Why did this guy treat me like this and made a mess of me?

[raquellexxx]

I am slightly anxious when it comes to communicating with men. The reason for this is that I consider myself not beautiful enough and even ugly sometimes, although I have often received attention from men.

However, something happened recently that made me a complete mess. I went to a party where one of the boys repeatedly initiated conversations with me. I noticed how he was often looking at me, one time even staring at me continuously, and even smiling at me. I also talked to him, smiling and trying my best to show that I was interested too.

Then, just when my insecure mind decided that maybe there is a slim chance that he liked me, I was left shocked. Suddenly, he asked me and my girlfriend for advice about some girl he met recently and liked, but she ghosted him.

Since he told us that he realized it wasn't worth it and got over her, I decided to keep communicating with him, hoping that we would at least exchange contacts in the end since we would never see each other again. But that didn't happen and we all left.

So, I welcomed the New Year with a shattered peace of mind, very confused, miserable, and convinced more than ever that apparently I'm not pretty enough or even ugly once he didn't do anything more. I know how he was looking at me, it was definitely not accidental eye contact, he was staring at me repeatedly and consistently. And he began initiating conversations. Am I really that delusional and if there is any chance he really liked me? But if he had, why didn't he want anything more?

 

[peaceful-forest]

I am slightly anxious when it comes to communicating with men. The reason for this is that I consider myself not beautiful enough and even ugly sometimes, although I have often received attention from men.

However, something happened recently that made me a complete mess. I went to a party where one of the boys repeatedly initiated conversations with me. I noticed how he was often looking at me, one time even staring at me continuously, and even smiling at me. I also talked to him, smiling and trying my best to show that I was interested too.

Then, just when my insecure mind decided that maybe there is a slim chance that he liked me, I was left shocked. Suddenly, he asked me and my girlfriend for advice about some girl he met recently and liked, but she ghosted him.

Since he told us that he realized it wasn't worth it and got over her, I decided to keep communicating with him, hoping that we would at least exchange contacts in the end since we would never see each other again. But that didn't happen and we all left.

So, I welcomed the New Year with a shattered peace of mind, very confused, miserable, and convinced more than ever that apparently I'm not pretty enough or even ugly once he didn't do anything more. I know how he was looking at me, it was definitely not accidental eye contact, he was staring at me repeatedly and consistently. And he began initiating conversations. Am I really that delusional and if there is any chance he really liked me? But if he had, why didn't he want anything more?

It's hard to say what was going on in that guy's mind. I used to get similar treatments from guys when I was younger; I thought they liked me, then they never initiated beyond being acquaintances. Sometimes you gotta be the one that initiates. There's nothing wrong with a female doing that.

I would talk to God about the situation. He knows more about us and our situations than anyone else. And if you do want a guy, pray to God to give you one. He's better at picking someone out for us and we do on our own.

This may be a shock, but some guys aren't shallow. There are guys out there that find inner qualities more attractive in a woman than beauty. For example, I worked with a guy that eventually fell in love with me and repeatedly told me about all the inner qualities that he liked about me; he rarely made positive comments about my physical appearance.

 

[DragonFox91]

Maybe he chickened out?

 

[timewerx]

I've dealt with similar situations before, with women ofc.

I've learned not to make a big deal out of it. It could have a lot worse like the guy asking you out for date then you go out on a date, then ghosts you.

So it's probably nothing. Since the guy told you he met someone who ghosted him, he's probably just dumping his disappointment on you. Not a good thing to do to other people. So better forget it completely, not worth your time.

 

[GodBeMercifulToMeASinner]

Are you a Christian? Well if so, this may not be a popular statement, but New Years is a pagan holiday, we are to come up out of the world and be set apart..avoid the traditions of man, learn not the way of the heathens and so on. If you are a Christian woman seeking a Christian man you’re not going to meet a truly Godly man at a party celebrating a pagan holiday. Just my two pennies. You’re going to only find someone at best whom has one foot in the world, and he will be spewed out with the rest of the lukewarm. He will lead you into sin.

If you are not a Christian, well..if he is asking for advice on a romantic interest..he is weak tbh. You want someone with a stronger personality than that anyways. Someone with enough confidence just to move on from rejection.

Do not worry so much what other people think, particularly about your looks. There is much more to a woman than such. Don’t get caught up in the ways of the world, they fixate on things such as looks, ‘status’ within the world system, and temporal things like that. You want someone who likes you for you.

 

[Lost Witness]

, but New Years is a pagan holiday,

Agreed

 

[timewerx]

Are you a Christian? Well if so, this may not be a popular statement, but New Years is a pagan holiday, we are to come up out of the world and be set apart..avoid the traditions of man, learn not the way of the heathens and so on. If you are a Christian woman seeking a Christian man you’re not going to meet a truly Godly man at a party celebrating a pagan holiday. Just my two pennies. You’re going to only find someone at best whom has one foot in the world, and he will be spewed out with the rest of the lukewarm. He will lead you into sin.

If you are not a Christian, well..if he is asking for advice on a romantic interest..he is weak tbh. You want someone with a stronger personality than that anyways. Someone with enough confidence just to move on from rejection.

Do not worry so much what other people think, particularly about your looks. There is much more to a woman than such. Don’t get caught up in the ways of the world, they fixate on things such as looks, ‘status’ within the world system, and temporal things like that. You want someone who likes you for you.

Xmas is also borrowed / copied from pagan traditions. I actually slept through both xmas and new year!

Ofc, not many Christians are aware of it and even if they are made aware of it, they fiercely resist the possibility what they have always believed can be false.

 

[GodBeMercifulToMeASinner]

Xmas is also borrowed / copied from pagan traditions. I actually slept through both xmas and new year!

Ofc, not many Christians are aware of it and even if they are made aware of it, they fiercely resist the possibility what they have always believed can be false.

Yes Christmas is ‘strange fire’ to God, and we are not to worship Him via pagan traditions which they created to worship their own false gods.

I actually fell out of celebrating Christmas before even converting. Yes I believed in God. However I did not want to give up my sins, did not even believe I needed forgiveness. But even then, I just couldn’t help but notice over the years..the gluttony, drunkenness, retail clerks getting stampeded to death literally upon opening the store in the morning during the big holiday sales, people fist fighting in the aisles over the last of the trendy junk on the shelf, these mammon serving corporate tycoons generating the majority of their revenue at that time. Lying to children about a mythical man with godlike power. So I thought to myself, doesn’t all this diametrically oppose Jesus Christ? Yes..yes it does.

So after converting it was a no-brainer I want nothing to do with this or any other holidays, they each are rooted in paganism and were tidied up by the powers that be in order to dupe light into fellowship with darkness.

As you say, many Christians do not want to give up these sinful manmade traditions. And they’re typically the very first to rally against other sinful practices such as homosexualism, transsexualism, abortion, and things of that nature. All the while kidding themselves that the pagan holidays they keep are not sinful. The unrepentant homosexual and the unrepentant lukewarm Christian involved with pagan holidays each have their part in the lake. The heterosexual Christian whom is unrepentant in regards to the adultery they commit within their heart has the same fate awaiting them as the transsexualist.

This is why I never fell in with the manmade denominational buildings I just never felt led to be involved with one. They will rally against certain sins while excusing or shrugging off others..homosexualism is sin yes..now what about all the immodestly dressed women in the pews, the strange fire being offered up to God by keeping the pagan holidays. The unrepentant inappropriate content addicts and cigarette smokers. All that is allowed to fly, while other sins not so much.

 

[Miles]

Xmas is also borrowed / copied from pagan traditions. I actually slept through both xmas and new year!

Ofc, not many Christians are aware of it and even if they are made aware of it, they fiercely resist the possibility what they have always believed can be false.

I find it strange when atheists point it out like "Haha... gotcha! Aren't I so smart, you silly Christian type!!" Here I was, under the impression that few Christians would claim it to be the actual date of Christ's birth. Apparently, we're not supposed to be aware of basic church history. Go figure.

The holidays are family and community traditions. Remembering Christ during a pagan or otherwise holiday seems appropriate to me. Let's celebrate at traditional times, but instead we'll celebrate what we want to celebrate. It's no longer a pagan thing for Christians who are celebrating Christ.

All days are arguably holy. They're numbered, and each one that we have is a gift. Designating a few as "Holidays" can be a fun excuse for time off from work or school. Time to spend with family or doing other things that we enjoy. Maybe even reflecting on how we've been blessed. I don't have a problem with holidays per se, other than the hassle involved, even if I know that the dates etc. are often arbitrary. Jesus celebrated Passover, but I'm not aware of him celebrating Christmas let alone Easter. It doesn't mean that people shouldn't celebrate monumental times in his life. Just that the specific day is less important than the meaning somebody gives it.

 

[LoveDivine]

Oliver Cromwell also banned the eating of pies. Sometimes people can become ridiculous and overly puritanical and miss the point entirely. The campaign to ignore a day to observe the birth of Christ helps society, exactly how? But let's all feel good about removing the slightest memory of Christ that secular society has left so that we can all feel superior about our level of faith. Better yet, let's invade every thread not related to this topic to trash Christmas and immodest women and church attendance. Because that is also super helpful for someone who wants to know why a guy didn't ask her out.

 

[Lost Witness]

secular society

is in opposition to the LORD
Just wanted to add that as it's not something people tend to acknowledge

 

[mojoboy31]

Oliver Cromwell also banned the eating of pies. Sometimes people can become ridiculous and overly puritanical and miss the point entirely. The campaign to ignore a day to observe the birth of Christ helps society, exactly how? But let's all feel good about removing the slightest memory of Christ that secular society has left so that we can all feel superior about our level of faith. Better yet, let's invade every thread not related to this topic to trash Christmas and immodest women and church attendance. Because that is also super helpful for someone who wants to know why a guy didn't ask her out.

Now to the OP, as others have said, he may have chickened out. Maybe he was waiting on some kind of signal from you. Guys can be pretty dumb and don't always know or notice the signals you send out.

 

[public hermit]

Then, just when my insecure mind decided that maybe there is a slim chance that he liked me, I was left shocked. Suddenly, he asked me and my girlfriend for advice about some girl he met recently and liked, but she ghosted him.

Since he told us that he realized it wasn't worth it and got over her, I decided to keep communicating with him, hoping that we would at least exchange contacts in the end since we would never see each other again. But that didn't happen and we all left

Just from what you've written, I'm betting that conversation was just a foil so he could keep talking to you. Keep in mind, many guys are terrible at this kind of thing. If he's keeping sustained eye contact, smiling, and engages, that's flirting. He probably gave it his best shot and left feeling defeated like you. Be easy on yourself. I think he was attracted to you and did what he thought might work in that moment. Was it a great idea to talk about some girl that ghosted him? No. But guys get nervous, too, and their best ideas are sometimes stupid. Trust me; I know of what I speak lol.

 

[timewerx]

I find it strange when atheists point it out like "Haha... gotcha! Aren't I so smart, you silly Christian type!!" Here I was, under the impression that few Christians would claim it to be the actual date of Christ's birth. Apparently, we're not supposed to be aware of basic church history. Go figure.

The holidays are family and community traditions. Remembering Christ during a pagan or otherwise holiday seems appropriate to me. Let's celebrate at traditional times, but instead we'll celebrate what we want to celebrate. It's no longer a pagan thing for Christians who are celebrating Christ.

All days are arguably holy. They're numbered, and each one that we have is a gift. Designating a few as "Holidays" can be a fun excuse for time off from work or school. Time to spend with family or doing other things that we enjoy. Maybe even reflecting on how we've been blessed. I don't have a problem with holidays per se, other than the hassle involved, even if I know that the dates etc. are often arbitrary. Jesus celebrated Passover, but I'm not aware of him celebrating Christmas let alone Easter. It doesn't mean that people shouldn't celebrate monumental times in his life. Just that the specific day is less important than the meaning somebody gives it.

I'm not really talking about the accuracy of the days.

I'm talking about xmas being a false Christian tradition. It wasn't the Jews who first started birthday celebrations, but pagans. Even Jesus asked to be remembered through the Holy Communion without any mention of celebrating His birthday.

If Christians should not be conformed to the ways of this world, it doesn't make sense for Christians to borrow/copy pagan traditions and adopt them as their own. It's illogical.

 

[GodBeMercifulToMeASinner]

Oliver Cromwell also banned the eating of pies. Sometimes people can become ridiculous and overly puritanical and miss the point entirely. The campaign to ignore a day to observe the birth of Christ helps society, exactly how? But let's all feel good about removing the slightest memory of Christ that secular society has left so that we can all feel superior about our level of faith. Better yet, let's invade every thread not related to this topic to trash Christmas and immodest women and church attendance. Because that is also super helpful for someone who wants to know why a guy didn't ask her out.

I really don’t see what is ridiculous at all when the scriptures make it quite clear we are not to worship God via the ways of pagans, and Christmas is originated from the pagan festival known as Saturnalia. It isn’t ridiculous that Christians are to not learn the way of the heathens, come up out of the world and to be set apart from it, not partake in the traditions of man. These commandments exist for the believer’s own good. Maybe to some it is ridiculous though, I don’t know..I guess it is becoming more common as we get closer to the end to heed the ways of corporate manmade religion and CEO modern pastors rather than the scriptures and the model of the first century church which believers are to emulate.

Feel superior? These are not feelings at all LOL it’s all in the scriptures which many who proclaim the faith do not bother to familiarize themselves with today. Or they just create their own religious salad, take a little bit here; some there, leave what they don’t like. I don’t feel superior about anything, which is why I converted in the first place, I know what I am.

Actually it is super helpful, if a Christian is looking for an actual Christian mate..they aren’t going to be found celebrating pagan holidays with the world. That is not being set apart from the world as the scriptures call for believers to be. At best they are going to find someone lukewarm, whom is going to lead them into sin and be spewed out with them when the day comes. The guy did her a favor by not asking her out, now she is free to go with someone better, someone with more confidence, someone who can be a spiritual asset to her in her walk rather than a detriment.

 

[mojoboy31]

I really don’t see what is ridiculous at all when the scriptures make it quite clear we are not to worship God via the ways of pagans, and Christmas is originated from the pagan festival known as Saturnalia. It isn’t ridiculous that Christians are to not learn the way of the heathens, come up out of the world and to be set apart from it, not partake in the traditions of man. These commandments exist for the believer’s own good. Maybe to some it is ridiculous though, I don’t know..I guess it is becoming more common as we get closer to the end to heed the ways of corporate manmade religion and CEO modern pastors rather than the scriptures and the model of the first century church which believers are to emulate.

Feel superior? These are not feelings at all LOL it’s all in the scriptures which many who proclaim the faith do not bother to familiarize themselves with today. Or they just create their own religious salad, take a little bit here; some there, leave what they don’t like. I don’t feel superior about anything, which is why I converted in the first place, I know what I am.

Actually it is super helpful, if a Christian is looking for an actual Christian mate..they aren’t going to be found celebrating pagan holidays with the world. That is not being set apart from the world as the scriptures call for believers to be. At best they are going to find someone lukewarm, whom is going to lead them into sin and be spewed out with them when the day comes. The guy did her a favor by not asking her out, now she is free to go with someone better, someone with more confidence, someone who can be a spiritual asset to her in her walk rather than a detriment.

One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike. Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind.

He who observes the day, observes it for the Lord, and he who eats, does so for the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who eats not, for the Lord he does not eat, and gives thanks to God.

Romans is pretty clear, it isn't as much the thing, as it is the heart.
that's fine if you don't agree with celebrating "the major holidays", but basically saying anyone that does is partaking in Paganism and should be disregarded as sinful, no. That's not what the Bible says. Even Jesus celebrated holidays with his disciples. He didn't tell them to abstain from the Passover or the Feast of the Unleavened Bread.

 

[LoveDivine]

I really don’t see what is ridiculous at all when the scriptures make it quite clear we are not to worship God via the ways of pagans, and Christmas is originated from the pagan festival known as Saturnalia. It isn’t ridiculous that Christians are to not learn the way of the heathens, come up out of the world and to be set apart from it, not partake in the traditions of man. These commandments exist for the believer’s own good. Maybe to some it is ridiculous though, I don’t know..I guess it is becoming more common as we get closer to the end to heed the ways of corporate manmade religion and CEO modern pastors rather than the scriptures and the model of the first century church which believers are to emulate.

Feel superior? These are not feelings at all LOL it’s all in the scriptures which many who proclaim the faith do not bother to familiarize themselves with today. Or they just create their own religious salad, take a little bit here; some there, leave what they don’t like. I don’t feel superior about anything, which is why I converted in the first place, I know what I am.

Actually it is super helpful, if a Christian is looking for an actual Christian mate..they aren’t going to be found celebrating pagan holidays with the world. That is not being set apart from the world as the scriptures call for believers to be. At best they are going to find someone lukewarm, whom is going to lead them into sin and be spewed out with them when the day comes. The guy did her a favor by not asking her out, now she is free to go with someone better, someone with more confidence, someone who can be a spiritual asset to her in her walk rather than a detriment.

For my entire childhood, my family's observance of Christmas did not include a tree or presents. We would focus on the reading of the portions of Scripture of the birth of Christ, sing all the great Christian hymns of Christmas, attend Christmsd services on or close to Chrismas Day, and have a nice holiday meal. That was my Christmas as a child and it was a very spiritually rich time. Oh, and I recall watching some nice Christmas specials/ cartoons. Yes, we can remember Christ's birth every day, but there is something quite special about setting aside an entire day to be joyful with family and remember Christ. As an adult, I do decorate a bit because I like the decorations, but that means very little to me and I can do without it all. Easter even more so. Nothing about those days needs to be commercialized or materialistic, etc. I would encourage the focus to be on Christ, specifically

Now if you don't feel comfortable celebrating that is fine too. I understand that. My comments about superiority are because you are posting some pretty strong things in every thread you have chosen to participate in and you are in essence dissing the rest of us for being " part of the world," simply because we observe Christmas. You are not being very charitable. Maybe you mean well and are zealous, but you are not extending grace to others.

The frustrating thing is that I actually share some of your views about the church, etc, but I can't be on your side or like what you post, because there is such an uncharitable tone to it. More important even than having the right views is having a kind spirit.

 

[Miles]

Actually it is super helpful, if a Christian is looking for an actual Christian mate..they aren’t going to be found celebrating pagan holidays with the world. That is not being set apart from the world as the scriptures call for believers to be. At best they are going to find someone lukewarm, whom is going to lead them into sin and be spewed out with them when the day comes. The guy did her a favor by not asking her out, now she is free to go with someone better, someone with more confidence, someone who can be a spiritual asset to her in her walk rather than a detriment.

In my experience, one doesn't have much to do with the other. Some strong Christians celebrate Christmas whereas other strong Christians don't. It will tell you something about what spending the holidays together will be like, but I wouldn't read into it beyond that.

 

[Citanul]

I know this is off topic, but I just want to point that the alphabet has pagan origins. So that must mean that we're being led astray by any Christians who communicate with us using it...

 

[GodBeMercifulToMeASinner]

One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike. Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind.

He who observes the day, observes it for the Lord, and he who eats, does so for the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who eats not, for the Lord he does not eat, and gives thanks to God.

Romans is pretty clear, it isn't as much the thing, as it is the heart.
that's fine if you don't agree with celebrating "the major holidays", but basically saying anyone that does is partaking in Paganism and should be disregarded as sinful, no. That's not what the Bible says. Even Jesus celebrated holidays with his disciples. He didn't tell them to abstain from the Passover or the Feast of the Unleavened Bread.

That scripture does not justify the keeping of the pagan manmade tradition of Christmas; Deuteronomy 12:4 we are not to worship God via pagan ways and anyone who has done research into the matter can not deny the origin of Christmas is pagan. All these Christmas traditions are derived from paganism.

Nowhere in the scriptures does it say Christ was born during that time of year it is a lie, along with telling children a pagan mythological man with godlike power brings them gifts..God is to be worshipped in Spirit and truth. Christmas was never ordained by God it was ordained by manmade corporate religion.

Are you telling me it is not sinful to flat out lie to children and tell them that a fat jolly man with godlike powers brings them gifts? Then once they are older and realize the pagan myth of Santa is a lie..many children who may have occasionally heard Jesus associated with this pagan festival decide for themselves later on Jesus isn’t real either just like the pagan myth of Santa Claus. I have heard nonbelievers state exactly such.

Then there’s all the gluttony, drunkenness, mass consumerism, indulgence, and various other sinful aspects. Ask yourself this now, do you believe if Christ was here on earth in human form today would He celebrate his birthday on a day he wasn’t even born on that revolves around gluttony, mass consumerism, lying, drunkenness..or even celebrate His birthday at all for that matter? You’re kidding yourself if you believe He would have anything to do with this, or Paul the Apostle for that matter..we are to emulate their examples not the poor examples of manmade corporate religion and CEO modern pastors.

Christmas is esteemed by the world therefore safe to say not so much by God.