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Why are parents not teaching sex education.

Discussion in 'Congregation-specific Ethics' started by Paradox.79, Jul 30, 2021.

  1. Paradox.79

    Paradox.79 Member

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    I have heard all the arguments now here are the facts. Your teens are having sex, my first sexual encounter was with a girl at church. My parents taught me about condoms. It is not just pregnancy. There is a disease it is called HIV and it is still fatal properly used condoms are 90/95 percent effective against stds such as HIV. And please no ( well our kids should obey the bible...when you hit puberty your hormones go insane, you do stuff without thinking about the consequences...your kids will look at you and say yes mom and dad i will never have sex...your kids are lying. Proper sex education helps prevent, stds, unwanted pregnancies, and even rape. It is not just about the bible or pregnancy. Preparing your children for the real world can literally save there life. I had few friends from childhood who dies from HIV, your want to know what is sad, they all came from a Christian family and was taught abstinence only...WHICH DOES NOT WORK!!!!! Children especially teenagers are going to screw up...it is our job as parents to make sure our kids are prepared. My mom was almost raped in college, she told the guy she had herpes he needed to use a condom. She did not and she was hoping it would help protect her either the guy would back off or use a condom and she would not get pregnant or an std. Her father grandfather made sure his daughter knew how to protect herself, my mom did the the same with her daughter. Why are Christian parent not protecting there children. You tell your kids the risks, they should wait for marriage, but if they are not going to they should at least know about birth control
     
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  2. Old Lady

    Old Lady ...yet not I, but the grace of God that is with me Supporter

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    A small minority of teens take the Bible seriously and avoid sex. My parents were not Christians. I didn't want to bring a baby into the world and risk the baby growing up without a father. I'm still irritated that friends of my father assumed I was pregnant at age 17, because I wore a very beautiful loose fitting dress! I was a virgin! I don't know what my father thought. My stepmother who didn't like me told me that his friend(s) wanted to know. People are snotty and want to gossip. I don't think explaining sex to kids is going to cause them to obey God or use protection.
     
  3. timothyu

    timothyu Well-Known Member

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    Don't babies get ordered online?
     
  4. Sabertooth

    Sabertooth Repartee Animal: Quipping the Saints! Supporter

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    For my children, I answered their questions in a straightforward fashion.
    How does sex work?
    How do contraceptives work?
    (If they would have asked) what do STDs do...?

    Here is one that I never volunteered:
    If you want to have sex (outside of marriage) with minimal consequences, here's what you have to do...*

    Even before I learned that fornication was wrong, I did not want to make a baby that I could not be daddy to.

    I believe that caution due to STDs & pregnancy is a healthy deterrent, even if I speak to those subjects generally.

    *Bearing in mind Luke 17:1-2.
     
  5. Sabertooth

    Sabertooth Repartee Animal: Quipping the Saints! Supporter

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    Baby Review: Cheapest vs Most Expensive BABY on Amazon.com
     
  6. Paradox.79

    Paradox.79 Member

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    I am not worried about the minority. Ive lost friends to HIV and if there parents had done there job and explained contraceptives odds are there kids my friends would still be alive. We assume teens are having sex cause many do, HIV is fatal and if you do not know you have it you can spread it. I explained sex to my kids, I explained the risks, I explained contraceptives, my daughter has also be taught self defense, how to use a knife. My comfort and personal beliefs are not more important than my child's life. It is a parents job to make sure there kids have all the information they need to protect themselves. It honestly is not about pregnancy, that is the least of the problems a sexual active person has to deal with.
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2021
  7. timothyu

    timothyu Well-Known Member

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    It is interesting how the old old saying of 'you play, you pay' is even more relevant these days.
     
  8. Paradox.79

    Paradox.79 Member

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    Tim it is a parents responsibility to make sure there kids have all the tools needed to make a educated decision. Teenagers do not think about consequences there thinking with there hormones. Basically what your saying is if a parent does not tell there teen child lets say there 14 and they sex (sadly that happens) and they do not use condoms, there partners has HIV, and its the kids fault. It is that mind set that makes people back away from Christianity. LET ME SAY IT PLAIN, UNTIL YOUR CHILD IS AN ADULT YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ACTIONS FOR DECISIONS THEY MAKE. IT IS A PARENTS JOB TO EDUCATE THERE CHILDREN!!! And legally as well, parents are many times forced to make restitution for there children's stupidity
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2021
  9. coffee4u

    coffee4u Well-Known Member

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    How insulting you are to all the teens and adults who take purity seriously.
    Stop assuming every single teen has sex.
    I taught my children God's standards. My daughter like myself takes purity seriously as do the celibate members on here. There are even members on here who did not even kiss before marriage. I don't personally feel that is needed, but more power to them if that was their decision.

    No one is saying teens should be uneducated but stop judging others
    by your own poor standards.
    "Your teens are having sex, my first sexual encounter was with a girl at church."

    Lets get down to it, you have poor moral standards. You sinned. Own it and repent of it. No one is perfect, we have all fallen short over one thing or another.
    By saying everyone else does sex/drugs/drinking/insert sin of choice" you are trying to remove your own guilt by normalizing it.
    If you have not actively repented of that sexual encounter with that girl at church I suggest that you do.
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2021
  10. bèlla

    bèlla ❤️ Supporter

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    I don't understand this OP. Is it a rant, warning, or something else? To assume all teens are sexually active is errant. To say Christian parents aren't educating their children is equally wrong. We should temper our accusations with truth.

    Thus, this is my experience growing up in a Christian environment, as a parent, and what I've seen from those I've known. That's a drop in the bucket and wouldn't represent the whole.

    I've never made out in church. Nor could I wrap my mind around the concept. And I wasn't scouting for partners either. Physical or otherwise. My mind was on God and so was my daughter's. Everyone isn't burning with passion or longing to sow their oats.

    Some people are more controlled. Some desire abstinence or celibacy. We haven't all gone a.w.o.l.

    ~bella
     
  11. Paradox.79

    Paradox.79 Member

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    You do not know that about your teen unless you can be around them 24/7 and that is near impossible. I was not bragging I was trying to make a point...teenagers do stupid stuff. You said you play you pay. That is near exactly what is said to women who are raped, she dressed sexy and went to a party so she deserved it. She played so she pays. I encourage my kids to wait for marriage but I know I can control every aspect of there life so I MAKE SURE THERE PROPERLY ARMED TO DEAL WITH LIFE!!!!
     
  12. Old Lady

    Old Lady ...yet not I, but the grace of God that is with me Supporter

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    My sister was a Mormon n the sense that she was a member, did not care what the requirements were to be a member in good standing, wasn't interested in temple marriage or reading books by Mormon authors, brushed off the warnings I told when I was also a Mormon, thought people would be extremely happy in a lower kingdom than the celestial, etc. She believed that sex before marriage was very normal. We were trying to raise our children in a nearby vicinity. Her husband was a child molestor but she was in vehement denial. She criticized nearly every decision my husband and I made. Her deranged husband was obviously mentally deficient or ill. He echoed everything she said. I was told by her that I shouldn't spend my husband's money on attractive items for our home, that military doctors were incompetent, that the real estate agents we hired were wrong, etc. So when our children became teenagers, she told them that they didn't need to obey their parents. My husband reported to Child Protective Services that her husband had broken their son's arm. Things were worse after that. I wouldn't share this if my sister hadn't died at age 45. Her children moved away, are not Mormons, and are not in touch with their father or any other relatives.

    So I couldn't teach my children anything about sex. They didn't care what I said. Every person's home life and ability to talk to their teens is different. :( Even my adult children aren't interested in my views.

    I'm not saying that parents shouldn't talk to their kids. But in some families it's like sharing the gospel with someone who doesn't have ears to hear.
     
  13. Paradox.79

    Paradox.79 Member

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    I made the post cause nearly every kid I grew up with and we went to church together had sex before marriage as teens, several pregnancy's two HIV cases. All you have to do is read the news.
     
  14. bèlla

    bèlla ❤️ Supporter

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    I don't know your experiences. But I don't know anyone who's HIV positive or with AIDS and I've known many who danced on the fringes.

    You're making gross assumptions. Just because someone believes in God doesn't mean they're in a Christian commune. I wasn't and nor was my daughter. I think a lot of this is unhealthy and that's putting it mildly.

    Just because someone professes a belief in Christ doesn't mean I bring them to my bosom. I sift them like the rest.

    ~bella
     
  15. coffee4u

    coffee4u Well-Known Member

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    I never said anywhere you play you pay. Reflecting back your own sin onto others does not work. You need to repent of it.

    No woman deserves to be raped but that is completely different topic to teenagers, who according to you all have lose morals.

    No, all teenagers do not have lose morals nor all adults. Stop assuming everyone feels the way you feel.

    It's not just a mater of encouraging waiting on marriage (although that is certainly good) It is about coming to Christ.
    Romans 10:9
    If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.


    Only through Christ can a person find strength-if indeed sexual sin is their weakness, it is not so for everyone.
    Not everyone is interested or driven by sexual desire. Your generalizations make a liar out of those who are either not interested, asexual and those who remain pure through Christ.


    If a person is not born again then all you have to offer them are good sounding suggestions. Through Christ you have the power of the Holy Spirit.
     
  16. coffee4u

    coffee4u Well-Known Member

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    Well that is extremely sad, and were any of those teens born again? Where they living their lives for Christ or for themselves?
     
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  17. bèlla

    bèlla ❤️ Supporter

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    Why were you keeping company with them? Where were your parents? Were you taught the merits of character and acceptable bonds? If you weren’t, why not?

    There’s something profoundly amiss if all your associations were wayward. How it hapoened on their watch is troubling. Parents should know who their children spend time with. And that knowing should go beyond a familiar face in the local church.

    Perhaps if they were more diligent and discriminating about the company you kept, you wouldn’t have been subjected to those experiences. Children learn what they live.

    ~bella
     
  18. splish- splash

    splish- splash Now, here's the deal (by His word). Supporter

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    The problem is, God can not compromise, when it comes to sin. Yet If we put our trust in Him fully, by committing our kids into His hands, like we should, He will take care of them, the whole time.
     
  19. timothyu

    timothyu Well-Known Member

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    How many parents teach that the will of man is not the will of God, that the will of man is inherently selfish and seeks gain at the expense of others. How many parents were even taught this?
     
  20. Will Joseph

    Will Joseph New Member

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    I also wish sexual education was taught more. I only had a short session in school about STIs, and that was it.

    Some people may say that young people have strong hormones, so sexual education just wouldn't work. I feel that's like saying "Don't teach kids to play around windows because that won't work." Of course parents tell their kids to not play around windows, though some kids unfortunately still fall out of them. If people taught teens the dangers of sex (like STIs, sexual cannibalism, prostitution, and etc) then I feel that teens would learn to fear sex like a window.

    Because the reality is that teens learn eventually, and sometimes through the worst ways like paying money to a prostitute for Herpes or being robbed after a one-night stand. If nobody teaches a teen that sex is dangerous, bad, or should be avoided; then what would protect a teen from another teen who says "sex isn't bad" or "sexual acts are bad but I'm not performing a sexual act." Some parents might not need to teach about STIs because their kid would obey them: "My parent told me that sex is sinful, so don't touch me." Yet a sinful teen can be like a snake in a garden and will try many different ways to fool another teen.

    In my society, I feel that females are given more informal sexual education than males, though the education is probably mostly about pregnancy or rape and not about other broader issues like STIs. My own sexual education began with pregnancy and rape, but I realized that those were mostly dangers for women and did not really apply to or threaten me.

    In my society, it seems like males make a lot more sexual mistakes than females. It's as if men are societally allowed to be sexual or to make sexual mistakes, and I don't like my society much for endangering males like that. Some societies might be afraid to thoroughly teach sexual education because such might make people fear sex. In fact, I've somewhat educated myself to that extend and would rather adopt than have sex.

    There are some parents who do formally teach kids about the dangers of sex, including some broad understanding of sex or sexual actions. The Abstinence approach is not bad and I actually love it because it 100% guarantees no STIs unlike condoms. When I was reading about diseases from government websites, some of those websites included abstinence as an STI prevention method. But again, a teen would need to be quite devote and faithful because some sinful teens are very good at tricking people. The tricks are sometimes even an art or sport, and some societies encourage or protect them.

    Some kids are fortunate enough to be taught through rejection, but females are not responsible for sexual education. A woman can sooner make a false rape accusation than she just tells a man to stop following her. And some people even take advantage or prey on other people who are not sexually educated, like exchanging Syphilis for money. There are even some people who'd refuse to disclose their herpes status before sex: the lack of education can be endangering. If teens are not educated about sex, then criminals will take the role and proactively educate teens through porn, sexual street music, and etc. There are laws protecting teens from such sexual misguidance but criminals don't care, especially in bad neighborhoods.

    My dad left when I was a kid, so I had to learn about the dangers of sex by myself. Before I formally educated myself, I learned the hard way and made many mistakes. I'm thankful that I wasn't too foolish: most of my sexuality was verbally communicated.
     
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