Hi,
Some time ago another Christian handled me in a manipulative and decietful way. We had a long dialog and I confronted her about it. She doesn't seem to see how her behavior was wrong. She said that she wanted to start our relationship on a clean slate. She said she apologizes for anyway she has hurt me. I told her I forgive her for her wrong toward me, but that she has lost my trust. I let her know that due to the fact she refuses to own up to her wrong in the situation (manipulating me and being decietful), I can no longer allow her to have intimate access to my life. Her behavior toward me was hurtful and damaging.
I have been told that trust is something that is earned; rightly so I believe. It seems wise to keep a safe distance from her due to the damage she caused, and to prevent any further damage from happening due to the fact she does not see her actions as wrong. It would be a different story if she owned up to what she did, apologized for it and made it her aim not to treat me or anyone else like that in the future.
At the same time, the Scriptures talk about to forgive how the Lord forgave you. I think about the Scriptures that talk about how God remembers our transgressions no more, and that He throws our sins as far as the east is from the west. When I come to God, one of the things I love is that He chooses to forget my transgressions against Him, and that His mercies are new every morning. I love that I can have intimacy with Him again when I seek forgiveness. I want God to keep forgiving me this way. I know the Scriptures say that if you do not forgive your brother from your heart the Lord won't forgive you. Here's my question:
Does true forgiveness mean willfully choosing not to remember this Christian's transgressions against me? She has asked forgiveness (for hurt she has caused me), but will not own up to what she did. I don't want her to walk away from the situation thinking her behavior was okay, and that it is okay to treat other people like that. At the same time, I wonder in my mind if I am not truly forgiving her as the Lord forgave me as I am not willfully forgetting her transgressions against me, and seeking peace. I do forgive her in my heart. I just do not believe that I can trust this person to have close access to my life without causing damage. But when the Lord forgives me, He chooses to remember my sins no more and I have full restored intimacy with Him. I want to make sure I am forgiving as the Lord has forgiven me.
Help??? Anyone have advice? I know that in these types of forums people can be very supportive. I am looking for honest answers to my question that consider the state of my soul. I want to be saved. I don't want to sin against God, or be cut off from being forgiven by God because I am not forgiving the way He has forgiven me.
Any insight is appreciated; especially Scripture based insight.
Thanks.
Some time ago another Christian handled me in a manipulative and decietful way. We had a long dialog and I confronted her about it. She doesn't seem to see how her behavior was wrong. She said that she wanted to start our relationship on a clean slate. She said she apologizes for anyway she has hurt me. I told her I forgive her for her wrong toward me, but that she has lost my trust. I let her know that due to the fact she refuses to own up to her wrong in the situation (manipulating me and being decietful), I can no longer allow her to have intimate access to my life. Her behavior toward me was hurtful and damaging.
I have been told that trust is something that is earned; rightly so I believe. It seems wise to keep a safe distance from her due to the damage she caused, and to prevent any further damage from happening due to the fact she does not see her actions as wrong. It would be a different story if she owned up to what she did, apologized for it and made it her aim not to treat me or anyone else like that in the future.
At the same time, the Scriptures talk about to forgive how the Lord forgave you. I think about the Scriptures that talk about how God remembers our transgressions no more, and that He throws our sins as far as the east is from the west. When I come to God, one of the things I love is that He chooses to forget my transgressions against Him, and that His mercies are new every morning. I love that I can have intimacy with Him again when I seek forgiveness. I want God to keep forgiving me this way. I know the Scriptures say that if you do not forgive your brother from your heart the Lord won't forgive you. Here's my question:
Does true forgiveness mean willfully choosing not to remember this Christian's transgressions against me? She has asked forgiveness (for hurt she has caused me), but will not own up to what she did. I don't want her to walk away from the situation thinking her behavior was okay, and that it is okay to treat other people like that. At the same time, I wonder in my mind if I am not truly forgiving her as the Lord forgave me as I am not willfully forgetting her transgressions against me, and seeking peace. I do forgive her in my heart. I just do not believe that I can trust this person to have close access to my life without causing damage. But when the Lord forgives me, He chooses to remember my sins no more and I have full restored intimacy with Him. I want to make sure I am forgiving as the Lord has forgiven me.
Help??? Anyone have advice? I know that in these types of forums people can be very supportive. I am looking for honest answers to my question that consider the state of my soul. I want to be saved. I don't want to sin against God, or be cut off from being forgiven by God because I am not forgiving the way He has forgiven me.
Any insight is appreciated; especially Scripture based insight.
Thanks.