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What exactly are the standards?

Discussion in 'News & Current Events (Articles Required)' started by disciple Clint, May 5, 2021.

  1. com7fy8

    com7fy8 Well-Known Member Supporter

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    It can be good to have standards about what we call people. This can help ones, especially, who care about how others feel. But we can do better than just to know what names to call someone, or not.
     
  2. Bradskii

    Bradskii Well-Known Member

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  3. Ana the Ist

    Ana the Ist Aggressively serene!

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  4. disciple Clint

    disciple Clint Well-Known Member

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    a 14 year old is far more likely to follow the example of their friends, which is what she did.
     
  5. A_Thinker

    A_Thinker Well-Known Member Supporter

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    You say that as if you've only experienced black people behaving badly (in this context, using demeaning language).

    You say this as if you've never experienced any other people behaving similarly.

    As I said, as Summer Madness said, our life experience as African Americans in African American communities has been quite positive. I went to an all black grade school, and to a majority black high school, square in the heart of the city, where the graduating class numbered about 1,000. And the only times I ever heard the N-word directed toward me in a demeaning way ... was in an incident where a car of whites sped by myself and my brothers as we out one day and someone shouted the word out of the window as the car sped by.

    I got called plenty of other things, ... "square", "stupid", "ugly", "weak", etc. by some in my school community, but never the N-word. And that is exactly because we had been taught about the power of the word to hurt others, and had been parented to never utter such an epitaph.

    My environs, growing up, was not particularly prosperous, pretty much middle-of-the-road like what we saw on TV on shows like "Leave it to Beaver". My dad worked for forty years to provide for his family, while, for the most part, my mom stayed home to keep house and to care for myself and my 5 siblings. We had good family times, with trips to A&W and Dairy Queen, and had good relations with grand-parents, aunts and uncles, and our cousins.

    We weren't part of the particularly privileged set of blacks in the community, so we didn't go on vacation much ... though we did a couple memorable times, and we enjoyed plenty of trips to the local city and state parks, to softball games, to movies, the library, etc. We knew nothing of cotillions, and featured no debutantes, though association with who did came later in life.

    As I became an adult, my life in our black community (perhaps some 500,000 individuals) continued. As I said previously, my parents ... and the parents of my fiends and co-horts, wanted to give their kids the tools with which we might be able to make a viable life in this society. And I continued in line with my upbringing to live my life among those whose values were more closely aligned with mine.

    I could have sought out company whose behavior was more racous than the way I had been brought up, ... but there was no point to that. I was raised by my parents, and motivated by the community around me, to live my best life, ... and I couldn't have done that, ... if I had spent significant time in negative and unfruitful pursuits, ... or around people whose example was more negative. I came to easily know what areas of the city and its surroundings I might want to avoid, if I wanted to fulfill a goal of making a positive life for myself and any potential family of my own (which I did do).

    In my experience, African Americans are just like all other Americans. We inhabit the full range of possibilities here in America. All of us don't live sterling A+ lives, ... but some of us do, ... and we're spread all along a continuum between. All African Americans don't live in the hood, just like all whites don't live in trailer parks. Most of us live perfectly American lives in perfectly American neighborhoods.
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2021
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  6. A_Thinker

    A_Thinker Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Where do you think her friends learned it ?

    It, ultimately, had to come from adults. Babies aren't born with the knowledge of such demeaning terms. It has to be passed down ...
     
  7. disciple Clint

    disciple Clint Well-Known Member

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    Let be assure you that it came from other kids her age or from the music they listen to, I seriously know of parents who are shocked when they find out what their children have said.
     
  8. A_Thinker

    A_Thinker Well-Known Member Supporter

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    At some point, you have to acknowledge that the use of that pejorative did not arise from the black community.

    It came from the same people who came up with ... spic, dago, frog, gook, gringo, injun, kraut, mick, polack, pickaninny, spade, wetback, wog, etc. ...
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2021
  9. disciple Clint

    disciple Clint Well-Known Member

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    I will rest my case with a comment by someone who watched the video. I did not see it nor do I need to see it.
    She was 15. In a 3-second Snapchat video, imitating a rapper, she said, “I can drive, ‘n-word.’” This June, 4 years later, someone posted it. Twitter mob demanded vengeance.
    Teenager gets recording of classmate using the N-word, waits to release it so it ruins college chances
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2021
  10. Danthemailman

    Danthemailman Well-Known Member

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    I attended a Catholic school from 4th grade to 8th grade and I wish I had a dollar for every time I was called, "white trash, white hog and pecker wood" by Italian kids. Apparently their parents never taught them about the power of the word to hurt others. :(
     
  11. A_Thinker

    A_Thinker Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Apparently not.

    Tribalism can be ugly ... fitting in is hard enough without it ...
     
  12. DaisyDay

    DaisyDay blind squirrel

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    A rough comparison is how so many Trump fans call themselves "Deplorables" but, at the same time, get steamed recalling how Sen. Clinton used that very term (well, almost, she said "basket of deplorables" listing what qualities the term included.
     
  13. DaisyDay

    DaisyDay blind squirrel

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    Yes, too many people don't understand just how demeaning that is and way too many just don't care.
     
  14. jayem

    jayem Naturalist

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    That may be an explanation. But it’s not an excuse.

    I’m a white native southerner—born and reared in GA in the 5Os. Back then, the term was fairly common. But I never heard either of my parents or grandparents use that word. My mother was much more the disciplinarian in the family. She made it clear that it was an obscenity and was not to be spoken in our home. Or really anywhere. It makes a big difference when parents are involved and set firm standards.
     
  15. Ana the Ist

    Ana the Ist Aggressively serene!

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    I don't think they're bad people.

    You want to judge their behavior completely without context, that's on you.

    With that particular word? No. I don't doubt it happens.

    That's the ridiculous nature of the word. People pretend they don't use it....out of politeness....as if misrepresenting yourself is polite.

    That's rough.

    Uh huh...I think we're losing track of the point.

    It's a childhood lesson that most people learn somewhere between 5th grade and 11th.

    People will dislike, or even hate you, for all sorts of stupid reasons. Some of these reasons may even be completely beyond your control. Things like your face, skin, height, weight, voice, etc. It seems shallow and it is....but I don't see any way to change it. Most kids learn this, accept it, and move on with their lives.

    If it's any consolation to anyone who hasn't realized this yet...I promise it's not as if people hating or disliking you for completely valid reasons is any better.

    It's called life.
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2021
  16. A_Thinker

    A_Thinker Well-Known Member Supporter

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    In all honesty ... they got it from her.

    And they provide a great example of something we've talked about in this thread. They took a term, meant to demean them ... and made it their own ...
     
  17. A_Thinker

    A_Thinker Well-Known Member Supporter

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    If African Americans understand nothing else ... we clearly understand how it feels to have someone feel negatively toward you for no good reason.

    Honestly, we look at all the wailing today by white males in our society ... and just shake our heads ...
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2021
  18. Ana the Ist

    Ana the Ist Aggressively serene!

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    We all do...that's not a unique experience. It's completely universal. Everyone has felt it multiple times their entire lives.

    Case in point.
     
  19. Brihaha

    Brihaha Member

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    As a 50 year old white male, I completely agree with everything you have said in this thread. In my humble opinion, y'all have had more grace, patience and tolerance than we could have managed. I've seen your struggles since MLK was killed. And BLM is a direct response to society's failure to acknowledge every man is created equal. Nothing will change unless we change it. I spend time on blogs pleading with folks to gain perspective and try to imagine how they would feel watching family and neighbors killed without consequence for decades. I doubt I make much difference but I'm saddened by what America has become. I was naive thinking we were growing out of our racial inequality until I realized how much Obamas presidency opened my eyes to the resentment and hate still present today. I was inspired reading your comments. I appreciate them. You have a great weekend my friend. Peace
     
  20. A_Thinker

    A_Thinker Well-Known Member Supporter

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    It is part of our constant day-to-day experience ...
     
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