what are you feeling right now? (23)

[W2L]

Hah, I'm going to be just like your husband. I miss the old rotary dial phones. The sound they made when you released the dial, it was great. In a few years, I will probably have a phone made out of a huge chunk of wood, and its cord would be at least an inch thick. One can dream! The more technology develops, the more I regress.

Hope you get some rest from the pain.

I hate cell phones too. I want to go back to the 80's sometimes.

 

[W2L]

I find it hard to follow as well as I tend to take things very literally. The Bible is full of symbolism from thousands of years ago so we'll have to do some research in order to fully understand the Bible. Thank God for the internet!

I like the net for some things, but for most things i dislike it. I would not have discovered some cool things from the past, if not for youttube.

 

[gerbilwoman]

Thank you all, I certainly won't act on my urges.

 

[Jeshu]

I was depressed this morning but feeling better now. Yesterday I had thoughts of killing myself. I am also feeling quite confused. I was reading scripture but it was making little sense to me. Does anyone else find scripture hard to understand or is it just me? Also some conversations I have been having with other people are not making sense to me either.

Dear sister there was a time I was most confused with the scriptures, luckily this has now passed, I'll share with you what brought that about.

The key to Scripture reading I found is to take it personally and know that God - or much rather Life Himself in Love - which is His native tongue - tells us whats up within our own lives. The key to reading the word of God is to take it personally and spiritually and to trust that if you asked The Lord He will come and rescue you from your blindness and opens your eyes. It is Jesus who gets the prisoners free. The blind seeing, the lame walking, the dead raised and those who mourn rejoicing. It was very much like that for me! We have to meet the living Word!!! He dwells within us when we open our hearts for the word to enter.

Now inside of us dwells good and bad, believing and unbelieving, trusting in God and doubting God, loving God and hating God, seeking truth and hiding behind a mask. I could go on for a long time to name all that which dwells within us - our inner world in misery is very much like the world in misery around us.

Both Good - which is real us - and Bad - which is untrue us - see Isaiah 57:1-4 - twisting true us into untrue us and taking us away from the truth of our lives - which is that we can only have life in the truth of God and enjoy well-being - and bring lies that kill true us and instead of life bring suffering and death around. We can have two ways to have life in Bad life - we can suffer bad life and/or we can enjoy bad life and harm good life with our bad deeds. We are divided with and only love for God and neighbour as well as self can get us away from bad life ruling

All this and so incredible much more does the word of God reveal.

Confusion is sown by religion which is an instrument of satan to try and capture us and keep us from reaching good life with and in God. It is best to confess it to the Lord and ask Him to teach us and help us walk in His ways.

This is where the word of God comes in handy!

Look the word of God knows what is happening inside of your inner world of being - do understand yourself like that - know that everything in the physical truth - is the same inside of the spiritual truth. The difference is. That moment spiritually Jesus rules and is victorious - and has been building His kingdom in such away that there is place for all God's children - but physically satan rules and is the boss down here because people love his lies much more than God's truth and almost all God's children are blinded by him and participate in his kingdoms of ruins, death and destruction.

Now the truth is that you are a child of time. Your spirit has been shaped by the lies ruling down here as well - all of ours have - this is called our old nature which we have to leave behind to attain the new.

Here the Word of God is of paramount importance in our lives and also in yours - we find our New Lives in and through the enduring Word of God. When we find life in His Truth - or The Truth of His Spirit - then we are safe from the pain and misery satan throws after those who don't like him and seek after Jesus to get them away from their sins instead of enjoying them. This doesn't just happen once - but time and again - until all the chosen in us are in - all 144,000 - and only bad life remains behind and dies out of us a miserable ending, which only comes our way when we hold onto the lies of the wicked and not the truth of God but not otherwise. Please understand that no matter how sinful we may be in part of our lives when we believe in the truth of God then the Word will set us free from our sins sooner or later. Not talk it right but change us anew!!!

Can you see the divisions? Good in you wants to seek after good but bad life hinders you reading and understanding it and continues to get you into doing wrong things and believing untrue lies - making you feel lonely and godforsaken and the worst of it. This is how it was for me as well - very much so even.

So when I saw that things were like this I made a decision of a life time I was going to let the Word of God take me away from my bad life and bring me my good life and teach me what I didn't know. I began to read the word of God non stop - whenever either good or bad life rules I would open the word of God randomly and hear the verdict of God on the wicked and/or the blessings of God on me at the times I was in His truth. E.g trusting in forgiveness of sins even when the accuser cast fire from heaven - is the baptism you will have to go through - no small feat when our deeds have been bad let me assure you!!!

Anyway I stayed confused in my worldly self all the way through - until all that self in me died - they are the numbered. However I learned to see that the accuser twists the loving truth of God through the sinful spirituality let into my inner being and that life in such lies were all doomed to die - however that if I died trusting in Jesus - then I would rise to newness of life later on - it is amazing how that goes. The Word renews our minds and teaches our hearts the truths of God - time and again and sets us free from the power of the wicked hurting us with bad life. (Honestly true no matter how much of a witch hunt the wicked will instigate within your inner world of being - true you is always chosen and untrue you will always die - but in untrue us we can find salvation if we call out the after Jesus Christ and trust Him to cleanse us from the sinful spirituality we have life in - whatever such might be - no matter how bad bad life is.

This is what the word said to me - I who loved the Lord and trusted He would get me away from bad life - though in bad life I didn't believe this as yet, though now I do - a bit of a spiel to be honest. Listen carefully inside your heart and see what happens within - especially look at confusion and unbelief, doubt and satan trying you to get not listen to what God's word tells you when you read it or by twisting its truths into accusations against you and turning God into a liar and making the word of God untrue. Where the word of God doesn't build up but tears down good life and brings bad life - this is how you know it is not from God - but from the devil - it for you to learn to trust in God's love and not believe the bad life attacking you with God's truth. Be that as it may when you believe God's truth, God's truth will also attack bad life and completely and utterly wipe it out in the end - so be of very good courage - time and again - and life but these three trademarks love, faith and hope - that is all you need to find Him through the Word.

Isaiah 48
“Listen to this, you descendants of Jacob,
you who are called by the name of Israel
and come from the line of Judah,
you who take oaths in the name of the Lord
and invoke the God of Israel—
but not in truth or righteousness—
you who call yourselves citizens of the holy city
and claim to rely on the God of Israel—
the Lord Almighty is his name:
I foretold the former things long ago,
my mouth announced them and I made them known;
then suddenly I acted, and they came to pass.
For I knew how stubborn you were;
your neck muscles were iron,
your forehead was bronze.
Therefore I told you these things long ago;
before they happened I announced them to you
so that you could not say,
‘My images brought them about;
my wooden image and metal god ordained them.’
You have heard these things; look at them all.
Will you not admit them?


“From now on I will tell you of new things,
of hidden things unknown to you.
They are created now, and not long ago;
you have not heard of them before today.
So you cannot say,
‘Yes, I knew of them.’
You have neither heard nor understood;
from of old your ears have not been open.

Well do I know how treacherous you are;
you were called a rebel from birth.
For my own name’s sake I delay my wrath;
for the sake of my praise I hold it back from you,
so as not to destroy you completely.
See, I have refined you, though not as silver;
I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.
For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this.
How can I let myself be defamed?
I will not yield my glory to another.


“Listen to me, Jacob,
Israel, whom I have called:
I am he;
I am the first and I am the last.
My own hand laid the foundations of the earth,
and my right hand spread out the heavens;
when I summon them,
they all stand up together.


“Come together, all of you, and listen:
Which of the idols has foretold these things?
The Lord’s chosen ally
will carry out his purpose against Babylon;
his arm will be against the Babylonians.
I, even I, have spoken;
yes, I have called him.
I will bring him,
and he will succeed in his mission.


“Come near me and listen to this:

“From the first announcement I have not spoken in secret;
at the time it happens, I am there.”

And now the Sovereign Lord has sent me,
endowed with his Spirit.


This is what the Lord says—
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
“I am the Lord your God,
who teaches you what is best for you,
who directs you in the way you should go.
If only you had paid attention to my commands,
your peace would have been like a river,
your well-being like the waves of the sea.
Your descendants would have been like the sand,
your children like its numberless grains;
their name would never be blotted out
nor destroyed from before me.”


Leave Babylon,
flee from the Babylonians!
Announce this with shouts of joy
and proclaim it.
Send it out to the ends of the earth;
say, “The Lord has redeemed his servant Jacob.”
They did not thirst when he led them through the deserts;
he made water flow for them from the rock;
he split the rock
and water gushed out.


“There is no peace,” says the Lord, “for the wicked.”

This is how I learned to read the word of God. Babylon is the power of the world - also and especially religion - within us and has us Jews - the chosen or elect of God in captivity with much suffering, oppression, enslavements, imprisonments where we are either doomed to die or tortured with the wrong bad life has committed with and in us. (though our I ams have the likes of Daniel luckily as well)

No it is not about judgment - though judgment shall be - but it is about liberation of the forces that are making our life so unhappy.

Lets see briefly how the Word goes to work within and what the outcome shall be.

Zechariah 5
I looked again, and there before me was a flying scroll.

He asked me, “What do you see?”

I answered, “I see a flying scroll, twenty cubits long and ten cubits wide.”


And he said to me, “This is the curse that is going out over the whole land; for according to what it says on one side, every thief will be banished, and according to what it says on the other, everyone who swears falsely will be banished. The Lord Almighty declares, ‘I will send it out, and it will enter the house of the thief and the house of anyone who swears falsely by my name. It will remain in that house and destroy it completely, both its timbers and its stones.’”


Then the angel who was speaking to me came forward and said to me, “Look up and see what is appearing.”


I asked, “What is it?”

He replied, “It is a basket.” And he added, “This is the iniquity of the people throughout the land.”


Then the cover of lead was raised, and there in the basket sat a woman! He said, “This is wickedness,” and he pushed her back into the basket and pushed its lead cover down on it.


Then I looked up—and there before me were two women, with the wind in their wings! They had wings like those of a stork, and they lifted up the basket between heaven and earth.


“Where are they taking the basket?” I asked the angel who was speaking to me.


He replied, “To the country of Babylonia to build a house for it. When the house is ready, the basket will be set there in its place.”(See Revelation 18 and 19 if you don't believe it will be a joyous occasion for you who loves the Lord, especially when you have been stained by sin but went to Jesus for salvation with your bad life, but doom for the power of the wicked for the word of God will expose them all and utterly destroy them!)

See also 1 Peter 22-25
Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart. For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. For,


“All people are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of the Lord endures forever."

And this is the word that was preached to you.

So please be of good courage and begin to read the word of God personally - even when you don't understand anything keep trusting that God will reveal the truthful meaning when the time comes for the blind to be healed and not before that.

I found that the word of God works in cycles of 7 years - broken in 2x 3 1/2 year. Which means if you begin to read the word personally today and keep doing that then in three and a half years the light will come on and in your believing self and in another 3 1/2 years your whole inner being will know and believe the truth and the kingdom of God will have started in earnest within your life. No matter how difficult your physical reality might be you will be at rest and ease with in and love God like you never done before. I know that in my life love for God rules besides Christ each and every da, though in other parts of myself where I have not been so faithful I still struggle daily with bad life looking enviously at the chosen within me ruling beside Christ and longing for the day I will be able to deny myself because I love God and let Him have life in me instead of bad life. It is a very long process that much is for sure.

A poem I wrote about the outcome walking with The Son of God using only Scripture as His Words to me and in me.

Be blessed

Twice Blinded

What destroyer, where would he be?
The deadly snake bite I didn't see!
Still part of myself was dragged away,
held captive there by wicked sway,
all the lies sown in my soul,
day by day taking control,
feeding my life lies and misery,
my good times became history.

Bringing thoughts and feelings around,
which are in no way sound,
rather inner kings cruel and strong,
those worldly ways so very wrong,
raising Babylon in all her might,
holding me captive in my fright,
denying grace to rule my ways,
mocking God in His face.

Horse hooves trampling my soul,
grass-hoppers devouring all,
scorpion stings stinging,
famine upon famine bringing,
brimstone burn everything to ash,
massive hailstones me to smash,
the darkness ever growing close,
for the goats got me by the nose.

So working for another's bread,
God's loving truth I forget,
thinking my world would always stink,
driving my good life to the brink,
yet there at the bottom of my might,
I finally began to see the light..,
..Jesus, whom I bring so much grief,
when I have that liar as my chief!

And so The Truth did shine on me!
His Spirit alive in my heart to see!
Oh what blinding light I saw there?
God's goodness displayed everywhere!
His love washing me white as snow!
His loving truth inside my life to flow!
Oh Lamb of God forever to be praised!
For from the dead I have been raised!

 

[Press On]

.

 

[W2L]

This is in response to a private inquiry as to what is bothering me. I believe there are enough people on here who really care about me so I want you to know.

Back on page 275 of the "what are you feeling" thread, and even before, I have been making too much of a big deal in mentioning the mean spirited wickedness of some Christians toward others. Noxot called me on it, and rightly so, postulating that I am also wicked for making these observations.

I saw his point and made a proper edit of my latest post and went about my business, thinking I simply responded and corrected my bad behavior.

But I couldn't get away from it. I'm supposed to be helping and adding to the building up of the body and I wasn't doing it. What horrifies me is my blindness to my own "badness". It shouldn't bother me like it does but I'm hounded to the point that the accuser is even invading my dreams.

I am extremely busy now and very active. Maybe too much. I have started to take Tramadol for a back injury and my mind feels numbed and drugged. I am engulfed in an unexplained sadness I can't shake.

I think there is a root of bitterness from so many bad experiences in my life of Christians who are anything but, if one were to go by what they say and do. When I read about others experiencing the same trauma, it seems I over react in jumping to the defense of those who have been attacked.

I have decided on a self imposed exile since I can't be "nice" on this subject. I need my own hurts to heal and not pass them on. I honestly didn't realize what I was doing and am dismayed at my own blindness.

My thought processes are out of kilter and I seem like I am in a perpetual pit of not being able to forgive myself. To you this may all seem silly but I do not see things rightly now and in perspective. These pain pills are influencing things, too, and my sleep patterns are seriously disrupted. Not good, if one knows anything about chronic depression.

Another thing going on is that a particularly hated sin I thought I had victory over had returned and that mocks my efforts as well. I feel very defeated and am going to separate myself for as long as it takes. I will still pray for those in need here but don't want to participate at least till I get my mind back.

This whole thing is stupid but I feel I need to be honest and let the chips fall where they may.

Its not stupid or silly. I experience something similar. The confusion and the dark feelings of despair, or whatever it is, i feel those too. My words might not do justice to how i actually feel sometimes, and maybe they do, i dont know. I do know however that i have a great struggle inside. I sometimes stumble in it, and my words spill out the pain and distress of it all, but sometimes i just give up and persevere. Lord kill me or let me live, may your will be done, because i cannot fight it. Thats my attitude anymore. Its actually very helpful. I might suggest to take your mind off the problem, and the feelings and just wait on the Lord. Just wait. Dont let the confusion toss you about brother. Just stand firm in knowledge that our fate is in Gods hands and nothing can change that. No amount of worry or fretting will change anything. I believe this is what true hope looks and feels like. Its not being in control but being out of it, and looking to something greater than ourselves which is the Lord Himself. WE hope in Him because we are lost. In the end, we will stand in front of him. May God have mercy on this sinner.

I was actually helped by what noxot said and by your reply as well. I was feeling lead by the Lord and your post seemed like a good example for me to follow. I was glad you said that. It helped me, edified me somehow. I never imagined that you took it as a personal exhortation. I actually took it that way for myself too.

If you need a break its understandable, but after you got this off your chest, if you feel like you dont need a break, please stay around. I would surely understand if you did, or if you didn't.

 

[Press On]

Its not stupid or silly. I experience something similar. The confusion and the dark feelings of despair, or whatever it is, i feel those too. My words might not do justice to how i actually feel sometimes, and maybe they do, i dont know. I do know however that i have a great struggle inside. I sometimes stumble in it, and my words spill out the pain and distress of it all, but sometimes i just give up and persevere. Lord kill me or let me live, may your will be done, because i cannot fight it. Thats my attitude anymore. Its actually very helpful. I might suggest to take your mind off the problem, and the feelings and just wait on the Lord. Just wait. Dont let the confusion toss you about brother. Just stand firm in knowledge that our fate is in Gods hands and nothing can change that. No amount of worry or fretting will change anything. I believe this is what true hope looks and feels like. Its not being in control but being out of it, and looking to something greater than ourselves which is the Lord Himself. WE hope in Him because we are lost. In the end, we will stand in front of him. May God have mercy on this sinner.

I was actually helped by what noxot said and by your reply as well. I was feeling lead by the Lord and your post seemed like a good example for me to follow. I was glad you said that. It helped me, edified me somehow. I never imagined that you took it as a personal exhortation. I actually took it that way for myself too.

If you need a break its understandable, but after you got this off your chest, if you feel like you dont need a break, please stay around. I would surely understand if you did, or if you didn't.

Thank you. It's not all bad. My wife got the good job she was seeking and things will still be really tough financially for about three more months but now we know they will get better.

Also, I found a band of older musicians, all of us 60 somethings, that I fit in with perfectly and will start earning money as early as Sunday night (dinner music at a restaurant playing all types music from the 40s through the 90s). I am thankful for things in the natural getting better, but I just hate the spiritual disconnect I'm feeling.

I was sort of embarrassed to post but I figure if I can't be honest among my brethren where can I be? I probably will take a break; still here but relatively silent at least for a time, till I feel better & have something to offer.

I'm doped up and sore but going to try to sleep. Goodnight, friend.

 

[W2L]

Thank you. It's not all bad. My wife got the good job she was seeking and things will still be really tough financially for about three more months but now we know they will get better.

Also, I found a band of older musicians, all of us 60 somethings, that I fit in with perfectly and will start earning money as early as Sunday night (dinner music at a restaurant playing all types music from the 40 through the 90s). I am thankful for things in the natural getting better, but I just hate the spiritual disconnect I'm feeling.

I was sort of embarrassed to post but I figure if I can't be honest among my brethren where can I be? I probably will take a break; still here but relatively silent at least for a time, till I feel better & have something to offer.

I'm doped up and sore but going to try to sleep. Goodnight, friend.

Yes, im of that same opinion. Its good to be honest because its a good example to lead by. We are supposed to teach each other brother. I love honesty and cannot stand being around people who act as if they are perfect. Not that we should not try to be perfect, but who is really? EVen those who look perfect are actually flawed in some way. They probably believe in something that is wrong. So they may appear to be perfect, but they are not. Thanks for the refreshing honestly. Its like fresh air bro. Take it easy, goodnight.

 

[Jeshu]

This is in response to a private inquiry as to what is bothering me. I believe there are enough people on here who really care about me so I want you to know.

Back on page 275 of the "what are you feeling" thread, and even before, I have been making too much of a big deal in mentioning the mean spirited wickedness of some Christians toward others. Noxot called me on it, and rightly so, postulating that I am also wicked for making these observations.

I saw his point and made a proper edit of my latest post and went about my business, thinking I simply responded and corrected my bad behavior.

But I couldn't get away from it. I'm supposed to be helping and adding to the building up of the body and I wasn't doing it. What horrifies me is my blindness to my own "badness". It shouldn't bother me like it does but I'm hounded to the point that the accuser is even invading my dreams.

I am extremely busy now and very active. Maybe too much. I have started to take Tramadol for a back injury and my mind feels numbed and drugged. I am engulfed in an unexplained sadness I can't shake.

I think there is a root of bitterness from so many bad experiences in my life of Christians who are anything but, if one were to go by what they say and do. When I read about others experiencing the same trauma, it seems I over react in jumping to the defense of those who have been attacked.

I have decided on a self imposed exile since I can't be "nice" on this subject. I need my own hurts to heal and not pass them on. I honestly didn't realize what I was doing and am dismayed at my own blindness.

My thought processes are out of kilter and I seem like I am in a perpetual pit of not being able to forgive myself. To you this may all seem silly but I do not see things rightly now and in perspective. These pain pills are influencing things, too, and my sleep patterns are seriously disrupted. Not good, if one knows anything about chronic depression.

Another thing going on is that a particularly hated sin I thought I had victory over had returned and that mocks my efforts as well. I feel very defeated and am going to separate myself for as long as it takes. I will still pray for those in need here but don't want to participate at least till I get my mind back.

This whole thing is stupid but I feel I need to be honest and let the chips fall where they may.

Brother the good news is that our judgmental spirit dies - this is a day of darkness as Amos prophesied for the errant ones in us - but also the coming of the truth for those who await Him.

Can you see that brother? Satan is trying everything to keep you in his courts after you realised that you were being judgmental as well - throwing your whole judgmental attitude upon yourself, as if there is no forgiveness.

However stand firm in the faith brother - God's grace rules! You who have been judgmental - will die to being like that - and find newness of life in the near future. Judgment comes before light, so please don't worry or think something strange is happening to you - just the word of God coming true upon the wicked and unfortunately they are in your life, so their demise can be a bit of a roller coaster for you learning not to walk with them. When you stop judging - also yourself you know you have achieved your aim and not before that.

All I can say is that the same has happened to me - and satan fights brother - does he ever!!!! So hold onto the truth you have learned brother - God loves you and is bringing judgment upon the judgmental one in you. I found that to repent - don't defend - letting go of bad life time and again - as I know you will - and let the wicked ruling behind all that be pulverized by the Rolling Stone filing your inner world, resting safely in His loving truth knowing that you will certainly rule beside Christ at the end of it completely Victoriously.) Hebrews 4:1-13 say all of this better than I can.

The accuser is trying to bring judgment upon you so that God's Word is no longer true and his misery can rule you again! That is his aim, you can be assured of that, using your depressive illness to cause trouble, he does that with me all the time as well.

Do know that I love you brother and commend you for your honesty to share your struggle with us. I don't see why going away would help you best. I would thin staying and encouraging and loving as good as you can and also get as much support as possible in your battle with bad life would be a bonus. One thing satan always does is isolate us in our pits so that he can over power us with his lies please be aware of that.

The good thing is that you are free to do as you like. So if you need a break then certainly take one, but please be aware of satan's schemes and don't let the accuser disqualify you from being a living witness of Christ loving truth. I am convinced that even though bad life still also has life in you - as it has in us all - you are beloved with God right now - I hope that gives you courage.

Peace.

 

[W2L]

I keep getting logged out of my CF account. It happens a lot.

 

[Jeshu]

This is how I'm feeling right now. (A poem I wrote still fighting for the freedom God brought me as I longed about in the end.)

Hey Evil Ones!

See.., hear.., feel..?
Do, do, do is what you always yell,
have, have, have is what you always want,
take, take, take is what you always do,
permanently silencing those arising in opposition,
in darkness your evil deeds committing.
Yet what is it all for?
Your realities - the nucleus of wickedness - ruling life?
Who paid for the construction of your daily selves?
Knowing that you are not realising time as you should?
To be the ones after the making of your own waylaid egos?
(Yet perhaps, in retrospect, perishing the morning after,
each time some more - (Oh such a wonderful sight!))

Yet for now - rule.., rule.., rule..,
arrogance decreeing the moments,
inviting evil into being!
Fear.., guilt.., shame!
Much good is forced into hiding!
Innocence is perpetually raped!
Honesty has been imprisoned!
Malefic murderers stalk the night!
Cruel addictions dominate life's needs and desires,
threatening torture and grand scale genocide,
constantly striving for yet more mastery over life,
a great job at being free you are making of it.
Please tell - any excuse to validate your lives of dominant ascendency?
Will deceiving, hurting, robbing and killing life keep going unpunished?

Run.., hide.., mask..,so many lies!
Captivating souls in reigns that scourge,
spoofing perceptions into untrue opinions,
stealthy hypocrisy masques true intent,
turning peaceful good into evil lusts,
Pulling strings creating conforming puppets,
becharming, abducting, and imprisoning,
cowardly hiding behind the bushes along the route,
waiting for the innocent to come walking past.
Hey yellow - changed your colour as of late?
Any of your unveilings been upfront and honest?
Which fictitious identity are you using now?
Still hiding in the same shrouded place?
Hidden headquarters far below the surface?
Billing the cost of your power trip to whom?
How are you planning to abscond all that at The End?
Why will you not respond to any of these questions?
Or do your answers hate the Truth of Life's Light?

Curse.., swear.., yell..,
yes always huffing and puffing,
denying that serving Jesus is Loving Truth.
Tightening values even enforcing moral belts,
yet feasting on the lusts ensuing human flesh.
Flaming rebellion and holier-than-thou attitudes,
destructiveness trying good to accomplish bad,
securing guiltless hearts out of God's existence.
No love for truth is the rule behind wicked lies,
self exultation snaring human egocentricness,
suffocating, strangling, throttling,
till honest to God is out of breath, prayer faltering into a deadening hold, deception giving rise to lovelessness,
judgement towering over everything.


Twist, swerve, duck, jump,
and then into the attack,
with a cutting tongue to nuke.
getting it out in just one moment,those lying voices of contempt and defilement, cultivating dishonesty and lovelessness, threatening disgrace using guilty feelings, dimming internal lights - dulling comprehension, conquering and captivating even the young, twisting straight paths into covering-up tracks, how long before these devilish tongues will still?

You steal the goodness life has on offer!
For hey, that is what you must carry,
fading stars - falling meteorites of existence,
your woeful truths - evil self retaining - eternally!

For when The Truth comes,
His Light burning your lies,
how will you rule me then?
What power have you got?
Believing you, robs strength,
I myself believing your lies,
stealing my good life away.
You're the worst scum there is,
evil brood, vipers eggs hatching!
What else but to heed Jesus Christ,
our Heavenly Father's Loving Truth?
Jesus true God made Flesh and Blood!
He conquered all you evil ones!
I'll heed His truth instead of you,
how then can you hurt me any longer?


So hear me well
all you evildoers!
I tell you once, I tell you twice..,
I will never forgive wickedness
for being being evil!

OUT OF MY LIFE,
THE LOT OF YOU!!!!

I'll never again listen,
eat your crap,
or listen to beguiling lies!
God's love and peace
my truth instead!
Ruling with Jesus!

Hotter! Yes fry! Burn.., burn.., burn! What temperature
must the fire reach ere you loosen your deadly grip on humanity?

You controlling spirits,
ruling human beings,
defecating good
truth turning ugly.

Life's light within
is what you steal and murder
transforming our truth
into a most volatile fuel!

Can you escape
the flames you yourselves have lit?
The fact is - you always harmed life with your evil lies,
having no mercy on the sick, old, poor and weak ever.
Can you relent from all this
when you run out of time?
Those wicked thoroughfares
out of your back doors?
One big slide into the
gaping mouth called hell!
Your pained and hellish
anguish shall then be,
your thoughts
cashing your words
and your deeds!

As for me?
I shall finally break free,
and come and go as I like,
no more fear inside of me to strike.
Free from cruel imprisonments inwardly,
truly be as I was always destined to be.
A clear conscious - speaks of paradise,
shining like a star at night - I shall arise.
Genuinely the Lord's servant I shall be,
exulting The Way Jesus is also teaches me.
Lambs beside beasts of prey graze the field,
snake bites no longer poison yield.
I shall pick up my bed and walk,
no evil to my heart and mind to talk.
Receiving a kingship from eternity,
ruling my being in peace and prosperity.
This is what I pray will happen to my soul;
that God - The Father of Life - BE - All in All!

Come Lord Jesus, please come and collect The Chosen!​

 

[Jeshu]

I keep getting logged out of my CF account. It happens a lot.

How can that happen? Has someone hacked your browser or worse your keyboard? Or what?

 

[chaoticfirefly]

Bad day.

And I heard about France :/

And I'm gonna be moving in with my parents instead of going to school. How do I bring it up to my roommate though?

 

[W2L]

How can that happen? Has someone hacked your browser or worse your keyboard? Or what?

I dunno. I went to see if i was listed in the members who are currently online, after i was logged off. It said i was still online. Maybe that's just a glitch though, i don't know. I changed my password.

 

[W2L]

I accidentally put my password in the username box, and thats not secure. Its remembered by the web browser. Maybe thats something to consider. I really dont know, but i changed my password.

 

[W2L]

Amen, i get to share the gospel with hackers maybe? Praise the Lord!

 

[blessedbethyname101]

I am going to bible study tonight. I bought some snacks for the group and am looking forward to going.

Thank God for a good group of people. I like talking about my problems and praying about them in a group.

We are studying Ezra.

Today, I had a good day sleeping and shopping for snacks.

I am blessed to have enough to eat, place to sleep, and people to talk with.

I am grateful for what God has provided me.

Thank you, Jesus!

 

[Press On]

Brother the good news is that our judgmental spirit dies - this is a day of darkness as Amos prophesied for the errant ones in us - but also the coming of the truth for those who await Him.

Can you see that brother? Satan is trying everything to keep you in his courts after you realised that you were being judgmental as well - throwing your whole judgmental attitude upon yourself, as if there is no forgiveness.

However stand firm in the faith brother - God's grace rules! You who have been judgmental - will die to being like that - and find newness of life in the near future. Judgment comes before light, so please don't worry or think something strange is happening to you - just the word of God coming true upon the wicked and unfortunately they are in your life, so their demise can be a bit of a roller coaster for you learning not to walk with them. When you stop judging - also yourself you know you have achieved your aim and not before that.

All I can say is that the same has happened to me - and satan fights brother - does he ever!!!! So hold onto the truth you have learned brother - God loves you and is bringing judgment upon the judgmental one in you. I found that to repent - don't defend - letting go of bad life time and again - as I know you will - and let the wicked ruling behind all that be pulverized by the Rolling Stone filing your inner world, resting safely in His loving truth knowing that you will certainly rule beside Christ at the end of it completely Victoriously.) Hebrews 4:1-13 say all of this better than I can.

The accuser is trying to bring judgment upon you so that God's Word is no longer true and his misery can rule you again! That is his aim, you can be assured of that, using your depressive illness to cause trouble, he does that with me all the time as well.

Do know that I love you brother and commend you for your honesty to share your struggle with us. I don't see why going away would help you best. I would thin staying and encouraging and loving as good as you can and also get as much support as possible in your battle with bad life would be a bonus. One thing satan always does is isolate us in our pits so that he can over power us with his lies please be aware of that.

The good thing is that you are free to do as you like. So if you need a break then certainly take one, but please be aware of satan's schemes and don't let the accuser disqualify you from being a living witness of Christ loving truth. I am convinced that even though bad life still also has life in you - as it has in us all - you are beloved with God right now - I hope that gives you courage.

Peace.

Thank you, Gerry. I am going to log on once or twice a week to pray for you all and keep up but probably just lurk. My mind is having cognitive issues from the painkiller but I also don't trust myself in my spiritual condition now and don't want to misconstrue anything that's written here. I don't feel I can contribute much.

I am indeed under condemnation but I must work through this in my own way. You are welcome to PM, but for now I would just like to keep to myself and dig into the Word (even though I don't much feel like it). It's a matter of doing what I know I must do (drawing strength from God) as opposed to my own feelings and inclinations.

Another tragic event in France; my heart breaks and prayers go out to all.

 

[Jeshu]

I dunno. I went to see if i was listed in the members who are currently online, after i was logged off. It said i was still online. Maybe that's just a glitch though, i don't know. I changed my password.

I think, though I might be wrong, this only happens because they don't refresh the membership list all the time but only every so many minutes to preserve bandwidth usage. People log on and off all the time so the counters on web sites usually don't give an accurate reading but more an quiet accurate indication of the amount of current users.

I've come to realise that it could be that our on line icon is still green while we have been off line for more than 5 or even 10 minutes already. This came to my notice when someone accused me of ignoring their urgent messages for help - which they had send to me thinking I was still on line - but in reality I had already left but CF hadn't updated its user list yet. However it could be that this was how it went on the old CF and not now any more now, but I have noticed on other sites as well that on line icons stayed green while people had already left the forums.

Not something to freak about I don't think but I might be wrong.

 

[W2L]

I think, though I might be wrong, this only happens because they don't refresh the membership list all the time but only every so many minutes to preserve bandwidth usage. People log on and off all the time so the counters on web sites usually don't give an accurate reading but more an quiet accurate indication of the amount of current users.

I've come to realise that it could be that our on line icon is still green while we have been off line for more than 5 or even 10 minutes already. This came to my notice when someone accused me of ignoring their urgent messages for help - which they had send to me thinking I was still on line - but in reality I had already left but CF hadn't updated its user list yet. However it could be that this was how it went on the old CF and not now any more now, but I have noticed on other sites as well that on line icons stayed green while people had already left the forums.

Not something to freak about I don't think but I might be wrong.

I'm not freaking out anyway. There isn't much point in it. I agree bro.