Where are the men of God who will wait for sex???

[lovely182]

Hello brothers and sisters,

I write this in frustration and with pain in my heart. I just don't understand why there are so many men who will not abstain from sex until marriage. It hurts my heart because I want so much to please God in this way. I am not a virgin but I will never again give my body to someone outside of marriage. I am single and it is so hard meeting men, even men who call themselves Christians, who want to do the right thing. Why can't we just live right and do the right thing? Am I wrong or does not God want us to wait for marriage??

I met a guy and we liked each other but yesterday he told me that he could never marry someone without having sex with them first. It hurts so much because everyone that I personally know who are engaged are having sex. IT JUST SEEMS LIKE THE WOMEN WHO ARE HAVING SEX ARE THE WOMEN WHO ARE GETTING MARRIED AND PROPOSED TO. IT DOESN'T SEEM FAIR. I HURT FOR TRYING TO LIVE THE RIGHT WAY.

It seems like I am left alone because I won't have sex. Many women also have sex before marriage which makes it even harder for other women who want to wait. Men have so many options because of women who choose to engage in premarital sex. I just feel if more women would wait until marriage, men would be forced to change their ways. As of now, they don't have to.

I am in tears right now because I just don't understand it. I just wish there were more men of God who would stand up for what is right. I desire marriage but I have never met a man who wanted to wait for sex. It just hurts.

 

[Krillin]

Read the book of Ruth. It's not long and won't take up much time. She had to wait a good while, but God eventually brought her a righteous man in her life.

A lot of men struggle with sexual urges. The men you describe seem like people you just shouldn't be around at all, however. When people ask "where the good men/women are" I just have to suggest that maybe you are looking in the wrong place?

You have repented of your old ways. This is good. And you have great integrity to not give in to the world around you. I would encourage you to keep going on like you are, even if it hurts. Remember: Isaiah 40:31.

Don't lose heart.

 

[timf]

he told me that he could never marry someone without having sex with them first.

He did you a big favor by showing you what was exactly in his heart. It is much more painful for a woman to be seduced into thinking that this is the one only to find out after giving in that she is dumped.

We live in a world that is rapidly rejecting Christ. This darkness is made manifest in many ways. I suspect that the reason Satan is so quickly using his resources to make homosexuality more acceptable is that the rapid number of people abandoning Jesus will result in many more homosexuals. He is sort of preparing for their arrival. In Romans we see that God has a judicial consequence for those who reject even the knowledge of him.

Romans 1:25-28 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

There are many people who have a "reprobate mind". Satan has built a society unlike any that has existed in history. People do not look first to their families for their idea of what is right, they look around them and see what others do so that they can fit in. Francis Schaeffer once said, "If you lose absolute values by which to judge society, society becomes the absolute value."

There may be other manifestations of a reprobate mind. Alcoholism, drug abuse, and wanton fornication may also be considered "those things which are not convenient".

Even people who profess to be Christian can be carried along with these powerful social currents. The man you met should be ashamed. He told you that he is looking to find someone in a way similar to trying on different shoes. He does not even understand that a marriage is supposed to be about more than a brief physical coupling. What he shared with you was a glimpse into an empty soul, so devoid of anything meaningful that it is almost as if he is a vampire. Run away as fast as you can.

Many Christians have been imprinted with the idea that the world is getting better and better. Our technology would seem to support this view. However, if we see the world in truth, we can see a rapidly descending darkness. We should not be surprised in such a world that those who want to remain faithful would be difficult to find.

Many people think that they live in a world of harmony and civility. They should consider that this world (if it ever really existed) is being overrun by hordes of plundering invaders who laugh at anyone who would deny immediate gratification of any desire.

Christians who expect that the world will be good are going to get trampled or worse. Those few left who seek the light and love of Jesus need more than ever to find each other and cling to the truth in a world that increasingly hates truth. The world is returning to its natural state.

Be thankful for those who are honest about their desires. They help you avoid entanglements that can cause a lifetime of regret.

 

[Queen of the Highway]

Hello brothers and sisters,

I write this in frustration and with pain in my heart. I just don't understand why there are so many men who will not abstain from sex until marriage. It hurts my heart because I want so much to please God in this way. I am not a virgin but I will never again give my body to someone outside of marriage. I am single and it is so hard meeting men, even men who call themselves Christians, who want to do the right thing. Why can't we just live right and do the right thing? Am I wrong or does not God want us to wait for marriage??

I met a guy and we liked each other but yesterday he told me that he could never marry someone without having sex with them first. It hurts so much because everyone that I personally know who are engaged are having sex. IT JUST SEEMS LIKE THE WOMEN WHO ARE HAVING SEX ARE THE WOMEN WHO ARE GETTING MARRIED AND PROPOSED TO. IT DOESN'T SEEM FAIR. I HURT FOR TRYING TO LIVE THE RIGHT WAY.

It seems like I am left alone because I won't have sex. Many women also have sex before marriage which makes it even harder for other women who want to wait. Men have so many options because of women who choose to engage in premarital sex. I just feel if more women would wait until marriage, men would be forced to change their ways. As of now, they don't have to.

I am in tears right now because I just don't understand it. I just wish there were more men of God who would stand up for what is right. I desire marriage but I have never met a man who wanted to wait for sex. It just hurts.

Today is the day of the harlot of babylon, the one who calls herself a queen and says there is no other (eg, God). So, there is a lot of whoring out to philosophies and demonic doctrines. The men are impure and the women are impure. This is further reflected in their willingness to sleep around as if they are animals that have no master.

Not much to say on this, otherwise, you can always try simply focusing on God and making sure your flame of love remains burning for God.

In that way almost everyone is a virgin, and they do not yet know what "not being a virgin" will be.

 

[abacabb3]

I did and so did my wife, and we got married relatively old 27/23. Do so not to get a man, but to show obedience to God.

 

[RDKirk]

Hello brothers and sisters,

I write this in frustration and with pain in my heart. I just don't understand why there are so many men who will not abstain from sex until marriage. It hurts my heart because I want so much to please God in this way. I am not a virgin but I will never again give my body to someone outside of marriage. I am single and it is so hard meeting men, even men who call themselves Christians, who want to do the right thing. Why can't we just live right and do the right thing? Am I wrong or does not God want us to wait for marriage??

I met a guy and we liked each other but yesterday he told me that he could never marry someone without having sex with them first. It hurts so much because everyone that I personally know who are engaged are having sex. IT JUST SEEMS LIKE THE WOMEN WHO ARE HAVING SEX ARE THE WOMEN WHO ARE GETTING MARRIED AND PROPOSED TO. IT DOESN'T SEEM FAIR. I HURT FOR TRYING TO LIVE THE RIGHT WAY.

It seems like I am left alone because I won't have sex. Many women also have sex before marriage which makes it even harder for other women who want to wait. Men have so many options because of women who choose to engage in premarital sex. I just feel if more women would wait until marriage, men would be forced to change their ways. As of now, they don't have to.

I am in tears right now because I just don't understand it. I just wish there were more men of God who would stand up for what is right. I desire marriage but I have never met a man who wanted to wait for sex. It just hurts.

You sound like my daughter. I don't say that in derision, but with sympathy, because I know how my daughter's heart hurts for the same reason.

 

[Alex1234567890]

I only want sex once I am married.
and I am sure that there are many others out there who do to.

 

[TheyCallMeDavid]

Hello brothers and sisters,

I write this in frustration and with pain in my heart. I just don't understand why there are so many men who will not abstain from sex until marriage. It hurts my heart because I want so much to please God in this way. I am not a virgin but I will never again give my body to someone outside of marriage. I am single and it is so hard meeting men, even men who call themselves Christians, who want to do the right thing. Why can't we just live right and do the right thing? Am I wrong or does not God want us to wait for marriage??

I met a guy and we liked each other but yesterday he told me that he could never marry someone without having sex with them first. It hurts so much because everyone that I personally know who are engaged are having sex. IT JUST SEEMS LIKE THE WOMEN WHO ARE HAVING SEX ARE THE WOMEN WHO ARE GETTING MARRIED AND PROPOSED TO. IT DOESN'T SEEM FAIR. I HURT FOR TRYING TO LIVE THE RIGHT WAY.

It seems like I am left alone because I won't have sex. Many women also have sex before marriage which makes it even harder for other women who want to wait. Men have so many options because of women who choose to engage in premarital sex. I just feel if more women would wait until marriage, men would be forced to change their ways. As of now, they don't have to.

I am in tears right now because I just don't understand it. I just wish there were more men of God who would stand up for what is right. I desire marriage but I have never met a man who wanted to wait for sex. It just hurts.

Few thoughts that maybe you can respond to if you like :

1. Whenever a society has a very permissive sexually illicit culture, it influences nearly everyone even those in Christendom .

2. A Young Mans (especially) sex drive along with the constant barrage of mass media appeals to engage in it ... is a very very overwhelming challenge .

3. Women who dont have personal dignity are so frequent and available for sex that a Guy doesnt need to take them out for a nice dinner any longer . The greatest form of personal intimacy and personal disclosure has been whittled down to 'a hookup experience' for a copulation without any feelings involved.

4. Loose women spoil it for women who have sexual control . The Feminist Movement totally backfired in this respect . We are reaping the bad consequences some 50 years later.

5. There are Christian Men out there who are totally devoted to God in their sexuality no matter what, but they are extremely rare and hard to find . God can and does lead women to these men oftentimes upon constant deep prayer and petition to him.

6. HOW committed do you think you personally could be to refraining from a form of sex, if after many months/years of a commited Dating Relationship where you have become totally at One with the other person, emotionally, and a deep genuine love has developed ? It is an extremely difficult challenge .. how well do you think youd manage it ? Would you ever consider a lighter form of sex such as petting leading to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] for instance , if you knew without a doubt that the Man loved you deeply and is considering marrying you ? What if you both agreed to doing this act say once per month so as not to make a lifestyle out of it ; how acceptable could this be for you ? Such questions are often raised in the Minds of real Christians .

7. What are some of the ways in which you could minimize a Dating Partners desire for sex with you ? Please list 3 or 4 .

Thanks.

 

[Alex1234567890]

We are not that hard to find
Most of the "stronger" Christians (for lack of a better word) believe in sex after marriage.

 

[TheyCallMeDavid]

We are not that hard to find
Most of the "stronger" Christians (for lack of a better word) believe in sex after marriage.

No...respectfully disagree with you. Totally sold-out-to-celibacy any kind of Christian Single Men ... are a rarity as the OP has suggested. They may start out that way whilst they are not in a deeply committed Dating Relationship ... but once they are Ill bet its less than 2% of those Men who wait till the Marriage night. Does this mean that they are 'weak Christians' ??? Perhaps weak only in the area of their sexuality .

While im not condoning sex before marriage....it is a very very tough challenge especially for the hormone intensive Christian Male and for the Christian Single Female who desires the depth of emotional intimacy with someone she knows full well loves her immensely.

 

[Alex1234567890]

I didn't mean they were weak. I just meant that people I have met who appear to be stronger/more devoted tent to hold the view of sex after marriage.

Not that any of us are truely strong anyway.

 

[TheyCallMeDavid]

I didn't mean they were weak. I just meant that people I have met who appear to be stronger/more devoted tent to hold the view of sex after marriage.

Not that any of us are truely strong anyway.

Agree with both statements here ; they may hold to that view ...but it oftentimes becomes a different matter when they are IN a very deep love-based commited relationship where marriage is a distinct probability . It is so engrained in our Being to want to express and recieve complete disclosure of oneself including Mind, Soul, and Body. It would truly be great if the sex-switch could be simply turned off until such a time as the wedding celebration.

 

[paul1149]

The high road will always be the one less traveled, because it is harder. But if you choose that route, and eventually find someone who feels as you do, your marriage will be rock-solid. You won't have the nagging doubts and insecurities relativism brings into the equation.

Sometimes loneliness is so severe it actually hurts physically. Hide yourself in God, feed on His faithfulness and determine to stay the course. In due season you will get your reward.

 

[christsoccer]

Hello brothers and sisters,

I write this in frustration and with pain in my heart. I just don't understand why there are so many men who will not abstain from sex until marriage. It hurts my heart because I want so much to please God in this way. I am not a virgin but I will never again give my body to someone outside of marriage. I am single and it is so hard meeting men, even men who call themselves Christians, who want to do the right thing. Why can't we just live right and do the right thing? Am I wrong or does not God want us to wait for marriage??

I met a guy and we liked each other but yesterday he told me that he could never marry someone without having sex with them first. It hurts so much because everyone that I personally know who are engaged are having sex. IT JUST SEEMS LIKE THE WOMEN WHO ARE HAVING SEX ARE THE WOMEN WHO ARE GETTING MARRIED AND PROPOSED TO. IT DOESN'T SEEM FAIR. I HURT FOR TRYING TO LIVE THE RIGHT WAY.

It seems like I am left alone because I won't have sex. Many women also have sex before marriage which makes it even harder for other women who want to wait. Men have so many options because of women who choose to engage in premarital sex. I just feel if more women would wait until marriage, men would be forced to change their ways. As of now, they don't have to.

I am in tears right now because I just don't understand it. I just wish there were more men of God who would stand up for what is right. I desire marriage but I have never met a man who wanted to wait for sex. It just hurts.

35 and a virgin (never had sex ever) here.. sorry for what you are going through and praying God will send you the man you desire...just like I hope and wait for a future wife while saving myself (so far) for her

 

[abacabb3]

No...respectfully disagree with you. Totally sold-out-to-celibacy any kind of Christian Single Men ... are a rarity as the OP has suggested. They may start out that way whilst they are not in a deeply committed Dating Relationship ... but once they are Ill bet its less than 2% of those Men who wait till the Marriage night. Does this mean that they are 'weak Christians' ??? Perhaps weak only in the area of their sexuality .

While im not condoning sex before marriage....it is a very very tough challenge especially for the hormone intensive Christian Male and for the Christian Single Female who desires the depth of emotional intimacy with someone she knows full well loves her immensely.

Again, I will reiterate, I'm living proof. No inappropriate content, no masturbating, no sex (even kissing) with my wife. We did hold each other very tenderly however before we were married. A Christian can do this, but it is a gift God gives. In my opinion, people should simply marry sooner. I am not sure if it is nautral to be close to someone for years and not have sex. God did it in my wife and me, but Paul in 1 Cor 7 does not see it as the norm.

 

[RDKirk]

Agree with both statements here ; they may hold to that view ...but it oftentimes becomes a different matter when they are IN a very deep love-based commited relationship where marriage is a distinct probability . It is so engrained in our Being to want to express and recieve complete disclosure of oneself including Mind, Soul, and Body. It would truly be great if the sex-switch could be simply turned off until such a time as the wedding celebration.

This is an embedded problem of Western--and particularly American--culture. It's one of the reasons Christians who have been placed in America by God to represent the Kingdom of Heaven must understand that we are of a distinctly different culture--and we must remain true to our own culture, rather than to that of America.

The issue here is how mates are selected in the culture of America. Here, the dominant method by males and females select each other for marriage is pure chance...absolute dumb luck. A young man or woman goes about each day with the hope that he or she might serendipitously bump into "the one."

To be prepared for such serendipity, the young man or woman must always be available for mating in the way the culture has defined "available for mating." And he or she must always be on the watch for others who are "available for mating."

This creates numerous problems, one of which that the American culture begins this training as young as six years old.

Then, after a couple of decades of always presenting oneself as "available for mating," and always being on the lookout for someone who is available for mating, the young person finally actually gets married....

...and is expected to immediately turn that learned behavior off.

Practically speaking, that doesn't happen. The now-married person still unconsciously dresses as "available for mating" and still unconsciously evaluates each new person for "availability for mating." Left unchanged, that leads to temptation and the "gestation of sin" described by James.

 

[abacabb3]

This is an embedded problem of Western--and particularly American--culture. It's one of the reasons Christians who have been placed in America by God to represent the Kingdom of Heaven must understand that we are of a distinctly different culture--and we must remain true to our own culture, rather than to that of America.

The issue here is how mates are selected in the culture of America. Here, the dominant method by males and females select each other for marriage is pure chance...absolute dumb luck. A young man or woman goes about each day with the hope that he or she might serendipitously bump into "the one."

To be prepared for such serendipity, the young man or woman must always be available for mating in the way the culture has defined "available for mating." And he or she must always be on the watch for others who are "available for mating."

This creates numerous problems, one of which that the American culture begins this training as young as six years old.

Then, after a couple of decades of always presenting oneself as "available for mating," and always being on the lookout for someone who is available for mating, the young person finally actually gets married....

...and is expected to immediately turn that learned behavior off.

Practically speaking, that doesn't happen. The now-married person still unconsciously dresses as "available for mating" and still unconsciously evaluates each new person for "availability for mating." Left unchanged, that leads to temptation and the "gestation of sin" described by James.

Scary, but spot on description.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Hello brothers and sisters,

I write this in frustration and with pain in my heart. I just don't understand why there are so many men who will not abstain from sex until marriage. It hurts my heart because I want so much to please God in this way. I am not a virgin but I will never again give my body to someone outside of marriage. I am single and it is so hard meeting men, even men who call themselves Christians, who want to do the right thing. Why can't we just live right and do the right thing? Am I wrong or does not God want us to wait for marriage??

I met a guy and we liked each other but yesterday he told me that he could never marry someone without having sex with them first. It hurts so much because everyone that I personally know who are engaged are having sex. IT JUST SEEMS LIKE THE WOMEN WHO ARE HAVING SEX ARE THE WOMEN WHO ARE GETTING MARRIED AND PROPOSED TO. IT DOESN'T SEEM FAIR. I HURT FOR TRYING TO LIVE THE RIGHT WAY.

It seems like I am left alone because I won't have sex. Many women also have sex before marriage which makes it even harder for other women who want to wait. Men have so many options because of women who choose to engage in premarital sex. I just feel if more women would wait until marriage, men would be forced to change their ways. As of now, they don't have to.

I am in tears right now because I just don't understand it. I just wish there were more men of God who would stand up for what is right. I desire marriage but I have never met a man who wanted to wait for sex. It just hurts.

I think there are men who wait. I'm not sure you would be attracted to such men. They tend to be 'different'. In a good or bad way is for you to decide.

 

[Pal Handy]

Hello brothers and sisters,

I write this in frustration and with pain in my heart. I just don't understand why there are so many men who will not abstain from sex until marriage. It hurts my heart because I want so much to please God in this way. I am not a virgin but I will never again give my body to someone outside of marriage. I am single and it is so hard meeting men, even men who call themselves Christians, who want to do the right thing. Why can't we just live right and do the right thing? Am I wrong or does not God want us to wait for marriage??

I met a guy and we liked each other but yesterday he told me that he could never marry someone without having sex with them first. It hurts so much because everyone that I personally know who are engaged are having sex. IT JUST SEEMS LIKE THE WOMEN WHO ARE HAVING SEX ARE THE WOMEN WHO ARE GETTING MARRIED AND PROPOSED TO. IT DOESN'T SEEM FAIR. I HURT FOR TRYING TO LIVE THE RIGHT WAY.

It seems like I am left alone because I won't have sex. Many women also have sex before marriage which makes it even harder for other women who want to wait. Men have so many options because of women who choose to engage in premarital sex. I just feel if more women would wait until marriage, men would be forced to change their ways. As of now, they don't have to.

I am in tears right now because I just don't understand it. I just wish there were more men of God who would stand up for what is right. I desire marriage but I have never met a man who wanted to wait for sex. It just hurts.

The devil is a liar and he is the one who tells you that you must
cave in and have sex before a man will marry you.

What does God's word say?

2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

Proverbs 31:10-12 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

So God calls you precious, excellent and trustworthy as a candidate for a wife if you
continue to trust in Him and yeild your life to His ways and not the ways of the devil and sin.

So where's the hang up?
Could it be your lack of trust that thwarts God's hand in your life?
God cannot bless you if you are following a path that leads away from Him.

Could it be that you think God will not bring a good husband into your life?

If you trust in Him and wait for Him to arrange your
marriage instead of doing it the way everyone else does it,
God WILL BLESS YOU.

If you want the best, why would you settle for less?

God wants to bring a Godly man into your life but are you Godly, ARE YOU READY?

If your desire for a man is greater than your desire to please and follow God,
would you consider yourself a Godly woman?

Are you a woman of faith who trusts in, follows and seeks to
please the Lord even when it costs you something to do it?

Can you let go of your desire for a husband and put God first in your life
and trust that He knows best, even if that means being single?

If you want to settle, God still loves you but if you want more
then you have to allow God to have His way in your life even
when the way doesn't seem clear.

Galatians 6:9
And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

Who you going to believe?
The devil will keep after you to cave in so are you going to read God's word
and grab hold of His promises and be faithful so that God can bless
you at the right time or are you going to settle?

 

[Alvis]

You could ask them same about all the "christian" women out there too. Men are not going around raping them (especially not passive christian men lol). So it's a two way street.

The women are just as guilty as the men. It is possible to find someone who wants to wait and who does. But it's not very likely. Being not a virgin yourself, you really can't expect perfection when you're not perfect either.