What is Gods will for aspies?

[Ben Collyer]

I have tried everything to try and create a positive outlook on life despite my difficulties and in the end it crumbles because I realise Im just lying to myself, pretending.

most aspies are doomed to live a life where they can't socialise successfully with peers their own age. that alone is a cross too heavy to bear, especially seeing as the only consolation we have is the hope for the release of death. so life is spent patiently waiting for death. In between there may be periods of seeming happiness or enjoyment of life, but this house of cards quickly fails.

how does someone begin to accept themselves with aspergers?

for the aspie, God has willed that we face a life of intense rejection, bullying, loneliness, depression. why do NT's get the best of both worlds? they get to enjoy their lives AND work for Gods kingdom.

why has God done this? when there is no hope for happiness in this life

 

[SeraTaru]

Hello Ben,

I don't know what it's like to be you or walk in your shoes, so I can only speak from theory. However I do believe that God's promises apply equally to you :

Jeremiah 29:11-13English Standard Version (ESV)

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

Paul also writes (can't remember where atm) that in his weaknesses, God was glorified even more.

This is the hard path of faith - to choose to believe when believing seems a joke.

I would encourage you to watch some of Joni Eareckson's videos on youtube - especially the ones where she gives her testimony to a live audience. She has been in a wheelchair paralysed from the neck down for 50 years now as a result of a freak accident and through it she has found such a deep and rewarding purpose and relationship with God that quite frankly it puts me to shame.

Take 50 mins today and check her out and see if your heart responds.

Peace & Love from Ireland

~David

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

why has God done this? when there is no hope for happiness in this life

Remember wwi, wwii, dozens of species of animals extinct or near extinction,
the book titled (close to, if not this) "The Poisoning of America",
korean war, vietnam war, afghanistan, iraq, iran,
riots, sexual predators in high places in politics and religion,
growing numbers of homeless in the USA, many more veterans not able to get help in the va medical system, nor to avoid homelessness, poverty, hunger,
the widespread opiate addictions twice what it was a couple years ago...

Why has GOD done this ?

God was actually GENEROUS with the earth and all that is in it - GENEROUS to mankind in spite of the harm mankind does to the earth and to one another.

Yes, only a few find the narrow road to life. And many stay on the wide road to destruction.

That is not God's fault - He takes great delight in helping men who turn to Him.

His eyes roam to and fro over the whole earth, seeking to SHOW HIMSELF STRONG for anyone who is trusting Him.

Some moms got upset what mankind is doing to itself too.
They are world wide now, called moms against autism, working on over 14 different approaches to help, with already better success than official channels.

Do a search to see some of the headway they have remarkably made in just 2 years ,
via search terms << moms against autism >>
include for more search results: << "no dairy" >>
as they have discovered close connection in many cases to health damage and dairy (not just autism spectrum either).

And many other things they have discovered, simple moms that care, world wide ...

 

[Sarah G]

As far as I know I am NT (although I have always had problem with depression and anxiety) but still I found myself having this (sad to say) argument with God this morning. Why do we have these various afflictions that make our lives so miserable? It seems unfair. It is more unfair for non-NTs obviously.

I hope someone has some sort of comforting explanation beyond ''We all have our cross to bear!'' or blaming vaccines and whatnot.

 

[SeraTaru]

What's NT?

 

[Sarah G]

What's NT?

Neurotypical: not displaying or characterized by autistic or other neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behaviour.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

I hope someone has some sort of comforting explanation beyond ''We all have our cross to bear!'' or blaming vaccines and whatnot.

First of all, don't blame anything until being tested for deficiencies (like enzymes lacking, leaky gut, food/lactose/dairy intolerance) and toxicities (lead, cadmium, aluminum, mercury, and about 100 drugs currently in the water supply in some cities, pesticides, herbicides, msg, etc etc etc) .
God did not create us to be scavengers of the earth, after all.
Those tests will help many , not all, people, even healthy appearing people who don't realize they've been affected,
and sick people even if they don't fully recover, they improve with a better diet and fewer poisons.

Then read Hebrews (or read Hebrews first).

As written, God orchestrates EVERYTHING , what is good or bad, for the good of those in His Purpose, as always. Hard times, life times, good times, all designed and planned by Him as written.

It would be more remarkable and obvious also, if God's People took care of one another like they did in ACTS, in the first century, DAILY.

(instead of expecting and even training people to get out and live on their own,
which is , apparently, not God's Will)

 

[SeraTaru]

Hi Sarah,

It can seem crass and / or shallow to post the "its a sinful world" type of response.

But that's the really the bottom line.

We live in a wicked, evil world. We are wicked ourselves and had any one of us been in Eden and faced with that tree, we'd have all done the same thing.

My Christian life over 27 years has been characterized by falling away and coming back. I get very angry at God about things in my life and the main thoughts I've struggled with have all been along the lines of "God's not loving, He's not fair, He loves punishing me" etc etc.

Why was I the child of a rape in 1968 and never knew my father?
Why did my adopted family cover it up and lie to me until I was in my 30's about who I was?
Why did my first wife (a Christian - apparently) throw me out of the house for no reason, end our marriage, leave me with all the debts and ruin my relationship with my daughter who I've not seen for 2 years now?
Why did my wonderful new wife of 4 years find out last week that she's cancer?

I felt really challenged last week. I can't say that God spoke to me. But I said to my wife - "I've realized that I need to grow up and stop behaving like a spoiled child. I throw temper tantrums like a 2 year old when God doesn't do what I want".

I look at all the failings I've had over the years (once walking away from God for 6 years and getting into Satanism, drug use and becoming a very heavy drinker). I realize those times were MY fault. I missed amazing chances to grow close to Christ.

Remember Job's wife told him "curse God and die"? His reply was basically "shut yer yap woman....shall we accept good from God and not evil?".

I wish....O how I wish I'd made different choices. I took my eyes off the Man of Sorrows and wallowed in self pity. I missed YEARS of lessons that Christ needed to teach me. Now I'm almost 50 and I'm starting again from scratch and I think "Jesus where would I be today if I'd submitted to you in those times?".

Think about that name for the Son of God.

Man of Sorrows.

"Hey Jesus you coming over for dinner later?"
"Why sure John mind if I bring some friends?"
"No problem Lord...who you wanna bring?"
"Well I've misery, sadness, grief, tears and frustration...think you can set out a few places because I know these guys REAL well".
"Uh.........Lord you sure you're um....up for it because I've just realized I've something else on today".

The only comfort I can bring you is trust, and encouragement not to be a fool like me and miss the chance to press into Christ today. The way of the Saviour is the way of Suffering.

Be blessed and I trust not offended by anything I've posted, I trust you find light, love and comfort

 

[Sarah G]

Hi Sarah,

It can seem crass and / or shallow to post the "its a sinful world" type of response.

But that's the really the bottom line.

We live in a wicked, evil world. We are wicked ourselves and had any one of us been in Eden and faced with that tree, we'd have all done the same thing.

My Christian life over 27 years has been characterized by falling away and coming back. I get very angry at God about things in my life and the main thoughts I've struggled with have all been along the lines of "God's not loving, He's not fair, He loves punishing me" etc etc.

Why was I the child of a rape in 1968 and never knew my father?
Why did my adopted family cover it up and lie to me until I was in my 30's about who I was?
Why did my first wife (a Christian - apparently) throw me out of the house for no reason, end our marriage, leave me with all the debts and ruin my relationship with my daughter who I've not seen for 2 years now?
Why did my wonderful new wife of 4 years find out last week that she's cancer?

I felt really challenged last week. I can't say that God spoke to me. But I said to my wife - "I've realized that I need to grow up and stop behaving like a spoiled child. I throw temper tantrums like a 2 year old when God doesn't do what I want".

I look at all the failings I've had over the years (once walking away from God for 6 years and getting into Satanism, drug use and becoming a very heavy drinker). I realize those times were MY fault. I missed amazing chances to grow close to Christ.

Remember Job's wife told him "curse God and die"? His reply was basically "shut yer yap woman....shall we accept good from God and not evil?".

I wish....O how I wish I'd made different choices. I took my eyes off the Man of Sorrows and wallowed in self pity. I missed YEARS of lessons that Christ needed to teach me. Now I'm almost 50 and I'm starting again from scratch and I think "Jesus where would I be today if I'd submitted to you in those times?".

Think about that name for the Son of God.

Man of Sorrows.

"Hey Jesus you coming over for dinner later?"
"Why sure John mind if I bring some friends?"
"No problem Lord...who you wanna bring?"
"Well I've misery, sadness, grief, tears and frustration...think you can set out a few places because I know these guys REAL well".
"Uh.........Lord you sure you're um....up for it because I've just realized I've something else on today".

The only comfort I can bring you is trust, and encouragement not to be a fool like me and miss the chance to press into Christ today. The way of the Saviour is the way of Suffering.

Be blessed and I trust not offended by anything I've posted, I trust you find light, love and comfort

Sorry to hear about your wife's cancer. I am not offended by your post. I like it. I was feeling a bit bratty this morning, in fact. You are right. Am I just going to continue going in and out of spiritual life (falling away) for the rest of my life? Not a good option, as you point out. It just brings me more misery and then when I'm broken I will be on my knees crying, again. Well this isn't my thread so I don't want to take it over with my posts so I will just round this off with a thank you for the chastisement which is actually useful. Lighting a candle for your wife (and for you) may she find comfort, strength and healing in the Holy Spirit

 

[SeraTaru]

Just keep looking to Christ Sarah and PM me any time - don't make the same mistakes as this old fool

Bless You

 

[Ben Collyer]

Why has God ordained that some people lead lifes free of suffering whilst others are ordained to lead their entire lives as a struggle?

I know about Gods sovereignity....i have studied it but....thats not fair?

 

[Ben Collyer]

also, apart from the difficulties we face, God has promised us peace and joy, im surprised no one has mentioned these promises and how we can take hold of them

 

[SeraTaru]

Hi Ben,

Breaking News : Life Is Not Fair.

You're not alone in feeling these things. There are people in my "circle" who just seem to have everything fall into place....big house, nice cars, health, 4 holidays a year, nice position in the church, well thought of, good relationship with God.....and they're not very nice people either.

My life - well read my little summary further up. There's about 20 more pages I can write to fill in the details but I feel life is hard with some of the things I've come through.

Or there's my wife - the sweetest, kindest most unworldly person I've ever met. Before I met her I lived like the devil and got away with my sins. Andrea doesn't even drink a glass of wine, is kind to everyone round her, in those "human terms" she's one of those people that never does wrong.

But she has bronchitis, an enlarged liver, arthritis in the spine, fibromyalgia (head to toe pain 24 hours a day) and now breast cancer. Her first husband cheated on her for 5 years and got her best friend pregnant. Then he left her up to her eyes in debt.

Why?

I have no idea.

Because we live in a sin sick world and remember the bible calls Satan the Ruler of this Age.

You need to realise this. Jesus isn't Santa Claus. He wipes away the tears in THE AGE TO COME.

Let me share another story of someone in my circle. Lovely guy at school - loved God, lived a clean life, good family. Head of year, captain of the rugby team...you get the picture. Coming off the rugby pitch one day about 20 years ago one of his team mates tripped him up "for a laugh". Guess what....he broke his neck and was paralysed from the neck down FOR LIFE. 18 years of age.

The police were involved and it was all over the news.

Long story short....fast forward to today. The guy is married to a lovely Christian girl, runs his own business and NO-ONE can talk about him without their eyes filling with tears at what a shining example of a Christian and just a "real nice guy" that he is. He's still in a wheelchair, still can't feed himself, still has to get others to clean his bottom, wash him and dress him.

Same person could have woken up in hospital, started moaning and whining about the unfairness of life and ended up bitter and useless.

The path of faith in Christ is a path of suffering, not frothy happy clappy joy, jets and blessing...I don't care what those idiots on God.tv or TBN say.

IF you allow Christ to work through you in this....have you ever thought of the countless hurting people that He could touch through you? Or you could moan your way through life and get nowhere.

Please consider my earlier post where I warned of the years I've wasted by being a complainer. Learn from someone who with bitter experience knows what they're talking about.

Christ could have an amazing future planned out for you. But you need to let him change your thought patterns and allow him to give you a vision for your life of what He could do through you.

I'm in the UK too, so if you want me to give you a ring at any time and spend an hour on the phone I'd be blessed to do that...just PM me and I'll give you my number,

UPDATE : Please note that it's not my intention to come across as hard or offensive - if I have the please forgive me, I still need to learn more compassion which I know I'm not very good at. I don't know what it's like to have your illness, but I do know what it's like to waste years of my life in complaints at God. My directness comes from a heart that wants to see you grow and excel in God and prove that "with Christ all things are possible".

Blessings

~David

 

[PeaceB]

Why has God ordained that some people lead lifes free of suffering whilst others are ordained to lead their entire lives as a struggle?

I know about Gods sovereignity....i have studied it but....thats not fair?

Hmm. A few thoughts on this.

To suffer in vain is pointless, but you can give suffering value by imitating our Lord and offering up your suffering to God for the good of other men. He will then use it for his own purposes, as he uses our Lord’s sufferings to redeem the world.

Do you feel lonely and forsaken? How lonely and forsaken must our Lord have felt as he hung on the cross? You can use your suffering to meditate on the sacrifice that Jesus made for us, to understand him better, and to grow in a closer relationship with him.

God gives every Christian a cross to bear. Your cross is not too heavy to bear, because our Lord helps each of us bear our cross, and with him nothing is impossible.

Nobody has an easy life, or a life that is free of suffering. If you look at your life objectively, you will see that many people are blessed in ways that you are not, but you will also see that you are blessed in many ways that other people are not (my younger brother has autism). The same is true for everyone.

And there is no hope for happiness in this life for anyone, apart from one’s relationship with God. That is the only place where our hearts can rest and find happiness. Many of the people who have “everything” in the world that should seemingly make a person happy in this life are miserable on the inside.

You are called to imitate Jesus, as is every Christian, and that certainly does not mean leading a life free of suffering. So I say get on with that, do your best, bear your cross, and have confidence that your loving Father will reward your good works with rewards that last for eternity.

 

[Tolworth John]

also, apart from the difficulties we face, God has promised us peace and joy, im surprised no one has mentioned these promises and how we can take hold of them

Ben,
We only get God's peace and joy when we surrender our problems to him and that is easy to say but oh so hard to do.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Ben,
We only get God's peace and joy when we surrender our problems to him and that is easy to say but oh so hard to do.

Yes, especially since we live in such a difficult world, all around.
The governments, religions, doctros, schools, [mostly] don't want anyone to surrender our problems to God -
they all have their own pat way of handling things instead.

 

[Tolworth John]

The governments, religions, doctros, schools, [mostly] don't want anyone to surrender our problems to God

How do those you've quoted have control over ones own problems?

Jesus doesn't address nations or government organisations.
He speaks directly to us all as individuals and deals with us as individuals.

 

[Christie insb]

I have tried everything to try and create a positive outlook on life despite my difficulties and in the end it crumbles because I realise Im just lying to myself, pretending.

most aspies are doomed to live a life where they can't socialise successfully with peers their own age. that alone is a cross too heavy to bear, especially seeing as the only consolation we have is the hope for the release of death. so life is spent patiently waiting for death. In between there may be periods of seeming happiness or enjoyment of life, but this house of cards quickly fails.

how does someone begin to accept themselves with aspergers?

for the aspie, God has willed that we face a life of intense rejection, bullying, loneliness, depression. why do NT's get the best of both worlds? they get to enjoy their lives AND work for Gods kingdom.

why has God done this? when there is no hope for happiness in this life

I am so sorry you are having a hard time, Ben. I know God wants the best for us, but sometimes I think we just need someone to listen to us and to say, "I am so sorry that happened to you" rather than telling us to be stronger. We are exactly as strong as we are, and God knows that. But he suffers with us. Sometimes we need someone in person to tell our stories to, people who can convey God's love and understanding to us. You might seek out a counselor who is skilled at working with high functioning people on the spectrum. But as a supposed NT person, I gotta tell you, life isn't always a bowl of cherries for us either.

 

[Sabertooth]

Romans 12:6-8 says,
"Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith; or ministry, let us use it in our ministering; he who teaches, in teaching; he who exhorts, in exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness."

I believe that autistic people (when sanctified & anointed) represent the first gifting in this passage. If you look at the characteristics of that gift in detail, it parallels the Aspergers experience.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

I have tried everything to try and create a positive outlook on life despite my difficulties and in the end it crumbles because I realise Im just lying to myself, pretending.

don't do that. don't pretend. don't look at a pile of dung and convince yourself it's a bed of roses. you are miserable with where your life is at right now. you must figure out how to make changes. you can do this, but it will take work.

most aspies are doomed to live a life where they can't socialise successfully with peers their own age.

this is not true.

ALL aspies will have to work harder than NTs to develop social skills. it is in every way possible for it to be done, but, again, it will take work. no, it's not fair, but such is life.

how does someone begin to accept themselves with aspergers?

there are those who are okay with who they are and are at peace with their life circumstances. then there are other aspies who want something better and are willing to do what it takes for things to change. Christ gives us the power to do either one.

when there is no hope for happiness in this life

this is also not true. don't give up on yourself buddy. where there's a will there's a way.