What are my options?

Neostarwcc

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I know I should be talking to a bankruptcy lawyer about this, I mean I had a plan and of course because I'm manic I screwed it up again. Explanation? I've been manic for about a month now, it all started when I thought buying an expensive video card and a monitor was a good idea. That should have been clue number one that a manic episode was starting. But, it didn't tip anyone off because I usually buy expensive computer parts and they're part of what makes me, me. But of course my charging didn't stop there, I sold some computer parts I had laying around to help pay for my other parts. But all in all this entire episode so far I've probably charged $14,000 (I had REALLY good credit before) I owe about $12,000 right now.. I can't get credit anywhere because my cards are maxed out and I wasted $1,500 or so trying them pay off. I'm on ssi and there's no way I could pay all my debt off in even 10 or 15 years I screwed up so badly. The worst part? I'm so manic I don't care if I clean out my bank account either, I have to confess I didn't pay my cable bill or rent this month.

Only during a manic episode would I be up at 4 am writing to my family on the Christian forums pleading for help and to understand what's going on and how badly I screwed up. I'm just so pathetic.
 

bèlla

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Wow. I’m sorry to hear this. Have you considered setting up spending limits or requiring certain dollar amounts to be approved by a second party? That could curtail your expenses when manic.

Put a prayer request on the Prayer Wall too.

~bella
 
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Neostarwcc

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Wow. I’m sorry to hear this. Have you considered setting up spending limits or requiring certain dollar amounts to be approved by a second party? That could curtail your expenses when manic.

Put a prayer request on the Prayer Wall too.

~bella

Well they just shouldn't allow bipolar/schizophrenic people to have credit cards honestly. My wife usually hides my credit cards on me because there are moments like this but I've never charged this much before. I don't see the point in giving her my cards now though because they're maxed out and I cannot get any more credit. I think my highest debt ever was like $5,000 and I paid it back in 2 years. But I have a car now that just sucks away money like there's nobody's business (my mom gave it to me) and I started attending church last month in a town about an hour away.

The entire congregation and staff (Its a PCA church) have been very helpful I'm best friends basically with the head Elder and his wife but, there's just no way I'm going to be able to pay this off unless my wife gets a job for a while. Like, a full time job. I had the plan of making minimum payments for 6 months and freezing the cards and declaring bankruptcy in Janurary but of course that doesn't work, I know how to unfreeze them and know the numbers and cvc code by heart now (I'm very good with numbers, I know my bank account and routing number too) just... stupidity.
 
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bèlla

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Well they just shouldn't allow bipolar/schizophrenic people to have credit cards honestly.

Many would consider that discriminatory.

there's just no way I'm going to be able to pay this off unless my wife gets a job for a while. Like, a full time job.

Is she willing to do it? Are your parents aware?

~bella
 
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rhomphaeam

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I know I should be talking to a bankruptcy lawyer about this, I mean I had a plan and of course because I'm manic I screwed it up again. Explanation? I've been manic for about a month now, it all started when I thought buying an expensive video card and a monitor was a good idea. That should have been clue number one that a manic episode was starting. But, it didn't tip anyone off because I usually buy expensive computer parts and they're part of what makes me, me. But of course my charging didn't stop there, I sold some computer parts I had laying around to help pay for my other parts. But all in all this entire episode so far I've probably charged $14,000 (I had REALLY good credit before) I owe about $12,000 right now.. I can't get credit anywhere because my cards are maxed out and I wasted $1,500 or so trying them pay off. I'm on ssi and there's no way I could pay all my debt off in even 10 or 15 years I screwed up so badly. The worst part? I'm so manic I don't care if I clean out my bank account either, I have to confess I didn't pay my cable bill or rent this month.

Only during a manic episode would I be up at 4 am writing to my family on the Christian forums pleading for help and to understand what's going on and how badly I screwed up. I'm just so pathetic.

I am tempted to say you should start by not calling yourself a Calvinist first - but then as amusing as that was intended to be I suddenly realised that your language is manic. Can I ask if you are Bi Polar?
 
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Neostarwcc

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Many would consider that discriminatory.



Is she willing to do it? Are your parents aware?

~bella

Discrimitory, but it would save banks a lot of headaches when someone has to declare bankruptcy they probably lose hundreds of thousands of dollars if not millions a year on bipolar people.

My parents are aware of how much I owe. When it was $7,000 they were going to loan me the money but it's too high now. My dad advised me to go bankrupt in six months, I don't really have a choice he said. But, everytime inpay my cards I buy things and spend my credit. The plan won't work Iif keep doing that.
 
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Neostarwcc

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I am tempted to say you should start by not calling yourself a Calvinist first - but then as amusing as that was intended to be I suddenly realised that your language is manic. Can I ask if you are Bi Polar?

I'm both bipolar and schizophrenic. I get both kinds of episodes and sometimes both at the same time. Luckily this is just mania and I'm sleeping a little bit.
 
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bèlla

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Discrimitory, but it would save banks a lot of headaches when someone has to declare bankruptcy they probably lose hundreds of thousands of dollars if not millions a year on bipolar people.

They write it off. Risk is leveraged to guarantee they make a profit.

But, everytime inpay my cards I buy things and spend my credit. The plan won't work Iif keep doing that.

It sounds like the account should be frozen until the debt is repaid. They can add restrictions if the bankruptcy is approved.

~bella
 
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Hmm

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As well as following the excellent advice from bèlla I wonder if there's an equivalent of Christians Against Poverty (CAP) in your country that you could turn to? A description of CAP from their website:

”Christians Against Poverty (CAP) provides free debt help and local community groups across the UK. Our free services, run with local churches, provide practical and emotional support and show people that there is always hope."

Good luck.
 
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bèlla

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As well as following the excellent advice from bèlla I wonder if there's an equivalent of Christians Against Poverty (CAP) in your country that you could turn to?

Crown Financial is a great resource as well. :)

~bella
 
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rhomphaeam

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I'm both bipolar and schizophrenic. I get both kinds of episodes and sometimes both at the same time. Luckily this is just mania and I'm sleeping a little bit.

Right! What you describe as a plan seems to have been worked out at least some $7k ago - otherwise you would have been unable to justify the continued behaviour. I take it that you don't have a bipolar type 1 diagnosis because your actions whilst manic are well grounded behaviourally. And that would be more likely a schizophrenic episode because that would require a more psychological or behavioural imperative. In short you don't appear to be delusional other than in a personality self identity crisis threshold. Like you said - [you] usually buy expensive computer parts and they're part of what makes me, me. Based on what you have said, then the only thing that would change that view I have expressed would be if you are delusional self identifying with video characters - and were that true you ought to be able to know that as should your wife and your parents and your doctor.

You haven't expressed yourself in terms that would be easily given to know those things - but if you are going to address the debt - you must take steps to eradicate the facility of credit and not simply find an alternative to bankruptcy. Dealing with the debt is surly the simplest course - and that is why your father suggested bankruptcy I presume. I realise that you didn't ask about anything other than how to assess your options - but the money is outside of an ethical frame of reference when trying to mitigate episodic manic behaviour. And dealing with the money men isn't a health issue. Its a straight money fact - so deal in straight money facts and formalise a letter of disclosure to those you owe money to and then walk away by the most simplest means possible. Bankruptcy.

The money you owe whilst on Supplemental Security Income is evidenced by the Federal award - so there is no need to go into the why's and wherefores with money men. The bankruptcy process needs a more nuanced approach and so you need to get some independent advise and go from there. Just my personal opinion.
 
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Hmm

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Crown Financial is a great resource as well. :)

~bella

That looks a fantastic option for the OP to consider. They would help him to work out a spending and debt management plan that would enable him to get free of his current situation.
 
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rturner76

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I had a mishap with a rental car and they slammed me with a $3,500 charge on an already maxxed out card. Knowing I could never repay, I filed for bankruptcy with the help of a lawyer. ALL my debt and the overdrawn bank account were forgiven. It's a death blow to my credit but I got to start over. This time around I got one card with a small limit for emergencies but I pay cash for everything. And I had to pay off the lawyer on a payment plan that was very easy.

Funny thing, not 30 days after it was all done I got about 20 letters from different car lots trying to get me to "rebuild my credit" with a "fresh start auto loan." Yeah, start stacking that debt right back up.....no thank you.
 
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A_Thinker

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there's just no way I'm going to be able to pay this off unless my wife gets a job for a while. Like, a full time job.
Bankruptcy seems to be your best option ... as it would limit your access to credit ...
 
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GreekOrthodox

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In addition to all the other good ideas here, I would talk to your church and see if they have someone who is a financial planner who could help guide you. If you do need a CC for emergencies, then only your wife should have that one.
 
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Sabertooth

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Excuse me if this is too simplistic, but shouldn't you be addressing the big problem of mania more than just putting out another one of its fires?
If you don't, aren't you guaranteed to do more of the same when you feel comfortable again...?

How is your wife at handling finances?
If she is competent, could she be your Guardian of Estate (after a bankruptcy)?

After our bankruptcy, my wife realized her memory problems (from her previous meningitis) contributed to the problem. Now, I am responsible for all non-discretionary expenses but one that she feels she can handle. But no paper checks or credit cards for her. She doesn't want them. She would rather that I handle the big-picture stuff.

We have shared discretionary funds that we use for agreed-upon expenses.
If I take $10 for a personal hobby expense, she gets $10, too (and vice versa).
Neither of us use credit for personal hobbies, only for things like house & car repairs. And those purchases are backed by savings accounts. (I am on SSDI, too.)
 
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Neostarwcc

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As well as following the excellent advice from bèlla I wonder if there's an equivalent of Christians Against Poverty (CAP) in your country that you could turn to? A description of CAP from their website:

”Christians Against Poverty (CAP) provides free debt help and local community groups across the UK. Our free services, run with local churches, provide practical and emotional support and show people that there is always hope."

Good luck.

I live in the United States (New York more specifically) so I don't know if there's a Christian organization that can help besides the salvation army or some catholic charities. The salvation army offered to help us with food but I have enough food money at the moment.

I've been working with one of our deacons in my church though. The church gave us a couple hundred dollars for gas and food which strangely enough, I haven't touched yet. We used maybe 50 bucks of that money so far. $30 of it for filling up our gas tank. I feel horrible though, because of my episode I haven't been able to go to church for 3 weeks now. I miss it.
 
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Carl Emerson

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As well as following the excellent advice from bèlla I wonder if there's an equivalent of Christians Against Poverty (CAP) in your country that you could turn to? A description of CAP from their website:

”Christians Against Poverty (CAP) provides free debt help and local community groups across the UK. Our free services, run with local churches, provide practical and emotional support and show people that there is always hope."

Good luck.

Excellent idea...
 
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Neostarwcc

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Excuse me if this is too simplistic, but shouldn't you be addressing the big problem of mania more than just putting out another one of its fires?
If you don't, aren't you guaranteed to do more of the same when you feel comfortable again...?

How is your wife at handling finances?
If she is competent, could she be your Guardian of Estate (after a bankruptcy)?

After our bankruptcy, my wife realized her memory problems (from her previous meningitis) contributed to the problem. Now, I am responsible for all non-discretionary expenses but one that she feels she can handle. But no paper checks or credit cards for her. She doesn't want them. She would rather that I handle the big-picture stuff.

We have shared discretionary funds that we use for agreed-upon expenses.
If I take $10 for a personal hobby expense, she gets $10, too (and vice versa).
Neither of us use credit for personal hobbies, only for things like house & car repairs. And those purchases are backed by savings accounts. (I am on SSDI, too.)

You kind of have to wait out a manic episode. I'm taking antipsychotics and other pills which are preventing it from getting much, much worse. But really I'm probably not going to get better for at least a month. I do agree with everyone that I need to be cut off asap. But, Idk I can't charge more my cards are maxed and my credit is so trashed I couldn't get credit anyway. So the problem can't get any worse.

My wife is terrible at budgeting, it's why I usually take care of our bills. I'm usually really good at it but naturally not lately.

My parents can be my Guardian of state though. They offered to help with my ssi before too but I wanted control over my own funds which like I said, normally I'm good at. This was like 12 years ago so maybe I'll change my mind.
 
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