What do you wish you knew in your 20's?

[Andrew77]

Does anyone have any advice for people in their 20's, regarding college, growing in Christ, or any other areas of life?

To find a wife and marry her sooner, rather than later.

 

[Christgirl67]

I appreciate all the responses!

 

[Unofficial Reverand Alex]

I'm currently 20, a college sophomore, so I'm still trying to figure a lot out.

But, I can already say 2 things that I've started doing now that I wish I did right away in college:

1) Get a good community with other students in your church. Since actively looking for & praying for a Catholic community of friends, I've had a lot more support than I otherwise would have, and I just got elected Secretary for my college's Newman Catholic Fellowship, so yay!

2) Admit you can't. It's horribly stressful to take on such a transitional period of life on your own; admitting that you can't makes you much more dependent on God & His children, who can alleviate far more of the burden with much more joy than I ever imagined.

Oh, and thank you for starting this thread, it's interesting to read through.

 

[Christgirl67]

I'm currently 20, a college sophomore, so I'm still trying to figure a lot out.

But, I can already say 2 things that I've started doing now that I wish I did right away in college:

1) Get a good community with other students in your church. Since actively looking for & praying for a Catholic community of friends, I've had a lot more support than I otherwise would have, and I just got elected Secretary for my college's Newman Catholic Fellowship, so yay!

2) Admit you can't. It's horribly stressful to take on such a transitional period of life on your own; admitting that you can't makes you much more dependent on God & His children, who can alleviate far more of the burden with much more joy than I ever imagined.

Oh, and thank you for starting this thread, it's interesting to read through.

Good advice,and congrats!

 

[Archivist]

I go to a local school.I live with my parents,I usually just go to my classes and head home.I have a pretty good church that I have grew up in,and they emphasize supporting young people,I have just been busy working and going to school,that I really have not had the chance to get to make friends my own age.

Get to know your classmates. Don't just go to class and then head home. I was a history/political science major in college. I couldn't name all the Russian Tsars or French Kings or US Vice-Presidents today, but I can sure remember runs to the local pizza place, evenings at the movies or at a good restaurant, school dances and other school functions (plays, concerts, lectures). It is sometimes hard for a commuter to fit in but it can be done, it just takes a little effort on your part. The most important thing I learned in college wasn't what they taught in class, it was learning how to get along with people.

Take courses outside of your major. Part of college is expanding your understanding. As I said, I was a history/political science major, but I took classes in astronomy, sociology, English and American literature, public speaking (one of the most important classes I took), photography (I can still remember the custodian locking us in the fine arts center so we could spend the night in the developing room), music appreciation, economics and French.

Get involved in one or more groups. That could be a Christian organization such as Fellowship of Christian athletes or it could be a non-Christian group like the school band/orchestra/choir or the College Democrats/College Republicans. If you are interested in theater try out for a play. If you like sports join an intramural sport or if you are really good try out for a college team.

Enjoy yourself! My college years were among the best years of my life. Hopefully yours will be as well!

 

[AnglicanPeace]

I wish I had known not to be seek approval of my peers and while I think we all are to some extent, to not seek social validation. I think atheism is very conformist in that it seems to be about society's approval. Now I'm working on not caring what people think, but what God thinks. Keep walking.

I would also say I wouldn't listen to professors who talk about "dream careers." I think there's honor in all jobs. I believe work is an act of worship because I believe God is a worker, being the Creator. I believe that's the purpose of work. So meaning doesn't have to be inherent to the career in some grandiose way, like saving the world, being some world renowned artist or poet. Traipse nimbly around the liberal arts. I'm a pragmatist, not a dreamer.

 

[Poppyseed78]

Don't give your time to people who don't respect you and tear you down. Save your energy for those who encourage and support you and help you grow as a person.

 

[EzekielsWheels]

I'm in college right now

A lot of helpful advice and really what I have to say is just echoing their counsel.
1) Put Jesus Christ first. If you do that all things will be added unto you. This means praying every day at least once but preferably twice. Ask Jesus to show you who he is and that you mature in Christ.
2) Yes be very selective about your friends. Notice I said "friends" and not acquaintances. Feel free to have a lot of acquaintances and be friendly to everyone (except false brothers and sisters, ignore them) but have very few people you would consider friends. A good friend is extremely hard to find. The litmus test is would they sacrifice something of themselves (time, money, etc.) to help you without any question or hesitation. You actually can notice this trait in the little things they do if you pay attention. Also notice how they treat other people when they're around you and how they talk about other people.
3) If you have a lot of debt be very careful about adding more to it in graduate school. These days you can put up maybe half a million in debt with college and graduate school and that's not counting interest. Be very wise here.
4) Don't try and keep up with the joneses. If someone buys something or has something you can't afford don't try and keep up with them. Stay in your lane.
5) Instead of trying to find the "perfect" person work on yourself and your own perfection/sanctification. No one is perfect and the more you develop and mature the easier your life will be with all people, but perhaps most importantly with any future spouse.
6) Take risks. If you're risk-averse like I am start with little ones. Don't be afraid to make mistakes.
7) You're young. It's hard to appreciate where you are when you are where you are but this is an opportune time to learn about yourself - your likes, loves and dislikes. Go to museums, parks, wherever. Explore yourself.
8) Develop a hobby if you don't have one. It build self esteem to acquire mastery of a skill, no matter what it is. It's something you can hold on to down the road when things get rocky.
9) Finally, life isn't easy but it is beautiful.

 

[Reconciliation and Truth]

"What do you wish you knew in your 20's?"

I would not want to tell my past anything. I am far from old, but I am beyond my twenties. I remember studying for ministry and being involved with other just out of college kids in different programs. A young woman, quite mature and intelligent, mentioned how life should be full of adventure. I liked that, because I knew it was true.

Adventure in English (per Google) can mean: "an unusual and exciting, typically hazardous, experience or activity." It is also to "engage in hazardous and exciting activity, especially the exploration of unknown territory."

We start life in comfort, like a baby animal we wander out, but only as far as our mother allows us, but soon we have our own adventure... our family and friends will still be there.

I would not want to spoil it.

Ad-venture comes from Latin... I would describe it to mean towards-arrival. That is life, a movement towards our final arrival.

Be willing to make mistakes, but don't hate yourself for them. Take advice from those you trust. Pray at the start of every day God will help you do your best and offer the grace to go beyond it.

 

[Chris V++]

Does anyone have any advice for people in their 20's, regarding college, growing in Christ, or any other areas of life?

Study something practical which gives you portable skills, or at the very least minor in something practical. You have the rest of your life to pursue interesting topics for curiosity sake. Academics like to tell you things like 'large corporations like to hire English majors because they have critical thinking skills. ' That's true to extent, if you want an entry level job to be trained as a low level functionary. Sad fact, but you're less likely to find CPAs, engineers, RNs or programmers answering phones at corporate call centers than your liberal arts majors. Also make sure you class pics satisfy the requirements toward graduation. Don't just enroll in classes because they sound interesting. That's an expensive mistake some make and the University won't mind a bit.

Also it's a great time to do something exotic, like a junior year abroad program. I paid my state tuition my junior year and did an exchange program in the UK. It didn't cost me anymore than the airfare, since they had a financial agreement worked out. You can make your opportunities like that in college if you do your research.

 

[Chris V++]

Also, this may not apply to your situation, but knocking out some of those electives at community college isn't everyone's romantic notion of the 'college experience' but it can save you a fortune if the credits transfer. Exorbitant college debt has ruined so many millennials already. Don't fall into that trap. Pay as you go if possible. The borrower is servant to the lender.

Debt causes so much anxiety in people's lives. Debt breaks up marriages and causes ulcers and depression. I'm determined to make sure my 14 year old stays out of debt.

 

[EzekielsWheels]

Yes to community college. Undervalued resource in my opinion.

 

[Kaon]

Does anyone have any advice for people in their 20's, regarding college, growing in Christ, or any other areas of life?

College: go if you know for sure that your degree will be of use (including STEM), otherwise, it could be a scam. Learn on your own, converse with others and challenge yourself through travel and work before you decide to amass your largest debt in life next to your mortgage.


Christ: the way you treat people is a mirror of how your relationship with the Redeemer will be. Entertain everything without necessarily accepting it. Scoff at nothing and research everything. Spend more time learning about the Word of God as you would verifying the reality of your existence.

 

[Christgirl67]

I have a question.Is it normal in your 20's,to want to branch away from your parents and make your own decisions?I say that because I live with my parents, but I am starting to want to leave and get my own place and make my own decisions.I cannot afford to live on campus at all,so I have no solution until I can afford to get a apartment.

 

[Kaon]

I have a question.Is it normal in your 20's,to want to branch away from your parents and make your own decisions?I say that because I live with my parents, but I am starting to want to leave and get my own place and make my own decisions.I cannot afford to live on campus at all,so I have no solution until I can afford to get a apartment.

I think it is cultural, because it is profitable for a State to have as many working bodies as possible . Christ was apprenticing and working with Joseph until He was called to move on. The royals keep the entire family under one general roof, while telling the subjects/people to leave the house and work at early ages.

It isn't necessarily wrong to want to venture out on our own, but the normality of it depends on the region and culture.

 

[Christgirl67]

I think it is cultural, because it is profitable for a State to have as many working bodies as possible . Christ was apprenticing and working with Joseph until He was called to move on. The royals keep the entire family under one general roof, while telling the subjects/people to leave the house and work at early ages.

It isn't necessarily wrong to want to venture out on our own, but the normality of it depends on the region and culture.

I agree with that.I have about 2 years until I will be finished with my degree,and I have just been having a feeling of wanting to venture out on my own.I also have had a full time job for the past two years,so I think that also has pushed me to want to leave.

 

[Chris V++]

I have a question.Is it normal in your 20's,to want to branch away from your parents and make your own decisions?I say that because I live with my parents, but I am starting to want to leave and get my own place and make my own decisions.I cannot afford to live on campus at all,so I have no solution until I can afford to get a apartment.

Definitely normal. There might be affordable off campus living. Back in the day college town landlords would buy old huge Victorian homes, convert each room into an apartment, so there would be like 9 or 10 small apartments per house, and the tenants would all have to share the kitchen and bathrooms. It was cheap living. Or you can find roommates to split rent. Life today is so expensive, and now there are all other sorts of new expenses, like cell phone bills with data plans, outrageous internet and cable bills. Learn to live cheap and like a minimalist. You can cut the cord and watch broadcast antenna TV if necessary. Learn to cook for yourself instead of take out. Use your library card. In college we used to shop the thrift stores. Just stay out of debt as much as possible.

 

[misput]

#1-If i were back in my 20's, I am 79 now, my top priority would be to love God and from what I can understand that means loving others as much as I love myself.
#2-Chose a mate who believes and exhibits #1.
#3 and following- See above:

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

In following Christ, remember that He comes first. Don't follow Him the way others think you should, but the way He tells you to, as you find in your own walk with Him. That means lots of prayer and Bible study to get to know His word. You do want to listen to how others understand it, yes. We all need guidance from other people. You don't want to be an insufferable know-it-all. But a hundred different people are going to have a hundred different opinions, so you're going to have to weigh them all, and in the end, do what you believe is right.

 

[Sketcher]

I have a question.Is it normal in your 20's,to want to branch away from your parents and make your own decisions?I say that because I live with my parents, but I am starting to want to leave and get my own place and make my own decisions.I cannot afford to live on campus at all,so I have no solution until I can afford to get a apartment.

Yes, it's normal.

Before you do, though, budget. Make enough money to save for the future on top of paying for the rent and the food and the insurance and the utilities and everything else before you move out. Don't try and skate by without that, or you'll never get around to saving. And saving in your 20's is what pays you back the most because of compound interest. So, get your budget together, and squeeze the rent in last, then look for offers which meet your rent budget. Starting out, you'll probably need 2 or 3 roommates to make it happen, splitting the total rent 3 or 4 ways. As you make more money, you'll be able to knock it down to 1, and eventually none.

Be aware though, that bad roommate situations can be as bad or worse than bad family situations, and that more roommates means it's harder to find a consensus.