What is with all of the sexual harrassment news?

[Christie insb]

My wife would disagree with you. However, in all fairness, it depends on the degree of "abuse". My wife got her butt pinched when she was in Italy. She slapped the guy.

This can work sometimes, if you are in public and an American in a different culture. Sometimes fighting back is a good option. This is a complicated calculus though, speaking as someone who in my youth achieved a brown belt in karate.

People are learning what we've known for thousands of years: Humans are sexual. Heing and sheing, at ANY level, are suddenly taboo to some people.

BTW, It reminds me of a movie called Cherry 3000. It's the future and a guy goes into a single bar and there are not couples at tables, but groups of three:The woman, the man, and the attorney writing up the "hook up" contract. As they negotiate, the guy says, "hands on the boobs?" And the girl says, OK, but hands only above the waist. And the attorney dutifully types that into the contract.

It is where we seem to be going. Gotta admit, it does sound awfully romantic. Or not.

.
Different cultures have different standards. Usually conservative American evangelical Christians want to avoid being like Europe. Even so, France is getting less tolerant of sexual bullying as well.

Seriously, you can make fun of it, but

People are learning what we've known for thousands of years: Humans are sexual. Heing and sheing, at ANY level, are suddenly taboo to some people.

BTW, It reminds me of a movie called Cherry 3000. It's the future and a guy goes into a single bar and there are not couples at tables, but groups of three:The woman, the man, and the attorney writing up the "hook up" contract. As they negotiate, the guy says, "hands on the boobs?" And the girl says, OK, but hands only above the waist. And the attorney dutifully types that into the contract.

It is where we seem to be going. Gotta admit, it does sound awfully romantic. Or not.

The kids are growing up in a world that is no longer giving the "boys must be boys" saw credence. They need to be aware if the changing perceptions.

 

[Christie insb]

I have four daughters, and two sons. The challenge for me regarding this issue is that the solution is not easy. In your case, the absolute right thing to do would have been to immediately report it to the school and then to your parents. But that is a hard choice for a 17 year old girl to make.

At least, it was back then. It will be easier now.

And the reason I mentioned my sons is that there really are a LOT of false accusations out there. My motto is, I need a conviction or it didn't happen. But that is regarding elected officials, and especially when the allegations are coming out before an election and are over two years old.

Yes, it was very hard to speak out years ago. It still is. My daughter was recently the victim of a minor sex crime and she wanted no part of reporting it to police, because victims tend to blame themselves. I personally am too old and fat to dress sexily but we cannot prevent sexual assault by all dressing like Saudi Arabian women. Men need to learn that they are expected to and capable of managing their impulses.

 

[Christie insb]

I have four daughters, and two sons. The challenge for me regarding this issue is that the solution is not easy. In your case, the absolute right thing to do would have been to immediately report it to the school and then to your parents. But that is a hard choice for a 17 year old girl to make.

At least, it was back then. It will be easier now.

And the reason I mentioned my sons is that there really are a LOT of false accusations out there. My motto is, I need a conviction or it didn't happen. But that is regarding elected officials, and especially when the allegations are coming out before an election and are over two years old.

I don't think there are a lot of false accusations out there. Since Biblical times men have been more interested in preserving their prerogative than protecting the victims. Your very saying this vividly demonstrates why Hope didn't come forward - - the doctor had considerable esteem in the public eye and within her own gymnastics world. Even if she had come forward, people would have thought she was making it up or that the doctor had a medical reason for what he did. And victims blame themselves, even though she was just trying to be her best and in no way invited or deserved to be treated like this.

 

[Christie insb]

Depends on the church.

Unless they remove the accused from all contact with children, inform the police (which is the law), and strongly support the victims, they are not doing enough. The church is quick to forgive sexual predators and hold their victims responsible.

 

[Almost there]

The kids are growing up in a world that is no longer giving the "boys must be boys" saw credence. They need to be aware if the changing perceptions.

it's going to also mean that girls can't be girls.

Can We Be Honest About Women?

 

[Almost there]

Yes, it was very hard to speak out years ago. It still is. My daughter was recently the victim of a minor sex crime and she wanted no part of reporting it to police, because victims tend to blame themselves. I personally am too old and fat to dress sexily but we cannot prevent sexual assault by all dressing like Saudi Arabian women. Men need to learn that they are expected to and capable of managing their impulses.

And most are. The problem is that, well, adam and eve ate the fruit. And here we are.

 

[Almost there]

I don't think there are a lot of false accusations out there.

I do. This is where a lot of the disconnect comes from. People that know someone who was falsely accused err on one side. People who know someone who was afraid to speak up are on the other side.

It's why I take the "justice is blind" approach. "He said, she said" is not evidence. And this is true even if it DID happen. The number of crimes that go unreported, or reported but unsolved is staggering. This is one of them. In fairness to both sides of such a case, I cannot, in good conscience, label the accused as guilty with one exception: I know the man personally and understand the context of the "she said" part. But that just impacts my opinion, not the law.

 

[Almost there]

Unless they remove the accused from all contact with children, inform the police (which is the law), and strongly support the victims, they are not doing enough. The church is quick to forgive sexual predators and hold their victims responsible.

I think it depends on the church.

 

[Christie insb]

it's going to also mean that girls can't be girls.

Can We Be Honest About Women?

Yes, we all enjoy flirting. However men tend to take any little thing as permission to be more sexual. I remember a story about a grocery store which required the checkers to smile at every customer. It was a terrible problem that the women took to court eventually because some men would take a smile as an invitation for more.

 

[Dave-W]

Looks like Pence is right.

The Pence is right ...

Didn't that use to be a TV game show?

 

[Dave-W]

my gymnastics coach stuck his finger straight up and into my lady bits when I was 17.
assaulting gymnasts has been in the news a lot lately....
No, I did not approve.

Oooo. That is absolutely terrible.

Will there be the argument made that gymnasts, swimmers and dancers are all wearing enticing uniforms, and so we are asking to be assaulted/groped?

I certainly hope not.

If social media/the press expose the world to the harsh realities of a sinful nature, is this an opportunity for us Christians to witness?

God gives us opportunity. This may well be one of them.

 

[Onetech]

Oooo. That is absolutely terrible.

I certainly hope not.

God gives us opportunity. This may well be one of them.

We went through a teaching on God's cleansing quite a number of years ago. At times, God cleans up society or his church. Anyone remember all the televangelists that were cast out? Other times, society is cleansed either by their own doing(such as now) or some outside influence. Through God's prodding, now society(though most U.S. citizens say they are godless) still believe in our founding father's beliefs and moral system though they don't give credit to it. Give us a couple years and our society will be right back to where we were a couple years ago, when almost anything goes. At some point, we will be past this tipping point and we will no longer have the will or fortitude to fend off immorality, but for now God's morality is once again in the forefront and the cleaning is in progress. These cycles, usually are countdowns to great societies falls either by military struggles or collapse from within the society itself.

 

[Dave-W]

did my leotard invite upon myself my own abuse?

This one I wanted to respond to in a separate post.

Most straight men will be hormonal/aroused by seeing the female body. That is how we are made. (or we evolved if you believe that way) It is also true that both men and women excrete pheromones designed to attract the other gender. They are detectable only by sensitive lab instruments, or our own receptors.

We cannot smell them.
We cannot see or touch them.
We cannot wash them away.

But they are there and they have their effect.

But everyone needs to learn how to handle sexual temptation and desire (which can be kindled in anyone very quickly) in a godly and redemptive way. Even if she is wearing a 3 sizes too big bikini which leaves plenty of gaps all around; or a guy that is inadvertently showing his boy parts, we can still act in a proper way and not let the evil inclination (fallen nature) get the better of us.

 

[pat34lee]

Will there be the argument made that gymnasts, swimmers and dancers are all wearing enticing uniforms, and so we are asking to be assaulted/groped?

did my leotard invite upon myself my own abuse?

should I have refused to be a competitive athlete?

If this coach did it once, he probably did it before and since.
The questions should be, how many knew about him and
didn't turn him in or warn others? Parents and schools
should be careful about letting teachers and coaches deal
with students closely without chaperones.

 

[Dave-W]

If this coach did it once, he probably did it before and since.

Very true. He got away with in which probably emboldened him to try it again. And that behavior tends to escalate over time to more and more explicit acts.

 

[Phil 1:21]

Yes, we all enjoy flirting. However men tend to take any little thing as permission to be more sexual.

First of all, kindly dispense with painting all men with the same broad brush. Prejudice serves no good purpose.

Secondly, do you think for one minute that some men aren't the victims of unwanted sexual contact initiated by some women? Because if so, I can tell you from first hand experience that you're terribly wrong.