• The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.

    If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.

    If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.

    Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist

Where to go from here...

NW82

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I've posted before and not really gotten any direction. I've gotten the usual platitudes but no real direction. I'm clearly not doing things correct and prayer isn't working on getting direction either. I'm just going through the motions every day. Last week I never even left my apartment. I feel like I'm in a blank haze of nothingness.
  • I'm alone
  • No one ever reaches out to me
  • I offer support to others, but never really get any in return
  • My brother has everything, and I have nothing and I don't know why
  • My ex-wife cheated and left, that was 10 years ago and I still don't know why
  • The only other person I've loved wants nothing to do with me
  • I have no friends and those that claim to be never contact me
  • I used to love my work, now I hate it
  • I don't even want to get up in the morning anymore
I'm alone, nothing I do works, and I don't want to die alone, but I'm feel like that's the only option. If you have the usual platitudes, I've heard them before, so please save you and I some time and don't post. If you have something that actually produces results I'd like to hear it.
 

NW82

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No church in the area I've found that actually follows the Bible, but I don't want to get into a denominational debate. Family just repeats the same old platitudes and doesn't actually provide actionable feedback.
 
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royal priest

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No church in the area I've found that actually follows the Bible, but I don't want to get into a denominational debate. Family just repeats the same old platitudes and doesn't actually provide actionable feedback.
You're expecting too much. We deserve Hell for our sins, but He has promised Heaven. This world will only disappoint. Just as well, otherwise we become too attached to it. Set your mind on things above where your real treasure is. Seek that kingdom first and all else will fall into place. It's a matter of perspective, really. A Biblical perspective.
 
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anna ~ grace

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I've posted before and not really gotten any direction. I've gotten the usual platitudes but no real direction. I'm clearly not doing things correct and prayer isn't working on getting direction either. I'm just going through the motions every day. Last week I never even left my apartment. I feel like I'm in a blank haze of nothingness.
  • I'm alone
  • No one ever reaches out to me
  • I offer support to others, but never really get any in return
  • My brother has everything, and I have nothing and I don't know why
  • My ex-wife cheated and left, that was 10 years ago and I still don't know why
  • The only other person I've loved wants nothing to do with me
  • I have no friends and those that claim to be never contact me
  • I used to love my work, now I hate it
  • I don't even want to get up in the morning anymore
I'm alone, nothing I do works, and I don't want to die alone, but I'm feel like that's the only option. If you have the usual platitudes, I've heard them before, so please save you and I some time and don't post. If you have something that actually produces results I'd like to hear it.
Sometimes life kind of stinks. And we're lonely. And nothing goes our way. And we have no friends or family. And no fellowship with other Christians. And we feel like losers. I get that. So, why get up? The only answer that helps me most days is "Follow Christ". He is worth it. Yes, it is incredibly hard some days. And lonely. But, He is also walking next to us. He loves us, and wants us to follow Him to get to Heaven. Heaven will be worth it. Christ is worth it.
 
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NW82

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I just saw that you had -or have two kids.
How could you say that you only love one other person? You are still young. Do you see/talk to your children as they are growing up?
Step kids whose mother cut me off from right after the divorce so no.
 
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NW82

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You're expecting too much. We deserve Hell for our sins, but He has promised Heaven. This world will only disappoint. Just as well, otherwise we become too attached to it. Set your mind on things above where your real treasure is. Seek that kingdom first and all else will fall into place. It's a matter of perspective, really. A Biblical perspective.
Care to actually explain this? By the reasoning most understand, from your statement which I've heard before, we shouldn't care about anything at all...health, family, friends, good works, bad works, anything in this world. You are married, apparently, so why are you? Why is ok for you to have that and not ok for me to want that? Your words and actions contradict.
 
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NW82

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Sometimes life kind of stinks. And we're lonely. And nothing goes our way. And we have no friends or family. And no fellowship with other Christians. And we feel like losers. I get that. So, why get up? The only answer that helps me most days is "Follow Christ". He is worth it. Yes, it is incredibly hard some days. And lonely. But, He is also walking next to us. He loves us, and wants us to follow Him to get to Heaven. Heaven will be worth it. Christ is worth it.
IF He is walking next to me, then why exactly do I feel like I'm in a black hole? Shouldn't He at least say something to me....anything?!
 
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anna ~ grace

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IF He is walking next to me, then why exactly do I feel like I'm in a black hole? Shouldn't He at least say something to me....anything?!
He does, Sir. He says "Come, follow Me. Help Me carry My Cross". It is hard, life is hard. Sometimes we lose or seem to lose everything. But we often have a few things left.

Doing the right thing in Christ may not always feel good. Many, many souls have gone through a great, dark night of the soul. It feels like nothing is working anymore. But it still is.
 
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NW82

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He does, Sir. He says "Come, follow Me. Help Me carry My Cross". It is hard, life is hard. Sometimes we lose or seem to lose everything. But we often have a few things left.
Life is hard, but for some it is harder than others, where is the rationale in that? Why must things be more difficult for some than others? What are they doing so right that they get it easier? And no, that's not a rhetorical question.

Doing the right thing in Christ may not always feel good. Many, many souls have gone through a great, dark night of the soul. It feels like nothing is working anymore. But it still is.
You do realize that the "other people have it bad too" argument means absolutely zero to the person in pain? That is a standard platitude that many use to try and rationalize a situation they either don't want to understand or to make the person in pain to shut up so they don't want to deal with it.
 
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anna ~ grace

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Life is hard, but for some it is harder than others, where is the rationale in that? Why must things be more difficult for some than others? What are they doing so right that they get it easier? And no, that's not a rhetorical question.

From what I can see, many people who have it better than us aren't doing things right spiritually.

You do realize that the "other people have it bad too" argument means absolutely zero to the person in pain? That is a standard platitude that many use to try and rationalize a situation they either don't want to understand or to make the person in pain to shut up so they don't want to deal with it.

That's not what I meant, Sir. Just that feeling like you're in a totally dark place is actually pretty normal. It doesn't mean you're a bad Christian, or doing anything wrong. It can be a sign that you're doing everything right.
 
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royal priest

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Care to actually explain this? By the reasoning most understand, from your statement which I've heard before, we shouldn't care about anything at all...health, family, friends, good works, bad works, anything in this world. You are married, apparently, so why are you? Why is ok for you to have that and not ok for me to want that? Your words and actions contradict.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't live. I am saying that life does not consist in the abundance of our possessions. The things of this world should not be what determines our degree of contentment. The fact that God isn't dealing with us according to our sins should be enough to delete every urge to complain.
My wife and I would love to have children, but we can't. Does that make us sad? VERY! But how can we become bitter towards God when He is saving us from our sins? Please God, bring sorrow, need, and death if it means having Christ as my Savior!
Paul said it best:
2 Corinthians 4:17
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison
I will pray for you tonight, my brother. May God be pleased to ease your burdens.
 
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anna ~ grace

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There is a good book that you might like. It is called "Come Be My Light", about Teresa of Calcutta. She helped me understand and weigh the value of some of the things that I had been through and was feeling since becoming a Christian. It is certainly worth reading, especially for those suffering more than they feel that they can handle, and asking why.
 
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maintenance man

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I'm alone, nothing I do works, and I don't want to die alone, but I'm feel like that's the only option. If you have the usual platitudes, I've heard them before, so please save you and I some time and don't post. If you have something that actually produces results I'd like to hear it.

I honestly feel your pain. I think most of the people posting above this post do as well.

We can't help you. Only you can help you.

Have you heard this platitude? God is going to have a hard time helping you if you have shifted into park and set the brake. God will be of much more value to you if you start moving. Or how about this one? If you're going to pray for better crops you better say amen with a hoe in your hand.

My advice to you is to make a change in your life - a BIG change. Move to another town. Get a new job. start some kind of training or school. Don't start listing all the reasons you can't do any of this - start listing all the ways you could make a BIG change happen.

You need a new perspective.
 
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NW82

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I honestly feel your pain. I think most of the people posting above this post do as well.

We can't help you. Only you can help you.

Have you heard this platitude? God is going to have a hard time helping you if you have shifted into park and set the brake. God will be of much more value to you if you start moving. Or how about this one? If you're going to pray for better crops you better say amen with a hoe in your hand.

My advice to you is to make a change in your life - a BIG change. Move to another town. Get a new job. start some kind of training or school. Don't start listing all the reasons you can't do any of this - start listing all the ways you could make a BIG change happen.

You need a new perspective.

My perspective isn't the problem. Just last year I moved 3000 miles and took a new job to make a change, mainly because I fully believed that it was what God wanted me to do...and guess what I'm still alone and hopeless. Nothing changed, even though I literally moved across the country and took a new job. I'm looking at facts not perception.
 
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maintenance man

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My perspective isn't the problem. Just last year I moved 3000 miles and took a new job to make a change, mainly because I fully believed that it was what God wanted me to do...and guess what I'm still alone and hopeless. Nothing changed, even though I literally moved across the country and took a new job. I'm looking at facts not perception.

Keep in mind I don't know any more about you than the few lines I've read in this thread, but from my limited point of view I think the fact is your perception is clouded and this is causing you pain - pain that is an absolute fact. Certainly you can agree there are many people in this world much worse off than you who are not feeling this pain. It just seems to me (and I fully admit I can be completely wrong) that it is more likely your fault than God's fault.

I think it's fantastic you had the courage to move across the country and start over. The fact that there is as yet no change in your pain does not mean that change is not on the way.

Have you tried an online dating service?
 
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