married to him. I can't show him that I want to spend the rest of my entire life with him and him only, unless I'm married to him. I mean, couples can experience the bulk of that if they're living together/having sex. But they still don't have that lifetime commitment they've made to each other.
     
  4. Im_A

    Im_A Legend

    +1,359
    Humanist
    In Relationship
    So that must be why their rate of marriage is the same like everyone else eh?
    I don't equate as having anything in comparison to becoming an adult...especially when children have gotten married in our history and still do today in certain parts of the country and letting the government recognize who I would thus hopefully have regular sex with and make some commitment doesn't seem like 'growing up' to me.
     
  5. Apollo Celestio

    Apollo Celestio Deal with it.

    +1,257
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    US-Green

    Coming of age, marriage, all milestones in life.
     
  6. Im_A

    Im_A Legend

    +1,359
    Humanist
    In Relationship
    So it would be better to have many, many milestones. Be the most wise and grown up person alive!
    :p
     
  7. leothelioness

    leothelioness Well-Known Member

    +4,023
    United States
    Christian
    Celibate
    Some Christians teach that marriage is the culmination of adulthood and that those who aren't married have yet to reach it, or are living in an "extended adolesence". Which I don't agree with.
     
  8. Maybe because they touched on something real that you'd rather ignore.
     
  9. leothelioness

    leothelioness Well-Known Member

    +4,023
    United States
    Christian
    Celibate
    They're called "fairy tales" for a reason. I'll just leave it at that.
     
  10. They also express, along with many other stories, what is best and true about humanity. They reveal a truth that has been forgotten and degraded by cynicism and apathy.
     
  11. Fremdin

    Fremdin Contributor

    +581
    Christian
    Private
    For every 50 stories I hear about divorce and heartbreak I only hear one story of 2 people who are in love and stayed in love and stayed together, through good times and bad times. Those aren't good odds but, my God, they are good enough odds for me. I remain optimistic and hopeful.
     
  12. Marriage is work, but people in today's society are not willing to work at anything
     
  13. Gym

    Gym CF's Ruskie

    +315
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    well here's a third for ya:p
    my parents remaind together through thick andthin till the day my mother died
     
  14. this_is_new

    this_is_new Newbie

    63
    +4
    Agnostic
    Yup like not taking apples from old ladies ;). I like them as much as anyone but the princes to me almost always seemed 1D. In Snow White it was hard to know anything about the guy.
     
  15. Fremdin

    Fremdin Contributor

    +581
    Christian
    Private
    I'm sorry for your loss, but that's a very sweet story
     
  16. mina

    mina Brown Eyed girl

    +3,486
    Christian
    Married
    This, but I know lots of older couples that have stayed together through thick and thin and seem really truly in love decades later. And it does give me hope that people can make it. In the past 10 to 20 years or so I've been observing and trying to learn thier secrets and learn from them instead of learning the wrong things from tv shows, people on Dr. Phil., and the scads of other couples that have the attitude that "if it doesn't work out; we can always get divorced".
     
  17. MacFall

    MacFall Agorist

    +995
    Christian
    Single
    US-Others
    What truth, that women should wait around for a prince or some magical being to rescue them instead of being proactive and courageous in their own lives? :p
     
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2011
  18. explodingboy

    explodingboy Guest

    +0
    It's because the good news doesn't sell well.

    It doesn't matter what the subject of discussion is, you'll always hear more negative points than good.
     
  19. explodingboy

    explodingboy Guest

    +0
    Alternatively Walt Disney has rather.. watered down the message of the story to a formulated happy ever after. Less Disney more Brothers Grimm.
     
  20. PassionFruit

    PassionFruit I woke up like dis

    +276
    Humanist
    Engaged
    US-Democrat
    Funny you should say that, a lot of these fairy tales were quite dark before Disney got a hold of them.

    :p

    You brought up another function of fairy tales. Not only do they exist to give idealized notions of love, but they also function as a way to enforce social roles. Why do you think women in fairy tales with power are always viewed as a "witch" or always ugly?

    The message is quite clear.
     
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