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What does the Bible teach about a wife being abused?

Discussion in '"My Two Cents Worth"' started by Daniel Marsh, Feb 13, 2020.

  1. Daniel Marsh

    Daniel Marsh Well-Known Member

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    This thread is only about what the scripture says and logical steps for the abused person to take. I am going to request it be moved.
     
  2. DennisTate

    DennisTate Newbie Supporter

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    One of the implications of this is that heaven...... may well have more women and children than men......... because we guys go into pride and a rather authoritarian attitude...... which is kind of like the principle of it being difficult for the wealthy to make it into heaven.

    Even poor men over these last six millennia had power over their women and children..... and we guys.... often did not use that power very well at all......


     
  3. Grumman Tomcat

    Grumman Tomcat Living in the Misinformation Age Staff Member Administrator CF Staff Trainer Supporter

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    ADMIN HAT ON
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    ADMIN HAT OFF
     
  4. Daniel Marsh

    Daniel Marsh Well-Known Member

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    Thank You,
    daniel
     
  5. Peter J Barban

    Peter J Barban Well-Known Member

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    There is no NT teaching that directly pertains. The Law of Moses did not allow women to initiate divorce or retaliate. Basically a godly woman in Bible times just had to endure an abusive relationship, though hopefully, the men of the community would help the abuser get himself under control.

    These days, of course, women can divorce, but they don't have to. They can of their own free will stay with their abuser, like the godly women of old.
     
  6. coffee4u

    coffee4u Well-Known Member

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    Staying with your abuser to be abused or even killed while your children look on and learn to do/tolerate the same is not being Godly.

    Luke 17:2

    It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble.


    Abuse is a form of unfaithfulness to the marriage voes.
    Ephesians 5:25: “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her."
     
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  7. Peter J Barban

    Peter J Barban Well-Known Member

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    Some people are willing to suffer and even die in order to please God. They love God more than they love their own lives. All martyrs know this.
     
  8. coffee4u

    coffee4u Well-Known Member

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    Just as well a wife being abused doesn't please God in the slightest. Nor is dying at the hands of your husband and leaving children to be abused being a martyr.

    Titus 3:2
    to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.

    Galatians 5:19-21
    19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God


    1 John 4:8
    8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

    Proverbs 22:3
    3 The prudent see danger and take refuge,
    but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.

    Proverbs 6:16-19
    16 There are six things the Lord hates,
    seven that are detestable to him:
    17 haughty eyes,
    a lying tongue,
    hands that shed innocent blood,
    18 a heart that devises wicked schemes,
    feet that are quick to rush into evil,
    19 a false witness who pours out lies
    and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.

     
  9. JacksBratt

    JacksBratt Searching for Truth Supporter

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    Ephesians 5:25: “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her."


    Colossians 3:19
    Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
     
  10. miamited

    miamited Ted Supporter

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    Hi daniel,

    While I certainly agree that the Scriptures give instruction on how a 'godly' man should treat his wife, let's be sure that we only apply that to the godly man. The problem in our society today, is that we want to make the ungodly live by God's rules. That hasn't ever worked and isn't likely to start working now.

    Paul is speaking to men who understand what Christ has done. He even reckons it to their considering Christ in how they treat their wives.

    Secondly, surely God does want His children to treat each other in the way that the Scriptures tell them to, and I'm sure would like it if the whole world would treat their spouses as the Scriptures instruct, abuse is not adultery.

    Moses' law was clear. Except in the case of adultery. He could have said adultery or violence or verbal abuse...but he didn't. Man's heart is wicked. Who can know it? Just as the Catholic organization strives to impress us with ways in which we can say that a marriage didn't count and so a couple can remarry with God's blessings, we want to strive to find ways that we can sweep whatever reason for which we broke the commitment of our marriages under this umbrella of allowance that Moses gave for the people of Israel to divorce. When we stand before God, I'm confident that neither attempt is going to impress Him.

    He said that when you marry, you are joined until death do you part. Moses said that when you divorce, the only exception is adultery. All of our human efforts to mold the word of God to fit within the feeble understanding and rule of man, is merely godlessness. It's really just that simple, but we don't want to believe that in our hearts. It's one of the reasons we know that God's word is true when He tells us that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Even those who proclaim to be a part of God's family are wont to accept the word of God in a way that is beneficial to themselves. Trying their best to convince themselves that they aren't really sinners. Everything I do is in keeping with God's word. Even though it says this...this is how I understand it.

    So yes, abuse is cruel and abuse can be violent and painful or merely tear at one's heart through unkind words, but abuse is not adultery. Yes, for a believer to be un-Christlike to their spouse is sin. However, just being a sinner was never offered as an excuse for divorce. It's also a two way street. Both the husband and the wife are given instruction in how each one is to treat the other. But either one not keeping their part of the bargain, is still no valid excuse before God, to break the committment of marriage.

    I think we're going to be a lot better off in our standing before God if we do as He instructs. Confess our sin and He will be faithful to forgive us our sin. Let's not mock God. Thinking that on the day of judgment we're going to dazzle Him with psychobabble about how 'our sin', wasn't really a sin.

    God bless,
    In Christ, ted
     
  11. Daniel Marsh

    Daniel Marsh Well-Known Member

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    Back then women and children were property correct? Also, extended families all lived under the same roof, correct? Today, our culture is different. So, we need to find principles of Scripture that can be applied, correct?

    There is a situation in Scripture among Abraham, Sarah and Whats her name. Were the someone moved out.
     
  12. Daniel Marsh

    Daniel Marsh Well-Known Member

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    Wow, apples and rocks. Being a martyr is not the same thing as accepting abuse and putting up with it.
     
  13. Daniel Marsh

    Daniel Marsh Well-Known Member

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    Who said abuse is not adultery?

    1 John 4:5-5:4 Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)
    5 And they belong to the world, so what they say is from the world too. And the world listens to what they say. 6 But we are from God. So the people who know God listen to us. But the people who are not from God don’t listen to us. This is how we know the Spirit that is true and the spirit that is false.

    Love Comes From God

    7 Dear friends, we should love each other, because love comes from God. Everyone who loves has become God’s child. And so everyone who loves knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love to us: He sent his only Son into the world to give us life through him. 10 True love is God’s love for us, not our love for God. He sent his Son as the way to take away our sins.

    11 That is how much God loved us, dear friends! So we also must love each other. 12 No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us. If we love each other, God’s love has reached its goal—it is made perfect in us.

    13 We know that we live in God and God lives in us. We know this because he gave us his Spirit. 14 We have seen that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world, and this is what we tell people now. 15 Anyone who says, “I believe that Jesus is the Son of God,” is a person who lives in God, and God lives in that person. 16 So we know the love that God has for us, and we trust that love.

    God is love. Everyone who lives in love lives in God, and God lives in them. 17 If God’s love is made perfect in us, we can be without fear on the day when God judges the world. We will be without fear, because in this world we are like Jesus.[a] 18 Where God’s love is, there is no fear, because God’s perfect love takes away fear. It is his punishment that makes a person fear. So his love is not made perfect in the one who has fear.

    19 We love because God first loved us. 20 If we say we love God but hate any of our brothers or sisters in his family, we are liars. If we don’t love someone we have seen, how can we love God? We have never even seen him. 21 God gave us this command: If we love God, we must also love each other as brothers and sisters.

    God’s Children Win Against the World
    5 The people who believe that Jesus is the Messiah are God’s children. Anyone who loves the Father also loves the Father’s children. 2 How do we know that we love God’s children? We know because we love God and we obey his commands. 3 Loving God means obeying his commands. And God’s commands are not too hard for us, 4 because everyone who is a child of God has the power to win against the world.
     
  14. Daniel Marsh

    Daniel Marsh Well-Known Member

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    In short, abuse is not Love therefore, it brings up the question of was it a valid marriage in the first place. Do we really believe that God will join together one who hates someone brought out by abuse with a child of God? or with anyone for that matter?

    That is why the goals of a husband are important.
     
  15. Daniel Marsh

    Daniel Marsh Well-Known Member

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    Proverbs 31:10-31 Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)
    The Perfect Wife
    10 [a] How hard it is to find the perfect wife.
    She is worth far more than jewels.
    11 Her husband depends on her.
    He will never be poor.
    12 She does good for her husband all her life.
    She never causes him trouble.
    13 She is always gathering wool and flax[c]
    and enjoys making things with her hands.
    14 She is like a ship from a faraway place.
    She brings home food from everywhere.
    15 She wakes up early in the morning,
    cooks food for her family, and gives the servants their share.
    16 She looks at land and buys it.
    She uses the money she has earned and plants a vineyard.
    17 She works very hard.
    She is strong and able to do all her work.
    18 She works late into the night
    to make sure her business earns a profit.
    19 She makes her own thread
    and weaves her own cloth.
    20 She always gives to the poor
    and helps those who need it.
    21 She does not worry about her family when it snows.
    She has given them all good, warm clothes.
    22 She makes sheets and spreads for the beds,
    and she wears clothes of fine linen.
    23 Her husband is a respected member of the city council,
    where he meets with the other leaders.
    24 She makes clothes and belts
    and sells them to the merchants.
    25 She is a strong person,[d] and people respect her.
    She looks to the future with confidence.
    26 She speaks with wisdom
    and teaches others to be loving and kind.
    27 She oversees the care of her house.
    She is never lazy.
    28 Her children say good things about her.
    Her husband brags about her and says,
    29 “There are many good women,
    but you are the best.”
    30 Grace and beauty can fool you,
    but a woman who respects the Lord should be praised.
    31 Give her the reward she deserves.
    Praise her in public for what she has done.
     
  16. Daniel Marsh

    Daniel Marsh Well-Known Member

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    If a chapter was written about The Perfect Husband, what would it say?
     
  17. coffee4u

    coffee4u Well-Known Member

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    I view abuse as adultery, it seems not many do. Obviously it is not sexual adultery with another woman, but it is a type of unfaithfulness to the marriage vows, to the vow to protect and treat his wife like the church.
    Also and perhaps I am wrong in this, but I would guess that abusers probably are committing adultery either with other women or by watching porn. It seems unlikely for an abuser to also be faithful sexually since he views his wife as less than nothing.

    1 Timothy 5:8
    But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
    Providing for can be food and shelter but keeping your family safe could also be included.

    1 Peter 3:7
    Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.


    Colossians 3:19
    Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

    Honestly, how can anyone read these verses and think that abuse is okay (physical, emotional or sexual) and that women should simply live with it and accept it? Meanwhile, the male children are learning to be abusers and the female children are learning they must accept abuse as women? How can anyone think God wants that?
     
  18. Peter J Barban

    Peter J Barban Well-Known Member

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    It would show my picture!
     
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