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What's Going On?

Discussion in 'For New Christians' started by Jaedan, Jun 30, 2020.

  1. Jaedan

    Jaedan New Member

    United States

    I'm a relatively new "Christian" (for about a year or so.) I think I gave my life (hopefully) to Christ when I was 14. Now I am 16. Now, I would love to give you guys a beautiful story about the Lord and I running into the sunset happily ever after. However, it's been the complete opposite. I know that the Christian life isn't a simple walk in the park (especially in the beginning). But for some reason, I feel like everything is spiraling out of control at the moment. To be honest, I feel like my rational mind is becoming more and more inadequate as I try to seek the Lord.

    Before I get into detail what's been going on, I would like to say one thing. I have created this sort of rule that goes, "If I am experiencing a problem, the problem is always caused by me, not God." So when a problem surfaces, I always examine myself to see why this problem has arisen (what did I do to cause this?)

    Now, back to the main point, as I have been seeking the Lord, I have been feeling rather inadequate. I always feel like I am doing something wrong. When I try to read the bible, pray, or apply Jesus's teaching into my life (not by my strength but by the Holy Spirit), I always fail significantly.

    For example, When I read the bible daily (not just for a few minutes, but for hours), I understand it, grasp the knowledge. However, as soon as I am finished, I feel like I have misread it. For some reason, I feel as if I have played a game with God. When this does happen, I always get this particular thought in my mind that tells me, "Just because you read the bible, and some scripture doesn't mean you know God personally."

    (Note, before I do read the bible, I do ask God for guidance and understanding)

    Also, after that thought pops up in my mind, I get a other thought that recites 1 Corinthians 1:18: "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." Overall after these thoughts, I become baffled.

    Additionally, I feel this way with my prayer life. When I pray (and attempt to worship), I always feel like I have done something wrong (approached God incorrectly. I repent and ask God to forgive me when I think (in my mind) I have approached him incorrectly or foolishly. Now bear in mind, I do examine myself before I pray to see if I have any wrong intentions or if I still have any unrepented sin. However, after I do this, I still feel terrible about myself. This leads to my questioning my salvation (Am I a false convert?) repeatedly.

    Moreover, in my daily life (as in my life as I attempt to live by Christ's teaching. I seem to keep messing up. I read and read, pray and pray, and ask and ask the Holy Spirit to help me. But for some reason, I keep doing the opposite of Jesus's teaching. See, I do well, for a long time, then wham! I do something that makes me completely question my salvation (again, it makes me begin to think of myself as a false convert after it happens).

    Overall, at the end of the day, I feel disappointed with myself when I think about my "Christian" life. I feel like as I continue to seek the Lord, I keep getting further from him. I have been thinking for the past months about my salvation. I am starting to believe that I am not truly saved.

    I have been trying to figure out what I have been doing wrong. To be honest, I have been feeling so confused, exhausted, and inadequate that I have thought that it would just be best if I give up and punch my ticket to hell (It seems that hard to me)

    I'm waiting for some significant out-of-this-world rebuke from someone (or God himself) that would finally put me on the right track. I just can't seem to comprehend what I am doing wrong. I have no idea what is going on with my Christian life (and my relationship with God). I have just been feeling nonstop confusion.

    I have surrendered my life to the Lord. I have strived to trust him every day and love him with all my strength. But in the end, I am still bombarded by confusion and exhaustion

    Am I doing something foolish? Am I ignorant about something important? What's going on?
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. Amittai

    Amittai monitor evaluator

    United Kingdom
    Hello Jaedan, fabulous to have you with us!

    1. Some problems aren't caused by you - but by others - or by forces of Nature, or by causes we can't figure out. So, it's not ALWAYS you!

    2. Keep getting as many different interpretations of Scriptures as possible - and keep comparing (and never stop re-discussing) - a lot of Christians get a lot of the meanings wrong.

    3. We infer our assurance of salvation - which will culminate in the future and will take concrete form - by evidence in the present, which we witness in ourselves and in others. Emotional evidence can be overrated.

    As I typed I said an Our Father and a Glory Be for the fruitfulness and safety of your walk!
  3. Phoebe Ann

    Phoebe Ann ...yet not I, but the grace of God that is with me Supporter

    United States
    When I was younger and had so much to learn, I made a lot more mistakes than I think I do now. And my family of origin had a lot of dysfunctional behaviors that depressed me and influenced my children. Even for Christians there is so much to learn. Just continue to pray and read your Bible. Don't be too hard on yourself. God will help you in your walk.

    I'm in my seventies now. I love people and don't expect them to be perfect.
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2020
  4. Rachel20

    Rachel20 Member

    United States
    You're still young, and a new Christian. I'm older and saved decades. If I could tell my younger self one thing I learned later in life that changed everything - it is that God is a loving God, not an angry God! Every mistake we would make in this life, God knew from the beginning. Nothing surprises him. And inspite of it all, he still sent his Son to die for us. There is no greater love. So stop trying so hard, and just accept the truth - he loves you and nothing you can do will change that!!
  5. coffee4u

    coffee4u Well-Known Member

    Welcome to CF and that is wonderful that you came to Christ so young.:)

    1) "If I am experiencing a problem, the problem is always caused by me, not God."
    While you certainly can be the issue, this isn't always the case. Others can have an influence, as can satan or things outside of your control.

    2) You are young and still yet to have a lot of life experiences. These give you more insight, toughen you up and make you more aware of things before they really 'get going'. You will get a handle on things more as you age and gain experience.

    3)For example, When I read the bible daily (not just for a few minutes, but for hours)
    This sounds like you are trying too hard. I would advise that you just read a chapter or even sometimes just a paragraph and just meditate on it, think on it over the day. pray to the Lord about it.
    Proverbs 3:5
    Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

    Somethings can't be rushed. They need to be seeped.
    As a new Christian, you want support from a church but also more milk of the word rather than diving right into the meat. I would say the same even if you were 30.

    3)I always get this particular thought in my mind that tells me, "Just because you read the bible, and some scripture doesn't mean you know God personally."
    That could be satan or a demon. Once you become a Christian you can expect more attacks not less.
    In this case speak aloud.
    Submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you James 4:7
    Mark 10:27 ‘With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.’

    4)Having a scripture pop to mind is most likely to be from God. Embrace it. say it aloud.

    5) The Devil will try and persuade you that you are not saved. Again realize this and have a verse ready to say aloud.

    Remember our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12
    This is what you are experiencing.

    11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
    14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

    15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

    16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

    17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

    18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
    Those bad thoughts are the fiery darts.

    2 Corinthians 2:11
    in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
    Be aware, be ready.

    6) "Moreover, in my daily life (as in my life as I attempt to live by Christ's teaching. I seem to keep messing up."

    8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.
    Just as well for us that being saved has nothing to do with being 'good enough' but rather God's gift to you, no matter how often you mess up. I have been a Christian for over 30 years, I have yet to get a day right.

    Did you know that Paul messed up a lot? He moaned about it.
    Romans 7:15
    I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
    Even though he was a great man of God he still did things that he hated to do. In fact the Bible outlines all the great men and women's failings. Not because God is saying 'do that' but rather to show us that even those after Gods own heart messed up. Noah, David, Sarah. That messing up is human and not the end, it's what we do after failing that counts. We get up and its a new day.

    Psalm 11: 24 This is the day the Lord has made;We will rejoice and be glad in it.
  6. Job3315

    Job3315 Well-Known Member

    United States
    When I read your post it made me think you are going through a test. My best advice is to just simply believe you are saved, even when you don't feel like you are, just thank Him for your salvation. If you sin, analyze with the Lord what is the root of it, ask for forgiveness, but keep thanking Him for your salvation. Right now I believe we are going through a spiritual blackout, but hang in there.
  7. hedrick

    hedrick Senior Veteran Supporter

    This is a trap that a lot of people fall into. Jesus doesn’t demand perfection. It’s a goal, and over the long run you should do better. But you can trust God’s love and what Jesus did.

    Have you read anything about Luther? As a Protestant you might want to. The Reformation started because Luther felt much like you do. The more he tried the more he realized how inadequate he was. He didn’t have any peace until he realized that justification (our proper status before God) is based entirely on God’s action, and we can trust him. The Reformers considered trust to be the most important part of faith. But it’s not the quality of your faith that matters, but what Jesus did. Faith is just that we trust him for our salvation.

    The trap is that the kind of thing you describe makes you focus more and more on yourself. But if you read Jesus’ teachings, he wanted people to look at God and others. He never set up purity or holiness as goals, just accepting the Gospel and being useful.

    This way of putting it has its own dangers. It could pull you out of concentrating on yourself and start making you so gung-ho about serving others that you’re afraid you’ve never met the quota for good works. But there’s no quota. Jesus said someone who gives another a cup of water will be rewarded. Rather, I believe what Jesus was looking for was more an attitude or a direction. Caring about people, which I think normally shows by paying attention to them and doing what you can. And trusting what he did for you.
  8. 1watchman

    1watchman Overseer Supporter

    It seems from what you said, you are hoping you did the right thing and are not sure??? If you truly received the Lord Jesus into your heart and life, then 'reckon it so' and be always in communion with Him as your best Friend, and lord of your life. How should you treat your best friend? Remember that if a "born again" saint dishonors an disobeys the Lord, that one will forfeit much at the "judgment seat of Christ" in Heaven; otherwise, if only a casual follower after the teachings of the Lord Jesus, that one will not be in Heaven.
  9. CaspianSails

    CaspianSails Active Member

    United States
    I have found that many young converts have not received firm foundational teaching. Many are left with a Sunday sermon which may be devoid of basic Christian fundamentals, not necessarily fundamentalism. If you fit in that group I would recommend getting the following off of Amazon. It is not denominational it is a book that details basic Christian belief and basic theology. I have taught classes from this book and even those who have been in the faith for years are amazed what they did not know about their faith. It is The Apostles Creed, Discovering Authentic Christianity in an age of Counterfeits by R Albert Mohler. Take your time, study all the scripture and it will help build your faith and your understanding. You will come to know that being a Christian is not based on what we feel or what we think, it is based on something far more grand, it is based on the creator of all that we see. It is based on a God that is much more than we can even know. He is our salvation alone. Hope you read it and I know it will give you a very solid foundation to build a solid faith on not the sand of feelings or emotions or self. God bless.
  10. 1watchman

    1watchman Overseer Supporter

    Very true! Often people get occupied with works and religious ideas to 'get right' with God, when God wants us to see and come by faith in His "beloved Son" ---our Lord Jesus--the Christ of God (noting John 14:6).
  11. JTreborn

    JTreborn New Member

    United States
    (Note: part of my response is within the quoted block. Forgive me, new to this!)
    Friend, the issues you describe show us, and testifies to why Jesus says we need to be reborn. It also demonstrates why grace is such an incredibly valuable thing. Have confidence in God. Whenever you feel the weight of your inadequacies, remember your hope. Your hope, our hope, is in the promises found in the Bible. Though things may be unclear now, we pray for a day when our eyes can be opened, and that we do not lose out on those promises because of our own stubborn, unbelieving hearts.
  12. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

    If being a Christian were mainly about keeping the commands, both you and I would be in a lot of trouble. Fortunately, there's more to it than that, and while where we are at is not good enough, it is Christ's imputed righteousness upon us that "qualifies" us in God's sight. We are to strive to live in a way that honors Christ, but we can't have our expectations be instant gratification all the time. Keep having faith in God and what he has done for you, you need it with your whole life ahead of you.
  13. longwait

    longwait Well-Known Member

    The devil is playing with your mind. The battle is to win your mind.
  14. Romansthruphilemon

    Romansthruphilemon Member

    Hi Jaedan,

    It seems like you have grown up in a very legalistic church and have a view that your acceptance with God is based on your performance. That is called lordship salvation and what it really is is lordship damnation. The real gospel is much better than what you have previously heard and believed.

    The real gospel is that you are a sinner and if you believe that Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose again you are saved and sealed until the day of redemption. It’s not dependent on your performance. It doesn’t require you giving your life to the Lord. That is backwards...the Lord gave his life for you and salvation is a free gift.

    Well meaning people get this totally confused because they concentrate on the portion of the Bible that was too Israel (Matthew-John) and almost totally ignore Paul (doctrine directly to you). So they take where Jesus tells the Israelites deny yourself or endure to the end and tell you that you have to give your life to the Lord. They tell you that your acceptance is based on your performance when it’s really a free gift. Salvation is a free gift, not dependent on your performance.

    Click on my name and you can see my previous posts. I have posted a ton of videos that will help you to rightly divide the word of truth. Learning the gospel you will have peace and know that you are accepted because of what Jesus has done.
  15. Romansthruphilemon

    Romansthruphilemon Member

    This excellent video is only 4 minutes long