We all live in a universe where such a place as Hell exists and just the fact that alot of souls are there already and will be there out of their own stubborn will to live their own lives along with the fact that some of my family members may end up here just makes me sick. It is for this reason why I keep writing journal entries to God, asking Him to take me out of existence permanently. I also ask Him this because I also tell Him that I even doubt my desire to worship Him. And I know God will allow us to do as we please as He gave us free will, but why not just let me back out of existence? I don't like this world that much to be honest with you and I fear I may want Heaven because of what it has in store for me. I fear I may be just after salvation specifically out of fear. If the whole purpose of me being born in this world was to serve God and have a relationship with Him, but I just don't feel in my heart to have one, then why did He create me? He might as well should've just left me alone in complete and utter nothingness. I really don't want to hurt God in any way, shape or form by saying this, but I don't care what He thinks. People say He's this all-wise and omniscient Creator who knows me better than I know myself, but I think the best thing for me is nonexistence. In oblivion, you have no consciousness, therefore you have no knowledge of anything happening and you don't have to deal with this damnable existence. And please don't call me atheist for thinking this way--I just don't want anything to do with Heaven or Hell. I honestly think oblivion is the best thing and God should respect that decision since He respects one's decision to go to Hell, right?
Why do I have to live forever if I don't want to?
- Thread starter Starmarigold1791
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elopez
Well-Known Member
Hell is not suppose to make you feel good. Of course the idea of Hell is repulsive, but there it is.
Free will pertains to things that are actually humanly capable of being done, which could not 'back out of existence.' It depends on what existence means. We can destroy the body, but not the soul. That is because the nature of the soul is everlasting, that is, without end. It would be logically impossible for an everlasting soul to cease to exist indefinitely.
God did not create you. At least not in the way that He did with Adam and Eve. We are bore of our mothers and we inherit a sinful nature. We are selfish about a lot of things. Luckily if we trust God He will change that. There would be no fear. If you don't want to have a relationship with God I am not sure what else to say.
You think you know the best thing for you. Yet, God being omniscient would know for certain what is best for you, and perhaps that is not being left in nothingness.
You're not an atheist. What you describe is more like maltheism than anything. God doesn't want anyone to go to Hell. So I would think He doesn't want you to go out of existence, either.
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But what if I don't want to live forever? I mean why force eternity on even those who simply do not wish to live forever? God does not force anyone to be with Him in Heaven, but my goodness He forces us to be born and live forever.
Why keep someone alive a moment longer while they stress other people and themselves out as they whine and complain about living in a world they HATE? God would never force anyone to be in a place they don't want to be in Heaven, but He can force someone to live in a filth-ridden world in which they never asked to be born into. I'm not speaking as if I'm maltheist, I just feel as if God has condemned me already for even giving me life, since I'll continue to live forever even if I despise the thought of it. I just simply want to live and die and that's all. But the thing I hate the most of it all is Satan and Hell itself. Why not there be a third option: oblivion? For those who don't want to serve God or Satan? Those who just don't want in their hearts salvation or damnation? Reconciliation with or separation from God? I feel I just want to stay in-between, but I definitely want nothing to do with the Devil. He can go straight to Hell by himself as he deserves it. Him and his rotten filth.
Why keep someone alive a moment longer while they stress other people and themselves out as they whine and complain about living in a world they HATE? God would never force anyone to be in a place they don't want to be in Heaven, but He can force someone to live in a filth-ridden world in which they never asked to be born into. I'm not speaking as if I'm maltheist, I just feel as if God has condemned me already for even giving me life, since I'll continue to live forever even if I despise the thought of it. I just simply want to live and die and that's all. But the thing I hate the most of it all is Satan and Hell itself. Why not there be a third option: oblivion? For those who don't want to serve God or Satan? Those who just don't want in their hearts salvation or damnation? Reconciliation with or separation from God? I feel I just want to stay in-between, but I definitely want nothing to do with the Devil. He can go straight to Hell by himself as he deserves it. Him and his rotten filth.
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elopez
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What if you don't want to live forever now, but that thought changes in the course of x amount of time? See, you don't know how you're going to feel about things one year from now, or even one month. God does know. Like I was saying, perhaps God knows something extravagant is going to happen to you to make you change your outlook on life.
That question has been answered. God isn't forcing you to live now.
The above statement in bold and underlined is speaking from a maltheist point of view. Maltheism is basically the idea that God is out to get you, which is exactly what you seem to be describing in that statement.
If you want to live then maybe you should stop focusing on all the negativity around you and focus on the positive things. I hate the idea of Hell too, but I can't just get rid of it no matter how much I want to. Perhaps Heaven and Hell are the only two viable options for our souls. Our souls are everlasting and we cannot change that either, so it's either one place or the other. The third alternative is near illogical.
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I mean, please do not misunderstand. I prefer Heaven much more any day than Hell. Hell is the main reason why I resent being a believer let alone living in this world. But I fear I may want Heaven for the wrong reasons such as:
1. To save my soul from Hell
2. Because of what Heaven offers: things to do, lack of boredom, etc.
3. To preserve my own life
Also, writing journal entries to the Lord make me feel so much more at ease than when I'm recording in my own journal about my most genuine feelings, good or bad. However, I'm so scared of Hell, that I question even Him why things are the way they are. Perhaps I really do need to talk to Him more. But I think I am just too selfish to serve the Lord for the right reasons: because He is a loving God and I want to, not because I have to specifically for my eternal soul's sake. I just want to know: why? Why did God bring me here? If there is absolutely no chance in returning to nonexistence, why was I born? I'm pretty sure you and I would prefer oblivion over eternal damnation any day if it was possible. I'm confused on what I should do next.
1. To save my soul from Hell
2. Because of what Heaven offers: things to do, lack of boredom, etc.
3. To preserve my own life
Also, writing journal entries to the Lord make me feel so much more at ease than when I'm recording in my own journal about my most genuine feelings, good or bad. However, I'm so scared of Hell, that I question even Him why things are the way they are. Perhaps I really do need to talk to Him more. But I think I am just too selfish to serve the Lord for the right reasons: because He is a loving God and I want to, not because I have to specifically for my eternal soul's sake. I just want to know: why? Why did God bring me here? If there is absolutely no chance in returning to nonexistence, why was I born? I'm pretty sure you and I would prefer oblivion over eternal damnation any day if it was possible. I'm confused on what I should do next.
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elopez
Well-Known Member
I understand just fine. What you portray is what is known as attrition in Catholic theology, which is the belief of God or the need for salvation based on something other than the love of God, and in this case, fear of Hell among other things. The fact of the matter is that yes, you do desire salvation for the wrong motives. Your motive, I would tend to think, should be out of love for God and a longing to be with Him. And that is not impossible.
Whatever helps you I would say do. Only God knows why you are here. That has been my persistent point the whole time: you don't know why, God does, so perhaps there is a reason why that you don't know that is to come in due time. Maybe it's right now and you're not even seizing the opportunity.
Non - existence is not an option to choose from, and while we're at it, neither is Heaven. We don't choose to save ourselves, God saves us of His own will as it is in the Bible. If non - existence were possible only to exclude the experience of being with God forever I would not take it. What you need to do next is realize that God is not out to get you. He is here to help you. He is here to save you.
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But I don't want nonexistence to be possible only to exclude the opportunity of having a place in Heaven with God, oh no. Rather, I want it possible to exclude the opportunity of ending up in Hell. Because I mean after all, oblivion is alot better than ending up in Hell forever, wouldn't you agree? Any soul in Hell would agree 100%.
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seashale76
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Keep in mind that as God is everywhere present and fills all things, even those experiencing 'hell' can't escape God's presence.
CF used to have a wiki type thing that no longer exists, but this was on it:
Also, this used to be on wikipedia at one time, but I can't seem to find it anymore:
We see God as love. Christ is the light. Think of it this way. I'm sure any who've read the scriptures before recall the story of the three youths in the fiery furnace. The fire was made extremely hot, yet the three youths were able to walk in the furnace without being burned. However, others died from the same heat, and weren't even in the furnace. The heat didn't change for anyone. Being in heaven is being in the presence of God and worshipping Him for eternity. There is no boredom, there is no concept of time as we know it.
I'm likely not explaining this well- but there's a bit of it- anyway.
CF used to have a wiki type thing that no longer exists, but this was on it:
Also, this used to be on wikipedia at one time, but I can't seem to find it anymore:
We see God as love. Christ is the light. Think of it this way. I'm sure any who've read the scriptures before recall the story of the three youths in the fiery furnace. The fire was made extremely hot, yet the three youths were able to walk in the furnace without being burned. However, others died from the same heat, and weren't even in the furnace. The heat didn't change for anyone. Being in heaven is being in the presence of God and worshipping Him for eternity. There is no boredom, there is no concept of time as we know it.
I'm likely not explaining this well- but there's a bit of it- anyway.
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seeingeyes
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It sounds like you have gotten to the point in your walk in which you have found out that you are gooder than God.
You can't pretend to not feel how you feel. Or to not understand what you understand. (Well, you could, but it wouldn't change anything except what people see.) So the only way out of this is forward, and you may find a couple of sacred cows standing in your way. You're gonna have to kill 'em.
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