What do you call a fake noodle/

[Grumpmeister Supreme!]

I got this off twitter so I can't claim that I authored it but here goes.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

 

[John Hyperspace]

What can think the unthinkable?

A big itheberg.

 

[JackRT]

You are saying that on porpoise just for the halibut.

 

[brinny]

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye matey.

 

[brinny]

What was a more important invention than the first telephone?

The second one.

 

[JackRT]

What was a more important invention that the first telephone?

The second one.

Alexander Graham Bell walked into the Patent Office one morning. That same afternoon another man walked into the same office with the intent to patent his new invention --- a device that would enable people to speak electronically over wires. Timing is everything.

 

[brinny]

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger...

Then it hit me.

 

[Moral Orel]

I tried to walk into Target the other day but I missed.

 

[brinny]

Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt?

Because he doesn't want to be spotted.

 

[brinny]

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?

Attire.

 

[brinny]

What do you do when you see a spaceman?

Park in it, man!

 

[brinny]

What did the Lion King tell Simba when he was walking too slow?

Mufasa!

 

[brinny]

Where does Frosty keep his cash?

In the snow banks.

 

[brinny]

What kind of shoes do lazy people wear?

Loafers.

 

[brinny]

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin pi

 

[brinny]

Where does George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

 

[JackRT]

Frank and Joe went fishing on the bay one morning. They had been fishing companionably in silence for several hours when Frank said “Joe, I think I am going to have to divorce my Marsha. She has not spoken to me in over two months.” They fished in silence for another three hours when Joe said “Frank, I'd think twice about divorcing her. Women like that are very hard to find.”

 

[brinny]

What is it called when Batman leaves church early?

Christian Bale.

 

[KWCrazy]

I got this off twitter so I can't claim that I authored it but here goes.

What do you call a fake noodle?

Or phony macaroni.

 

[brinny]

What do you call a computer that sings?

Adell.