What to do about an insecure guy I met online...yikes

[pinkjess]

If the guy you were contacting was a good-looking, well adjusted socially, and had everything together, you would have ZERO problems with his advancements.

However he isn't, so he is delegated to "creepy perv".

It's just my observation. You can disagree.

I love effeminate, gentle men. My type is actually scrawny, soft spoken, nerdy looking guys. I don't care about money or affluence, or social status, or muscles. I am at the bottom of the totem pole so I know I don't have much going for myself anyway, and I know more about life to know you can't judge a book by its cover.

The problem I have with this dude is, he constantly expects me to bring him up when he is down. That is not my responsibility. When we message it is pretty one-sided. It's always about his feelings and his problems--I never get a chance to seek comfort from him, it's always me giving comfort to him. I validate him, tell him he is funny, tell him he is okay and loved yet he never believes it. He is a leech to my spirit that is bringing me down and confusing my heart. He is nice and matches my personality, but some of the stuff he has said to me worries me. He has said how easy it would be to kill himself, he knows all kinds of ways to die. It freaks me out. I don't want to get caught up with a would-be serial killer. The guy has issues, and I don't want to be entangled in it.

I have let my loneliness get the best of me and allow me to stoop low to accept and seek attention from vulnerable men online and I am kicking myself in the foot for it. I wish I would have never started a conversation with this guy. This guy does not care about me, he only messages me because I give his ego a boost and make him feel better about himself. He is using me.

BTW I believe people, both men and women, should only enter romantic relationships when they are secure in themselves and in their relationship with God before entering one with someone else. Insecurity while entering a relationship will only led to co-dependency and sin.

 

[Invalidusername]

I love effeminate, gentle men. My type is actually scrawny, soft spoken, nerdy looking guys. I don't care about money or affluence, or social status, or muscles. I am at the bottom of the totem pole so I know I don't have much going for myself anyway, and I know more about life to know you can't judge a book by its cover.

The problem I have with this dude is, he constantly expects me to bring him up when he is down. That is not my responsibility. When we message it is pretty one-sided. It's always about his feelings and his problems--I never get a chance to seek comfort from him, it's always me giving comfort to him. I validate him, tell him he is funny, tell him he is okay and loved yet he never believes it. He is a leech to my spirit that is bringing me down and confusing my heart. He is nice and matches my personality, but some of the stuff he has said to me worries me. He has said how easy it would be to kill himself, he knows all kinds of ways to die. It freaks me out. I don't want to get caught up with a would-be serial killer. The guy has issues, and I don't want to be entangled in it.

I have let my loneliness get the best of me and allow me to stoop low to accept and seek attention from vulnerable men online and I am kicking myself in the foot for it. I wish I would have never started a conversation with this guy. This guy does not care about me, he only messages me because I give his ego a boost and make him feel better about himself. He is using me.

BTW I believe people, both men and women, should only enter romantic relationships when they are secure in themselves and in their relationship with God before entering one with someone else. Insecurity while entering a relationship will only led to co-dependency and sin.

I'd agree with that.

He definitely sounds like a lost cause. I'd agree with you cutting him off. He sounds like he is just using you for affirmation but then again I can't make that discernment since I haven't seen anything he has said.

And definitely agree with your last paragraph.

I just laughed at that comment about how women have 100% correct radar about people and that's why I piped up. It's a silly thing to say. People can be extremely deceptive.

 

[pinkjess]

I'd agree with that.

He definitely sounds like a lost cause. I'd agree with you cutting him off. He sounds like he is just using you for affirmation but then again I can't make that discernment since I haven't seen anything he has said.

And definitely agree with your last paragraph.

I just laughed at that comment about how women have 100% correct radar about people and that's why I piped up. It's a silly thing to say. People can be extremely deceptive.

Well, I wouldn't say he is completely a lost cause. He just needs to be more secure in himself and his relationship with God before thinking about a relationship with a woman.

 

[discipler7]

I validate him, tell him he is funny, tell him he is okay and loved yet he never believes it.

Maybe, this was a mistake on your part, eg you should have lovingly corrected him instead, or pointed him to the right forum/links for the conviction of his sins/evil-deeds or mental tendencies towards sinning(= evil thoughts).

Eg, the devil likes to kill people(eg through suicide and murder) because his spiritual food is dead bodies, as per GENESIS.3:14-19 = "... And you shall eat dust All the days of your life. ... For dust you are,
And to dust you shall return.”
_ _ _ _ _ _ _

1JOHN.3: = 8 He who sins is of the devil, for the devil has sinned from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil.

JOHN.16: = 7 Nevertheless I tell you the truth. It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send Him to you. 8 And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment: 9 of sin, because they do not believe in Me; 10 of righteousness, because I go to My Father and you see Me no more; 11 of judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged.

EPHESIANS.6: = The Whole Armor of God
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.