What is a healthy view of sex ?( personal/mature)

[FireDragon76]

It does start and end with marriage. Intimate relations (sexual ) are confined STRICTLY within the confines of marriage.

I don't think so. Such an intimate human relationship cannot be reduced to pure legalism.

 

[BukiRob]

I don't think so.

Well, scripture would disagree with you. Sexual intercourse is EXCLUSIVELY designed within the confines of MARRIAGE...

 

[Blade]

Seems I am on a Christian forum. So.. the word of God makes this very clear.. sex before marriage is wrong. It is a sin no more no less. This is not any Church view.. its the word of GOD. What WE do know.. remember.. SIN has a price. Sure.. it can feel awesome.. but.. there is ALWAYS a price..

If we did it.. we to go to Jesus repent and He makes us brand new.... do we LOVE Jesus or not? Remember.. right and wrong and the fence in the middle? The FENCE .. is not from God. We are WITH Him or not. Its NEVER ok to sin .. we are NOT slaves to sin.. we have been set free..

 

[Kutte]

I feel at 25 I still somewhat cringe I guess because Idk maybe I'm not emotionally ready. But I also feel my anxiety has walls built around me to where I can't feel anything, you know?
I just feel weird bc everyone my age is just going crazy about sex ...and one of the reasons I don't mind not having a bf is because I feel sex would be apart of that relationship and I just don't crave sex as much as other people...my libido is very low.

I just wonder as a Christian what is a healthy view of sex? I don't see it as dirty..I think its beautiful with the right person and under the right circumstances..

I just ask this question because I can't get the guy I had sex with out of my mind(first and only) and I felt numb, no connection at all...and I worry ...in the future if I happen to find a great guy if my anxiety will prevent me from making that connection that's made during that intimate moment. And it worries me, that's one of the reasons I don't want to be in a relationship because of the pressure of sex

Please no immature answers, just honest thoughts.

Hi Far Side Of The Moon,

Let's abstain from the word 'sex' and call it what it really means, "Love Making". Love making is a God given gift for providing pleasure, for the purpose of bringing children into this world. Unfortunately, in some cultures, religious institutions too, we learn that love making is somehow dirty, to be ashamed off, that it is sinful. They are against 'sex education' and want us to remain shy and ignorant. Try to overcome anxiety. Prayer is helpful.
God bless

 

[Kutte]

Seems I am on a Christian forum. So.. the word of God makes this very clear.. sex before marriage is wrong. It is a sin no more no less. This is not any Church view.. its the word of GOD. What WE do know.. remember.. SIN has a price. Sure.. it can feel awesome.. but.. there is ALWAYS a price..

If we did it.. we to go to Jesus repent and He makes us brand new.... do we LOVE Jesus or not? Remember.. right and wrong and the fence in the middle? The FENCE .. is not from God. We are WITH Him or not. Its NEVER ok to sin .. we are NOT slaves to sin.. we have been set free..

Hi Blade,

It would have been helpful pointing out scripture references indicating that 'sex' before marriage is wrong.
My best

 

[BukiRob]

Hi Blade,

It would have been helpful pointing out scripture references indicating that 'sex' before marriage is wrong.
My best

Fornication is sexual intercourse between UNMARRIED people. Adultery is sexual intercourse where at least one or both persons is married.

In Exodus 22:16 - 17, “If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged, and lies with her, he must pay the bride-price for her, and she will be his wife.

This is a case where rape is not involved. Clearly, the man MUST marry and he must pay the virgin bride-price.

Any subsequent sexual activity outside of the relationship with his now wife is adultery.

In Deuteronomy 22:28 - 29 it says, “If a man finds a girl who is a virgin, who is not engaged, and seizes her and lies with her and they are discovered, then the man who lay with her shall give to the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall become his wife because he has violated her; he cannot divorce her all his days.”

Here she is forced (raped or at a minimum coerced ) again he is bound to her and may not divorce her and if he is found to have relations with another it is adultery.

It is pretty clear that premarital sex the way it is in current society is a sin.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Hi Far Side Of The Moon,

Let's abstain from the word 'sex' and call it what it really means, "Love Making". Love making is a God given gift for providing pleasure, for the purpose of bringing children into this world. Unfortunately, in some cultures, religious institutions too, we learn that love making is somehow dirty, to be ashamed off, that it is sinful. They are against 'sex education' and want us to remain shy and ignorant. Try to overcome anxiety. Prayer is helpful.
God bless

I know its not dirty, I'm not ashamed at all.

 

[Mercy Mc Hass]

Personally, I think it's awesome that you already view sex as a part of a relationship (marriage, hopefully). It's tough to crave sex and it's awesome you don't have that distraction right now. You seem to have a good view of it. Sex is very special, but it's also not really meant to be our goal in life, haha, like many people seem to view it as. You might need to find some friends who share your views.

Sex is a good thing inside of God's guidelines. He gave them for a reason. It's ideal to follow what He says. One day, you'll commit to that one person you will love forever, and when you enter into that commitment, sex is a "side effect" that, along with supporting, respecting, and loving each other, will help bring you closer together. Many people view sex as a recreational thing, but that was never meant to be.

Hope this helps a little. It's okay not to care about sex. My husband didn't, until we got married. And he's perfectly normal, I think not having that distraction was actually a very good thing, he advanced a lot faster than other guys his age.

I feel at 25 I still somewhat cringe I guess because Idk maybe I'm not emotionally ready. But I also feel my anxiety has walls built around me to where I can't feel anything, you know?
I just feel weird bc everyone my age is just going crazy about sex ...and one of the reasons I don't mind not having a bf is because I feel sex would be apart of that relationship and I just don't crave sex as much as other people...my libido is very low.

I just wonder as a Christian what is a healthy view of sex? I don't see it as dirty..I think its beautiful with the right person and under the right circumstances..

I just ask this question because I can't get the guy I had sex with out of my mind(first and only) and I felt numb, no connection at all...and I worry ...in the future if I happen to find a great guy if my anxiety will prevent me from making that connection that's made during that intimate moment. And it worries me, that's one of the reasons I don't want to be in a relationship because of the pressure of sex

Please no immature answers, just honest thoughts.

 

[LinkH]

He seemed to be okay with David having concubines...

(By the way, IMO sex before marriage shouldn't happen because it breaks trust in relationships.)

He was talking about premarital sex, not polygamy, which is another topic.

 

[LinkH]

In I Thessalonians, we read that it is the will of God that you be sanctified and that you abstain from fornication.

Sex is a beautiful thing, intended for marriage.

It is a bad thing for children to be raised in a home with one parent. It puts them at a disadvantage. With adults fornicate, the ones who suffer are the children born of fornication, even more so if the parents don't marry. There are web pages that will show you the statistical disadvantage children are at if they are raised without a father in the home.

If you think about that and the spread of diseases, it makes a lot of sense that the Bible teaches against fornication. The Bible teaches that two should be one flesh.

So wait until you are married. But it is good to have a positive attitude toward sex in marriage and to be ready and willing to meet one's partners needs.

 

[Ratjaws]

Far Side,

First I say the quote at the bottom of your question says much about your mindset. As I read it you have a very secular mindset that does not easily allow the opinions of other persons. This is how it's meant to be taken because the non-Christian world is self-seeking and not self-donating. As a matter of fact such reasoning is circular since if "no one can see" the way you do then you cannot see the way anyone else does. End result is that we cannot communicate and yet, the word itself, to communicate, comes from the Latin... cum, with + municare, union... that is when we communicate we "unite with" another being (be that a thing or person). This is how God made us and intends for us to live and the contrary is the essence of sin. This with the prequalification that we seek good advice, rational advice, the kind that does not violate our faith which comes from revelation. Keep in mind what St. Francis said in this matter: "let reason rule passion, let God rule reason." In other words we don't deny how God created us rather we maintain the order proper to our nature.

This being said I suspect your problem is with so many conflicting opinions on how a Christian should conduct their sexual life. You therefore shut yourself down and allow a very limited set of opinions into your mind that still don't quite dispell the confusion you seek to alleviate. You need to take a leap in your understanding and face Christ more directly and you do so by seeking the "opinion" of the Church He initiated. This Church has both visible and invisible characteristics; that is is both real flesh and blood as well as a spiritual aspect. Now contrary to what many Christians may say it is not purely spiritual nor is is just "me and Jesus" apart from those whom Christ personally chooses to use as instruments of truth. In short you need to take a close look at the constant teaching of the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church, of which, the gates of Hades will never prevail. Please understand that doing so will not mislead you precisely because God gave you a mind to make judgments concerning right and wrong. In fact where your mind may error Christ gave his Church that jealously guards the content of faith. Add to this the fact that Christ gave you faith itself ("the mind of Christ" in other words) that corrects your misunderstanding, clearifies, and uplifts your intellect, and you will not be mislead by our sexually perverse society nor the devil who directs it.

Finally you need to understand why we have a sexual nature at all? Pope Paul VI said in his encyclical entitled Humanae Vitae (of Human Life, 1965) that there are two meanings to the marital relationship: procreative and unitive. To procreate infers a cooperation with God in the creation of new life. Unity implies love between a man and woman. In fact the sexual act is a special and deeper union of man and woman that carries with it the possibility of fruit. Thus the purpose of our sexual power is to act with God in causing new human beings to come into this world and furthermore to populate heaven with these beings whom God loves to the point of giving His Son's life for! We guide our children to heaven by what we teach them about our Christian faith.

So from this point of view you must find a man who also understands this about sexuality. You need not play the games the world around us plays and instead listen closely to God as He puts candidates in your path as a potential spouse. Note your task in not passive in that you must study and learn more about what God expects in relation to family. Realize that God could have circumvented our sexual nature and just zap new persons into existence much like He created Adam and Eve; yet He chose this child bearing union of man and woman in context of family. The Church calls family the domestic church because by God's design we must pass on our love to children, who also can choose God and therefore heaven; then they pass on to their children this same fundamental purpose.

Lumen Christi

 

[thesunisout]

I know , I know.

The wages of our sin is death. You can't expect any sexual relationship outside of marriage to work out. You are opening the door to great disappointment in your life.

 

[Near]

Uhmmm hello.... Did I not say that it was within G-d PERMISSIVE WILL??????????????

No, they did NOT become his wives. They were concubines its very easy to see this if you bother to look at the Jewish .

You seem to have a bizarre obsession with prostitution. Instead of giving us your GENTILE perspective on this perhaps a wise person would look to see what the Jewish view in this would be? I gave you explicit in Judiasm what the difference is between a wife and a concubine and you choose to completely ignore what the facts are and instead go off on this wild, irresponsible tirade.

No where did I suggest or say directly or indirectly that I am advocating for concubines.

Stop putting words in my mouth and try actually READING.

I didn't say they became his wives, did I?
I said they were basically his personal prostitutes. What's wrong with saying that? Essentially that's what a concubine is. If your point was that they are not exactly the same thing, then sure, they're not the exact same thing, but I didn't intend on saying they were literally just prostitutes. I said that to degrade them, because concubines are deplorable, just like prostitutes. Metaphorically, a figure of speech.

Glad you're not advocating the use of concubines, because it seemed like you didn't really say that to begin with.
Also, why is GENTILE in all-caps? and which Jewish view should I look at? The view in the Talmud? or the one that Nehemia Gordon subscribes to? or the Kabbalist view? There are a lot of Jewish views that go against scripture.

 

[Paidiske]

Many concubines ended up in such a position because they were socially vulnerable and weren't able to insist on formal marriage (etc). I'm not sure we shouldn't consider the men who used them that way as "deplorable" rather than the women who were disempowered in that situation.

 

[LinkH]

Many concubines ended up in such a position because they were socially vulnerable and weren't able to insist on formal marriage (etc). I'm not sure we shouldn't consider the men who used them that way as "deplorable" rather than the women who were disempowered in that situation.

Hebrew concubines were wives with the rights of wives.

 

[Near]

Many concubines ended up in such a position because they were socially vulnerable and weren't able to insist on formal marriage (etc). I'm not sure we shouldn't consider the men who used them that way as "deplorable" rather than the women who were disempowered in that situation.

You're right. They're both bad. Yes, it unfortunate that life led them to the position they were in, and perhaps out of ignorance they knew no better path in life, but still, a rotten egg smells very bad.

 

[timewerx]

My view is that sex is gross and why didn't God create us to reproduce asexually like sponges.

And I never want to have sex EVER.

I envy you! Recently, my sex drive gone up like I was in my teens but I'm already 35. I'm finding it hard to concentrate on things that I do like my job

 

[zoidar]

Sex is something very beautiful within the context of marriage, to share your soul with another person.

 

[BukiRob]

I didn't say they became his wives, did I?
I said they were basically his personal prostitutes. What's wrong with saying that? Essentially that's what a concubine is. If your point was that they are not exactly the same thing, then sure, they're not the exact same thing, but I didn't intend on saying they were literally just prostitutes. I said that to degrade them, because concubines are deplorable, just like prostitutes. Metaphorically, a figure of speech.

Glad you're not advocating the use of concubines, because it seemed like you didn't really say that to begin with.
Also, why is GENTILE in all-caps? and which Jewish view should I look at? The view in the Talmud? or the one that Nehemia Gordon subscribes to? or the Kabbalist view? There are a lot of Jewish views that go against scripture.

Your basically wrong. The ONLY difference between a concubine and a wife...... IS THE MARRIAGE CONTRACT.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Sex is something very beautiful within the context of marriage, to share your soul with another person.

It is. I hope I get that chance.