Actually, it can take one to know one. And if we dictate standards which are not love values of the Bible, then we are not looking in the right place. Plus, there are people who very cleverly go where unloving people are, and say oh look at those fake Christians, and they tidily stay away from the ones who are gentle and humble and quiet.
"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)
People can fear being quiet, because they can be attacked and violated by boredom and loneliness while they start to be quiet. But this is meant to keep them from becoming deeply quiet and sensitive with God Himself in us. Satan brings many unquiet things to violate and molest and rape people. And people give in to it > unforgiveness, bitterness, raging anger, dominating and dictatorial drives for pleasure and adrenaline rushes . . . so they do not settle down and submit to God in His peace. And they also can very cleverly pay attention only to the hypocritical people who make their show, and ignore the ones who are gentle and humble and quiet.
Plus, there are cruelly clever people who will say you "hate" them when you point out that wrong things are wrong. Little kids can use this trick > a caring mother or father says no, and the child screams how you "hate" him or her. And there are adults who still do this!!
So, if what you are doing is not working to get you with God and find genuinely loving people, it is because what you are doing does not work.
What does not work is making a project of pointing at the counterfeits. If you have a million dollars available to you, do you point at the counterfeits and say there is no such thing as real money?
So, yes I need real correction which only God can do in us. When I first wake up each day, I still need to stop and trust God to correct me more. I can fool my own self and not know it; I can be my own counterfeit, of self-produced stuff so inferior to all God's grace does in people, as the Bible says.
But I do keep finding that God does change me more and more to do what His word says. So, do not be fooled by how you or others fail; what else is new? We all do. But God succeeds in us.