Where does one go for advice in dealing with a very serious problem?

[WindHund]

An event has occurred within my family that is ethically lacking. Two of the participants are even SDA ministers. I am very torn by what to do about this and feel doing nothing is just as wrong as their act. I also tend to believe this is being done to hide their behavior from superiors in SDA administration. Within the body of SDA believers who are also very traditional SDA (no liberal, sin until Jesus comes type of helpers wanted), who would you go to for advice. I have prayed much about this and doing nothing is the one thing I feel not led to do.

 

[Brian Mcnamee]

you do not mention the sin they are involved in or ethics they are breaking so the 1st thing is to decide how severe is what they are doing and that will dictate your approach. If it is something serious that would disqualify them from leadership you need to have solid proof and bring it up with a leader perhaps from another congregation or even go higher up. If it is something not quite so serious you need to approach them in a loving manner and point out the problem and hold them accountable to change. If they do not you come back with two or three other brothers and confront them again. The goal is always to restore one back to a clean straight walk and not bring condemnation. Certain actions have higher consequences. Having your sin come out in the open is a good thing in that it brings you to an intersection of change.

 

[WindHund]

removed public comment, but to serious response may go over a basic description of the behavior

 

[Endeavourer]

I saw your comment before it was removed, but have been puzzled about how that benefits the person doing the wrong. It would seem like a burden more than a benefit. What's in it for him? Why does he want to take on that outcome? If you're uncomfortable relating in a public forum, just message me.

 

[Gary K]

An event has occurred within my family that is ethically lacking. Two of the participants are even SDA ministers. I am very torn by what to do about this and feel doing nothing is just as wrong as their act. I also tend to believe this is being done to hide their behavior from superiors in SDA administration. Within the body of SDA believers who are also very traditional SDA (no liberal, sin until Jesus comes type of helpers wanted), who would you go to for advice. I have prayed much about this and doing nothing is the one thing I feel not led to do.

Do you have no close friend/s with whom you can discuss whatever this is? The chance of finding someone online who is trustworthy is small, at least in my experience as there is way too much anonymity. Is there no one else in your family who has a problem with what has happened and with whom you can discuss things? How about your extended family? Is there a church elder you can trust?

How about taking Paul's advice and going directly to those who are doing wrong and discussing it with them, and then taking it up the chain Paul recommended if there is no resolution?

Doing nothing when you observe something bad is just as wrong as the act itself. The reason there is so much sin in the camp now is because no one wants to talk about it. Just remember doing the right thing is in itself it's own reward, because there are those who will dislike you and want to censure you for doing what you think is right if there is a resulting controversy.

 

[BobRyan]

An event has occurred within my family that is ethically lacking. Two of the participants are even SDA ministers. I am very torn by what to do about this and feel doing nothing is just as wrong as their act. I also tend to believe this is being done to hide their behavior from superiors in SDA administration. Within the body of SDA believers who are also very traditional SDA (no liberal, sin until Jesus comes type of helpers wanted), who would you go to for advice. I have prayed much about this and doing nothing is the one thing I feel not led to do.

If it is a local congregation then go to the Ministerial secretary of your local conference. Generally speaking the Ministerial department is pretty easy for Pastors to talk to and relate to.

 

[Dave-W]

Matt 18.15 “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

 

[Gary K]

Matt 18.15 “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

Yes. The Bible has laid out what we should do. I mistakenly said it was Paul, but this is what I was referring to.

 

[Daniel Marsh]

speak with a policeman

 

[Clint Edwards]

An event has occurred within my family that is ethically lacking. Two of the participants are even SDA ministers. I am very torn by what to do about this and feel doing nothing is just as wrong as their act. I also tend to believe this is being done to hide their behavior from superiors in SDA administration. Within the body of SDA believers who are also very traditional SDA (no liberal, sin until Jesus comes type of helpers wanted), who would you go to for advice. I have prayed much about this and doing nothing is the one thing I feel not led to do.

I am no longer an Adventist, since the true Gospel found me. I peruse here, with no intent to post, however, your question kindled a never ending memory from when I was an elder in my SDA Church. Allow me to share it and my advice, for what it is worth. I once had a problem that I wanted to discuss and seek guidance from my Pastor. I sat down with him, and ensured he knew the discussion was a privileged one, one he could not discuss with anyone else. Three days after our discussion, at a board meeting I missed, he told the entire board the content of our discussion, within a week it was common knowledge in the entire church, but of course it was being twisted, changed and embellished. I told a very dear friend who had been a conference president for some years about it. He gave me this wise advice, " A catholic priest will die before he divulges the content of a private privileged communication, an Adventist pastor will die if he cannot tell it to someone" Be very careful about discussing things, especially sensitive things in the Adventist Church. You have a responsibility to ensure that those gone astray can come back to the right path. Nevertheless, I tell you from the experience of many years in Adventism, politics and retribution rear their ugly heads way too often. Peace to you

 

[tall73]

I am no longer an Adventist, since the true Gospel found me. I peruse here, with no intent to post, however, your question kindled a never ending memory from when I was an elder in my SDA Church. Allow me to share it and my advice, for what it is worth. I once had a problem that I wanted to discuss and seek guidance from my Pastor. I sat down with him, and ensured he knew the discussion was a privileged one, one he could not discuss with anyone else. Three days after our discussion, at a board meeting I missed, he told the entire board the content of our discussion, within a week it was common knowledge in the entire church, but of course it was being twisted, changed and embellished. I told a very dear friend who had been a conference president for some years about it. He gave me this wise advice, " A catholic priest will die before he divulges the content of a private privileged communication, an Adventist pastor will die if he cannot tell it to someone" Be very careful about discussing things, especially sensitive things in the Adventist Church. You have a responsibility to ensure that those gone astray can come back to the right path. Nevertheless, I tell you from the experience of many years in Adventism, politics and retribution rear their ugly heads way too often. Peace to you

I am also a former Adventist. But there are many honest people who will hold a confidence in the Adventist church. And there are many people outside of it who won't.

People have a sinful nature wherever you go. And you will find both types in and out of the SDA church.

 

[Clint Edwards]

I am also a former Adventist. But there are many honest people who will hold a confidence in the Adventist church. And there are many people outside of it who won't.

People have a sinful nature wherever you go. And you will find both types in and out of the SDA church.

I agree totally. Most of my friends are SDA and the Adventist sub culture is great. My leaving wasn't because of the people, it was because of the many errors in the theology.

 

[BobRyan]

An event has occurred within my family that is ethically lacking. Two of the participants are even SDA ministers. I am very torn by what to do about this and feel doing nothing is just as wrong as their act. I also tend to believe this is being done to hide their behavior from superiors in SDA administration. Within the body of SDA believers who are also very traditional SDA (no liberal, sin until Jesus comes type of helpers wanted), who would you go to for advice. I have prayed much about this and doing nothing is the one thing I feel not led to do.

someone on the board of elders for your local church. Then the next step is the ministerial secretary for the conference they belong to -

 

[BobRyan]

I am also a former Adventist. But there are many honest people who will hold a confidence in the Adventist church. And there are many people outside of it who won't.

People have a sinful nature wherever you go. And you will find both types in and out of the SDA church.

Hey - glad to see you can post on this forum.

 

[tall73]

Hey - glad to see you can post on this forum.

Only in fellowship.