- Oct 28, 2006
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When you spend all weekend, just dreading going to work. You hate your job, but can't find another, because you are worthless.
I've put out my resume, but the only offers are worse jobs, for lower pay. Why would I do that? So instead I stay at this place that treats me like I am a dog, because.... I finally realized... I am a dog. I have no skills, failed out of college, no abilities, nothing.
I actually am a dog. 41 years old, and no one wants me. But it's my fault they don't want me. Every time I tried to get a degree, or anything, I failed. So it's not their fault, it's my fault. I simply have no value to offer. I can't program, can't do mechanical work, can't manage people, can't do anything.
So I put my resume out, and got offered a job standing on my feet 8 hours straight, picking up 50 lbs boxes, for $11/hours. That's what I'm offered after months of looking. 20 years of experience. 41 years old. A pay cut, and miserable working conditions.
This really is it. This is the end of my story. I stay here at this crap job, with a garbage company, dreading every day of my life... until I get to the end of my life.
Really?
I hate asking 'why' because I know it's a waste of time question that never gets answered.
Yet I still can't help but wonder.... why did G-d make such a worthless human being like me? For what? Stay poor and die? I can't help anyone, not even myself. So why am I here? Just to make rich CEOs wealthy I suppose.
Reminds me of a joke I once saw "Perhaps the purpose of your life is to serve of a warning to others."
I wonder if Paul thought what you think on days he was stuck making tents? (I don't know, but I thought it was worth the comment, bro! )
On the serious and more practical side of things, you could potentially move to another locale with a different job base and variety. You could also make for yourself an 8 year plan to work on getting an Associates Degree somewhere that could help you move up a step or two on the ladder. Just some ideas I'm throwing out there.
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