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Featured When you realize you are at the end

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Andrew77, May 28, 2019.

  1. Gracia Singh

    Gracia Singh Newbie Supporter

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    dp
     
  2. The-Doctor

    The-Doctor Man with a scarf

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    Andrew, I have been so down on myself to the point of wanting to end my life, I wound up in hospital and came out the other end. I've worked in a dead end job I hated but I changed my fate and whilst I still have down days I'm a lot more positive about life in general. Here a challenge, find at least three positive things about your life each day for the next 7 days, no matter how small. Don't focus on the negatives although that is easier sometimes. You are not worthless, you would be suprised what you can do if you put your mind to it. Don't give up on yourself.
    "The future is not set, there is no fate but what we make for ourselves" john Connor.
     
  3. Sparagmos

    Sparagmos Well-Known Member

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    For many of us, work is simply what we do to put food on the table and a roof over our heads. For most people, it is what you do with the rest of your time that brings fulfillment. If you work 40 hours a week, that leaves another 56 hours when you aren’t sleeping. Why not seek happiness in that time - family, church, friends, service, art, hobbies, fitness, travel. Why not seek happiness outside of work?
     
  4. Daniel C

    Daniel C Well-Known Member

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    Well sorry to disappoint you Andrew, it seems that post didn't go down too well and you say you can't relate. See I told you it was ''well meaning'' advice but I didn't say effective advice,did I. :)
     
  5. Go Braves

    Go Braves On semi-hiatus here. Y'all take care.

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    Why did you fail out of college 3 times? You write articulate posts, so you've got skills in that regard.

    Have you ever considered the Reserves? You're not too old for it, and it could give you some connections, some skills. You can probably keep your day job with it. I've had a great experience.

    God gives everybody worth but we all have to put in effort, albeit some much more than others on account of not having as many natural talents & gifts. Attitude is a big part of things. To tell the truth I typically try to avoid your posts on account of that attitude, just unnecessary belligerence. I've got to wonder if folks IRL also avoid you on account of that. Now I'm not saying this to be unkind to you, and I don't have a beef with you. I just manage my time by not engaging all that often, unless you've quoted me. Just happened to see this thread, wanted to try to help but expected the response I got. Your attitude is something within your ability to control.
     
  6. Dave L

    Dave L Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Don't complain about what God gives you. Thank him for your job and do it the best it can be done in thanksgiving. The Israelites complained in the wilderness and spent 40 years making an 11 day journey.
     
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  7. Pavel Mosko

    Pavel Mosko Arch-Dude of the Apostolic Supporter

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    Well I'm 52, and sort of in the same boat.


    Well I think its not enough to just work hard etc. Unfortunately, we are limited by our opportunities. One of the best break throughs I ever got came because of a friend when I lived in Silicon Valley. My best friend was running a Beta program, back in the days when DVR's were a new thing. He had his coordinator drop out or flake out on him, and I got the job, which was a really nice contractor job.

    Anyway I know that this sort of thing is not unusual years ago when I was unemployed and taking job hunting classes at EDD they mentioned that many hires come from warm leads, where you hear about the job from a friend that works there rather than an anonymous add. So you might consider putting effort into cultivating friends or associates etc. Like make a profile on Linked In, or maybe go on Meetup.com and check for the various groups in your area that fit your interests and maybe make some new friends etc. Besides helping you in networking, you may feel a little more optimistic about life with a few new friends.

    We are what we do



    Besides that you might consider some practical applied Stoic Philosophy. Nothing fancy, but there is some really good stuff on the web. I love this video and recommend it does have a few curse words but very worth watching!

     
  8. timewerx

    timewerx the village i--o--t--

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    We live in a very unforgiving and unloving world.

    It's sad to realize that Christians generally are no different - based on the Bible. Love is done through actions, not pity.
     
  9. dms1972

    dms1972 Well-Known Member Supporter

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  10. Chris V++

    Chris V++ In Orbit Supporter

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    That's a great name for a band. When I was in High School my friends said they were going to start a band I'd be the lead singer. The band was going to be called 'Subliminal Illness" lol
    'Live this Friday at the Hippodrome, Cognitive Distortion opening for Subliminal Illness. Few seats remaining. '
     
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  11. Andrew77

    Andrew77 The walking accident Supporter

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    I have no idea why. I worked my butt off, but at the end of the course, the grade I got back, was an F. So I don't what to tell you.

    I also don't know why you would read that as belligerence. It's just the truth as I have lived it.

    I've had people for many years tell me, I just need to be happy. I need to have a positive attitude and such. And I have honestly given that whole "power of positive thinking" belief system the best shot I can. In the end, each time resulted in disaster for me.

    The last time went into something with a 'good attitude', the end result was that I was laid off after finding out I really couldn't do that job. I sat here at this desk, literally crying over a large stack of bills I could not pay, with zero income, and debt collectors calling me every 4 hours, and threatening to take me to court and garnish my wages (humorous now given I didn't have an income for them to garnish). I didn't even have money for the electric bill.

    But where were all those people who said go and have a good attitude, and you can do it, believe in G-d, and he'll help you? They all deserted me. Every single person that cheered me on to go and succeed, all disappeared when the crash happened. Real quick to cheer when the day is bright and sunny, but when I am face down in the mud in the middle of a rain storm, not one was there to help me up. Not one.

    So I don't know what you want from me. Apparently I am lacking whatever it is that you want. That's fine. If my posts are too belligerent, then you can ignore me. It won't hurt my feelings, not anymore. I don't have much in the way of feelings left to be hurt.

    There's a nifty feature on this forum called ignore. Just click on my avatar, and a pop-up window will open, and on it is a button labeled "ignore". Click on that, and I'll disappear. I'll never bother you with my belligerence again.
     
  12. Archivist

    Archivist Senior Veteran Supporter

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    Don't give up. I know of a local man who borrowed money from his aunt to start a business in Philadelphia. Despite his hard work, it failed miserably. He then spent several years working at different businesses to better learn his trade, pay off his debts and save money. He finally started his second business which, while initially successful, lasted only three years before failing. He was still convinced that he could build a successful company, so he moved to Lancaster and started his third business, a caramel company. This time he was successful, and within a few years he sold it for $1 million, and put all the money into a new company which was even more successful. That man was Milton Hershey, the man who developed the Hershey bar. Hang in there.

    BTW, Hershey and his wife had booked a cabin on the maiden voyage of the RMS Titanic in 1912, but fortunately they had to cancel their plans at the last minute due to business matters.
     
    Last edited: May 29, 2019
  13. Reborn1977

    Reborn1977 Devoted to Jesus - Less of me MORE of HIM Supporter

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    I have been thinking about your email since yesterday afternoon. As someone who has known the Lord for over 40 years and served Him in fulltime ministry for 25 (I realize I mention that often, but I believe it is important for people to know who is speaking into their situation, a mature Chrisitan, not a novice) and I have prayerfully and carefully considered how I would respond to your message, if at all.

    Here is what I would say to you.

    Do not put the responsibility for your choices in life on God!
    Not everything in our life is ordained or fated by God as some like to present it so they feel less responsible.
    You made the choices that brought your life to this point and you can make the choices, hopefully under God's guidance this time, to bring your life to a better place. God is a redeemer but as the years of our life pass we make some choices that stay with us throughout our life, meaning we cannot always go back and start over at 20 when we probably should have stayed in college, but we might be able to go back or we might not even be able to do that....nevertheless, we can make the best of the rest of our lives by making godly choices.

    I do not mean this to sound self-serving but sincerely believe you would benefit from reading the in-depth study of Proverbs, the book of wisdom, that I am doing via my blog God's Truth In Love. You can find a link on my profiles page. There is a new posting each week (the three postings on the opening page reflect a special posting that was requested) but next week we will be back with Proverbs. You can also navigate the site all the way back to the beginning of the Proverbs' study, as well as going to the bottom of the opening pages and find a "Follow" button, sign up, and the postings will be emailed to you.

    Pray, ask God for godly wisdom (a prayer that never goes unanswered), and do what you can at this point in your life to live in God's Will and I promise things will get better....you may never have the life you hoped....but they will get better.

    A bit of tough love, but absolutely meant in love and care for your spiritual well-being.
     
  14. Bible Highlighter

    Bible Highlighter Law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul. Supporter

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    Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you. Granted, I am not telling you to be rich, or to seek after riches. The Prosperity Gospel is wrong. In fact, in 1 Timothy 6, we are told to flee from being rich and we are to instead chase after righteousness. But if you put the Lord first in your life, and make His Word as if it was treasure to you, and you ask God to supply your basic needs, He will do so and then some. But we have to be seeking the Lord's will and plans. We have to be focused on spreading the gospel, and in helping the poor on some level (Whether it be some extra food you may have to somebody on the streets). Work on living holy for the Lord and dig deep within His Word. Make your delight the worship of our God, and your happiness will not be derived by how much you make or what you have.

    "And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth." (Luke 12:15).
     
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  15. gym_class_hero

    gym_class_hero Well-Known Member

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    Andrew have you ever done any volunteer work? I'm sure there are fatherless kids in your area that would benefit from your company and time. I have found that volunteering with people less fortunate than myself helps me forget my small troubles. God bless you
     
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  16. mkgal1

    mkgal1 His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33 Supporter

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    You don't believe you have much worth? As someone else mentioned - your advice here is always pragmatic, honest, articulate, and sound. That's worth a LOT in my book. Do you believe you'd be more fulfilled with your job if another part of your life were more fulfilling? Like gym_class_hero just suggested, maybe finding some sort of place to volunteer that fits your ambition would help? There's also a group called Stephen's Ministry that is a helping organization (where I think you'd be a good "fit").

    Stephen Ministries

    It's said that when all people are on their death beds - the way they sum up their lives has to do with how well they loved others. I personally know how difficult that is to find an in-person group to call "community" - but I also believe it's critical to our emotional and spiritual health. I'm praying that God will lead you to possibilities where you feel valued.

    ETA: I also heard this podcast yesterday featuring Sebastian Terry and his movement called, Kindsum. Maybe you can see if there's a person you can help on there? Here's the transcript of how he - Sebastian Terry - discovered what fulfills him in life and makes his life meaningful: Jen Hatmaker - For The Love Of Health: Episode 03

    Kindsum

    via @youtube
     
    Last edited: May 29, 2019
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  17. Robin Mauro

    Robin Mauro Active Member

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    Please, do not put yourself down! A rich person is no better than you. The greatest among us is the servant. Seek God. Seek to be holy. Seek to do things for others. Don't you know how all the apostles suffered? Give your suffering to God. Being near him is what ultimately matters.
    "If you are poor, be proud of your high position..."
    Bad paraphrase, but look that one up,
    Your value is in God, not in the way the world views things. God is quite the opposite of the world. Hang in there brother!
     
  18. MathewMark1988

    MathewMark1988 New Member

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    This quote from Joseph Cambell changed my life!

    “Follow your bliss. If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while waiting for you, and the life you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in the field of your bliss, and they open the doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be. If you follow your bliss, doors will open for you that wouldn't have opened for anyone else.”

    I'm suggesting that if you can find one or even two things that you really enjoy doing, focus on THAT. I've never been the best in the world at any of the things I like to do, but I'm good enough at several of them (by no means an expert) to be a sort of Swiss Army Knife for my clients. I can be a solution to a number of problems and they value me for that. They don't need me to be a neurosurgeon. They just need me to be able to slap on a bandage or tell them what to buy at the drugstore.

    You need to be a solution to a problem someone has and they'll reward you for that. Do what you like to do and you'll become even better at it.

    "follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be. If you follow your bliss, doors will open for you that wouldn't have opened for anyone else."
     
  19. StillGods

    StillGods Well-Known Member

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    prayed for you
     
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  20. Go Braves

    Go Braves On semi-hiatus here. Y'all take care.

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    This OP in particular wasn't belligerent but other posts surely have been, which is why I have to wonder if your issues with folks IRL isn't also due to your attitude, not your aptitude in regards to school & work, things of that nature. They haven't got the nifty option of just ignoring you with ease. This thread is actually about you, but you've made posts in other threads that aren't about you at all, about you. If you do that in person as well, that could be why the folks in your Bible study weren't sorry to see you leave.

    You don't have to have a flowery disposition on life, hang up inspiration quote posters so to speak, in order to have a good attitude or think positively. You just need to follow what the scripture tells you about having a servant's heart, having gratitude, perseverance. Gracious knows folks in the Bible had it a whole heck of a lot worse off than you.

    I don't want anything from you. I love my life. I'm satisfied with it. I feel sorry for you that you are having so many problems with yours. What is it that you're wanting from folks here? Pity? If you want to keep being miserable in your life, keep up that attitude, keep doing things the way you have. If you don't, start by working on that attitude that has got to be a repellant to folks.
     
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