what are you feeling right now? (24)

[Press On]

anxious.

i had labs done today. i get the results soon.

Lab work can reveal a lot. I’m glad you had that done. All the best.

 

[Jeshu]

Feeling impatient that sleep hasn't come back yet. i've been up since just past 12 midnight and it is 2.30 am now and i wouldn't mind a few more hours sleep but feeling as bright as a button. Might take another 5-HTP and some more niacin

 

[gerbilwoman]

I had to eat meat tonight because I got under a certain weight. It tasted like guilt and too many calories. Also disgusting. And how do I know the animals were treated ethically? So many things wrong with this, but I have to get above a certain weight before Tuesday so my doctor doesn't yell at me.

Why is my weight such an issue? I wasn't raised like this.

As far as how the animals are raised, there are some certification programs that ensure animal welfare standards. I like Animal Welfare Approved (product finder here: https://animalwelfareapproved.us/advanced-product-search/) and the Whole Foods Global Animal Partnership, but there are others too.

 

[Jeshu]

Yeah it looks like the ducklings are hanging around, some even slept on our jetty this morning. Yet they swam away when we tried to feed them. Understandable that they are very shy of us yet. Apart of the male for he stayed all the time and left the female to raise his offspring all by herself. He was very happy to see her back with her children though. He had been trying, with mixed success, to start an affair with a wild duck, but the wild duck hasn't been around since his female (for they are same breed,) is back.

The good thing with the ducks is that we have plenty of food around, as we have a dam around most of our house and so we only have to feed them part of their diet, the rest they can easily fetch for themselves.

So though they were domesticated ducks when we bought the male and female last year, they are free to go and do as they like around our place. Our dam is connected to a stream, and that stream goes to a beautiful wildlife estuary down the road. So they hang around because they like it that we feed them some grain, not because they have to. So cute to see two in captivity born ducks transform to 14 free birds in just one season talk about a fruitful Creation!(lol)

 

[LoyalToGod]

All i'm trying to say is that seeking Jesus in your heart is the best way to get away from your hurting life. If that doesn't make sense to you then maybe read the Word of God and see if those ancient words can encourage you to seek after life not death for i don't know how to explain spiritual life better than i have been trying to do.

Sorry you don't get my drift but please consider dropping of your hurting heart before Jesus' throne and leave your painful realities there and see where a new life with Him will lead you.

I'm sick of this "life" this, life that. Speak clearly!

 

[chaoticfirefly]

My doctor put me on Lunesta after reducing the dose of Ambien down from 10 to 5, and switched me when I complained because local law doesn't allow women to have over 5 mg.

And now, the pharmacy is waiting on an authorization fax or something from him. It's been three days and I've been doubling up on Ambien and I gotta pick up my refill tomorrow before work.

The med world is crazy. And I'm frustrated.

 

[Press On]

My doctor put me on Lunesta after reducing the dose of Ambien down from 10 to 5, and switched me when I complained because local law doesn't allow women to have over 5 mg.

And now, the pharmacy is waiting on an authorization fax or something from him. It's been three days and I've been doubling up on Ambien and I gotta pick up my refill tomorrow before work.

The med world is crazy. And I'm frustrated.

I have been using the generic version of Lunesta (Eszopiclone) for quite some time now (less expensive) and do well with it.

I am hoping to eventually wean off of it under doctor’s supervision like the antidepressants but for now it does its job well.

 

[chaoticfirefly]

Medicaid won't cover it so I have to contact my doctor on Monday. I'm mad about that.

Also my door moves by itself and my bed shakes. No windows are open and no pets on the bed. Dunno if I'm hallucinating, but something is up. It stopped when I got my cat.

Edit: It's the ambien.

 

[Press On]

Medicaid won't cover it so I have to contact my doctor on Monday. I'm mad about that.

Also my door moves by itself and my bed shakes. No windows are open and no pets on the bed. Dunno if I'm hallucinating, but something is up. It stopped when I got my cat.

Edit: It's the ambien.

Sorry it’s not covered. I’m not sure if you’re talking about the Ambien or Lunesta.

If you are referring to Lunesta and have to cover it yourself, I suggest calling the pharmacy and comparing Lunesta prices with Eszopiclone; same stuff and much cheaper. I get by nicely on 2 mg in the evening. See if your doctor is ok with the substitution.

Hard to say what’s happening with stuff moving. I’ve had genuine paranormal experiences when I was into New Age before becoming a Christian. Almost 5 decades ago when it was not necessarily cool or acceptable...it was considered hippyish and weird...lol.

Also have had serious hallucinations with a medication one time so I know what that’s like, too. Glad they have appeared to stop in your case.

 

[chaoticfirefly]

Sorry it’s not covered. I’m not sure if you’re talking about the Ambien or Lunesta.

If you are referring to Lunesta and have to cover it yourself, I suggest calling the pharmacy and comparing Lunesta prices with Eszopiclone; same stuff and much cheaper. I get by nicely on 2 mg in the evening. See if your doctor is ok with the substitution.

Hard to say what’s happening with stuff moving. I’ve had genuine paranormal experiences when I was into New Age before becoming a Christian. Almost 5 decades ago when it was not necessarily cool or acceptable...it was considered hippyish and weird...lol.

Also have had serious hallucinations with a medication one time so I know what that’s like, too. Glad they have appeared to stop in your case.

The lunesta. I gotta call my doctor on Monday.

I've always had paranormal experiences, no matter what faith I was. The earliest I remember was when I was walking home from school when I was 7-ish and I was pushed out of the way of a car going 40 in a school zone (15-25?) and nobody was around me. Another experience I had was seeing a face in my old home, just floating there (witchy like, long scraggly gray hair, dark eyes, long sharp nose). I've also heard many voices call my name. And once, when the pastors wife was trying to take my picture because the church had a pot luck, she said there's a shadow hanging over me. She tried again in direct light, and there was a tall shadowy figure behind me. She deleted the photo. And there are times where I'm looking for my stuff, and they end up appearing on the counter or on my bed.

Let's hope so!

 

[chaoticfirefly]

There should be a hug reaction tbh

My radio turns off by itself every time one song plays on my iPod. I tested it out with any other song, and nothing, but just the one, it shuts off. If there is a ghost, I guess it doesn't like country music.

I'm good, honestly. I got a pixie cut the other day and I keep getting compliments.

 

[Press On]

I’ve read many accounts of people being saved at the last second from danger. I personally believe it is angelic intervention. I’ve nearly been killed or seriously injured a few times in my life, but it was due to split second timing rather than an actual physical interference of some kind.

Sometimes the lines between the physical and spiritual worlds blur and interact. The Bible is full of these accounts.

Some people are naturally sensitive and attract these kinds of goings-on and are aware when they occur. I have no idea of the celestial mechanics involved but from your accounts in various posts I believe you are one of these people.

When I experienced weird stuff way back when, I was never freaked out or afraid, but rather amused or fascinated. I’d just shrug my shoulders and go about my business and not even mention it except maybe to one or two friends I knew would understand. There were witnesses in a couple of cases.

 

[Jeshu]

Feeling thankful. We had a great weekend away and the kids and grandkids were great and we had awesome weather.

we had a ball!

seven of our eleven grandkids

Yvonne and me

 

[Press On]

View attachment 213581 Feeling thankful. We had a great weekend away and the kids and grandkids were great and we had awesome weather.

we had a ball!

View attachment 213580
seven of our eleven grandkids

View attachment 213584
Yvonne and me

Great pics, Gerry! Glad you had a good time!

 

[Jeshu]

Great pics, Gerry! Glad you had a good time!

So blessed that this was so. Sometimes i feel so guilty having a happy family and still suffering depression while so many don't have what i have been given and then feel depressed because of that.

Things were still so easy for us in our days, you find that Ron? This generation faces far more financial difficulties than we did i reckon. In my days there was much more work than now, more chance to make a reasonable wage, a more reasonable minimum wage in comparison with renting costs, and house and land prices were still affordable to a large middle class.

What nearly killed us two in the beginning were the interest rates, they were enormously high - all through the 80s, and had us eating pan cakes for a few years and even ask for hand outs, when it hit the 18 percent plus stages. (i was very ill at the time which didn't help.)

Otherwise hard work earned a good dollar, or at least that has been my experience here in Australia. Not so easy anymore now. Though the privileged still often get away with owning a home or two, the slums are growing ever bigger and poorer, while the middle class has shrunk considerably. (Everyone has been tied down by government handouts - such an easy way to force conformity. They are already doing that here, for those who refuse to vaccinate their kids loose out big time on in their social handout income.)

Today i'm back down on you know what and not feeling so brave any more, struggling with my feeling world looking back at 3 days of bliss and reprieve.

Still we got that good time under our belt! So thankful my family loves me. Their present to us is a weekend away with the two of us, but we decided that we are going to try and get 6 of the oldest grand kids to come along with us, we get on so well, and we know they would love it as much as us. Will be interesting to see what our kids reckon about that?

Have a great day

 

[LoyalToGod]

I'm sorry for earlier, everyone. I'm reaching my limit, and I might just do society a favor and off myself. I'm not even looking forward to the December 9th event anymore...

 

[Poppyseed78]

Really bad. So bad. Having a very hard time now with anxiety, nightmares, depression, lack of sleep, and ptsd.

 

[chaoticfirefly]

the hallucinations have escalated to voices. i just heard a garbled, mechanic voice (male sounding) speak, and heard a vibration.

so i'm a little freaked out.

edit: ambien is causing all of this but nothing else helps and the nurse never responded to my call. why are side effects showing up now, after four-five years of me taking it?

 

[Press On]

the hallucinations have escalated to voices. i just heard a garbled, mechanic voice (male sounding) speak, and heard a vibration.

so i'm a little freaked out.

edit: ambien is causing all of this but nothing else helps and the nurse never responded to my call. why are side effects showing up now, after four-five years of me taking it?

Sometimes there are chemical changes in the brain/body over time that require adjustments.

The year 2000 was like that for me. Meds that worked just fine for me for 12 years suddenly quit working. Doctors spent almost the whole year experimenting with different combinations of antidepressants until something worked. That sure was the year from hell.

As for no response from the medical personnel, keep on them until you get a satisfactory result.

Be strong and persevere. Try not to let it get to you. It’s tough, I know. It will work itself out.

 

[Jeshu]

Are you sure it is the meds and not suppressed fears from your P.T.S.D triggering for some other reason(s), which could indeed be your meds, to make it more difficult to work out, but also just be bubbling up spontaneously because you have tried so hard to keep them under raps?

So if bad fears, as you are having, persists maybe you need counseling, so you can deal with the anger underneath the fears and the hurt underneath the anger. P.T.S.D makes mental illness much harder to deal with, much more confusing.

I found a good councilor to discuss my fears, anger and hurt with. He has helped me away from the paralyzing fears and raging anger underneath them so i could and can deal with the pain underneath that. Amazing firefly how much life has improved now most of my fears and my rage has gone away and how differently i have leaned to deal with myself a hurting person, much improved that is for sure.

So keep an eye out for that my dear making sure that your meds are not suppressing your fears more and that this is why you have this problem now. That sure happened with me between 2011 and 2015 because of meds and made 2016 - 2017 a very traumatic time - my inability to deal with my fears and my raging anger - triggering two major psychoses in a very short time when that all came bubbling up involuntarily.

Now i'm back on the same meds, but less, without any more problems because i have learned to deal with my fears and anger and no longer suppress them.

Something to keep in mind perhaps.

Peace