What's on your mind?

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

.

 

[TheApostleJohn]

.

Naive, man, naive.

Yes indeed, with Trump the chaos will never end

 

[PunkyChick]

Happy Birthday @Wayholka !

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

Deleted as it was uncalled for.

 

[MehGuy]

So far half the people wishing me a happy birthday are found on this forum. I had lunch alone and I went to the movies alone.

I really frickin hate God for making me as undesirable as possible just so He can feel good about Himself. He makes all of you fearfully and wonderfully made while He just slapped me together on His lunch break.

Here's to 25 lousy years of life on Earth.

Why do you think this is? Is it because of your autism? Have you tried reaching out to the autistic community? There do exist dating sites and general social sites for autistic people. That might be a fruitful pursuit.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm not much better regarding my life. My ability to connect with people is poor and really do not have any friends. Even though others reach out, my depression, general anger and other mysterious mental problems prevents me from seeking friends out.

I do like this forum though. Gives me some sociability yet I don't really have to engage anyone on any deep level.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

Why do you think this is? Is it because of your autism? Have you tried reaching out to the autistic community? There do exist dating sites and general social sites for autistic people. That might be a fruitful pursuit.

If I was a black guy who had a hard time making and keeping friends, would you recommend that I go reach out to the black community?

If it makes you feel any better, I'm not much better regarding my life. My ability to connect with people is poor and really do not have any friends. Even though others reach out, my depression, general anger and other mysterious mental problems prevents me from seeking friends out.

I'm sorry about that. I truly understand how you must feel. Textbook Asperger's and all the curses with it, depression, anxiety, suspected C-PTSD/Borderline, school bullying, workplace bullying, over medication, patient abuse, constant rejection everywhere I go, having parents with zero patience and having to be the one to teach your parents patience, living in the alcoholic capital of the province, having to be on welfare, working with garbage at a minimum wage job, still living with your parents, people giving you crap in spite of your best efforts to reform yourself, having little to no real friends, no emotional support from your family...

It does stuff to you. I am not Superman who is invulnerable to harm. I'm part of the 66% of aspies who thought about suicide, part of the 35% who attempted suicide, part of the 1/3 who developed mental problems...

People tell me that I'm not alone in my suffering but with autism, that's exactly the case. You are alone with no one to have your back because you do not have the social intuition that so many people take for granted.

I do like this forum though. Gives me some sociability yet I don't really have to engage anyone on any deep level.

I agree. My fear is that one day I'll overstay my welcome and get thrown out. It's happened to me countless time in my life so I see it as inevitable. Best enjoy it while I still can.

It's my party and I can cry if I want to.

 

[MehGuy]

If I was a black guy who had a hard time making and keeping friends, would you recommend that I go reach out to the black community?

I don't see how being black is comparable to being autistic. One makes you different neurologically. Black people don't have inherent mental differences compared to other races.

I'm not going to lie. When I heard that you are not able to make facial expressions, it had me worried. My knowledge about autism is not the best, but are you able to fake facial expressions? Learn to make them a habit?

I'm not trying to scare you or anything, just giving honest thoughts from someone who most likely isn't in the autistic spectrum. Although you're probably already aware of this.

While I can make facial expressions I do have trouble making eye contact with people, and know how it puts many people off. So I always have to force myself to look into other's eyes.

I'm sorry about that. I truly understand how you must feel. Textbook Asperger's and all the curses with it, depression, anxiety, suspected C-PTSD/Borderline, school bullying, workplace bullying, over medication, patient abuse, having parents with zero patience and having to be the one to teach your parents patience, living in the alcoholic capital of the province, having to be on welfare, working with garbage at a minimum wage job, still living with your parents, people giving you crap in spite of your best efforts to reform yourself, having little to no real friends, no emotional support from your family...

Yeah. As for me, I'm suspected of being autistic, have a lot of masochistic/sadism (which in my mind is hyper empathy problems) problems (self-harm and inner hatred, extreme mood swings.. etc) and always assume that people view me as dirt. Which is a mindset I'm trying to change. Because a lot of it is simply not true, but sadly my mindset will always swing in that direction if I'm not careful.

I also have trouble processing language. While I mostly speak normally I can and often jumble up my sentences. Especially if I have to describe something, which makes people think you're stupid. Even if you can think fast in your mind.

I agree. My fear is that one day I'll overstay my welcome and get thrown out. It's happened to me countless time in my life so I see it as inevitable. Best enjoy it while I still can.

Maybe. I think the mods are understanding though. If you have mental problems they tend to factor that in. I have a feeling you'll be around here for a while.

 

[MehGuy]

Honestly, you should make an "ask an autistic person" thread.


Could be really informative and interesting. People can make other "ask a" threads for whatever problem they have too.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

I don't see how being black is comparable to being autistic. One makes you different neurologically. Black people don't have inherent mental differences compared to other races.

The point is that I shouldn't have to be segregated like that.

I'm not going to lie. When I heard that you are not able to make facial expressions, it had me worried. My knowledge about autism is not the best, but are you able to fake facial expressions? Learn to make them a habit?

I'm not trying to scare you or anything, just giving honest thoughts from someone who most likely isn't in the autistic spectrum. Although you're probably already aware of this.

While I can make facial expressions I do have trouble making eye contact with people, and know how it puts many people off. So I always have to force myself to look into other's eyes.

I am capable of making facial expressions but it takes extra effort to do so. I'm mostly poker faced with some smiles when laughing. Most can do it automatically but for me its physically draining and I have to be a fine actor to do so.

Yeah. As for me, I'm suspected of being autistic, have a lot of masochistic/sadism (which in my mind is hyper empathy problems) problems (self-harm and inner hatred, extreme mood swings.. etc) and always assume that people view me as dirt. Which is a mindset I'm trying to change. Because a lot of it is simply not true, but sadly my mindset will always swing in that direction if I'm not careful.

I also have trouble processing language. While I mostly speak normally I can and often jumble up my sentences. Especially if I have to describe something, which makes people think you're stupid. Even if you can think fast in your mind.

I feel the same way, dude. My personal view is how one thinks and views the world is very dependent on how one was brought up. You'll find that there are many serial killers who had very screwed up childhoods to the point where they are not even capable of empathy anymore.

I am trying to change my views on this. I really am. It's going to take years of support to remedy years of mistreatment.

Maybe. I think the mods are understanding though. If you have mental problems they tend to factor that in. I have a feeling you'll be around here for a while.

I hope so. You're a good friend to have. You guys are a very good community that I wish I found before Newgrounds and Rapture Ready.

Honestly, you should make an "ask an autistic person" thread.


Could be really informative and interesting. People can make other "ask a" threads for whatever problem they have too.

Maybe. There's still things I'm discovering myself. The more I read about Aspergers, the more of my flaws seem to be linked to it. A lot of things I thought was normal growing up turns out to be linked to this darn condition.

You guys can feel free to ask me any questions regarding my condition.

 

[SarahsKnight]

So far half the people wishing me a happy birthday are found on this forum. I had lunch alone and I went to the movies alone. So far, no happy birthday wishes from my father, sister or any other family member miles away from me.

I really frickin hate God for making me as undesirable as possible just so He can feel good about Himself. He makes all of you fearfully and wonderfully made while He just slapped me together on His lunch break.

Here's to 25 lousy years of life on Earth.

I'm sorry about that. I truly understand how you must feel. Textbook Asperger's and all the curses with it, depression, anxiety, suspected C-PTSD/Borderline, school bullying, workplace bullying, over medication, patient abuse, constant rejection everywhere I go, having parents with zero patience and having to be the one to teach your parents patience, living in the alcoholic capital of the province, having to be on welfare, working with garbage at a minimum wage job, still living with your parents, people giving you crap in spite of your best efforts to reform yourself, having little to no real friends, no emotional support from your family...

It does stuff to you. I am not Superman who is invulnerable to harm. I'm part of the 66% of aspies who thought about suicide, part of the 35% who attempted suicide, part of the 1/3 who developed mental problems...

People tell me that I'm not alone in my suffering but with autism, that's exactly the case. You are alone with no one to have your back because you do not have the social intuition that so many people take for granted.

Wayholka, I know it is all too easy for me to do this across the Internet and not in person, but still,

I saw these posts from you a few minutes ago and for what it is worth I have prayed that God will help you feel more in tune with other people - friends, family, strangers - and more loved by them. I know you were just venting (and understandably so) and that you don't truly hate God or anything like that. He does not actually glory in people's suffering, remember; but He may end up receiving glory from others who see your problems and want to help. I know that others were able to draw closer to Him in their own personal ways when they witnessed my suffering four years ago, but there's a difference between Him bringing goodness and glory out of a bad thing like suffering, and actually being the one who enjoys His creation's sufferings. Which I believe firmly that He does not.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

Anyways, depression aside...

I'd like to thank you all for wishing me a happy birthday. It really means a lot to me. Props to CodyFaith for making that comic. I saw it as a homage to my cartooning career on this forum.

Now who wants some cake?

 

[SarahsKnight]

I was at Kroger's a little while ago and it dawned on me that pretty much this very thing happened to me about this time last year, as well. I am accosted by Girl Scouts on my way out and despite my not ... really having an affinity for their cookie-ware, I just can't say no to a child, especially a little girl (unless that child has clearly displayed to me that he/she is total brat). And I just buy a few boxes, anyway.

I guess it is to be expected, though. Perhaps a knight is never meant to be able to turn down a lady's request, whether she be a small child, a maiden of equivalent age to he, or an esteemed woman of dignified twilight years.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

Anyways, depression aside...

I'd like to thank you all for wishing me a happy birthday. It really means a lot to me. Props to CodyFaith for making that comic. I saw it as a homage to my cartooning career on this forum.

Now who wants some cake?

That is the cutest cake.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Somehow I managed to overpay my credit card balance by a nickel.

 

[MehGuy]

The point is that I shouldn't have to be segregated like that.

I'm not saying only autistic people have to be your inner circle, I'm just saying being around other autistic people would probably help ease a lot of your problems. Especially when it comes to love.

I mean I have to go to specialty dating sites too, to find someone I can connect with. Many of them also make important social circles around such people too.

I am capable of making facial expressions but it takes extra effort to do so. I'm mostly poker faced with some smiles when laughing. Most can do it automatically but for me its physically draining and I have to be a fine actor to do so.

Happy to hear you make some facial expressions. I knew one autistic guy in real life who made none.

I feel the same way, dude. My personal view is how one thinks and views the world is very dependent on how one was brought up. You'll find that there are many serial killers who had very screwed up childhoods to the point where they are not even capable of empathy anymore.

I believe it's a combination of genetics and environment. If you don't have the genetics for it, you have nothing for such a mindset to grow.

Sadly people on my mother's side are plagued with emotional problems. They're extremely bitter and angry like I am, with the only difference is that they take it to a whole other level. My poor mother used to be beaten by my grandmother who had wild mood swings. She'd even punch her in the face in public. And my grandmother tried her best to make sure her children didn't go to college because she wanted them to suffer and be poor in life. She'd also make my mother and her sisters go to bed at 7 pm because she didn't want to deal with kids walking around the house. Thankfully my mother was able to ignore the abuse and went to college anyways (the rest were not so lucky).. And my great-grandfather before that was apparently even more abusive.

I only met my grandmother once when I was a kid. Yet she told my mother that she hopes I fail at life and end up putting a bullet in my head, lol.

While I can get emotional mean and heated, I'm nowhere near like them. Because I grew up in a loving environment. I shudder to think what I could have turned out to be if I grew up in poverty and in an abusive environment.

Maybe. There's still things I'm discovering myself. The more I read about Aspergers, the more of my flaws seem to be linked to it. A lot of things I thought was normal growing up turns out to be linked to this darn condition.

You guys can feel free to ask me any questions regarding my condition.

Yeah. As for me, I've linked a lot of my problems to higher than average empathy. Which borderline personality disorder already has literature on.

 

[Journey.In.Grace]

So far half the people wishing me a happy birthday are found on this forum. I had lunch alone and I went to the movies alone. So far, no happy birthday wishes from my father, sister or any other family member miles away from me.

I really frickin hate God for making me as undesirable as possible just so He can feel good about Himself. He makes all of you fearfully and wonderfully made while He just slapped me together on His lunch break.

Here's to 25 lousy years of life on Earth.

Do you truly believe that we are 'fearfully and wonderfully' made? Do you truly believe we are 'good' and 'perfect' Christian's? We are no different than you. I'm no different than you. Do you know how many times I have simmered in anger and bitterness because I am so often ignored by people at church who I sincerely wanted to form a friendship with? A lot. I often question God WHY am I friendless and so not desireable. My emotions are often everywhere that I feel like I am just a whole mess of a creation. Truth is, God doesn't make mistakes. Perhaps this is happening for a reason. I know my situation(s) are nothing similar to yours; if it helps I hardly receive happy birthday wishes either. I just want you to know that you are not some slapped me together creation on God's lunch break. You, too, are a beautiful creation and you are LOVED. By God, by me, by so many people. Please always remember that.

 

[CodyFaith]

Thanks, guys! This means a lot to me!

I am madly in love with the comic you made me, CodyFaith! I love that extra effort you put in for me!

Np man, was fun.

 

[Saucy]

Deleted as it was uncalled for.

I saw your post brother. You are well loved here. It's always a safe place for you here, and of course my inbox is always open if you ever need to vent. I'm a good listener and have big shoulders. I hope your day turned around for you

 

[SnowyMacie]

I realized today that since the majority of women I've been attracted to were in relationships, and spending a good 7 months of my life have feelings for a girl in a serious relationship, I have developed a negative connotation to the word "boyfriend"