what does it really mean to be "my brother's/sister's keeper"?

[lambkisses]

A couple days ago there was another major stir in the family that made me wonder what exactly does it mean to be "my brother's keeper". Right now every one in my family is furious with my husband.
On Wednesday I was out running errands with my mother when I received a panicked call from my sister in law that her 16 year old, my step niece, didn't show up at school. (Don't worry all, she was found 6 hours later with her boyfriend but that is immaterial to my issue, although we do praise God for delivering her).
Of course my mother and I are concerned so we start calling every one we know to see if they could help look for her. Naturally the first person I call is my husband. When I called him and told him what happened he told me to "relax, because I just missed her by half an hour". So I asked him where she went and he told me that he didn't know and that she told him she was leaving home.
Upon hearing that my reaction was pretty much:
"She's doing what? ! And you didn't think to call me or her mother? ! You just let her go? ! You didn't even ask where she was going? !", and so forth. That's when my mom swung the car around and we both headed to my husband's office. On the way we managed to call my father, my brother, and my sister in law so we all arrived at my husband's office at the same time.
Naturally my sister in law was hysterical, her 18 year old had just recently left home and is estranged from the family and now this. She was shouting and screaming and demanding to know where her baby girl was and what my husband knew. It was so bad that my husband's boss made us all go into my husband's office and close the door. So this is what my husband told us:
He said that about an hour before we all got there, my step niece showed up at his work and was wanting to see him or the "Companions". So they got my husband and he asks her what's up and why isn't she in school. He then said that she told him that she wants to leave home and that she knew she could trust him so she came to see him for a small loan to "start her new life". At this point every one's reaction was "WHAT THE HELL, YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU NEEDED TO CALL HER PARENTS? YOU GAVE HER MONEY AND SENT HER ON HER WAY? WHAT KIND OF ADULT ARE YOU? " . He then told every one to "relax" abs he didn't just "give her money and send her on her way". He told us that he told her that it was "Dangerous to go alone" so he gathered his "Companions" and ordered each one of them to "give her an item of power which would aid her in her spirt quest". Right here you would have thought that of 7 grown adults (the 6 "Companions"plus my husband) some body would have stepped up and said that maybe they should call the parents or a truant officer, but no. Instead one of the girls pulled out a cell phone and started recording and every one of them gave her a nicknack for her quest. From what my husband said, corroborated on video that was shot, she received from the Comoanions: a coffee mug, a handful of rubber bands, a fidget spinner, a granola bar, 2 highlighters and a zippo. And all the while you can see that all 6 of them were snickering and joking. Then my husband said that he took her out to his truck and allowed her to select one item out of the back. He said that she chose a machete, so that's why it's unfair for us to accuse him of just sending her on her way. That's when my father erupted and was all like "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? ! YOU GAVE HER A MACHETE?! AND LET HER LEAVE? " . My husband then cooly replied to him that even at the beginning of a video game they always start you off with one weapon a few items so he didn't see what the big deal was. My sister in law then chimed in that the "big deal" was that he turned a 16 year old, who should be in school, loose with out any real concern for her wellbeing or that of her family. That is when my husband told her that her daughter "wasn't his problem". Now everyone was shouting and my brother and father demanded to speak to the "Companions" so my husband opened the door and blew into a hunting horn and all six of them piled into the office. Again the questions of where she's went? Why did you let her leave? were asked and the answers were pretty much we don't know, we don't care this isn't our problem. He added that this is a relatively safe area and that since she is white she"will be fine " and that she will most likely come back when she gets hungry. My husband then said that he was expecting vendor to come meet him so he couldn't spend any more time on this but if we wanted help to look for her, he would let us have 2 of the Companions but I would need to take them to the house so they could "saddle up" (my husband still wasn't taking this seriously ). My sister in law then laid into him saying that he is the most immature insensitive a hole she had ever met and that he would be held accountable if anything happened to her little girl. He then retorted that he was sure that the bang up job she was doing as a mother had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that her older daughter is a basket case and that now her younger one ran off too. My sister in law was about to jump across the desk to hit him but she was restrained by the two female Companions. My husband then had us all thrown out.
Luckily we found her a few hours later when the parent of one of her friends called.
That night when my husband got home we had a long discussion about this. Basically he justified his actions with, "I don't like your sister in law, her daughter isn't my problem, so I have no responsibility or duty towards her". I tried to remind him if the story of Cain and Able and how God was displeased when Cain asked if he is his brother's keeper. My husband says that what displeased God was Cain's wrath and envy. And he said furthermore he nor I are even blood related to my sister in law or her daughters so the Cain and Able example doesn't apply.
This is what got me to thinking what does it mean to be one's keeper? Did my husband shirk his duty as my step niece's "keeper" did he have a responsibility as her keeper? Did his Companions have a responsibility? I am speaking of responsibility in a biblical sense.

 

[Hearingheart]

Wow, you have a lot of drama in your family.

My oldest son "ran away" from home once. He was 16 and had a truck. He didn't like our rules so he stormed out of the house and left saying he could do better on his own.

So I called the parents of his friends and explained the situation and asked they just keep an eye out for him but don't say anything about us calling them. He couch surfed for a week and he did go to school (I drove by the parking lot each day to see if the truck was there).

I have no idea what conversations took place at his friends homes or what may have been said by the parents, but he came home with a much different attitude.

This particular child seemed prone to push the envelope and this is not the only time he caused us to grow some grey hair. All in all, the ability to step back and breathe and give the Holy Spirit a chance to be heard has made the difference between harsh treatment and loving treatment.

 

[Galatea]

Your husband sounds like a jerk, in my opinion.

Whenever a child is in danger, it is incumbent upon all of us to try and protect that child. How would he have felt if she would have been killed?

Besides, Cain is not exactly the best person to emulate.

If your husband is a Christian, he most certainly had a duty to try and protect a child.

Loving one's neighbor as one's self. If you two have teens, would he not want to be alerted if they ran away?

I'm sorry for sounding kind of harsh, but he seems kind of a jerk. Godly men are protective men, in my opinion.

 

[lambkisses]

Wow, you have a lot of drama in you family.

You have no idea!

Your husband sounds like a jerk, in my opinion.

You are not the only one

How would he have felt if she would have been killed?

He said it is not his problem and that if that had happened it would be on my sister in law because he seems to think it was her crappy parenting that lead her to want to run away. And that is if anything he let her choose an item to aid her quest. Furthermore he said in his culture 16 is an adult.

Loving one's neighbor as one's self. If you two have teens, would he not want to be alerted if they ran away?

YES!

I'm sorry for sounding kind of harsh, but he seems kind of a jerk. Godly men are protective men, in my opinion.

You have no complaint from me.

 

[Hearingheart]

All in all, the ability to step back and breathe and give the Holy Spirit a chance to be heard has made the difference between harsh treatment and loving treatment.

I'm quoting myself because this is for you personally. I didn't want it to get lost in the shuffle and because you keep allowing yourself to get sucked into the drama.

 

[lambkisses]

I'm quoting myself because this is for you personally. I didn't want it to get lost in the shuffle and because you keep allowing yourself to get sucked into the drama.

I appreciate that. Really though with this particular situation, I view it as an alls well that ends well. I am not particularly angry at my husband I think it was a jerky thing he did. I think it was insensitive how he handled my sister in law. I am disappointed in him for not calling any one add I am disappointed in his friends for playing along. Seriously not one of the 6 of them had the courage to stand up to my hushed and tell him fun is fun but we need to be responsible. I am particularly disappointed in the one he calls "Eurydice" as I thought her and I were friends to the point that she was going to take me to her church to try it out, but that is about it. I do accept my husband's argument that a 16 yo running off in this area is not in particular danger. But I am still wanting to explore the philosophical merits of being our brother's keepers.

 

[Hearingheart]

But I am still wanting to explore the philosophical merits of being our brother's keepers.

Take from gotquestions.org

Question: "Am I my brother’s keeper?"

Answer: The phrase “my brother’s keeper” occurs in the context of the story of Cain and Abel in Genesis 4:1-9. After the Lord God had expelled Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden for their disobedience, Cain killed his brother Abel out of jealousy that God had found Abel’s sacrifice acceptable, but He had rejected Cain’s. After the murder, the Lord, knowing full well what had happened, asked Cain where Abel was. Cain’s response was "I do not know. Am I my brother's keeper?"

There is a grain of truth in this brazen lie, despite the surly response Cain offers to the God who created him. While no one is the absolute “keeper” of others in that we are not responsible for everyone’s safety when we are not present, every man is his brother’s keeper in that we are not to commit violent acts against them or allow others to do so if we can prevent it. This sort of “keeping” is something God rightfully demands of everyone, on the grounds of both justice and love. But Cain’s reply indicates a total lack of any kind of feeling for another human being—not to mention the absence of brotherly love—and the overriding presence of the kind of selfishness which kills affection and gives rise to hatred.

So are Christians to be the keepers of other Christians? Yes, in two ways. First we are not to commit acts of violence against one another. This includes violence of the tongue in the form of gossip and “quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder” (1 Corinthians 12:20). Second, we are to exhibit brotherly love toward our brothers and sisters in Christ with a tender heart and a humble mind (1 Peter 3:8). In this way, we “keep” those for whom Christ gave His life.

One of the golden chapters of the Bible is 1 Corinthians 13. In this magnificent portion of the Scriptures, we are reminded that love is even greater than faith and hope. Chapter 13 comes on the heels of Paul’s explanation of how the Body of Christ (the Church) is like the human body and is made up of many members, all of whom are important to the function and well-being of the Body. We are continually encouraged throughout the New Testament to love one another (Hebrews 13:1; Romans 12:10; 1 Thessalonians 4:9). Sometimes love must correct, admonish or reprove (2 Thessalonians 3:13-15; Matthew 18:15). However, correction is always to be done in the spirit of love with the goal of reconciliation.

Paul the apostle wrote to the church at Thessalonica, “And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake. Be at peace among yourselves. Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all. See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all” (1 Thessalonians 5:12-15).

So, as Christians, we are to be our brother’s keeper. As Paul wrote, “Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify (build up) another” (Romans 14:19).

 

[noam burde]

A couple days ago there was another major stir in the family that made me wonder what exactly does it mean to be "my brother's keeper". Right now every one in my family is furious with my husband.
On Wednesday I was out running errands with my mother when I received a panicked call from my sister in law that her 16 year old, my step niece, didn't show up at school. (Don't worry all, she was found 6 hours later with her boyfriend but that is immaterial to my issue, although we do praise God for delivering her).
Of course my mother and I are concerned so we start calling every one we know to see if they could help look for her. Naturally the first person I call is my husband. When I called him and told him what happened he told me to "relax, because I just missed her by half an hour". So I asked him where she went and he told me that he didn't know and that she told him she was leaving home.
Upon hearing that my reaction was pretty much:
"She's doing what? ! And you didn't think to call me or her mother? ! You just let her go? ! You didn't even ask where she was going? !", and so forth. That's when my mom swung the car around and we both headed to my husband's office. On the way we managed to call my father, my brother, and my sister in law so we all arrived at my husband's office at the same time.
Naturally my sister in law was hysterical, her 18 year old had just recently left home and is estranged from the family and now this. She was shouting and screaming and demanding to know where her baby girl was and what my husband knew. It was so bad that my husband's boss made us all go into my husband's office and close the door. So this is what my husband told us:
He said that about an hour before we all got there, my step niece showed up at his work and was wanting to see him or the "Companions". So they got my husband and he asks her what's up and why isn't she in school. He then said that she told him that she wants to leave home and that she knew she could trust him so she came to see him for a small loan to "start her new life". At this point every one's reaction was "WHAT THE HELL, YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU NEEDED TO CALL HER PARENTS? YOU GAVE HER MONEY AND SENT HER ON HER WAY? WHAT KIND OF ADULT ARE YOU? " . He then told every one to "relax" abs he didn't just "give her money and send her on her way". He told us that he told her that it was "Dangerous to go alone" so he gathered his "Companions" and ordered each one of them to "give her an item of power which would aid her in her spirt quest". Right here you would have thought that of 7 grown adults (the 6 "Companions"plus my husband) some body would have stepped up and said that maybe they should call the parents or a truant officer, but no. Instead one of the girls pulled out a cell phone and started recording and every one of them gave her a nicknack for her quest. From what my husband said, corroborated on video that was shot, she received from the Comoanions: a coffee mug, a handful of rubber bands, a fidget spinner, a granola bar, 2 highlighters and a zippo. And all the while you can see that all 6 of them were snickering and joking. Then my husband said that he took her out to his truck and allowed her to select one item out of the back. He said that she chose a machete, so that's why it's unfair for us to accuse him of just sending her on her way. That's when my father erupted and was all like "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? ! YOU GAVE HER A MACHETE?! AND LET HER LEAVE? " . My husband then cooly replied to him that even at the beginning of a video game they always start you off with one weapon a few items so he didn't see what the big deal was. My sister in law then chimed in that the "big deal" was that he turned a 16 year old, who should be in school, loose with out any real concern for her wellbeing or that of her family. That is when my husband told her that her daughter "wasn't his problem". Now everyone was shouting and my brother and father demanded to speak to the "Companions" so my husband opened the door and blew into a hunting horn and all six of them piled into the office. Again the questions of where she's went? Why did you let her leave? were asked and the answers were pretty much we don't know, we don't care this isn't our problem. He added that this is a relatively safe area and that since she is white she"will be fine " and that she will most likely come back when she gets hungry. My husband then said that he was expecting vendor to come meet him so he couldn't spend any more time on this but if we wanted help to look for her, he would let us have 2 of the Companions but I would need to take them to the house so they could "saddle up" (my husband still wasn't taking this seriously ). My sister in law then laid into him saying that he is the most immature insensitive a hole she had ever met and that he would be held accountable if anything happened to her little girl. He then retorted that he was sure that the bang up job she was doing as a mother had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that her older daughter is a basket case and that now her younger one ran off too. My sister in law was about to jump across the desk to hit him but she was restrained by the two female Companions. My husband then had us all thrown out.
Luckily we found her a few hours later when the parent of one of her friends called.
That night when my husband got home we had a long discussion about this. Basically he justified his actions with, "I don't like your sister in law, her daughter isn't my problem, so I have no responsibility or duty towards her". I tried to remind him if the story of Cain and Able and how God was displeased when Cain asked if he is his brother's keeper. My husband says that what displeased God was Cain's wrath and envy. And he said furthermore he nor I are even blood related to my sister in law or her daughters so the Cain and Able example doesn't apply.
This is what got me to thinking what does it mean to be one's keeper? Did my husband shirk his duty as my step niece's "keeper" did he have a responsibility as her keeper? Did his Companions have a responsibility? I am speaking of responsibility in a biblical sense.

just being curious, what made her run away?. and why did she come to him?

 

[lambkisses]

just being curious, what made her run away?. and why did she come to him?

I don't know why she ran away but she went to him because she figured he would be the most likely not to call on her. He had made no secret that he doesn't like my sister in law and that he doesn't respect her authority as a parent.

 

[noam burde]

I think keeper = the adult that is supposed to watch over the child. in this context.
its usually the parents. but if a kid run away from home. than others should help find her.

 

[noam burde]

A couple days ago there was another major stir in the family that made me wonder what exactly does it mean to be "my brother's keeper". Right now every one in my family is furious with my husband.
On Wednesday I was out running errands with my mother when I received a panicked call from my sister in law that her 16 year old, my step niece, didn't show up at school. (Don't worry all, she was found 6 hours later with her boyfriend but that is immaterial to my issue, although we do praise God for delivering her).
Of course my mother and I are concerned so we start calling every one we know to see if they could help look for her. Naturally the first person I call is my husband. When I called him and told him what happened he told me to "relax, because I just missed her by half an hour". So I asked him where she went and he told me that he didn't know and that she told him she was leaving home.
Upon hearing that my reaction was pretty much:
"She's doing what? ! And you didn't think to call me or her mother? ! You just let her go? ! You didn't even ask where she was going? !", and so forth. That's when my mom swung the car around and we both headed to my husband's office. On the way we managed to call my father, my brother, and my sister in law so we all arrived at my husband's office at the same time.
Naturally my sister in law was hysterical, her 18 year old had just recently left home and is estranged from the family and now this. She was shouting and screaming and demanding to know where her baby girl was and what my husband knew. It was so bad that my husband's boss made us all go into my husband's office and close the door. So this is what my husband told us:
He said that about an hour before we all got there, my step niece showed up at his work and was wanting to see him or the "Companions". So they got my husband and he asks her what's up and why isn't she in school. He then said that she told him that she wants to leave home and that she knew she could trust him so she came to see him for a small loan to "start her new life". At this point every one's reaction was "WHAT THE HELL, YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU NEEDED TO CALL HER PARENTS? YOU GAVE HER MONEY AND SENT HER ON HER WAY? WHAT KIND OF ADULT ARE YOU? " . He then told every one to "relax" abs he didn't just "give her money and send her on her way". He told us that he told her that it was "Dangerous to go alone" so he gathered his "Companions" and ordered each one of them to "give her an item of power which would aid her in her spirt quest". Right here you would have thought that of 7 grown adults (the 6 "Companions"plus my husband) some body would have stepped up and said that maybe they should call the parents or a truant officer, but no. Instead one of the girls pulled out a cell phone and started recording and every one of them gave her a nicknack for her quest. From what my husband said, corroborated on video that was shot, she received from the Comoanions: a coffee mug, a handful of rubber bands, a fidget spinner, a granola bar, 2 highlighters and a zippo. And all the while you can see that all 6 of them were snickering and joking. Then my husband said that he took her out to his truck and allowed her to select one item out of the back. He said that she chose a machete, so that's why it's unfair for us to accuse him of just sending her on her way. That's when my father erupted and was all like "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? ! YOU GAVE HER A MACHETE?! AND LET HER LEAVE? " . My husband then cooly replied to him that even at the beginning of a video game they always start you off with one weapon a few items so he didn't see what the big deal was. My sister in law then chimed in that the "big deal" was that he turned a 16 year old, who should be in school, loose with out any real concern for her wellbeing or that of her family. That is when my husband told her that her daughter "wasn't his problem". Now everyone was shouting and my brother and father demanded to speak to the "Companions" so my husband opened the door and blew into a hunting horn and all six of them piled into the office. Again the questions of where she's went? Why did you let her leave? were asked and the answers were pretty much we don't know, we don't care this isn't our problem. He added that this is a relatively safe area and that since she is white she"will be fine " and that she will most likely come back when she gets hungry. My husband then said that he was expecting vendor to come meet him so he couldn't spend any more time on this but if we wanted help to look for her, he would let us have 2 of the Companions but I would need to take them to the house so they could "saddle up" (my husband still wasn't taking this seriously ). My sister in law then laid into him saying that he is the most immature insensitive a hole she had ever met and that he would be held accountable if anything happened to her little girl. He then retorted that he was sure that the bang up job she was doing as a mother had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that her older daughter is a basket case and that now her younger one ran off too. My sister in law was about to jump across the desk to hit him but she was restrained by the two female Companions. My husband then had us all thrown out.
Luckily we found her a few hours later when the parent of one of her friends called.
That night when my husband got home we had a long discussion about this. Basically he justified his actions with, "I don't like your sister in law, her daughter isn't my problem, so I have no responsibility or duty towards her". I tried to remind him if the story of Cain and Able and how God was displeased when Cain asked if he is his brother's keeper. My husband says that what displeased God was Cain's wrath and envy. And he said furthermore he nor I are even blood related to my sister in law or her daughters so the Cain and Able example doesn't apply.
This is what got me to thinking what does it mean to be one's keeper? Did my husband shirk his duty as my step niece's "keeper" did he have a responsibility as her keeper? Did his Companions have a responsibility? I am speaking of responsibility in a biblical sense.

the word that was used is שֹׁמֵר.
in this context it means guardian/gourd.
so it means to be responsible for that kid's safety.

 

[lambkisses]

the word that was used is שֹׁמֵר.
in this context it means guardian/gourd.
so it means to be responsible for that kid's safety.

So basically would you agree that as Christians "not my problem" is never really a valid reason to do or not do something. My husband told me that the feelings of my sister in law are not his problem, he said that the kid was most likely safe and that he believes he went above and beyond his responsibility by furnishing her a weapon.

 

[noam burde]

yes. but remember what Jesus said in Matthew 19:9:
"I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."
what I'm trying to say is that the most important things is that you and your husband don't fight to much about this.
the girl in fine. she probably learned a bit of a lesson from this. your husband got yelled at enogh also. from what it sounds. so I guess better move on.

 

[lambkisses]

yes. but remember what Jesus said in Matthew 19:9:
"I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."
what I'm trying to say is that the most important things is that you and your husband don't fight to much about this.
the girl in fine. she probably learned a bit of a lesson from this. your husband got yelled at enogh also. from what it sounds. so I guess better move on.

Me and him are fine, but the rest of the family, both mine and his are still mad at him. He doesn't seem to understand why everyone is upset. Really that's what is bothering me most is that he seems completely clueless as to why people get upset at him. Also my father uninvited him from memorial day do that means I am uninvited too since I don't trust that he and his Companions won't do something dumb I need to keep am eye on them.

 

[Clovis Man]

I am particularly disappointed in the one he calls "Eurydice"

Eurydice? EURYDICE???

Do you know anything about Greek mythology? Do you know who Eurydice was? You might have something going that you need to look into there.

 

[Clovis Man]

Oh, by the way -- that question -- "Am I my brother's keeper?" -- is asked in Genesis and the rest of the Bible explains that yes, you are. My opinion, of course.

 

[lambkisses]

Eurydice? EURYDICE???

Do you know anything about Greek mythology? Do you know who Eurydice was? You might have something going that you need to look into there.

You give him too much credit. Don't think Greek mythology think Reign the Conqureror. Look up reign the Conqureror on Wikipedia. My husband's goon squad is not a homage to the real Alexander but the Manga one.

 

[Clovis Man]

You give him too much credit. Don't think Greek mythology think Reign the Conqureror. Look up reign the Conqureror on Wikipedia. My husband's goon squats is not a homage to the real Alexander but the Manga one.

You mean the cartoons???

 

[lambkisses]

You mean the cartoons???

Precisely, immaturityis one of the things we deal with in our marriage.

 

[Clovis Man]

Whoa. I always think I'm immature, I mean I know all the DC Comics characters, The Shadow, etc, but I just listen to them on the radio/podcast. I had no idea you were dealing g with all this.