what are you feeling right now? (24)

[SANTOSO]

Dear brother what would you conclude when God gives you a hearing and you beg Him to heal you and He answers you like The truths of this word?
Isaiah 43:7
"everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.”

i knew He was right, for He spoke through my very inner being showing me the very things gone wrong with me because i was living down here in sin, yet such was not wrong at all in His kingdom and very handy to have even.

This brought me much hope!

For i have freaked the wicked since my earliest memories but now this ability showed me Heavenly glory. Glory i will never ever forget.

This is why i being afflicted by the wicked all the time does not upset me that much any more, for, like i pointed out before, with Jesus bad life turns to good life. Sure times of depression can be hard, especially when satan is attacking full on, like he has been since the day i was born.

Since that meeting with our Heavenly Father i have steadily grown fighting the enemy. They hate me with a passion and try to sour my life especially when i'm in my down or anxious moods, but more and more i survive by simply cursing them out of my life.

So why be upset with our Father about that? Before my illness was my greatest curse, now it is becoming my biggest blessings, for it forces me to keep my eyes on Jesus, for when i'm weak He is strong.

Think about when i'm down in my pit in the darkness and i'm praising Jesus! Or i'm praying for other people down that low, or lower. Or praying for The New. Such passion to have sickness go away my dear brother healthy people don't know.

This is how Jesus baptised me into His Kingdom, through suffering, more and more my heart runs over with thankfulness that this has been so. For where i suffered desolation before, now is lush growth and lots of fruit trees. An New Eden!

As a matter of fact the dead sea in my life is not salty any more. The river of life running from Zion made sure of that. Everything is coming true what Jesus promised me would come true, so what could hinderer Jesus? Could anything separate me from God's love in Christ Jesus?

As far as i'm concerned God was completely right when He said He formed and made me for His glory.

Every day i praise Him for His goodness and love in my life.

Be blessed brother.

All Praise To Our God

Beloved Jesus it is You we all adore.
You are the One who loves us more.
You are The One who always cares.
You are the One who everything shares.
You are The One deserving all Praise.
You are The One who bought us Grace.

Spirit of God You gave us Jesus to know.
Praises to Him from our sinful lips to flow.
The Living Word in You becomes our life.
Your loving truth ends all our inner strife.
Sanctifying our ailing spirits on The Way.
Bringing us God The Father when we pray.

Heavenly Father Above All You we adore.
With tear streaked faces flat on the floor.
marvelling at Your undying graceful Voice.
Hallelujah in Your unfailing Love we rejoice.
Egocentric and sinful world we leave behind.
Knowing Eternal Goodness in You we will find.

Thanks be to God who has strengthen in your suffering for His name. To God be glory through Christ Jesus. Amen

 

[Vieste]

Each day I read from Sarah Young's 'Jesus Calling' - I have read and re-read many pages in the last few weeks through a difficult time. One day's message from Jesus stood out:

"Grow strong in your weakness. Some of my children I've gifted with abundant strength and stamina. Others, like you, have received the humble gift of frailty. Your fragility is not a punishment ... on the contrary, weak ones like you must live by faith, depending on Me to get you through the day. I am developing your ability to trust Me, to lean on me rather than on your own understanding. My preference is for you to depend on Me continually, trusting Me to guide you and strengthen you as needed. This is how you grow strong in your weakness."

“But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.” ~ Isaiah 40:31

 

[SANTOSO]

"Grow strong in your weakness. Some of my children I've gifted with abundant strength and stamina. Others, like you, have received the humble gift of frailty

Beloved one, I knew that you are fond of Sarah Young’s writings. But I quoted above, I don’t like to disagree with you and her but I have to disagree.For God shows no partiality. Beloved one, there is no evidence that God gave gift this manner. But this is what we have heard:

You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, -2 Timothy 2:1

So every child of God, God strengthen through His grace.

Likewise, beloved one, we never told to grow strong in our weaknesses. For we heard:

“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
‭‭II Corinthians‬ ‭12:9-10‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Beloved one, if one grow strong in weakness, tell me how God’s strength made perfect in weakness ! Why apostle Paul have to say ,”Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake.”

So Sarah Young misperceived what apostle Paul have taught.

Rather beloved one, we take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake — we accept our weakness for Christ’s sake, so that God’s strength made perfect in our weaknesses. In other words, we rely not on our own strength in our weaknesses but on God’s strength. So in our weaknesses — our sufferings, we are made perfect through Christ. For we heard:

“For it was fitting for Him, for whom are all things and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons to glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭2:10‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

So beloved one, we are enabled to take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake because God’s grace or steadfast love strengthened us. So we take pleasure of His grace.

How we take pleasure spiritually ? This is what we have heard:

“O God, You are my God;
Early will I seek You;
My soul thirsts for You;
My flesh longs for You In a dry and thirsty land Where there is no water.
So I have looked for You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory. Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips. When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches. Because You have been my help, Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭63:1-7‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Beloved one, God shows no partiality.
For we also heard :
““God is not a man, that He should lie,
Nor a son of man, that He should repent.
Has He said, and will He not do?
Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?”
‭‭Numbers‬ ‭23:19‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Beloved, God’s grace endure forever more.

To God be thanksgiving through Christ. Amen.

 

[DragonFox91]

I feel awful right now. When will it change? Not one day has it been different.

 

[Jeshu]

I feel awful right now. When will it change? Not one day has it been different.

Oh dear brother have you been loving God, yourself and your neighbours, or have you given in to the negativity of your depression?

i know i often felt like you do now, but that was usually because i had been overcome by the lies i believed about God, myself and my neighbour suffering so deep. Yet i found that in God's loving truth suffering depression is a lot easier to survive, than falling for the lies hurting me all the time.

It is very hard to trust God's love when we feel bad and accused all the time, nevertheless keep trying, even if you make only short times, in the end such times will measure up to more time in His loving truth. Even when depression fires badly at us.

i found that when we are in God's loving truth then suffering begins to teach us marvellous things about God's truth. Do you find that?

Here i found putting my faith in prophecies like this really helped getting through the hard times. Simply believe God is speaking to you and accept His promises as truth in your life. That is how you eat The Word. Works like a charm.
Isaiah 55
“Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labour on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a ruler and commander of the peoples.
Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations you do not know will come running to you,
because of the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendour.”


Seek the Lord while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
Let the wicked forsake their ways
and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.


“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
Instead of the thorn bush will grow the juniper,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord’s renown,
for an everlasting sign,
that will endure forever.”

 

[DragonFox91]

Oh dear brother have you been loving God, yourself and your neighbours, or have you given in to the negativity of your depression?

i know i often felt like you do now, but that was usually because i had been overcome by the lies i believed about God, myself and my neighbour suffering so deep. Yet i found that in God's loving truth suffering depression is a lot easier to survive, than falling for the lies hurting me all the time.

It is very hard to trust God's love when we feel bad and accused all the time, nevertheless keep trying, even if you make only short times, in the end such times will measure up to more time in His loving truth. Even when depression fires badly at us.

i found that when we are in God's loving truth then suffering begins to teach us marvellous things about God's truth. Do you find that?

Here i found putting my faith in prophecies like this really helped getting through the hard times. Simply believe God is speaking to you and accept His promises as truth in your life. That is how you eat The Word. Works like a charm.
Isaiah 55
“Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labour on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a ruler and commander of the peoples.
Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations you do not know will come running to you,
because of the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendour.”


Seek the Lord while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
Let the wicked forsake their ways
and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.


“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
Instead of the thorn bush will grow the juniper,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord’s renown,
for an everlasting sign,
that will endure forever.”

Do you see my posts in the other sections?

 

[Jeshu]

Do you see my posts in the other sections?

i haven't for awhile brother. What is happening? Have things changed? Or are you still depressed because of the same things you were depressed about before?

Depression is so hard to survive when we have no faith in Jesus' love, i found to be true. It is so loveless down there, and so lonely. You find that?

 

[Jeshu]

i have not been depressed for at least a whole week. i love how happy in the Lord my heart is becoming. He is on His Way. i just know it.

Ever day i see the light in the East coming closer. How how i love Him. i know He is coming to save us. i'm crying from joy.

 

[Jeshu]

i've been psychotic again. i didn't realise i gone off again. i hope i didn't upset anyone?

Feeling rather crappy

Peace.

 

[look4hope]

Jeshu....hugs hugs hugs.


I’m not feeling depressed this month (so far) gonna be an auntie today!!! Yay!
But I have been regretting things that come out of my mouth recently. It’s random I know. I just have a problem with blabbering things that might offend people...maybe. Or I’m just overthinking it. I don’t know. It bothers me so much so here I am.

 

[Jeshu]

Jeshu....hugs hugs hugs.

Thanks and congratulation becoming an Auntie. Good to hear you are not depressed right now, i hope for you it stays that way.

i had a heavy day yesterday, today is a little better so far. Having a very hard time sleeping more than a few hours at the time.


Blessings

 

[DragonFox91]

Very bought afternoon. Bad evening. Shed a tear.

A bit better now.

Why don't things change?

 

[look4hope]

Very bought afternoon. Bad evening. Shed a tear.

A bit better now.

Why don't things change?

Hi. I’ve been told I’m a good listener. Just incase. Some times talking about it helps lessen what ever crazy feelings we feel. Believe me...Been there so many times.

 

[Jeshu]

Very bought afternoon. Bad evening. Shed a tear.

A bit better now.

Why don't things change?

You know what i found to be true about that brother? i found that i had to die to my bad life, stop having life therein, in favour of having life in God's loving truth. It did take me a few years to love myself into God's truth but it sure paid off. For i have a depressive illness and medications don't work, so i had to find something to make me stronger than my depression.

i had to deny all the lies of my depression, one by one i did that, and learn to be in God's truth instead. Amazing what a difference life in God's loving truth is over against have to dwell in the lies oppressing me.

So change your life by dying to how it is now. Begin bottom up, where and when you feel the most miserable, begin to find truth to answer back the lies of your depression, and see what believing the truth does over against believing the lies hurting.

It is not a fix quickly answer but it is a sure outcome. God's loving truth is far better to us than those horrible depressive lies hurting us all the time.

Hoping you feel a little better soon.

Song of Battle.

The arrows streak their flame.
I'm under attack again!
Opening the treasures of my defence,
His loving Word my only chance,
Of surviving the fiery weather.

"Do, don't, eat, abstain, go or stay."
Is what my inner attackers say.
Scornfully throwing their hate around.
My sins sizzling at their sound.
Surrounding me with my own misery.

Now one grabs me by the throat.
My life his scornful gloat.
"How can you trust in God's grace,
When I rub this dirt in your face?"
He demands in accuser's tone.

In humble voice I bow my head.
Lord can You hear what they said?
Yet who can charge Your elect?
Jesus sacrifice makes us perfect.
Please give me faith to stand.

His sword streaks its flame.
Attacking my enemies once again.
His loving Word fells them all.
In the fire of His love they fall,
A wonderful happy ending.

For Jesus is victorious over my sin.
Eternal life He for me did win.
Praises to Him from my heart swells.
As His Spirit of Truth in me dwells.
All glory to Him!

 

[Jeshu]

Struggling to sleep again now that my mind is still so busy from my psychosis. i hope this will soon settle down a bit and i can get a full nights sleep again.

My mood is lowish but not rock bottom.

 

[DragonFox91]

You know what i found to be true about that brother? i found that i had to die to my bad life, stop having life therein, in favour of having life in God's loving truth. It did take me a few years to love myself into God's truth but it sure paid off. For i have a depressive illness and medications don't work, so i had to find something to make me stronger than my depression.

i had to deny all the lies of my depression, one by one i did that, and learn to be in God's truth instead. Amazing what a difference life in God's loving truth is over against have to dwell in the lies oppressing me.

So change your life by dying to how it is now. Begin bottom up, where and when you feel the most miserable, begin to find truth to answer back the lies of your depression, and see what believing the truth does over against believing the lies hurting.

It is not a fix quickly answer but it is a sure outcome. God's loving truth is far better to us than those horrible depressive lies hurting us all the time.

Hoping you feel a little better soon.

Song of Battle.

The arrows streak their flame.
I'm under attack again!
Opening the treasures of my defence,
His loving Word my only chance,
Of surviving the fiery weather.

"Do, don't, eat, abstain, go or stay."
Is what my inner attackers say.
Scornfully throwing their hate around.
My sins sizzling at their sound.
Surrounding me with my own misery.

Now one grabs me by the throat.
My life his scornful gloat.
"How can you trust in God's grace,
When I rub this dirt in your face?"
He demands in accuser's tone.

In humble voice I bow my head.
Lord can You hear what they said?
Yet who can charge Your elect?
Jesus sacrifice makes us perfect.
Please give me faith to stand.

His sword streaks its flame.
Attacking my enemies once again.
His loving Word fells them all.
In the fire of His love they fall,
A wonderful happy ending.

For Jesus is victorious over my sin.
Eternal life He for me did win.
Praises to Him from my heart swells.
As His Spirit of Truth in me dwells.
All glory to Him!

I don't know what God's truth about this is.

 

[Jeshu]

I don't know what God's truth about this is.

God's truth is what really is, actuality, not what isn't, it is for you to step into His truth brother.

John 14:6a
"Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life."

i know that fighting depression needs to undo the lies that keep us down, otherwise we remain in the pit.

Please consider if you want the truth to be different than He is, and that how you want the truth to be, can never be, how are you going to deal with your wish for the truth to be different? How are you ever going to find your good life back mourning the truth of your reality?

So the first thing i think you have to do, is accept the truth that the truth is making you miserable as the truth currently is, and that is not how we ought to go to work with the truth.

Accepting the truth is essential to be able to move away from your depression telling you painful lies about your life, hurting you so badly all the time.

Jesus is The Truth and The Life, and i know from experience that someone who is in God's truth can survive depression and even get good life out of it.

So this is what i advise you to do. Bring all your bad life to Jesus, and ask Him to show you how you gathered all of that over your life time, then ask for His loving truth back in return, and as you let the reasons of your bad life die out of you, Christ's good life will begin to dress you instead.

Be of good courage.

Ephesians 5:8-20
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said:


“Wake up, sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”


Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

 

[DragonFox91]

God's truth is what really is, actuality, not what isn't, it is for you to step into His truth brother.

John 14:6a
"Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life."

i know that fighting depression needs to undo the lies that keep us down, otherwise we remain in the pit.

Please consider if you want the truth to be different than He is, and that how you want the truth to be, can never be, how are you going to deal with your wish for the truth to be different? How are you ever going to find your good life back mourning the truth of your reality?

So the first thing i think you have to do, is accept the truth that the truth is making you miserable as the truth currently is, and that is not how we ought to go to work with the truth.

Accepting the truth is essential to be able to move away from your depression telling you painful lies about your life, hurting you so badly all the time.

Jesus is The Truth and The Life, and i know from experience that someone who is in God's truth can survive depression and even get good life out of it.

So this is what i advise you to do. Bring all your bad life to Jesus, and ask Him to show you how you gathered all of that over your life time, then ask for His loving truth back in return, and as you let the reasons of your bad life die out of you, Christ's good life will begin to dress you instead.

Be of good courage.

Ephesians 5:8-20
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said:


“Wake up, sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”


Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

It's not that kind of depression. It's because of my situation. Not the 'youre depressed but you don't know why' kind. It's not lies. I can look & see my situation & it doesn't go away

 

[Jeshu]

I can look & see my situation & it doesn't go away

Then why not let Jesus take you away from it then? Why not find new horizons in His loving truth? Why stay when depression imprisons you?

Why do you think eating misery cannot be escaped from? Doesn't Jesus says the truth shall set you free? Why does that not apply to you brother?

You got me a bit confused to be honest. Maybe explain in more detail how you feel or link me to a post where you explain this. Maybe i will be able to understand you better and provide better support that way.

Peace.

(For example, why would this Word of our Lord Jesus not be true for you brother?)
Matthew 11:28-30
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

 

[Jeshu]

Feeling drained as i haven't been sleeping much at all. Yet my mood is still good, even though i'm back on anti psychotics, so that is welcome news.

i have been praying for the hurting of this world a lot. Countless people are suffering deeply. So few pointing them to Jesus. i so wish our Lord would not tarry much longer. We need Him down here in our hearts, how else are we going to beat the wicked?

Please come Lord Jesus, come quickly.