I have a few verses that might help you out, friend.
So that you know that His blood WAS shed for you too!
"He hath made of one blood, all nations of men, to dwell on all the face of the earth." Acts 17:26 (So He is
the Creator of all)
""Have we not all one Father? Hath not one God created us?" Mal. 2:10
"Behold, all souls are mine," saith the Lord. "As the soul of the father, so also the soul of the son is mine." Ezek. 18:4
"The Father loveth the Son, and hath given all things into his hand." John 3:35 ('All things' includes 'all
people', so that includes
you!
)
Also, addressing your comment about the victims of serial killers, here is one that may edify and encourage.
"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." - 1 Corinthians 10:13 (Note that last bit, there:
"He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." That looks differently for everyone, for every kind of victim/survivor/thriver out there, but the point is that the REAL message the Bible sends is that G-D won't give us more than we can handle without HIM. We have to be willing to ask Him for help, or we absolutely
cannot make it in this life!)
There are many more verses supporting both statements you've made and addressing everything that you may be feeling, and I understand that you say you've read the Bible 5 times cover to cover... that's great!
May I ask: Did you comprehend,
on a spiritual level, the things that you were reading? It may be helpful to read about this situation:
Starting in the New Testament, the book of Acts, chapter 8, verse 30, we read what happened when Philip encountered the Ethiopian in the desert; he asked him if he
understood what he was reading... "The Spirit said to Philip, “Go over to that chariot and stay by it.”
So Philip ran up and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. “Do you understand what you are reading?” Philip asked. “How can I,” he said, “unless someone guides me?” And he invited Philip to come up and sit with him.…"
It is great to read the Bible, for sure! I think what might be helpful for you is asking the Holy Spirit to guide your reading, and if emotions are overwhelming you at this time then finding another Believer that you can trust (even if it's only online, like on these forums) is good because then you can lean on them to guide your reading and pray with you before and after. Always pray in the name of Jesus for understanding of His Word so that He might open your eyes to things that you haven't seen before.
G-D always gives abundantly above and beyond what we are able to ask or imagine! And Jesus said, "You have not because you ask not, so ask that you might receive in full measure."
I have actually been feeling like a total loser myself for at least a year now, but you know what? El Shaddai, the Almighty, L-RD of Heavens and Earth, is
good!!! He created you and He loves you, and that won't change because of anything you do or don't do,
ever.
I pray the L-RD's blessings of peace and wisdom upon you, in the name of Jesus. Father, please open the eyes of his heart that he might see You, the ears of his heart that he might hear You, and send many good angels to him and much guidance from the Holy Spirit, that he might come to full knowledge of the peace and love and grace, -
endless multitude of Blessings!!- that You have in store for him. In JESUS' Holy Name!! Amein.
Shalom to you, not-a-loser!!! *hugs*
-Sarah
