What do you regard as 'modest dressing'?

[ZoeyT]

As a 'newly minted' Christian I was seeking some advice and discussion on the top of modest dress. I realise that the sorts of choice of clothing I made before were totally inappropriate, and not at all suitable for a young Christian woman. The importance of modest dress is readily apparent to me now. I could use the advice of other women here with regards to what should be considered appropriate, and what is not.

Do you follow modest dress? If so, what stipulations do you adhere to? Do you have favourite places to buy/order clothing? Do you require undershirts, in addition to proper underwear?

The nature of my sin and provocative dress will become clear, but I felt it important to list what actions I've taken so far.

• I threw out nearly all of my underwear. Literally all I kept was a few sports bras for excercising. I replaced it all with plain, unobtrusive, proper modest female undergarments in white.
  
• I got rid of any skirts/dresses that were tight, and or didn't at least reach the top of my knee.
  
• I threw out all my 'short shorts', and any jeans/trousers that were tight in nature.
  
• Tight shirts, t-shirts with vulgar slogans and the like all went in the bin.

I'm sure that you would agree that I have made a reasonable start. Still, I am unsure of certain things.

I'd welcome discussion/answers to any of the following.

What should be considered appropriate exercising attire for a young woman? I like to run and go to the gym. Currently I wear longer fitting loose athletic shorts and a looser fitting t-shirts with elbow length sleeves.

How long should I wear my skirts and dresses? Is knee length OK, or should I be looking lower?

Are trousers and shorts ever OK for a woman to wear? Perhaps just at home? (I do live alone)

My favourite new modest item of clothing has definitely been this dress, if it gives any indication of the direction I perhaps wish to transform the way I dress daily.

Merry-Go-Round Dress (Peach)

Thanks for any and all input.

 

[ZoeyT]

Topic, not 'top'. Apologies for the typo, but I cannot edit the post at this time.

 

[Earatha]

I consider my dress "modest" but that's more because I'm self-conscious and uncomfortable with showy clothes.

Modesty is less about what you wear and more about an attitude. It is about not looking to show off. This is why I'm wondering why you got rid of your underwear. I have stuff I think is pretty, not because I'm going to show it off, but because it's fun to see in my drawer. And because it's fun for me. My jeans (usually work jeans) are cut colored and fit to societal standards, but what people can't see is for me.

When you buy a piece of clothing ask yourself, are you looking to display your body? Or are you looking for clothes that fit and don't distract? An overly frumpy "modest" outfit could be just as distracting as something skimpy, and could lead people to not take you seriously. Clothing should just be serviceable, and not distract from you.

Except gym clothes, because who cares. I wear sweat pants and a loose t-shirt. If you don't want to wear short shorts in the gym your options are limited because clothing manufacturers are poop heads. If you aren't comfortable with leggings or tight yoga pants (I'm not) you can buy sweatpants which are frumpy. But who cares, you're going to sweat them up anyway.

 

[Poppyseed78]

I dress for comfort, practicality, and to not attract much attention. Compared to most women I see in public, I dress conservatively, but I'm sure compared to others I am less modest. I do wear jeans (though of a looser fit, not skin-tight), khaki pants, and ankle and capri-length pants. I wear shorts only at home and in the backyard.

I either wear dresses with sleeves or sleeveless dresses with a cardigan on top. My skirts and dresses are all knee-length or longer and of the more "flowy" variety. I don't wear low-cut tops. Some of my shirts are more form-fitting, but I personally don't consider them inappropriate. I don't wear shirts with words on them because that's just not my style. I used to wear high heels (3 inches or higher), but I don't anymore because it's not worth the foot pain. So I generally wear flats, sneakers, boots, and wedge sandals.

My hair is not dyed or colored, and I style it very simply, but that's less out of modesty and more out of wanting to save time and money. I rarely wear makeup, and when I do it's subtle. My jewelry is also not very flashy. As for underwear, I think you should wear whatever you find comfortable. I don't go to the gym, but if I did I think long shorts or workout pants would be fine. If the pants were tight, I'd wear a long t-shirt over.

What you wear does send a message to others, and people (unfortunately) do judge based on first impressions. However, I would caution you against being overly focused on rules and regulations in regards to your dress. More important than what you wear is what is in your heart. If you are strong and focused in your relationship with Christ, that's really all that matters.

 

[Left]

Well when I make a salad, I use about two spoonfuls. Modest dressing.

 

[Khalliqa]

Modesty varies according to the culture. Also, I place a higher value on character than I do clothing..

My own rule is balance..

1. assess the norms of the environment and unless you're making a statement and are prepared to deal with the fallout ensure your unique style doesn't [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] people off, make them insecure, or have them raping you with their eyes -it's a judgement call

2. Practice balance. If you will be revealing skin, ensure you overcompensate with coverage in other areas(e.g. Sleeveless shirt? Pair with full skirt... slit in skirt pair with conservative shirt)

 

[ZoeyT]

I think the most important aspect to address is that I do indeed generously dress my salads with olive oil. I've no modesty at all in that regard.

What you wear does send a message to others, and people (unfortunately) do judge based on first impressions. However, I would caution you against being overly focused on rules and regulations in regards to your dress. More important than what you wear is what is in your heart. If you are strong and focused in your relationship with Christ, that's really all that matters.

I really appreciate you reminding me of this. I used to dress to bring attention to myself. At one stage I had bright green hair; and I possessed shorts and skirts that hardly covered any of the thigh.

Now I've been thinking less about the 'rules and regulations', and more about what I feel comfortable wearing. What I feel comfortable and is personally appropriate for a young woman. What will help me show the due respect, love and honour God is unquestionably deserves.

I found Timothy 2:9-10 to be particularly relevant in helping me arrive at a decision.

I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, 10 but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

To that end, I will wear makeup and jewellery sparingly and only when the situation calls for it. I will wear my hair in simple, unpretentious, styles. I will wear appropriate plain undergarments, and will not subject myself to the whims of peer pressure in making inappropriate choices.

I will also only wear skirts and dresses outside of the house (other than travelling directly to and from the gym). I will ensure my shoulders are covered (sleeves!) and that my hemlines are well below the knee. Most importantly, I will conduct myself in a way that I feel honours God.

Thank you for the help everyone. It looks like I'm going to have plenty to donate to charity!

 

[JackRT]

Modesty varies according to the culture

I believe that is a key understanding. It also varies with time as culture changes. There was a time when it was shocking for Christian women to show any more skin than their hands and face and certainly not their hair. Some even veiled themselves. The traditional nun's habit reflects this.

There was a time in our history when virtually all women dressed in a similar fashion.

 

[Shard]

• I threw out nearly all of my underwear. Literally all I kept was a few sports bras for excercising. I replaced it all with plain, unobtrusive, proper modest female undergarments in white.

Im sure your future husband will be absolutely thrilled on your wedding night. I honestly just find this laughable because unless you were running around showing off your underwear in the first place Im not even sure this should have been an issue. I honestly wonder what kind of churches some of you people go to where such backwards and old fashioned ideals are the norm?

 

[Khalliqa]

Well when I make a salad, I use about two spoonfuls. Modest dressing.

LOLOLOL

 

[Paidiske]

Do you follow modest dress? If so, what stipulations do you adhere to? Do you have favourite places to buy/order clothing? Do you require undershirts, in addition to proper underwear?

What should be considered appropriate exercising attire for a young woman? I like to run and go to the gym. Currently I wear longer fitting loose athletic shorts and a looser fitting t-shirts with elbow length sleeves.

How long should I wear my skirts and dresses? Is knee length OK, or should I be looking lower?

Are trousers and shorts ever OK for a woman to wear? Perhaps just at home?

Context is everything. Your own local culture will give you plenty of cues as to how people will "read" your dress choices. In my context the peach dress you linked to would be highly unusual and likely be "misread" if I wore it, but if it works where you live, and you like it, then great!

For myself, as a rule of thumb, when I'm working I make sure that no cleavage is on display and my knees are covered. (When I'm not working - just doing the school run or whatever - I'm comfortable in shorts which sit just above the knee. Summer is hot here)! Very occasionally, with a particularly deep-cut top, I might wear a singlet underneath but to be honest I just wouldn't buy such tops very much.

I find clothes shopping difficult in general because my body is an odd shape, so I do a lot of clothes shopping online. Here are a few examples of things I've bought in the not-terribly-distant past:

S002--Warm heart 3 (Cotton Jacket) (that shop has lots of other lovely modest tops, too)
Asian Traditional Art, Cranes and Plum Blossom, Art Print Wrap Cotton Skirt (SW039) (that falls to just above my ankle, but it is a wrap skirt so it often shows a bit of calf as I move)
Trinity Embroidered Lace-up Blouse (in jade green)

For exercise I tend to choose looser-fitting things rather than the skintight yoga pants and whatnot, but again, context is everything. After all, I swim in fairly ordinary not-skimpy bathers.

I don't see any problem with women wearing trousers or shorts. Choose ones which are appropriate to the occasion. Some flowing palazzo pants might be a comfortable choice if you're still working out what your new style is.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Paul in Ephesians 3 speaks of cultivating the inner person before God in true holiness.

This is not achieved by the arbitrary imposition of supposed rules.

In business - depending on what the environment is - there are some general expectations.

 

[jayem]

I've posted this before. It's like Oscar Wilde said about novels. There's no such thing as an immoral book. Books are either well written, or badly written. The same applies to clothes. There's no such thing as immodest dress. One either dresses in good taste or bad taste. And I completely agree that inappropriately revealing clothing shows very bad taste.

 

[grasping the after wind]

I Would say that Ranch is amodest dressing and anything with balsamic vinegar is a bit more edgy.

 

[Paradoxum]

Nothing is definitely modest. Either you wear a curtain, or nothing... everything in between in opinion.

I'd say do what you wish. It's context dependent, but looking like how you look isn't inherently bad.

 

[Cimorene]

As a 'newly minted' Christian I was seeking some advice and discussion on the top of modest dress. I realise that the sorts of choice of clothing I made before were totally inappropriate, and not at all suitable for a young Christian woman. The importance of modest dress is readily apparent to me now. I could use the advice of other women here with regards to what should be considered appropriate, and what is not.

Do you follow modest dress? If so, what stipulations do you adhere to? Do you have favourite places to buy/order clothing? Do you require undershirts, in addition to proper underwear?

The nature of my sin and provocative dress will become clear, but I felt it important to list what actions I've taken so far.

• I threw out nearly all of my underwear. Literally all I kept was a few sports bras for excercising. I replaced it all with plain, unobtrusive, proper modest female undergarments in white.
  
• I got rid of any skirts/dresses that were tight, and or didn't at least reach the top of my knee.
  
• I threw out all my 'short shorts', and any jeans/trousers that were tight in nature.
  
• Tight shirts, t-shirts with vulgar slogans and the like all went in the bin.

I'm sure that you would agree that I have made a reasonable start. Still, I am unsure of certain things.

I'd welcome discussion/answers to any of the following.

What should be considered appropriate exercising attire for a young woman? I like to run and go to the gym. Currently I wear longer fitting loose athletic shorts and a looser fitting t-shirts with elbow length sleeves.

How long should I wear my skirts and dresses? Is knee length OK, or should I be looking lower?

Are trousers and shorts ever OK for a woman to wear? Perhaps just at home? (I do live alone)

My favourite new modest item of clothing has definitely been this dress, if it gives any indication of the direction I perhaps wish to transform the way I dress daily.

Merry-Go-Round Dress (Peach)

Thanks for any and all input.

I'm confused about why you'd throw away your underwear when it's under your clothes. Bras are expensive, at least the ones I wear are, I wouldn't just throw them away if there was nothing wrong with them & they are not even seen by people unless you show it to them.

There's nothing wrong with wearing work out clothes when you're working out. No need to wear shirts with sleeves that long, you're gonna overheat!

You can still wear cute clothes & be modest. I wouldn't wear that dress, bc it looks more like a costume to me. I don't think it's immodest or anything, but it would definitely grab attention if you wore it wear I live. Most of the dresses on that site would! They look like dresses for special events or cosplay. I think if you just wore them to school, work, or out with friends or whatever it wouldn't really be appropriate bc it's overdone.
Night in Paris in Cranberry I like that dress, but only for a Christmas party or a wedding or something. You don't need to dress like that to be modest, I promise. They're also kind of expensive!

 

[Rebecca12]

I feel that the peach dress, shown below and linked in the first post, is a bit conspicuous. Almost like an advertisement for how modest you are. Which arguably is a bit immodest.

 

[Shard]

I mean unless you're auditioning for the next season of SisterWives I think you're taking this too far.

 

[ananda]

IMO modesty is a trait of the heart, not of the physical. Whatever motivation comes from the heart is expressed externally. The external expression of modesty thus changes according to situation.