I think (and I'm blessed to be happily married to a WONDERFUL Christian man) that the problems I see with many couples are boil down to a sense of entitlement. Over and over I hear people saying "Well, I got gypped" or "I DESERVE better" or "My mother wouldn't have wanted me to have to work" or...or...or...
Rather than thanking God for a husband or wife, too many people think they are "entitled" to something more than they have. They don't feel they need to work to improve communication, or even that they are being unjust. One I know screaming about being entitled said of the spouse "My spouse is bi-polar, does not hold a lucrative job, and cannot read well in two of my spouse's original three languages." The person then admitted that all this was true, and known to be true, before they married ten years ago...but somehow is ENTITLED to more. The other spouse works twenty hours a week, does all the shopping, cooking and cleaning, and the vast majority of the child care. In return, this spouse hears the other nag, complain, and bad-mouth this spouse for not caring enough to make it so that the other has the things they feel ENTITLED to. This despite the fact that the spouse working part time contributes to the household over $30,000 a year (including saving the cost of two children in day care), and they have substantial savings. The complaining spouse never has to lift a finger in the house, yet nags to the point of whining about getting a divorce so as not to have the entire burden on that spouse's shoulders. Entitlement, 101. (And how that person thinks he/she will manage completely alone doing all the work, with a reduced income and child care costs, plus all the shopping, cooking and cleaning, I simply do not know, nor can I understand how such would be less of a burden.)
