• Welcome to Christian Forums
  1. Welcome to Christian Forums, a forum to discuss Christianity in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

  2. The forums in the Christian Congregations category are now open only to Christian members. Please review our current Faith Groups list for information on which faith groups are considered to be Christian faiths. Christian members please remember to read the Statement of Purpose threads for each forum within Christian Congregations before posting in the forum.

When people use God to evade basic questions

Discussion in 'Singles (Only*)' started by ThisIsMe123, Jun 18, 2019.

  1. ThisIsMe123

    ThisIsMe123 Not sure

    +305
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    I jumped back on the online dating band wagon and had come across this woman's profile. She mentions she's Christian looking for the same. She gave me a pretty good lengthy response answering my questions. One of my questions is where I had noticed her height preference was at least 5'10" (she's 5'6") I am 5'8".

    I asked her since she lived locally and we are both one of very few Christian singles in these parts (most here are married), would she give a shorter guy a shot.

    She said, "As far as height, if the gentleman was the person had God selected, his height would not be a deal breaker"

    Now, forgive me if I may come off as irreverent, but had not asked he what God's stance is on height. I was asking because this is a personal question reflective on individual preference.

    It kind of made me wonder if she's one of those types that uses God as a reason to get out of things they personally don't like or the put the onus on God when someone confronts them with a question they are uncomfortable asking.

    I remember talking to a friend about a dilemma. They didn't offer feedback at all, and just say, "pray about it" and it wasn't like a crisis situation or anything which typically is more desirable of prayer, but something having to do with a pesky, minor situation.

    I hear some people use God as an excuse to dump a person they simply had grown apart with.

    It seems Christians use God as a great scapegoat to get out of answering questions vs those who can simply answer such questions themselves, yes?

    Maybe "Scapegoat" isn't the word I'm looking for...but cop-out? Yes?
     
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. Jen35

    Jen35 Active Member

    354
    +172
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    You ain't that short..you seem reachable to kiss lol besides I mean i like tall guys but i don't like very very tall guys only because I am very short and I really don't want to climb a ladder all the time...
     
  3. com7fy8

    com7fy8 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +3,301
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    For me, this could mean she can adjust to someone not having the height she prefers, but she needs to be satisfied that God wants this man for her. You say she said, "if the gentleman was the person had God selected".

    So, to me this means she knows she needs to make sure with God.

    And I as a Christian will welcome her to make sure with God, and trust that she is doing what God has decided. If she is not capable of hearing from God, I would not advise getting with her.
     
  4. timewerx

    timewerx the village i--o--t--

    +4,142
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    Probably using God as scapegoat.
     
  5. Jen35

    Jen35 Active Member

    354
    +172
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    What do you mean as a scapegoat? She would not even need to put a height preference if God had a man selected, doesn't God already know what we need and want, the desires of our heart..this post confuse me a bit cause it sounded like she wasn't saying height doesn't matter to her but I could be wrong.. anyway 2 inches less won't make a difference..what does she need 2 more inches for, I don't get it .she said atleast 5'10, 5'8 isn't that far from 5'10. It's not that crucial. Besides she is 5'6 , 5'8 seems more fitting ...not that any of it matters..
     
  6. timewerx

    timewerx the village i--o--t--

    +4,142
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    I've seen very short women prefer very tall guys if the opportunity presents itself.

    The reasoning was, she wants to have kids taller than herself.
     
  7. timewerx

    timewerx the village i--o--t--

    +4,142
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    Most women I know, have talked to personally, they simply want to have tall kids.

    Tall-kids - better chance in life. That's how they think.

    Same reason why look for good-looking guys, they want good-looking kids to have better chances in life.
     
  8. High Fidelity

    High Fidelity Well-Known Member Supporter

    +7,569
    Korea, Republic Of
    Baptist
    Private
    But God works in mysterious ways, didn't you know?

    It's the default for someone that doesn't have the answer or doesn't like the only logical explanation to the question.
     
  9. Jen35

    Jen35 Active Member

    354
    +172
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Do you notice how the most awkward kids who didn't look so good earlier in life grows up to be beautiful later and the more successful in life? Vice versa. My dad is tall and none of me and my siblings are tall and my mother is short..and that's no excuse to have a good looking kid..you should accept and love your child the way it is. I understand about wanting someone beautiful and good looking but if the person has a heart of gold and looks decent and well groomed she does not need a good looking man..not everything comes in the whole package and judging it by it's cover..is not a good thing either..if I learned anything people can hurt you no matter how they look..it's more of a matter of the heart..look or not..you don't know who your kid will become or could be..
     
  10. Jen35

    Jen35 Active Member

    354
    +172
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Following a worldly standard is one way to corrupt your child and turn them into something they are not.
     
  11. Kenny'sID

    Kenny'sID Well-Known Member Supporter

    +4,916
    Christian
    Single
    I never quite know what to think of people that think on those terms, that is, assuming you are saying she is saying God will select her mate or not.

    Before we even get to the part is she using God, why do people think God is going to select their mate? And i realize that's just the way some think, so I don't mean it's that terrible a thing, but is that anywhere near biblical? Yes, it has happened in the bible but not often at all

    On to the question, yes, it sounds a bit like you say, but not sure I'd turn her away for that, at least she has God, and that's a lot.
     
  12. ThisIsMe123

    ThisIsMe123 Not sure

    +305
    United States
    Christian
    Single

    Right, they speak as if they have barely or no role in the decision making process in finding a partner.

    I counter that with, "God doesn't help those who don't help themselves". But sometimes I think they may be speaking metaphorically.
     
  13. timewerx

    timewerx the village i--o--t--

    +4,142
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    What if your own parent tells you your ugly and always compared to other people? They say, they cannot lie and it's the truth. It's really confusing. I grew up being reminded of that constantly.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2019
  14. Jen35

    Jen35 Active Member

    354
    +172
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Well my parents never called me ugly straightup but they do compare me to others sometimes and constantly lecture me about my appearance, i dont know who your parents are but I heard and learned there is narcissistic abuse out there. I'm sure you know what that is but I just learned of it. And just because someone says something doesn't mean it is true and by looking at your photo..it doesn't seem true to me..
     
    • Informative Informative x 1
    • List
  15. Kenny'sID

    Kenny'sID Well-Known Member Supporter

    +4,916
    Christian
    Single
    I rarely watch comedies but I saw "Ref" they other night...based around a quarreling couple. He was being blamed for all past problems, while she would not make any decisions herself. That may make one feel safe, but in the end, they cop out of the decision making, I'd say they're still half responsible for the outcome in a marriage. But some would blame God anyway...one reason I think he stays out of that decision. Also because he seems to love us making our own decisions on everything

    That's something you two could talk about now so, good thing to know. And that's assuming it really is a serious problem.
     
  16. Kenny'sID

    Kenny'sID Well-Known Member Supporter

    +4,916
    Christian
    Single
    That's bad, and I agree, not true at all. hope you can repair any damage done by that abuse.

    I was good friends with a couple that in the end turned out to be full fledged narcissistic sociopath. They would not tell their kid that, and though they treated them both with a lot of love growing up, She would tell others their daughter was ugly. Who even says such a thing to others about their own kid, much less to the kid themselves?

    Then she grew up, and could have been a model.
     
    • Informative Informative x 1
    • List
  17. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

    +4,952
    Non-Denom
    Single
    US-Republican
    You appear to be conflating two things.

    One is what she answered with - that God may surprise her with a man who is truly wonderful for her, even though he doesn't tick all of her preconceived boxes.

    The other is that she would use what she will claim as God's will to exit a relationship as gracefully as she knows how. When it's really what she wants, whether or not she's fully aware of it.

    Acknowledging the former does not in any way indicate the lack of responsibility and honesty required to do the latter.
     
Loading...