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Welp, that was fun while it lasted

Discussion in 'Married Couples' started by bp88, May 6, 2013.

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  1. akmom

    akmom Newbie

    Oh goodness. That's really manipulative. She must have some deep insecurities, given that she feels so compelled to "trap" you (insisting on having a child with you, draining your finances, trying to get you to sign a support contract). Shouldn't it be enough that you married her?

    I think counseling is probably the right suggestion. You can tell her all day that you're in for the long haul, but it sounds like she needs something more to validate that. Better to work out her issues in counseling than give in to some outrageous demand that she thinks makes your commitment to her more "secured."
  2. bp88

    bp88 Guest

    It's not getting any better. My car had major problems this week, and I found enough money to fix what I thought it would be, then yesterday got a warning from the mechanic that it might be more. I told her we need to save money to fix the car, and her response is that she's not giving me any of "her" money and not having anything to spend on herself for the rest of the month to fix her car. Her solution: borrow money from her mom to get a new car (still have a year's payments on this one), but her mom has said that she won't loan it to me unless I sign a paper saying that if we divorce, my wife gets the car and I have to pay it off. Sounds very fishy and manipulative to me.

    Today I was just feeling so lonely - like you get married to *not* feel that way, and then saw this at random on Facebook:

    That's where I'm at. Just lonely, and feeling trapped, and knowing that there's no way in heck I'm gonna look like the victim in a divorce trial with our income disparity. Like I could afford to file anyway.

    Please pray for a financial blessing and the wisdom to use it beneficially.
  3. JohnDB

    JohnDB Regular Member

    Get a new Checking account and savings account IMMEDIATELY. Not tomorrow...YESTERDAY.

    she is planning her escape now with any and every nickel she can grab on the way out the door.

    That includes vehicles, retirement portfolios, savings accounts or CDs or anything of value she can turn into cash.

    Anything that you do not want to lose remove her name from it. Sure you don't want her to leave as that will mean another failed marriage but it isn't the worst thing dude. A cold manipulative heart is much much worse and right now you are married to a person who can "speak for you" using such a heart.

    You need a "lifelock" on your credit too. Don't let her take out credit cards in your name and then make you pay for them. You don't even want to know some of the nightmares that have happened to divorcing dads. Protection for your son and you (including financially) is important especially with her behaving in this fashion.

    giving her a child is only for the child support she wishes to extort from you after the divorce. So do NOT give in.

    Get clean and get rid of the evil woman.
  4. ex-pat

    ex-pat Building my house...

    Eastern Orthodox
    Not for nothing, but there is NO WAY that you two could pass an adoption screening. Not possible. Not unless you decide to lie. It's part of the reason a couple is also interviewed separately.
  5. cerette

    cerette Regular Member

    What a mess, your wife seems very manipulative. I agree you should get your own bank account to make sure money is there for things needed, such as fixing your car.
  6. bp88

    bp88 Guest

    Well, she admitted to cheating this week, so it's time to let it go. I've stood for it for at least a year longer than any reasonable person would expect. Thank you for your support.
  7. GuitarMia05

    GuitarMia05 Your Friendly Tattooed Pastor/Worship Leader

    United States
    Praying for you. I know this isn't easy.
  8. pittsflyer

    pittsflyer Guest

    Well get ready to fill your calender with talking to lawyers, filling out paper work and drama. I hope you have enough money to hire out your needs because most women wont touch you with a 10 ft pole during this time.

    If you are super lucky you can do a simple disolusionment with little money or assets exchanged. IF she is amicable to a disolusionment without a bunch of crazy demands then take it before you go much further down this road.

    I cant even imagine that there is a guy left in the USA that does not at least know a guy know knows a guy that has already been through this. Unless someone is getting married at like 18 in a rural community they ought to know better to have their own bank account all titles in their own name and a non trivial amount of non electronic money/gold hidden away along with passports/visa's, etc. Miniturize your possesions as much as possible (lap tops instead of desk tops, etc) so that you can be gone quickly and all the paper work is clean. Also have your own mail box that no one knows about that you get all your important mail at, alot of mail boxes now will also forward your mail indefinintly for a nominal fee as long as your important bills are on auto pay you really only need mail a few times a month anyways.

    When men stop being push overs girls will be forced to be women.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 1, 2015
  9. Inkachu

    Inkachu Bursting with fruit flavor!

    Way to swoop into a thread that's seven months old and tack on a bit more jaded male bitterness. You must feel so proud.
  10. George95

    George95 Gone but not forgotten.

    Eastern Orthodox

    Closing this as the thread has run its course.

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