LovebirdsFlying
My husband drew this cartoon of me.
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- Aug 13, 2007
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I think I just fell in love with my husband all over again. While he can be a real butt sometimes, a little insensitive, I just walked into the living room and heard him on the phone with his sister.
Understand that I used to be very badly bullied by my brother. He sent me to school visibly injured several times. A black eye, a busted lip, whatever, and I can't count how many times he bloodied my nose. In fact, I still have scars on the inside of my lip from him punching me in the mouth. People looked the other way and ignored it, because they saw it as "just kids fighting among themselves" and didn't think it was anything worth paying attention to. If I defended myself, however, they assumed because I was older (by less than ten months) that I must be the one bullying him. (Nowadays, the bully brother and my Lost Child sister, along with some cousins on my father's side of the family, are the only family members I'm even still speaking to. Mother, pretty much all of her side of the family who are still alive, and Golden Child brother have been cut off.)
It didn't go to that extreme with my husband and his sister. He was older by two years, and they had no other siblings. They were raised by a narcissistic, abusive father and a mother who stayed because she had been led to believe all men were like that. Husband was Scapegoat, sister was Golden Child. Hubby had to get a job and pay for his own car, pay rent after he started working, stuff like that, while Sister was handed everything. I can see where this would set up some hostility on his part. He did tell me once that he used to be mean to his sister. The way he worded it was "monkey see, monkey do" because of their father. As far as I know, it wasn't as physical as with my brother.
So imagine walking into the room and hearing him tell his sister, genuine and heartfelt, how sorry he is for the way he used to be mean to her. It's the kind of thing we'll never get from the ones who REALLY need to give it.
Sister lives two states away and plans to visit in July. I haven't seen her since our wedding, 8 1/2 years ago. I'm looking forward to it.
Understand that I used to be very badly bullied by my brother. He sent me to school visibly injured several times. A black eye, a busted lip, whatever, and I can't count how many times he bloodied my nose. In fact, I still have scars on the inside of my lip from him punching me in the mouth. People looked the other way and ignored it, because they saw it as "just kids fighting among themselves" and didn't think it was anything worth paying attention to. If I defended myself, however, they assumed because I was older (by less than ten months) that I must be the one bullying him. (Nowadays, the bully brother and my Lost Child sister, along with some cousins on my father's side of the family, are the only family members I'm even still speaking to. Mother, pretty much all of her side of the family who are still alive, and Golden Child brother have been cut off.)
It didn't go to that extreme with my husband and his sister. He was older by two years, and they had no other siblings. They were raised by a narcissistic, abusive father and a mother who stayed because she had been led to believe all men were like that. Husband was Scapegoat, sister was Golden Child. Hubby had to get a job and pay for his own car, pay rent after he started working, stuff like that, while Sister was handed everything. I can see where this would set up some hostility on his part. He did tell me once that he used to be mean to his sister. The way he worded it was "monkey see, monkey do" because of their father. As far as I know, it wasn't as physical as with my brother.
So imagine walking into the room and hearing him tell his sister, genuine and heartfelt, how sorry he is for the way he used to be mean to her. It's the kind of thing we'll never get from the ones who REALLY need to give it.
Sister lives two states away and plans to visit in July. I haven't seen her since our wedding, 8 1/2 years ago. I'm looking forward to it.
