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When To give up TTC

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by mm1228, Mar 16, 2006.

  1. mm1228

    mm1228 Well-Known Member

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    At what age would you stop trying to concieve. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for 5 1/2 years. I thought and there is still hope that I might be pregnant right now. (the test I took yesterday was negative but it might have been too early). My husband and I have been talking and he wants to set an age that we stop trying. I was thinking maybe 40 but I worry about the chances of birth defects and other complications, not that it would be a problem to have a special needs child if that is what God wants for us.
     
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  2. Picture.Of.Obedience

    Picture.Of.Obedience I am FREE!

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    Whenever you feel led. I think the older you get the more risk of miscarriage..... but other than that i know many women who have had kids in their early 40's
     
  3. HeyHomie

    HeyHomie Senior Veteran

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    At some point in your life you have to stop being infertile and start living your life. Really that's up to you and you husband to set an exact date, if you need to set an exact date at all. My wife and I just decided one day that we had spent far too much emotional energy worrying about whether we were going to get pregnant. We also realized that we had gotten used to having free time and discretionary income. I had a vasectomy about a week later.
     
  4. HeyHomie

    HeyHomie Senior Veteran

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    Let me add: mm1228, you're 34. Although women do have babies later and later these days, really when a woman pushes 35 it gets to be about time to consider winding down that biological clock. If you have a baby tomorrow, you'll be 52 when she graduates from high school, 56 when she graduates from college, and pushing 60 when (if) you have grandkids. Is that how you want to spend your golden years? If you wait until you're 40 to move on, then you'll be entering menopause when your child enters kindergarten!

    When my sister was born I was 16 and my father was 36. I used to rib him: "Ha ha ha! When you walk her down the aisle you'll be using a cane!" Now I'm closing in on 36 :eek: ! My sister isn't yet out of college, and my father is using a cane! I was so right!
     
  5. dews

    dews Active Member

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    Find out why you are not concieving. There could be a medical reason why you are not concieving- you or your husband may have a simple medical problem that can be fixed easily.
     
  6. jgonz

    jgonz What G-d calls you to do, He equips you to do.

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    I was 38, 40, and 42 when I had my last 3 babies. I tend to get offended by the thoughts that I'm going to be "too old" to take care of my kids when they're older. I'm 46 right now, and have more energy and am healthier than I was 10 yrs ago.

    So, do what feels right for YOU. Only you, your DH, and G-d know what's going on with your fertility and His timing. :)
     
  7. JoannaJoy

    JoannaJoy Well-Known Member

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  8. Princessperky

    Princessperky Well-Known Member

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    I hope I am healthy enough to keep 'trying' till DH and I are parted(by death) but for medical intervention? That I wouldn't be doing so late.

    Have you considered adoption? that can often be taken care of in less than a year and you are still free to continue activities with your DH while enjoying raising a child.
     
  9. FaithfulServant

    FaithfulServant The Lord directs my steps

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    When I was born, my mother was 36 and my father was 38. When my younger sister was born, my mother was 38 and my father was 40. Sometimes people don't find their mates until later in life, thats just how it works out. What better way to spend your "golden years" than raising children you love, and then enjoying your grandchildren?
     
  10. mm1228

    mm1228 Well-Known Member

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    Thank You all for your input. We have agreed to stop trying when I turn 40. If I have not had any by then then we may adopt. We will just have to wait and see where the Lord leads us.
     
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